Kelly's Journey

Port removal

2010-11-08T17:37:00.000-08:00

Today was the day I got my port-a-cath removed!!!! Praise the Lord!!! It was done in the dr's office with just using lidocaine to deaden the area. It took some extra time to cut through the scar tissue but he finally was able to and get the tubing that was in the subclavin vein. He finally was able to get the whole port out. I was surprised how long the tubing was---about 5 inches!!! He asked if I wanted it...he was laughing but once he had a patient who wanted it. Nope, I just wanted to see it. Almost thought of taking a picture of it to put on my blog. lol but I didn't!!!! So far I've not had pain from the site but I think it's still deaden from the lidocaine. I think I have about 3 stitches but not sure for it's covered up with a dressing to stay for 48 hours. This dr. is a friend of mine so we just conversed about all kinds of things while he did the procedure...made the time go by much faster. It took about 30 minutes to do....longer than I thought it would. Anyway, that was the really last thing that needed to be done to end my journey with cancer. Guess I should say that this is the end of my blog. How do I end such a thing? I am so appreciative to all who have followed this journey. Especially those who have prayed for me. It's been an amazing journey...not one that I want to go through again or would want anyone to go through but I feel that this was a time that God really taught me so much and that my faith soared. I now am able to tell my testimony in hopes to encourage others to have faith in God. Love to you all!!!!

Hair and meeting

2010-11-05T14:21:00.000-07:00

My hair is finally growing and still curly!!! My bangs are just about long enough to get it cut. I am going to put up a picture of my hair so you can see. I went to the breast cancer support group that we have in my town. I've not been in several months. Since we have a new cancer center, they remodeled the place where I last had chemo into a cancer empowerment room that has a beauty place so women can have someone help them with wigs and makeup. Wow, it's very nice. Wish it had been there when I was going through chemo. Most of the women at the meeting have been coming so they all had nametags but there wasn't one for me. That is what I get for not going. lol The last time I went, I was wearing my wig so I am guessing no one really recognized me for one lady asked if this was my first time to go. Awhile back, they gave us these cute bracelets and yesterday I received a charm that has 2010 on it to put on my bracelet. Each year we will get a new charm. New people are leading the group so that was different for I really liked the doctor that was leading it. Two other ladies finished their chemo about the time I did so they are getting hair too and we all have curly hair. lol. On Monday, I get my port taken out. I will be so happy. I have so enjoyed eating spinach lately and not having to worry about what I eat due to the blood thinner. However, I am trying to cut down the calories again for I was gaining weight. I have lost 3 1/2 pounds this week. I cut out all snacks and no desserts when at home. It has helped. Thanks for all your prayers and love. Love you all.

Doppler study

2010-10-27T18:58:00.000-07:00

This morning I had a doppler study on my right arm which is really a sonogram. They were looking to see if I still have a clot or not behind my port-a-cath or anywhere else. They were training a new young lady and she had some difficulty doing it and took a long time but luckily I wasn't in a hurry. It was interesting watching and sometimes I wondered how in the world they could tell the difference between a vein and an artery. Anyway my doctor's office called me this afternoon to give me the results of the doppler studies. Praise the Lord!!! No clots were seen!! So, my doctor took me off Coumadin (blood thinner) today!! I was so excited...now I can eat whatever. I've been off spinach for over a year and I really like spinach, especially spinach salad. Also, I can eat cranberries again. Perfect timing since Thanksgiving is right around the corner plus I have a wonderful cranberry bread I like to bake. I went to Bible study tonight at church and we eat dinner there. Guess what was there? Spinach in the salad!!! Yummy!!! First time to eat spinach since May 30 2009!!! I will be having the port removed on November 8. I am beginning to feel normal again. What a wonderful feeling. Thanks for your prayers and love.

Doctor's visit with CT Scan results

2010-10-23T14:15:00.000-07:00

Went to see the onocologist on Wednesday. He came into the room with a smile on his face saying that the CT scans were good. However, there is a small nodule on the right lung..Very small. The radiologist was surprised that it was picked up since it was so small. He didn't seem to be too concerned but will check it in a couple of years to be sure all is okay. So, I can have the port-a-cath out. The appointment date for the port removal is Nov. 8!!! It will be done in the surgeon's office. I asked about the blood thinner...not sure which dr. would be the one to take me off the medication. He will take care of it but I have to have a doppler which is a sound wave x-ray over my arm and shoulder to be sure the clot has dissolved. The doppler will be done on Wednesday, Oct. 27. I hope it is clear. It was so wonderful to come out of that cancer center with such fantastic news!!!! Larry and I went out to eat to celebrate!!!! Thank you Lord!!!

I finally found my blow dryer and used it on my hair the other day. I am needing to learn how to fix my hair...curling up at times and looking funky, so I think. Cute in front but funky in back. lol.... Have a wonderful day and thank you, thank you for all your prayers throughout my journey. This journey is about to end....well, sort of. Love you all.....

Cat Scan

2010-10-15T05:02:00.000-07:00

I had two cat scans the other day. One was for the chest and the other for the abdomen/pelvis. This was done to see if there is any cancer. I've not received the results yet but will next week on Wednesday when I see my onocologist. I feel that everything is going to be okay. When they did the cat scan, they had to start an IV on me. I already had blood work earlier that day so was hoping they could use the same vein since it was my best vein. They had a new guy who was going to start my IV. I thought, oh, no....hope he gets it, so kept praying the whole time that he would be able to do it. Well, he didn't but he didn't take it out and the other tech was able to get it in. He said the first guy just wasn't aggressive enough to stick a little further to get into my vein. Didn't hurt.....the tech later thanked me for being patient with the first guy. I told him that I understood since I worked as a nurse and I at one time had to learn too. The barium I had to swallow later made me a little sick with diarrhea and a gurgling tummy. After a few hours, I was okay.

Other than that, I've been doing pretty good. Still trying to decide whether to grow my hair out or not. People keep asking me if I'm going to grow it long or keep it short. Just haven't decided. I'm getting used to it being short, lol but wonder what it would be like again to have long hair. it grows very slow though. Thanks again for checking up on me. I am excited about seeing my doctor again and hoping that I get my port out. Today I have to go get blood work to check for cancer markers and other things. Have a great day...love you all.

coumadin level

2010-10-06T20:12:00.000-07:00

Today I went in for a coumadin level which is to be between 2-3. It was 2.5 which is perfect!!! This is the 4th time to be where it needs to be . I am so happy that we finally have the dosage where it needs to be. I also went to the cancer center to have my port flushed with heparin. I told the nurse that I am hoping that this is the last time for I hope to get my port taken out by next month. Her dad just had his taken out and by the same dr. that I will have. She says that the port is taken out in the doctor's office. I didn't know for sure how it was done so I am glad to hear that so I won't have to go through day surgery. I hate having anesthesia for I get sick every time. I will have a CT Scan next Wednesday then I see the doctor on the 20th of October. Just 2 weeks away!!!

My hair is growing and still curly. I had a several compliments today but it's starting to drive me crazy. Yes , can you believe I actually said that. There is one section that sticks out. I try curling it under with curling iron then hair spraying it. I don't usually have short and curly hair so not sure how to fix it up. I am also trying to decide whether to get a haircut or let it grow out some more. Decisions, decisions. But I am so happy to have hair!!!!

My energy level is the same...some days I am so tired and can fall asleep easily. I read books to the boys during lunch and sometimes I almost fall asleep. They laugh at me. It is funny, I'm sure. Then there are days that I am just fine. Still have joint stiffness so will be glad when port is out so I can take some medication to help. I can't right now since it will interact with the Coumandin that I take.

This past Saturday, my hospital had a "Pink Ribbon Run" for raising funds for our cancer center's educational room. My whole family participated. Most of us walked the mile but Brandon ran the 5K and came in 4th for his age group. It was his first time to run a race. He loved it and is going to run another 5K for Down Syndrome in a couple of weeks. A friend of his ran too and came in first in his age group and 2nd overall. We all got free t-shirts for being in the Pink ribbon run. I am getting quite a collection of pink shirts for being a cancer survivor. lol. Well, thanks for keeping up with me on reading this post. I'm sorry I don't post very often but there just isn't alot to say. Love you all.

Reflection of last year

2010-09-22T04:54:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about what I was doing last year at this time. I was taking chemo and having a hard time keeping up with school with the boys. The boys were good about doing their school work but I was awful in taking the time to grade papers, especially essays, etc. This year I am more organzied and have been keeping up with their papers and school work. It is so nice not to be going off to the doctors and chemo clinic, etc every week. Seems like last year, I had somewhere to go at least once a week and sometimes more. Last year the boys couldn't drive but this year they can so it's nice that I am not going to town very much. I wish Christopher was driving last year but that didn't happen. It was hard to get that drivers ed done so that is something we aren't doing either this year. This year is just a smoother year. I am glad about that.

Another reflection that Larry had. My hair started to grow back at this time so what I have now is a year's worth of hair growth!!! Hard to believe. Since I've not had to use a blow dryer since May 2009, I can't find mine now. lol. I wanted to use it the other day but couldn't find it. I think I put it up somewhere but not sure. Need to do some more looking. Maybe I let my daughter have it but I don't think so.

I bought some medications over the counter to help with the joint stiffness but found out that it will interact with my blood thinner, Coumadin, so I can't take it. Bummer. Hopefully I will be off Coumadin by Novemeber so will save the medication until I can use it. Well, life is definitely much better for me this year!!!! I am looking forward to going to the mountains with my mom this weekend. What fun---just mom and daughter time. Love you all....

Coumadin check and flush

2010-09-11T17:22:00.000-07:00

This past Thursday, I had a coumadin level done. It was 2.8 which is on the higher end of "normal" so all is great. I get to go another whole month before being tested again. This is great news. One thing I've done different to help my level is to quit drinking green tea. I didn't realize that can hurt your level. No problem, I've not had green tea since I learned about the effects of green tea on coumadin levels. I was only drinking it since I knew it was suppose to be good for you. lol..Oh, well, I'll start back on it when I quit taking the coumadin. After having my level checked, I went downstairs to the cancer center to have my port-a-cath flushed with heparin to keep it open in case I need it later. Was nice to walk in the chemo clinic knowing that I only had to stay for a few minutes. They weren't busy at all so the nurse had everything ready when I walked in. I think I was there for about 5-10 minutes. Luckily, the port was just fine. I will go again in a month to have the port flushed.

Everything is going pretty much the same. It 's kinda of weird but I seem to notice the numbness in my breast area more lately. Not sure why but I do. Seems that I am shaving my legs more too so guess my hair is growing better. lol. I bought a sticker for my car--one of the pink ribbon ones that says Breast Cancer Awareness. I saw one today at the store that says survivor. I would have liked that one better but it's okay. Hope everyone is doing fine. Thank you for continuing to check up on me. Love you all......by the way, I've not tried bowling lately...not sure I will for a long time. lol.

Bowling experience

2010-09-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

Things are going fairly well. My hair is growing very slow but it's at a cute length so am happy with it. Not sure if I will grow it out long or not. Wish it would stay curly but I've heard that once it gets cut, that I will eventually lose the curls. My joint pain is less these days. Still have some trouble especially when I want to bend down to pick something up off the ground/floor. A couple of weeks ago, I took my kids bowling and decided I would bowl too. What a mistake.....I could hardly bowl. I like to bend down to roll the ball but I couldn't do it well at all. I was so sore the next couple of days. I guess bowling is out for me......just can't bend down low at all. It was the worse score I've done in years. I'm sure the kids wanted to laugh out loud but they were kind enough not to laugh or make remarks. I'm sure I looked funny trying to figure out how to bowl without bending much. lol. Hope you are all doing great. My brother in law who had the prostate cancer got a good report the other day....his PSA was less than 1 which is wonderful. He is cancer free!!!!! I will be getting a coumadin level check next week plus my port flushed with heparin. The only other complaint I have had is that there are times when my breast where I had the cancer feels heavy and painful in the morning when I wake up. During the day, I have no problems. Thanks for keeping up with me and I'm sorry I've not written in quite a while. Just not much to report on. Love you....

Last Treatment

2010-08-11T11:24:00.001-07:00

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, rejoice!

Monday was a grand day for me!!! Had my last Herceptin treatment and boy, was I excited. I was to be there at 11 for Brandon had a doctor's appt. at 9:30 and I wanted to be sure there was plenty of time for his appt. Well, Brandon got in and out very quickly so there I was at 10 am and right next door to the cancer center so I called and they said I could come in early. Larry had planned to be with me while I had the last treatment. He had not seen the new chemo clinic. So, I messed up his plans but I told him not to worry for it usually takes 1 1/2 hours to have my treatment. He planned to come over at 10:30 but got stuck in his office with one of his employees and wasn't able to get away until 11. And wouldn't you know that of all days, my treatment was done in only 1 hour. I walked out of the chemo clinic and Larry was driving into the parking lot. Sorry Larry....I made chocolate chip cookies for the nurses and staff which they appreciated. Also, I talked to them about buying a fish for their tank so they told me where to go buy one for the owner of this shop cleans their tank and knows the fish that is in the tank already. I will do that soon. I always enjoyed watching the fish. After my treatment was done, Larry and I went out to lunch at Olive Garden with some friends to celebrate!!!! What fun we had. Our waitress was someone we all knew and she gave us lots of extra mints afterwards and those are my favorite mints. (Andes mint). Larry ended up taking the rest of the day off so after he got home, we spent time together playing cards. Sarah joined us for a couple of games. Had a nice relaxing day. It is hard to believe I am done with all the IV treatments. Went through 15 months of treatments. I will have to go back in a month to have my port flushed with heparin but that takes just a minute to do. Will go there when I have my next coumadin level checked since it's all in the same building. I will see the doctor on Oct. 20 after I have some cat scans. Thanks to all of you who have followed my journey and have prayed for me all these months. Thanks , Mom, for all you've done for me. God has used this journey to draw me closer to Him and to others. He has delivered me from cancer and I give him all the praise and glory for that. I know He has been there every moment helping me get through this tough time. He gave me the peace I needed to navigate through this journey. What a wonderful feeling that was to have that peace, knowing that God is with me and that He knows what is best for me even though I may not understand why I had to go through this journey. All I had to do was lean on him and trust Him for all things. I hope I passed the test....:). Love you all...... (oh, I will have a hamburger cookout this Sat. around 6 pm...welcome to come...just let me know)

Isaiah 48:17 This is what the Lord says: I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.

coumadin level

2010-08-07T05:24:00.001-07:00

Psalm 145:3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no on can fathom.

Sorry that I've not written in quite a while. I had a coumadin level check yesterday and it was perfect at 2.5!!! That was the first time to have it checked a month later so again, I get to wait for another month to have it checked. I am so happy about the level check. I also had blood drawn at the cancer center. I am to have Herceptin on Monday...my last treatment. Since it is my last treatment, I want to celebrate. First I thought we would just go out for dinner but now I am thinking of having a party at my house and invite my neighbors who helped out and some others who helped out and supported us. And if any of you live nearby, you are invited too. I will have it on saturday....august 14 in the evening. I am trying to think of what I can do for a memorable favor thing. Not sure yet. I am going to bake cookies for the nurses at chemo center and I want to buy a fish for their salt water fish tank. I went to Petco to check on what fishes they have so thinking of getting them a clown fish. I would get it on Monday except my son has a dr. appt before I go have my Herceptin so wouldn't be wise do that plus store doesn't open that early. I will ask to be sure it's okay to buy a fish and then do it shortly afterwards. I am doing great these days besides my "chemo brain". I still have joint stiffness and neuropathy in toes but other than that I am okay. Oh, sometimes I have the fatigue too. The other day we went on a field trip to see some painted rocks (Indian pictographs) and when the lady was talking, I was falling asleep and this was at 10 am. I was so embarrassed for what she said was interesting but I just do that at times. Well, thank you so much for keeping up with my journey...it's close to the end. Guess I can't say it's really over until I see the CT Scans in October but treatments are ending. Praise the Lord. I will say that the only thing I regret about my journey is the fact that I didn't have good church family at the time. I went to a church for 20 years that was family and they would have been right there for me (a couple were and they did pray for whenever I see someone like at the store, they ask how things are going with my treatments). But we had left that church 3 1/2 years prior to my having cancer then we were at a small church that would have been helpful but left it 1 1/2 years prior to the cancer. The church I go to now is large and even though some knew, they just weren't there to help out except one lady but I have known her for years through homeschooling. I really wish I had been in a better church but God used others like neighbors and friends and family to be my support group and I had to rely on Him so much more too. And my out of town friends were so encouraging with words, emails, cards, phone calls, prayers, etc. It all worked out so am thankful.....Love you all.

Psalm 145:7 They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

Doctor visit and Herceptin treatment

2010-07-23T12:05:00.000-07:00

Psalm 118: 24 This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

I wrote this yesterday but somehow I lost all that I wrote so am redoing it today. I was too tired yesterday to redo it then. Anyway, I went to the onocologist this past Monday. Talked with his nurse practioner too. My heart test that I had a couple of weeks ago was great. Shows that my heart hasn't changed at all from the first one which is great news. However, I did have a disappointment. I was hoping to have my port taken out after the last herceptin treatment which is on August 9. But, the doctor says I have to wait until I have a CT Scan of my abdomen, pelvis, and chest which won't be done until mid October. Then I see the doctor again on Oct. 20. If the CT Scan is good, no cancer evident, then I can have the port taken out. That means I have to continue taking coumadin for a few more months...oh, well....that is okay. Since I won't be having any treatments in Sept. or Oct., I will have to go to the chemo clinic to have a heparin flush to keep the port working. Heparin is a blood thinner and is use to keep lines open. They flush with heparin after each of my treatments. Guess I will be having surgery in Novemeber to have the port taken out (at least I hope). I talked to the nurse practioner about my joint stiffness. She says it is mainly from chemo. Could be some from getting older and some early arthritis but mainly from chemo. I have the joint stiffness mainly in the morning when I get up, when I get out of a chair, and especially when I get out of the car. I am sure people laugh at me when I go to Walmart or some store, and can't even stand up straight when I get out of the car. I must look like a old woman....lol.

I also had my herceptin treatment after seeing the doctor. It was going well which was good for I needed to hurry because I was babysitting that afternoon. Well, I had a float nurse who doesn't usually work there. My medicaton quit infusing but my nurse was starting an IV on a patient. Most patients have ports but once in a while, someone needs an IV started. Well, my nurse had trouble so I couldn't get her to fix my medicatin and wouldn't you know, the other nurse was also starting an IV. Then my nurse took off (maybe to lunch) so it was over 30 minutes before I could get someone to fix my medication. I was frustrated for it only takes 3o mintues for my medication to infuse and here it was....an extra 30 minutes. Usually it wouldn't bother me but that day I was in a hurry...oh, well....there was nothing I could do. I just have one more treatment left. Yea!!!

My hair is looking pretty good these days. I am getting used to short hair...um..maybe I should keep it short. Ummm....lol. We'll see...I am just happy to have hair. That was one of the hardest things about my cancer. For a woman, that is hard. Thanks to all for you love and interest in how I am doing. Thanks for your prayers. Love you all..

Psalm 118:28-29 You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Hair

2010-07-12T18:08:00.000-07:00

Here is how my hair looks now. This is how it looks naturally....I just let it dry on own without blow drying or using a curling iron.

Great week

2010-07-11T16:57:00.000-07:00

Romans 5:3 We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope.

This past week has been a good one for me. I had my last 2D echo heart test done this past Tuesday. I am sure all is okay...heart sounded good and I could see it pumping on the screen as she was testing my heart. Also, on Friday, I had a coumadin level check and it was great--2.6!!! (needs to be between 2.0-3.0) I finally get to have one month checks ---yea!!! I have my next Herceptin treatment on July 20 which is coming up soon. I have been feeling pretty good these days. My hair is growing and looking pretty nice these days. I am getting to like it short...nice on these hot summer days. However, I still would like for it to grow longer to see what it will look like.

The only problem is my husband's health. He's having heart spasms that occur at times and makes him faint or have dizzy spells. The doctors can't figure out yet what is the cause of these spasms. He almost fainted yesterday in HEB. Just pray that they will find the cause so they will be able to treat his problems. Every time he does some exercise or activity using his arms, he seems to have these spells. He played Wii golf the other day and now the spells. Poor guy....I ended up having to finish mowing the lawn today since he started to have a spell again. Thanks for your prayers.

I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.

Doing well

2010-07-01T07:10:00.000-07:00

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I am so sorry that I've not posted in quite a while. I am feeling much better these days. My fatigue is even better....still get tired at times but not like it was. Praise the Lord. I had Herceptin this past Monday (June 28) and all went well. The nurse scared me though for she had trouble getting a blood return from my port. They always check to be sure the port is working by pulling back the syringe to see if blood comes out of the port. They have never had any problems with my port. So, here it is near the end of my treatments and I thought my port was acting up. The nurse decided that the needle was next to the edge. She finally got some blood back so all is well. I have only 2 more Herceptin treatments left. Yea!!! I plan to have my port taken out when the treatments are done so that means I will have to have surgery to have it removed. It will be simple and a day surgery procedure but I hate having surgery. Oh, well.....

My hair is growing. The front is finally down to the bottom of my ear lobes. It's somewhat curly in the back but I hear that it's like baby hair and will grow straight after awhile. I will get someone to take a picture of me soon so I can post it and you can see it. I am liking it much better.

We have a horse and the farrier came out last week to shoe the horse's hooves. Turns out he has rectal cancer and we have the same doctor so we enjoyed conversing about our cancer and treatments, etc. He wears a pump to have his chemo infusing all day long for 5 days in a row. He is doing this for 6 weeks. It doesn't make him sick so he just carries on like usual but he gets tired. My brother-in-law just has a few days left of his radiation treatments so I know he will be happy to have that behind him. Hopefully all is well. I think he'll have a PSA test soon but not sure about that.

I still have problems with chemo brain (so they call it) where I can't always come up with the correct word or name of things. My kids tell me that I am just getting old but I know that it is from the chemo because I wasn't that bad before cancer. Oh, well....it's not too bad so I won't complain.

Tonight is our breast cancer support meeting but not sure I will go or not. I learn some things there but really find it hard to meet people there. It's a rainy day here and I don't have to go to town, so it will be real easy just to stay home. I've been busy this summer babysitting some kids so not home alot. Thanks for checking up on me. Love you all.....Keep praying for me!!

Galatian 6:2a Carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

coumadin level, heat problems

2010-06-18T19:49:00.001-07:00

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Went today for a coumadin level check and it was fantastic for once. The level was 2.4!!! Finally got the level to where it needs to be. I don't have to go back for another 3 weeks. The newest thing I've been doing is trying to lose weight. I am doing this mainly by cutting out the desserts and snacks. I've lost 6 pounds so far, however, I went out to eat today. I tried to be somewhat good so we'll see tomorrow if I gained weight or not. I'm so bad about losing then gaining it all back in one meal. I am surprised that I've been doing great without any sweets since I have such a sweet tooth. No cravings yet so I am feeling good about it. I gained weight during chemo time and just trying to get through cancer treatments. Guess I just ate whatever. :) Then I gained alot when my dad got cancer and died---too many sweets around. Time to lose weight.

I have a little job this summer which is keeping me busy. I take my neighbor's 2 kids to the pool and this past week I took them to tennis camp then to the pool. Yesterday we were outside from 10 am to 4 pm. I got home and started to feel really bad---had chills, muscle aches and a headache. I went outside to warm up and still had chill bumps when Larry came home. I felt really exhausted too but somehow was able to manage to fix dinner but right after I ate, I laid down and took a long nap. When I woke up, I felt really hot and took my temp---100.3. I think I had some kind of heat exhaustion. I'm going to have to be more careful---drink more water. I was also sunburned....I was in the shade all day and didnt' feel hot but guess I should be sure to use sunscreen and drink lots and lots of water.

Today was the first time someone looked at my driver's license and noticed that my hair is different. It happened at Walmart. The cashier asked what happened to my long hair. So I told her. Her mom had chemo 3 times and each time her hair came back darker and curlier. Well, I hope this is the only time I have to have chemo. Well, thanks for your love and support and prayers. Love you all......

Roman 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

New cancer clinic & dr's visit

2010-06-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

I Chronicles 16:10-11 Glory in his Holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. look to the Lord and his strength, seek his face always.

I went to see my onocologist on Monday and all my blood work looked great. I am nearing the end of my treatments....yea.....August 9 will be my last Herceptin treatment. I will have one more echocardiogram to be sure my heart is still doing okay. After I have my last treatment, I won't have to have another heart test so the one in July will be last one. It is good to be seeing the end of the tunnel.

I had Herceptin on Monday too. The chemo clinic is much larger. There is an actual nurse's station. Before, they were just in the middle of the room. The only bad thing I think about having the nurses station at one end of the chemo clinic is that they can't watch all their patients well. What if someone is having a bad time, they are far off. There are no call buttons so you couldn't call for help. Of course, someone is always having to do something for someone so there is someone around usually. The floor is wooden looking..and there are about 14 chairs and each has their own TV that is on a arm thing that you can move to the side or wherever...it is kept behind the chairs when not used. The screen is small but that is okay. Of course, the nurses now can't watch TV like they did before. lol. There is plenty of space for the aquarium which is placed in the middle so we can see the fish. There are nice chairs next to each recliner chair so each person can have a visitor and there is room for more than one visitor. And you can see that they have new organizers for all their equipement and it's handy for the nurses. They also have a room with a bed in case they have a patient too weak to sit in a chair. They haven't had that before. They have their own pharmacist too but they had that in the first one too but I'm sure it's much nicer.

They have 7 exam rooms for the doctor--there were only 3 before. Plenty of room for another doctor to come. The nurses station for the doctor is much larger and nicer too. The nurses seem quite pleased with all the new stuff.

Thanks for praying for me. I am feeling about the same...get tired easily, some hot flashes and slow hair growth. The numbness in toes and breast areas drive me crazy at times but I just have to get used to it. lol. All in all, I'm going great!!!! Praise God!!! Love you all.

Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then , you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Coumadin level

2010-06-05T08:51:00.001-07:00

Isaiah 12:5 Sing to the Lord for He has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world.

I had my coumadin level checked yesterday. Finally it has gotten to the level it needs to be but it's at 2.0 which is at the low end. I need to be between 2.0-3.0 so the head nurse decided to up my dosage just a tad bit to try to get me in the middle. I got scratched today by a kitten and it bled easily so guess my blood thinner is working.

The doctors' building where my onocologist, chemo clinic, and coumadin clinic is located has been under construction--building on a whole new section. (Three stories). The first story in the new area is the new cancer clinic. It is now complete so I got to go there yesterday to have blood drawn since I have a doctor's appt and herceptin on Monday. I haven't seen the whole clinic yet but what i have seen, I was quite impressed. The waiting room is 10 sizes bigger!!! It even has a fridge with drinks that you can help yourself and crackers and the TV is bigger. Each receptionist has their own desk and a huge area behind them for the copy machine, etc. The area is about 5-6 times bigger than they had before. The lab tech had her little area in the store room before and now she has her own room with the sign "Lab" on the door (she mentioned that to me). I peeked into the chemo clinic and saw that it was bigger and I hear that at each chair, there is a TV for each person. I will let you know more when I go there on Monday. Can't wait to see the rest of the area. I know they are so happy to have the new space and there is space to add another doctor which is what my doctor wants. While the construction was going on, the chemo clinic had to move downstairs in a very tiny area so they have been cramped for several months so I am sure they are happy to be in the new area. I figured that I have 4 more Herceptin treatments left to enjoy this new area. They should have their own pharmacist again which will make things go faster.

I have been busy grading papers and doing report cards for the past week or so. I didn't realize how behind I was until I started grading....way behind. Then I realized that this has been a tough school year with me having chemo, then radiation and living in San Antonio, then my dad getting cancer and dying. Three major things in one school year!!! But we made it and all papers are graded and report cards done along with updating transcripts!! Whew....now I can begin to enjoy summer!!! Praise God!!!

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

Relay for Life

2010-05-29T13:57:00.000-07:00

Lamentations 3:58 O Lord, you took up my case; you redeemed my life.

Last week, I participated in our town's relay for life. It was a very awesome and emotional experience for me. When I was walking the survivor lap which was the first lap, people just kept clapping and clapping the whole time we were walking. I would say that about half way around, I got quite teary eyed. It was neat to think, yes, we survived and these people are clapping for us as we've been victorious in this battle!!!! I just can't describe exactly what I was feeling. I just praise God for allowing me to be here today. As we finished our lap, we had balloons and let go of them....so cool to see all those balloons up in the air. Our caregivers joined us as we walked the 2nd lap. Larry and I walked hand in hand. I am so thankful that Larry was there to care for me throughout my battle. Wish my kids had been there too for they helped care for me along with my sister and mom. I walked the 3rd lap too with my friend, Teresa. Everyone was invited to walk that 3rd lap. Teresa was walking with her team until 9 pm so I would get off and rest then rejoin her and a team mate. I walked 7 laps. There was a tent in the middle of the field for survivors that had free food for us ....fruit, muffins, and cookies plus water and other drinks. That was so sweet of them. We stayed until about 10 pm....needed to go home for we left to go to San Antonio the next morning to see my nephew, Chris, graduate from high school !!!

This past week, I've struggled with fatigue. I don't know if the heat has made it worse or what but it has been hard on some days. Not so bad today though. Also, I've noticed the numbness I have in my toes more. I noticed it when my chemo was finishing (it is a side effect from chemo) but didn't notice it so much during the winter. Maybe it was because I was wearing enclosed shoes all the time whereas I am now barefoot or in sandals or flip flops. It really feels weird.

My hair is growing so slow. I even notice that the hair on my legs and underarms grow slow too. I don't shave often like I used to before chemo. Wonder if the cancer pill I take causes it to slow down. Should investigate that one. Also, the numbness in my left upper breast seems more noticeable ....drives me crazy sometimes at night. I know , that sounds weird but that is the way it is. I just have to live with it .......:). It's okay....I am happy to be here and it's not painful so no reason to complain or worry about it. It's just a part of my 'new' life. I am looking forward to this summer since last summer I was going through chemo and missed out on 'summer' in some ways. I am enjoying "gardening" and just look forward to spending time with friends, etc. I have a little part time job--taking my neighbor's kids to the swimming pool. There are big shade trees there so I will sit underneath those trees and try to stay cool. I don't plan to get in the pool though. Hope everyone is having a great weekend. In fact, last Memorial Day, I was in the hospital with a blood clot in my shoulder area behind my port. Wow, it's nearly been a year when that happened. That is when I started taking coumadin.

Love you all......thanks for your concerns and love and prayers. Let me know if I can pray for you!!!

James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Relay for Life and Coumadin level

2010-05-21T13:18:00.000-07:00

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Went for my coumadin level today and it was still low. What's up? The tech thought that maybe it's because I am healthier now so need a higher dose. Maybe while taking chemo and radiation, my body just didnt' need much of the medication. So, my dosage went up. I even ate less green vegetables to see if that would help but guess it didn't . Guess I could go back to eating salads. Maybe it's because I've gained weight. OH, well....we'll see how the higher dose works. I go back in 2 weeks to have the level checked again.

Relay for Life in our town starts tonight!!!! I am going to walk the survivor lap and then caregivers join the survivors on the 2nd lap. My best friend is walking too with others from where she works so I'll join her too and walk some more. I am excited about this!!! Wish my kids would join me but alas, they could care less....teenagers!!! :) One has a good excuse...going on a boy scout campout tonight on land near our land.

Thanks again for you love and concern on my condition. You are all so sweet to check on me. I am feeling pretty good except the fatigue that I experience quite frequently. If I can get in a nap, then I do just great.

Psalm 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life.

Herceptin

2010-05-17T11:45:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 29 :11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Today I received herceptin. Just 3 more months then I will be done with the herceptin. Can't wait. Everything went well....My blood pressure was fantastic and they got my medicine quickly so I wasn't there too long. The clinic where I take my Herceptin and had chemo had to move to a smaller space back in the late summer or so for they are adding on to the building. All of the cancer stuff will be on the first floor and all together. It should open the first part of June so when I go get my next herceptin and have my doctor's appt. I will get to be in the new building. I go on June 7. I hear that it's much bigger than the old one and of course lots bigger than the area they have had to be in while waiting. I'm glad I will get to have treatments in the new building.

My hair is growing and getting quite wavy. It's thick too. Will be glad when it's much longer but am happy that I have hair. Still can't do much with it though. I am so tired today...not sure why. Might take a nap here soon. I tried to sleep while getting herceptin but noisy there.

My brother-in-law started his radiation last week. I am thinking that today will be his 3rd day.

It was a year ago when I had my first chemo treatment---May 19!!! So hard to believe that a year has gone by. I was listening to a couple of ladies talk about their chemo treatments while I was receiving my herceptin. Brought back memories...and not the happy ones either. I am glad that part of my life is over. I am so thankful for all of you who prayed for me during those days. I couldn't have made it without those prayers. This Friday is the relay for life and I am excited about walking the survivor lap. Come on out and watch---at 7 pm at the university's track stadium. Love you all.....

Jeremiah 17:7 But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and neveer fails to bear fruit.

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T05:46:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms who read my blog. I am so thankful that I am here to celebrate another Mother's Day. Last year, at this time, I was getting ready to start chemo...had surgery for port placement a few days before. I remember thinking that I hope to celebrate many more Mother's Day so here is the first Mother's Day after surviving cancer!!!! Praise the Lord!! I hope each of you that are mom's have a great Mother's Day too. Happy Mother's Day to my own mom. She has been a great supporter through my whole journey with cancer. Love you Mom....I appreciate all the wonderful things you have done for me....going with me to chemo, taking care of me afterwards, the phone calls and emails always checking up on me, faithfully reading my blog, the sweet gifts, going with me to pick up boys from Worldview camp (that was a fun trip), praying, and just loving on me. I love you , Mom.

I had a coumadin level done on Friday. It was still low but a tad bit higher than the previous level. It was 1.8. The nurse was afraid to increase my dosage except she just increased Friday's dose. She thinks that they are checking it too much and should give it time for the higher doses to catch up in my body. We just can't figure out why it's low. I am now wondering if that new cancer medication is the reason. I started that in Feb. I will ask the next time I go which will be in 2 weeks. I worked all day yesterday cleaning my house which really tired me out and today I feel so stiff. Didn't do anything that strenous so not sure why my body feels like I've gone on a hike. lol. My hair is growing so slowly but at least I have hair and it's thick. It seems before cancer that my hair was fast growing for I was always needing to cut my bangs. It has grown so won't complain. I am trying to learn not to complain about my hair....I am happy that I have some.

I think that my brother-in-law starts his radiation treatments this next week. He is ready to get it started and going so he can be done with it. Thanks for all your prayers and support. Love you all. Again....Happy Mother's Day. And to the ones who aren't moms yet and to the ones who are moms, tell your mom that you love them.

Proverbs 31:29-31 Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

brother in law

2010-05-03T06:45:00.000-07:00

Psalm 37: 3-5 Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this.

Sorry I haven't written in a week. The days went by so fast last week; or so it seemed. lol. I've been feeling pretty good but just still battling with fatigue. I'm afraid it's something that I will have to battle with for awhile. I'm sure many of you can relate for some time or other in your life, you've had that same battle whether from pregnancy, raising kids, sickness, etc. You just make yourself go on when there are things to do. The only medical thing I have this week is a coumadin level on Friday. I hope it's good this time.

My brother-in-law whose prostate cancer is not completely gone will be having 38 radiation treatments--hopefully starting next week. Apparently there isn't a problem with the skin burning like in breast cancer for they go in deeper. Lucky him--I'm glad he doesn't have to deal with that. It will be just an annoyance in having to go in to do the treatments every day plus it ruined their vacation plans that they had already made. What a bum deal for him and family but his boys were so good about it for they said they would rather have their dad than the vacation. I just pray that the radiation gets all the cancer this time.

I had been praying for a lady named Paula who had ovarian cancer. I don't know her personally but knew her brother back in high school. He and I had just gotten connected on facebook when his sister was diagnosed and they had a blog thing on facebook--called a group page--Praying for Paula. I sent her several scriptures that helped me during my battle with cancer and encouraging words. She really had a tough time for the cancer had spread and she fought courageously and had lots of strength and faith but she passed away this past week. I was deeply touched by it for some reason and cried. I know she is better off now for she won't have to suffer anymore. Made me realize how fortunate I was that I didn't have to face the hard things that she had to go through. Also , a good friend of mine, Heather (hi Heather) lost a good friend of hers about the same time to cancer. He had been battling his cancer for years. I had prayed for him too.....he isn't suffering anymore either. These losses made me really think hard about cancer and how lucky I am. Thanks to all of you who have prayed for me. Our town is having a Relay for Life (a fundraiser for cancer) on May 21. I will be there....walking the survivor walk and thinking about the people I know who have lost their lives to cancer. Come and walk or at least go to the Relay for Life if you live in our town or whenever your town has one. It's a worthy cause!!!! I went last year just to see what it was all about....enjoyed the speeches of people who had cancer...what inspirations they were. Two of them died this past year too. How sad.....

II Thessalonians 2:16 May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

Doctor's visit

2010-04-26T13:54:00.000-07:00

Psalm 118: 28-29 You are my God and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Today was a busy medical day for me. First I went to the coumadin clinic to have my level checked and it was still at 1.7 which is low. It's only been a week and there was no change so they increased my level again. I go back in 1 1/2 weeks this time. Then I went to the onocologist. A lady doctor walked in, Dr. Reddy, (looks like from India) and I thought maybe they have a new doctor. I knew he was wanting a doctor to help out but it turns out that my regular onocologist is on a medical mission trip to Kenya, Africa. That is cool!!!! Dr. Reddy was just taking over while is is gone. I wonder how long he'll be gone...forgot to ask. Anyway, the doctor was really nice. In fact, she said that I should have my breasts examined every 4 months by a doctor. I haven't had that done so she checked it for me and she found nothing. Praise God!!! My bone density test was good and my cancer markers were good too. Also, my heart test was good so everything but coumadin was good today!!!! Praise God again!!! I went down to the chemo clinc and had Herceptin given. It was the quickest time ever!!! I was thrilled about that. My main problem is fatigue...the nurses tell me I should rest more. Oh, yea....I get myself too busy at times. lol. There are times I stop to take a power nap. Should get in a habit of going to bed earlier--maybe that would help. lol. Oh, well.....thanks for your prayers. Love you all......

Psalm 118:24 This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

coumadin level

2010-04-19T18:35:00.000-07:00

John 14:1 Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.

I went for my coumadin level today and it was low again. She questioned me about why it could be so low and we could not come up with anything so she increased my dose. It was 1.7 which is what it was the last time. Needs to be in the 2's. A low number means that my blood is thicker than it needs to be which increases my chances for blood clots. Will be checked again next Monday. I was really tired today so took 2 small naps---one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I had a hard time driving this morning due to being so tired. I woke up why too early and couldn't go back to sleep so that may be why I am so tired plus the Arimidex makes me tired. Ugh....I hate that tired feeling. However, I was productive today and got lots of cleaning done so the little naps helped tremendously.

This afternoon I found out that my brother-in-law's PSA test was not good. After having his prostate surgery, the PSA result should be 0 and it was a 3. The doctor is recommending radiation treatment. He is young--in upper 40's. I am glad they found it since men usually don't have the test until they are in their 50's. Please pray along with me that the radiation will kill off all cancer cells. His name is Jim. My family has had a tough time with cancer....not sure why but we will trust God in all things and give Him thanks for what He will do!!! He is an awesome God!!! Thanks for all your love and prayers. Tomorrow is my heart test. Hope it all is well...so far it's been good!!!!

Job 2:10b Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?

survivor

2010-04-18T07:18:00.000-07:00

Luke 17:19 Then he said to him, "Rise and go, your faith has made you well."

I had my lumpectomy a year ago on April 14 so technically I can say I have been cancer free for a year, for when they did the surgery, all of the cancer was taken out at that time!!!! I am truly a one year survivor. Praise God!!! I was at Walmart the other day and ran into one of my chemo nurses who saw me first and called me by name. Oh, yes....I go to the chemo clinic often enough that they know me by my name. lol. I used to be an onocologist nurse back in 1981 when I first got into nursing. I got to thinking how nice it must be for a chemo nurse like Brenda (who I saw at Walmart) to see one of your patients in the store and doing so well. When I was an onocologist nurse, I had so many patients die that it was quite sad. I am so thrilled to be a survivor!!! I hope to live many more years.

I have a busy medical week this coming week. I have a coumadin level check tomorrow on Monday, a heart test on Tuesday and then blood work to check out my cancer markers on Wednesday. Next Monday on April 26, I see the doctor and also receive herceptin again. I've gained weight so should try to lose it before seeing the doctor. lol. Yikes.....

I haven't taken down all my cards yet, doing it slowly and everytime I take a card down and reread it, floods of memories come rushing forth. You all have been sweet with your encouraging words and love....thanks. Have a great day.

Philippians 1:3 I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you , I always pray with joy.....

radiation area

2010-04-12T18:53:00.000-07:00

I Chronicles 16:10-11 Glory in His Holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and His strength; seek his face always.

Not much going on but did notice the other day that the radiated area on my breast has changed color on the bottom portion to a slight purplish red color. Not sure why.....more noticeable. It usually doesn't show but hope the rest doesn't turn like that. Will keep my eye on it to see what happens. The rest of the area is a slight tannish color--like I got a tan (well, it was burned--lol and now tanned).

I haven't heard yet about my bone density test. I thought I would have heard something by now. Hope it's okay. Since it's been a year since my diagnosis, I decided it's time to start taking down the cards I had received throughout this journey of cancer. Everytime I got a card, I had taped it on a door or wall where I could see them and be encouraged. I received so many---especially from my chemo angel, AnnMarie---thanks my sweet angel!!! :) It is fun to reread them. I have taken down about 10 cards...more to go!!! Oh, my...I'm having a hot flash right now. I hate those hot flashes....getting so sweaty too!!!! Oh, well...that is a part of my life and I know many women have them. Thanks to all of you for loving me and caring for me.

Oh, my hair is growing and people comment all the time on how cute it is short. Are they crazy??? I have all these funny cowlicks so my hair sticks up and looks weird. I can't wait for it to grow lots more. There is one good thing about the short hair though....the wind doesn't mess it up much and it has been windy quite a bit. lol.

I Thessalonians 5:16 Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus!!!

Herceptin & coumadin level

2010-04-08T19:08:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 29:11 I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

On Monday I had my coumadin level. It was low--1.7 which means my blood wasn't thin enough. I haven't been eating the way I normally do due to caring for a sick father and then dealing with his death. Hopefully it will get better now that I can start eating my normal foods. It is amazing how getting off your diet can really mess up your system. I've also gained weight due to eating way too many sweets. I usually do not have desserts at my house every day or even often but when people sentdover food, they like to send desserts too. It was tasty, but now I really need to start exercising more and eating less.

I had my Herceptin also on Monday. Of all days, they got so behind on everything. I had to wait quite awhile at the coumadin clinic. I got skipped for the tech didn't see my name and they were short a person. Then at the cancer clinic, the pharmacist went to a meeting right before my order for herceptin orders were faxed over. I had to wait extra time and that particular day, I had my boys with me which is unusual plus I needed to go help my stepmom and her kids pack her up to move. Oh, well...those things happen.

I have worked hard this week helping pack up my stepmom's house. I am so exhausted but now I can start to rest.....lol...well, some rest anyway. My stepmom has left to go to Indiana for a few months and all her stuff is stored Now I need to clean my own home and reorganize it since I have some of her stuff to store and some of it to keep. I am also itching to work in my yard to plant flowers. I didn't get to do all I wanted to do last spring due to getting cancer and having chemo and now I had my dad's cancer to deal with it. But, hopefully I can find some time soon to work in the yard.

I cant' remember if I told you all that my husband has skin cancer. He had minor surgery for it and found out yesterday that they think they got it all. Yea !!! He was worried that they would have to go back in and take out more since he had this cancer for over a year. I hope we won't hear the word cancer from anyone else for a long time!!!! I am so tired of it. I think....surely, God, this is enough. I don't think I can take anymore but then I realize that God knows what I can take so I will just have to keep trusting in Him.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever for the Lord, teh Lord is the Rock eternal.

mammogram

2010-04-03T05:50:00.000-07:00

Psalm 66:1 Shout with joy to God, all the earth!! Sing the glory of his name, make his praise glorious.

I received my mammorgram results the other day ---the test showed no signs of cancer!!! Praise the Lord!!! What a way to start out the month of April!!! I am praying that this month will be a good month. I don't think I like March!!! lol.

My dad's memorial service was yesterday. It was very nice. He was cremated and we received his ashes on Thursday night. My step and half brothers went to get them and when they walked in the house, my stepmom bursted out in tears but before long my stepbrother made a funny comment and she laughed. We made a big deal of putting my dad's ashes in the urn. You are probably wondering what the ashes came in. The ashes are in a bag and the bag was in a dark colored box which then was placed in a cardboard box. We took the bag out and put the whole bag with ashes into the urn which my stepmom bought at Hobby Lobby. My stepbrother said" Okay, Dad, here is your new home" Of course, I know that it's just his body in ashes for really he is in heaven with God now. We sealed the urn with roofing sealant (my stepbrother owns a roofing company). I don't know where she'll keep the urn especially as she is going home with her daughter for the summer. We now will be busy packing up the rest of the house and putting her stuff into storage until she decides where she wants to live. I am getting her backyard stuff today (she has tons of it) to store at my house. I am going to make a "memory" garden with her stuff.

At the service, I found out that my cousin, Randy's, wife had pancreatic cancer 15 years ago and she is one of the 10% who survived for it was caught very, very early. Her dentist could tell by her jaw bone that something was amiss for she was losing bone in her jaw. He strongly encouraged her to see her dr. and she did and they ran tests and found the cancer. Isn't that amazing. So, guess we better be sure to see our dentists faithfully. I already do for I have gum disease so I am encouraging the rest of you to do the same. And don't forget to get your mammograms done too. Praying that you all have a Happy Easter!!! Love you all!! Happy Easter to my mom, & sister, Marcy, KK, Deja, Stephanie, Melissa, Ann Marie, Kay, Lisa, and all the others who follow my blog.

I Corinthians 1:18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God!!!

Father

2010-03-31T06:28:00.001-07:00

I Thessalonians 4:13 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

I am so sorry I've not written in several days. I've been very busy helping to care for my father during his last days. He passed away yesterday--March 30--after several hours of intense suffering. However, in his last days, he did some funny things that we'll have fond memories of. I wrote in my last blog of some of those things and then on Monday he wanted to watch the car race so we got him in a recliner chair and he wanted to wear his youngest son's baseball hat so he did. I wish I had taken a picture--it was quite cute. There will be a memorial service for him on Friday so keep us in your prayers as we go through that. My stepmom not only lost her husband but she loses her home too and possibly have to start a whole new life in a new town which mean she loses her friends and church too. We have lots of the her house already packed up but there will be more packing this weekend and her stuff will be stored in a storage place until she decides exactly where she'll be. I will be storing her outdoor stuff--she has tons of stuff--at my place. I will really miss my father and stepmom since I went to their house quite often since they lived in town and I live in the country--their house was my in-town home.

I had my first mammogram since being diagnosed with cancer. I don't know the results yet. But I had forgotten that they put clips in my breast where the tumor was taken out. The tech let me see the pictures showing my clips. I have 6 clips inside. I also had a bone density test. Hope everything comes out okay. I'll keep you posted. I am to have Herceptin next week. Thanks for your prayers and concern.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Anniversary

2010-03-26T06:28:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 12:4 Give thanks to the Lord , call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that His name is exalted.

One year ago on this day, I was diagnosed with breast cancer!!! I am now a one year survivor!!! Praise God! It's not a year I would like to repeat but God was with me every step of the way and He's an amazing God for I saw him work in so many ways in my life that I can say was quite amazing. It's a year that when looking back, I saw many people who care for me in ways I didn't know. People have come into my life that I didn't even know but have come to know whether through the mail, computer, or face to face. I am so thankful for each of you who have followed my journey. I didn't start this blog a year ago but you have certainly been there when I did and throughout the rest of my journey. I appreciate your love and concern. I appreciate my family more than ever too--they have all been my great supporters--thanks Mom and Khristi!!! Thanks to my husband too who has been so faithful and loving through all the hardships I've caused him. lol. He's not complained but has been there for me. Cancer is not a fun thing but I have discovered that it' not the worse thing either especially if you have a good prognosis. I will be grateful for each day God gives me. I can not say I am cured of breast cancer for it can come back at any time (or maybe never) but at the moment, I am cancer free!!! Praise God!!!!

Some of you might want to know how my dad is doing. Unfortunately, there are cancers that have a bad prognosis like his but God is with him too. Wednesday was not a good day for him. He was put on oxygen and was really tired. He had taken his medications wrong which messed him up. He now does not have his meds next to him--someone else gives it to him. The nurse puts the pills in the pill boxes so all we have to do is just give the pills at the appropriate time. He was starting to hallucinate but they have since given a pill to help decrease that problem. The nurse talked to us about the progress of decline and death which was hard for my stepmom and stepsister to hear. As I nurse, I already knew these steps and handled it okay with just a few tears. But yesterday, my dad had a completely different day--the meds kicked in I guess. By the afternoon, he was alert and very talkative. He went outside to inspect his son's new truck, ate well, and didn't take a nap---bet he was wore out at bedtime. Today the funeral home is to come and talk about his memorial service. I hope I can be there then but not sure when they are coming. Please keep praying...his day is coming but only God knows when that day is. Love you all.

Job 14:5 Man's days are determined ; you have decreed the number of his months and have set the limits he cannot exceed.

radiation sites. more cancer

2010-03-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 14:30 A heart at peace gives life to the body....

Yesterday, I was visiting with a friend who had breast cancer 4 years ago. She was treated in Austin for her cancer so we had similar treatmemts but some differences. We happened to be comparing our ports---I saw her port site and her incision was vertical while mine is horizontal. I showed her my port and she was amazed how little it is. Guess hers was much bigger. Then we started to talk about our radiation sites. Her tumor was on the left side of her left breast so radiation is on the side of her breast and under her arms. Mine is right on my chest since my tumor was at the 11 o'clock site ( of the breast). Well, she had told me that she had gotten quite burned and there were days when they wouldn't even give her radiation due to her burns. I never had that problem. I was burned the worse on the last day. She showed me her site--it was awful. It's reddish purple and mottled and bumpy looking. I was so surprised. Mine is like a weird tan--slightly brownish and doesn't show too much when I'm wearing a shirt that shows some of it. It's more noticeable after I take a shower. I don't think I would wear a swimsuit--my scars and radiation site would really show up. But I am so grateful that's it not the reddish-purple color. I really feel sorry for her. She might have it taken care of surgically for the dr. says it could be done. All I can say, is "Thanks, God for helping me not get so burned".

Well, my family can not seem to get away from cancer these days. Now my husband was diagnosed with cancer but it's only skin cancer--squamous cell carcinoma which is not dangerous and will be easily taken care of it by removing it. Unfortunately, he's had it for awhile but the dr. doesn't seem to be concerned about it. He will have it removed next week. Had his biopsy last week.

My dad is starting to hallucinate by thinking people tell him things that they didn't say. It's caused by his pain meds. They had increased his dosage the other day. The goal is to make him comfortable from having less pain. He keeps thinking that he is sinking fast but I'm afraid he has more to suffer before it is all over. Please pray for him and the rest of the family. My stepbrother arrived yesterday so now there is one more to come for him to feel like he can let go. That son and grandson will arrive on Friday late night. Thanks again for all your prayers and love.

Psalm 145:3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise, his greatness no one can fathom.

Monday

2010-03-22T12:33:00.001-07:00

II Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you fo rmy power is made perfect in weakness.

I have a week where there is not a single medical thing that I have for myself---yea!!! I do have a mammogram and bone density test next week. It will be a year that I was diagnosed with cancer this Friday. Hard to believe it's been that long but I am glad that the hard stuff is behind me. I have been sleepy alot and I think it's the Arimidx medication that is causing that. I can get a good night's sleep and am still tired especially in the afternoon. In fact, I think I will take a nap after writing on this blog. I'm not a nap person but I've discovered that if I can squeeze in a little nap, it helps.

My dad has his up and down days. Yesterday he told me that he thought he was sinking fast and was hoping he could make it to Saturday when his youngest son and grandson arrive from Indiana. I asked him why he thought he was sinking and it was because he is so tired. His pain medication makes him tired and they had increased his dosage recently. I didn't tell him that he probably has to go through much more before he has sunk(vomiting, not eating....)!! He is ready to go and wants to go. I caught him crying the other day when I went to another town to pick up his daughter from Indiana. He said he didn't want to be causing so much trouble for everyone. I assured him that we don't see it as a burden for we love him. Today I heard that he was sitting up at a table to eat dinner which is something he hasn't done in quite a while. Sounds like he is having a good day. I will be seeing him this afternoon. I try to go everyday. Pray for him and the family . Thanks. Love you all.....

Jeremiah 31:13 I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

Doctor's visit

2010-03-18T05:43:00.000-07:00

Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Went to see the doctor on Monday and had herceptin that day too. The doctor says everything is looking good. I had cancer markers drawn and the level is 21.7 which is good for me. No signs of cancer. I am due for a mammogram this month (the 3oth). On the 16th is when I had a mammogram last year that showed the cancer. Hope this next one is good looking. I've done self-breast exams and haven't found anything. I do have cysts at times so I'm wondering how I will feel emotionally when I do feel something ---will have to hope it's just a cyst. No problems in receiving the Herceptin. The nurses at the chemo clinic mentioned that my hair is coming in thick. I'm sure they see many women with hair growing back. My hair has always been thick anyway. I can tell that it's growing but seems so slow. I have a horrible time with the hair around the crown of my head for it's shorter and I guess I have a cowlick there. Such a pain to fix. lol. I still don't like the stares I receive when i go to the stores or wherever but I just try to ignore them.

My dad has his ups and down days. He ate dinner well last night but was nauseated in the morning. He gets tired easily and company really tires him so my boys rearranged his bedroom so he could be in there with his recliner and it's more peaceful and quiet. My step-sister from Indiana comes in today but flies into Midland so I have to go pick her up. My youngest brother and his family are coming tomorrow. They are spending the night with us on Friday. Thanks for your prayers. Love you all. It has been fun to find out who is following this blog--hi Marcy!!!

I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.

Sunday

2010-03-14T07:15:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 12:2 Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.

I'm sorry I've not posted in a while. Just not alot to say plus I've been busy and tired. I just can't seem to get enough sleep at night. I wake up way too early and can't get back to sleep so I'm getting about 5 hours of sleep. Even the days I can sleep in, I wake up and lay in bed trying to go back to sleep. Oh, well.....sometimes I can grab a nap but other times I just keep plugging on. lol.

I've not worn my wig for a week now. I'm starting to get used to the stares. I hated the first time I went to the store for I felt so weird and was very self conscious. But I'm beginning to relax about it. I've had several nice comments from people I know. On Wednesday nights I work with children and I'm sure they wondered why my hair was so short and different color. Before dismissing the older kids to their class, I explained to them why my hair was the way it is--reminded them that I had cancer and had chemo therefore I lost my hair and now it's growing back. I laughed and told them that I know it looks funny and like a boy's haircut but it will grow. Well, it was cupcake day (we celebrate birthdays for that month with cupcakes once a month) and one of the older girls told me that I didn't look funny but cute. Ahhhh, how sweet.

Tomorrow I see the onocologist and receive Herceptin so will be a busy day. I went to get blood work on Friday and there was a different lab tech and she couldn't get blood on the first stick and boy, did she hurt me for she had to dig around. I missed Ann who usually draws my blood. Oh, well....I recovered. My dad was put on Hospice which has been a good thing for they are so helpful and they give him whatever he needs for free. They completely changed all his medications and he some problems with one medication so was feeling worse for a couple of days but now is some better. He says he is ready to go and wishes the rest of the kids would come see him. He isn't bedridden but doesn't have the energy to do much but at times will fix his own meal. He was the one always who cooked the meals, not my stepmom. lol. I've been there almost every day at some time or another. Just continue to pray for the family as I know there are going to be rough days ahead. Thanks for your care and prayers.

I Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him , because he cares for you.

Hair, wig

2010-03-08T17:30:00.000-08:00

I Samuel 16:7 ...the Lord sees not as man sees, for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks in the heart.

This weekend I decided it was time to "come out of the wig". Yep, I am going out into the world without my wig. Believe it or not, I did it for the first time going to a wedding. I knew there would be people there I've not seen in awhile and they may not have seen me in my newest wig plus I knew it's about time to go without my wig. Our hairdresser was encouraging me to go without. I don't care for the short hair and I don't really like people staring at me , but I did it anyway. I'm sure it's a shock to see me in such little hair. Just think, last year at this time, I had long. long hair. It will grow. I went to church too without the wig and today I went to get my coumadin level checked and didn't wear the wig. By the way, my coumadin level was 2.3 which is where the level needs to be. Hooray. that is two times in a row that I've had good levels so now I don't have to be rechecked for a month. I found out today that I'm not be drinking green tea. I've been doing that in the past and that could be one reason I've had poor results. I haven't been drinking it lately for I've been drinking hot chocolate instead. No one told me not to drink green tea or maybe I forgot. Each month they do some kind of educational talk and today was foods that contain high levels of Vit. K. Why can't I have Vit. K? Well, it will thicken my blood and we are trying to keep the blood thin so I won't have a blood clot. Back to the wig, I did wear my wig to my daughter's theatre for I've been going there every evening to fix Sarah's hair for the play she's in and these people really don't know me and by next week, I'll be done going there so why shock those kids. lol. I've not gone into a store yet....guess that is coming soon.

You may be wondering how my dad and the family is doing. He is doing okay--pain has lessen since his pain medication was increased. We had a good talk on Sat. about my relationship with him, heaven, and dying. He is a believer and knows he is going to heaven but being a typical man, wants to know how it all works--going to heaven that is. My stepmom was in a good mood that day and being strong (Prayers are working) and she and I were telling him how wonderful it's going to be, reminding him that we may not know exactly how it all works but it doesn't matter, it's better than being on earth and he'll be free from pain, etc. My stepmom even gave him pemission to go when he is ready. So proud of her. I think it is so important for a spouse or family member to say, it's okay to go. He's not ready yet but when the time comes, he'll know that he doesn't have to keep fighting to stay alive. He has lots of humor most times so we were trying to be jovial and telling him to throw down bits of gold from heaven to let us know he's there and doing okay. :) Anyway, it was a great talk. Glad I had that time with him. Was able to tell him thanks for being in my life these past 14 years. He teared up and said he wished he could have earlier in my life but didn't want to cause problems with kids trying to decide where to be loyal to which parent, etc. Didn't want to disturb our lives. I told him that it doesn't matter for I have enjoyed getting to be his daughter for the past 14 years when he moved to my town. He has been a good grandad for my kids too. Thanks for your prayers for me and for my family as we go through the days ahead.

Isaiah 33:2 O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.

Sad news

2010-03-05T14:34:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 4:10 So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

In a year's time, my family has had to deal with several people with cancer. We've not dealt with it much in the past except my aunt who died with breast cancer about 1 1/2 years ago. I feel that I've been pretty lucky to have healthy family members and especially healthy parents or so I thought. My dad had been having back pains for about 3 months and lots of tests have been done but nothing came up as to why he had the back pain. Finally his surgeon thought that maybe the many lipomas (fatty benign tumors) on his back was the cause; maybe they are on some nerves. I have lipomas too and once there was one sitting on a nerve in my leg which the doctor removed easily in his office. Well, my dad had surgery and had 25 lipoma's removed. These were just on one side of his back and some on his stomach area. This surgery was done 2 weeks ago. Some of wounds are draining and not healing properly and some are opening up. My stepmom took him in to the ER last Sunday to have an incision stitched up and the nurse noticed the coloring of his skin---yellow. He was juandiced and my stepmom hadn't noticed (they keep their house dark due to low lighting). The ER dr. thought maybe he had a blocked bile duct so a CT scan was scheduled and done on Tuesday. On Wed. they found out that it's not the bile duct nor gallbladder. He has pancreatic cancer!!! That is the worse (or one of the worse) cancers to have for there is no cure and usually people don't live long after being diagnosed. The doctor gave him 2-3 months to live. Of course, no one but God knows when our days are done. This has really hit me hard. They live here and I'm over there quite a bit. We have developed a great relationship over the past 14 years since they've moved here. He has been a good grandfather for my kids. And I get along with my stepmom; she is my friend. I will miss them so much. My dad is having a great attitude about this but worries about what is going to happen to his wife. My stepmom is very dependent on him so this will be very hard but today she seems to have gotten herself in control and is doing better. They are both Christians so will be drawing strength from Him. This will especially be hard for them financially for they have no life insurance, savings, or retirement. He has been working---even went to work last week even though he felt bad. It makes me appreciate the extra money my husband has set aside for life insurance and retirement. Anyway, please pray for us as we say our good-byes and go through this very difficult time. I am the only child here but the others will be coming to see him soon and one son will be here for a couple of weeks to help out. And a daughter will be coming in April but not sure for how long. I know that having cancer is hard enough but having it and dying is even harder. I am thankful that I survived my cancer---wish my dad could too.......oh, well....there is a plan for all of us. He has lived a good life and will have a great time meeting God in heaven. Oh, they celebrate their 42nd wedding anniversary next week. He asked me to buy her a card that he can give her. What an honor...it will be the last card for him to give her...the last anniversary...oh, how sad.

Isaiah 43:2-3 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Wednesday

2010-03-03T07:04:00.000-08:00

Psalm 92:4-5 For you make me glad by your deeds, O Lord; I sing for joy at the works of your hands. How great are your works, O Lord, how profound your thoughts.

You may be wondering how is the rash and the intestinal problems I had recently. Well, all is fine. Just a bit of rash left but really not noticeable but probably by me. lol. The intestinal problem is all gone except my husband now has it. Yikes.....

This is the month that my cancer journey started. So, some anniversaries coming up. I felt the lump sometime around March 10 or so and I had my mammogram on March 16, my son's birthday. Was diagnosed with cancer on March 26. So, lot of annivesary dates. I will be having a mammorgram this month--at the end. Hard to believe it's been nearly a year since I was told that I have cancer. It doesn't seem that it's been that long. I had a scare yesterday while I was showering. I thought I felt a lump in my breast. I quickly did a self breast exam but didn't find anything. Whew......maybe it was just a gland that I brushed against or nothing at all. Thanks to you all who have been following my blog. It's nice to know that people care. Thanks for your prayers most of all.

Note to KK---I'm thinking of you and family as you face your own sad anniversary of the loss of your precious son. God loves you all!!!

Jeremiah 31:13 I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

sick

2010-02-28T07:02:00.000-08:00

Psalm 41:3 The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness.

Yesterday afternoon, I planted some bulbs in my garden for a friend who moved here but is in a rent house and not sure if they will stay there. After planting the bulbs, I went walking with my neighbor. I just don't have the stamina that I once had. I do okay walking in the morning when I just got out of bed, but doing it in the afternoon was very tough. I did it though and when I got home, I collapsed in a chair--I was so exhausted. I felt so stiff and my joints were hurting. Well, I felt warm so for some reason, I took my temp and was surprised to find that I had 100.5. No other symptoms....weird. I think my joints were hurting due to the fever. During the night, I had diarrhea----oh, that is why I had fever. Intestinal bug. Christopher had it last week so probably got it from him. I don't think he ran fever but each person is different. I am feeling some better this morning. Thanks for your prayers.......

Psalm 30:2 O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.

Doctor's visit

2010-02-24T14:04:00.000-08:00

Psalm 105:4 Look to the Lord and His strength; seek his face always.

I saw my primary care doctor today. The reason I had to go to begin with was that when she did the pap smear in January, there wasn't enough substance to be tested. She said it might happen again because I am on Arimidex which is an anti-estrogen medication. This causes dryness. She said that the chemo may have caused the problems back in January. If it doesn't work this time, she said we'll try again in a year. I told her that there was an OB/gyn dr. who came to our breast cancer support group and said that if you have had a hysterectomy, that pap smears are not needed anymore. I asked my doctor what she thought and she disagreed and believes women still need to have a pap smear every year.

I asked her too about the rash under my breasts. She looked at it and thought maybe it was from the sweating that I get from hot flashes. Could be a fungus but since the hydrocortizone worked, she didn't think it was fungal. She suggested I use powder like baby powder. Kinda of weird since I've been sweating for about a year and never had this problem but who knows....

Today I decided to go back and copy my blog posts so I can keep a record of all I've written like in a notebook to remind me about my journey. All I got done was April which seems alot and there is so much more!!! There will come a time soon when this journey will be over and I won't be writing on this blog. So sad to know that you all won't be reading this but so happy that my cancer journey is ending. But not yet......thanks for your prayers.

I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask --we know that we have what we asked of him.

Herceptin and rash

2010-02-22T18:19:00.000-08:00

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the glorious riches of Christ Jesus

My rash is looking better--light pink. However, it has spread to my other breast (underneath) but just one side of it. It doesn't bother me. I will be seeing my primary care dr. on Wednesday so will ask her what she thinks. I have been so tired lately but could be just a lack of sleep.

I had Herceptin today. There was a new pharamicst and she labeled my bag of Herceptin to be infused within an hour and my nurse didn't notice that is was slower than previously given. Usually they infuse it within 30 minutes. She apologized several times but it was okay---I was so tired that I took a nap there. :)

I keep a record of what each procedure, doctor visit, treatment, etc cost and how much insurance paid and how much we pay. The other day I was recording these amounts for I was quite behind in recording. I decided to add how much everything cost for 2009. However, I forgot to add in the whole bill of the radiation center in our town but did add how much we should have paid (which was over $17.000). Anyway, the amount was so much more than I expected---over $152.000!!!! I am so happy that we have a pretty good insurance company. Everytime I have Herceptin, it costs about $16.000!!! It won't be long before I am covered 100%. I know my husband will be glad when all my treatments are over so we won't have to hand out so much money for medical bills. It makes me understand better why there are so many fundrasiers for people who have cancer especially when they are not insured. Very expensive!!! Thanks for your care, love, and prayers.

Matthew 6:25, 33 Don't worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

picture

2010-02-20T17:54:00.001-08:00

I tried to get this on my other post but for some reason couldn't do it. This is how my hair looks now. Like a boy's. :) It will grow. Just need patience. sigh......

Rash

2010-02-20T17:16:00.000-08:00

Psalm 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped.

This morning I was working in the kitchen and my bra was really bothering me which is unusual. I went to check it out and I had a very red nasty looking rash under my breast (the one that had cancer). It's on the breast and skin under it (I am big breasted). I have no idea what caused it or when it started but it was the first I noticed. I had even taken a shower earlier and didn't notice anything. And of course, it's a Sat. so really can't call the doctor. Larry, my husband, had some prescription hydrocortisone so I used it which took away the pain but it's still there. I am to see my primary care doctor on Wednesday so if it's still around, at least she can take a look at it. I have not used any new products and there is no rash under the other breast. Weird.

I worked outside today (beautiful weather) and didn't wear any hat or turban. Felt good to work without anything on my head. I do believe the hair on my legs grow faster than on my head. lol. I had so much outside work that should have been done back in the fall but I was taking chemo then and just didn't feel like doing it. Glad I have the energy to do it today but I am pretty tired now. Just pray that this rash is nothing and goes away soon. Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 91:1-2 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty . I will say of the Lord, he is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.

hot flashes

2010-02-18T07:42:00.000-08:00

Matthew 11: 28-29 Come me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, fior I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

My main problem is hot flashes. I seem to get them the most at night. I am taking medication to curb the hot flashes and it was working pretty well until I started the Arimidex and that is a big side effect. I seem to have 2-3 hot flashes a night and when I get them, boy am I hot. They will wake me up and that is probably why I'm so tired these days. Oh, well.....could be worse. At least the medicaton keeps me from having tons of hot flashes. It's really hard in the winter time for I am so cold-natured and like lots of blankets on me so when a hot flash occurs, I have to whip those blankets off which can be hard at times when I have several cats sleeping around me. lol. Poor cats!!! :)

I have blood work to be done tomorrow. One of the tests will be the cancer marker, I believe. Or maybe I get that one done when I see the doctor and I'm not seeing the dr. on Monday but just getting the Herceptin. I received my last card from my chemo angel and a sweet gift ( a pink heart that hangs up on the wall) that she made for the chemo angel organization told her that I am done with chemo. I will miss receiving her sweet and creative cards. I hope she gets a new person to send those cards to. She has been such a great encourager. Thanks AnnMarie!!! Thanks to you all for your prayers. A friend from high school has a sister just diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. He set up a facebook page for her called "Prayers for Paula" so I've been sending her verses that helped me through my cancer journey. I also told her how so many people prayed for me and I truly believe that is why things weren't too bad for me. God does hear and He is a great and mighty God!!!

James 5:15-16 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Coumadin check

2010-02-15T11:42:00.000-08:00

Psalm 138:8 The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever--do not abandon the works of your hands.

I went in today for a coumadin check and finally the results were normal. The last 2 checks the results were too high. I hope it stays normal from now on. :) I will be going back in 3 weeks instead of 2 weeks. I am feeling pretty good these days. Just a little stiffness at times but no side effects from the new medication that I can tell. Praise the Lord!!! I don't sleep well at night so am tired during the day. I have blood work this Friday then Hercepting infusion next Monday. Other than that, it's a slow week medical wise. Thanks again for all your prayers. I am considering becoming a chemo angel soon. I sure appreciated my chemo angels. AnnMarie, if you read this--thanks for the cards you continue to send. You are so sweet. I will write you soon. My hair is slowly growing. I am afraid that I will have to quit wearing my wig soon since it's so short and my hair is going to start showing. It's short and looks like a boys haircut. lol. When it's warmer it won't bother me so much. I will have someone take a picture of my "short hairstyle" so you can see. My son says my ears are too big to show it off....oh, well....that is the way God created me. :) Have a great day. Love you all.....

Psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made: your works are wonderful., I know that full well.

Thankful

2010-02-10T08:09:00.000-08:00

Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as memebers of one body, you were called to peace. And be thankful.

I've been reflecting on what has happened the past year especially in my family. Three members of my family was diagnosed with cancer. Hardly anyone in the past had cancer then boom, suddenly, we were getting cancer. It all started with my aunt (my mother's sister) who had breast cancer then it came back and she died in Nov. 2008. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2009. My uncle (my mother's brother) was diagnosed with throat cancer , I believe in the early summer of 2009. My brother-in-law was daignosed with prostate cancer in Aug. 2009. Wow!!! However, we are done with our surgeries, chemo, and radiation and we are all doing well. (My brother-in-law only had surgery) Praise God!!! He is so good. It was a scary and hard year especially for my mother but we are all breathing a sigh of relief now. I know for myself that this past year was a year of having to really trust God with everything. He was there for me and still is with me. I had alot of support from my family and neighbors but not always the support from others that I would have liked but that's okay. God provided all I needed. There would be people who I never expected to be helpful and supportive.

Also, I've been thinking how you never know when someone is going to be snatched away from you unexpectantly or you yourself never know when you will die. A young woman I know didn't wake up on Sunday morning. She was only 30 years old with 2 children, 12 and 2 years old. No one had an idea that this could happen. They dont' know yet why this has happened but it did. So sad....but it just shows us that our life is in God's hands and it can be taken up to heaven anytime. So, I want to be thankful for the time I have here and thankful for my family and friends. Let's be thankful today and every day for the rest of our lives. Tell someone today that you are glad they are here and that you love them. :)

I am feeling pretty good these days. No new side effects. Just waiting and waiting for my hair to grow. I will feel so much better when I feel comfortable to not wear a wig or hat. It will happen someday. Thanks for your love and prayers.

I Thessalonians 1:2 We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers.

Cards

2010-02-07T16:24:00.000-08:00

Psalm 9:10 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Thanks for your prayers about my new medication. I've not had any side effects so far. I had that headache one day but not again so it may have had nothing to do with the medication. God is so good!!!! I was involved with an organization called 'Chemo Angel' where they send encouragment through cards and gifts while you are taking chemo. I had 2 wonderful chemo angels and one still sends me cards that she creatively makes. Well, the past few days I've been receiveing lots of birthday cards from different chemo angels all over the United States like from New York to California. I had no idea that was going to happen so it so amazing all the cards I am receiving. How sweet. One 'angel' called herself 'special assignment angel' so maybe there are angels out there just sending birthday cards. It is so nice to receive more encouragement anytime. Have a great week. I have no medical appointments this week--amazing!!!!

Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sins deceitfulness.

cancer markers

2010-02-05T05:04:00.000-08:00

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

I've not had any more headaches but still at times have a pain or tenderness in my left breast. Have just a little stiffness--more so this morning than the previous days. But no real side effects from Arimidex yet. I am so glad. I know it's only been a few days so I have to wait to see for sure about the side effects.

Yesterday evening I went to the Survivor Sister meeting (our breast cancer support group) and my onocologist was the speaker. He talked about cancer markers that are tested by blood. I knew I was having this test performed and that my results were good but really didn't know what it all meant. It is not a diagnostic test but hopefully some day there will be one like the PSA is for prostate cancer. But what this test can show is: if your cancer is coming back, it can give clues. Each person's level is different so that is why it can't be a diagnostic test. So, it is used only for breast cancer (there are similar tests for other cancers) patients. He likes to test before treatments and then he will test again after treatments are complete. Then he will test each time you see him (usually 4 times a year when treatments are done until 5 years have gone by--then once a year) . What he looks for in the test is whether your level stays about the same and if it rises significantly, then that is a clue that something is going on. So, then other tests are performed like CT Scans, bone scans, etc. It was very interesting to me so I was happy that I went to the meeting. There is a younger lady who is a school teacher in a small town nearby that started her chemo a couple of weeks after me. She never wore wigs but always a hat. Yesterday she came in with nothing and her hair is just a bit longer than mine. She looked nice and everyone was complimenting her on her hair. I just don't think I look nice with such short hair yet. I have such big ears. lol. Would like for it to grow a bit longer. Our group is going to do a scrapbook to put in the cancer library where my onocologist's office is. We are each to do a page or more and give a testimony. I think I will tell about how the MRI was a lifesaving test for me and how I have the peace of God within me throughout this whole journey. I told the lady who is heading up the scrapbook, that I would help since I scrapbook myself. We might be working on it next month at our meeting. Sounds fun. Thanks for praying for me. I really have appreciated all the prayers and I believe that is why things have gone pretty well for me. Love you all......

Isaiah 58:8-9 Then your light will break froth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call , and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help and he will say: Here am I.

Side effects?

2010-02-03T07:13:00.001-08:00

I Peter 5:7 Caat all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

You are probably wondering if I am experiencing any side effects from Arimidex which I just started on Monday. Not much yet but I did have a terrible headache yesterday evening. I usually don't have headaches so wondering if this could be a side effect. Headaches is on the list for possible side effects. Also, I've been having alot of pain/tenderness in my left breast. Not sure why that started up. It's not as bad today so maybe it's going away. Pain is in the area of my incision and radiation area. I've not experienced pain there except after surgery and during radiation. Other than that, I'm okay. The nurse practioner told me that it takes time to see what the side effects will be. I'm praying that it will be very minimal.

While I was writing this, my onocologist's office called and they have scheduled me for a mammogram and bone density test. Will be done on March 30. The doctor told me that Arimidex does cause bone loss so I am to take calcium with Vit. D. I am already doing that knowing that chemo also caused bone loss and my primary doctor told me what dosages to take. My grandmother had osteoporosis really bad. I had a bone denisty test done at the chiropracter's office about 2 years ago and things looked good but so many things have happened since then so who knows what my future holds with my bones. But that is okay for I know that the Lord does know and He'll be with me in whatever happens. Thanks for your prayers. Have a great day. Love you......

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Doctor's visit

2010-02-01T12:40:00.002-08:00

Psalm 37:3-4 Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in teh Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Today was a busy day. First I had my coumadin level checked. Last time it was high at 3.5 and this time it was even higher at 3.7. That means my blood is too thin. So they changed my dosage. I can't think of anything that I am doing that would make the level high. After that, I went to the onocologist--just down the hall. All my blood tests and echocardiogram (heart test) was good. No problems there. I asked him about the stiffness I am having. He said that chemo makes you age and it could be a type of arthritic problem. It might go away but if it doesn't, then he'll send me to an arthritis doctor. He started me on a new medication called Arimidex which keeps estrogen from being produced. Even though I don't have any ovaries, my body still produces some estrogen. This medication does have side effects and each person is different. He said that the most common side effect is bone pain (oh, great...along with my stiffness) and hot flashes. I am already taking medication for hot flashes so hoping that it will continue to help with the hot flashes. Other side effects are weight gain (please...no), headaches, dizziness, back pain, and a host of others. I took my first pill this afternoon. I will be taking this medication for 5 years so hoping it's not too bad.

After the doctor's visit, I had Herceptin which went well. I was really sleepy today so tried to take a little nap. It was pretty quiet except the nurses talking among themselves and just as I was falling asleep, a sweet lady comes bursting in with a loud "hello everyone" to bring goodies for the nurses. Oh, well...my medicaiton was just about done so needed to wake up. lol. Thanks for your prayers and just pray that the side effects won't be bad. I was just enjoying feeling good these days. Sigh.....:) Love you all......

Psalm 36: 5-7 Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulnees to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains , your justice like the great deep. O Lord, you preserve both man and beast. How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.

Doctor'

2010-02-01T12:40:00.001-08:00

Sunday

2010-01-31T05:29:00.000-08:00

Psalm 145:8-9 The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.

I had a laugh this morning....I have a cat that likes to sleep on my pillow with me. He is so soft and warm so I don't mind for he keeps my head warm. I usually go to bed with a turban but I get hot at times so take it off then my head gets cold. This morning right before I got up, this cat was on my pillow and decided to give my head a bath. He is good at bathing some of the other cats and my hair is as short as a cat's so I guess he decided I needed a bath. it sure felt funny. Does that mean I don't need to shampoo my hair now? Just kidding!!! As he was licking my hair, I got to wondering how these guys who have short hair stay warm at night. I like wearing my turban for it keeps me warm.

Tomorrow I go see the onocologist and receive a dose of Herceptin. I also get my coumadin level checked again. I think I will be starting a new medication too. I have noticed that lately I don't seem to be so stiff as before and am wondering if it's a side effect of Herceptin. If it starts up again right after getting Herceptin, then maybe that is the culprit of why I get so stiff jointed. I will ask the doctor about it. I have no idea how this new medication will affect me so better enjoy today while I'm feeling good. lol. Well, thanks for your prayers.

I Samuel 3;18 He is the Lord, let Him do what is good in his eyes.

thursday

2010-01-28T06:45:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 33:2 O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.

Sorry I haven't written lately but just not much going on. I am feeling pretty good these days. I still have stiffness when I get up out of a chair or bed. I hope that goes away in time. I feel too young to have that problem. And of course, the forgetfulness is terrible. My hair is growing but still seems way too short. It is getting more blonde looking so am happy about that. I get blood work tomorrow to be sure my white and red blood cell counts are good. I'm sure they will be but they always check it before I get herceptin. I see the onocologist on Monday, Feb. 1, and receive herceptin. I have been losing some weight so am trying to be careful to keep it down so my weight will be down when they weigh me at the doctor's on Monday. I hate being weighed at the doctors, dont' you? The scales seem worse than mine at home so it seems I weigh so much more. Thanks for checking up on me and praying. I appreciate it.

Psalm 118:28-29 You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Monday

2010-01-25T06:46:00.000-08:00

I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.

I am feeling pretty good these days. I still have stiffness when getting up from sitting down or lying down. I believe that is a side effect from the chemo I had but I will ask the doctor next week when I see if that is what it is. I talked to a friend of mine that had breast cancer and she asked me if I had started taking my oral medication, Arimidix yet. No, I haven't but will probably start next week. We talked about the side effects of it and I am now dreading in taking it for it has been so nice to feel good again. Of course, each person is different and who knows how this medication will effect me. So far, I feel that God has been so good to me in all that I've gone through--chemo and radiation for the side effects haven't been as bad as they could have been. Not pleasant but could have been worse so maybe, Arimidex won't be too bad either. At least I am praying that things will be okay for I will be taking this medication for 5 years. Yikes!!!

It is so nice to be able to wear any of my shirts now for you can't tell too much where the radiated area was. I can see a faint pinkness but I don't think it's too noticeable. I really do appreciate your prayers. Without prayers and God, I don't think I could have gone through this journey of cancer as well as I have. I hardly have any medical things to do this week--only lab work on Friday. Hooray!!! Love you all......

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding , will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

coumadin level

2010-01-22T06:13:00.000-08:00

Psalm 91:1-2 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress. "

Yesterday I had my coumadin level checked. Coumadin is a blood thinner which I take because of a blood clot I had behind my port-a-cath (a deviced placed under my skin where my IV is hooked up to receive medications). My level needs to be between 2-3 but it was high, 3.5. That is not good for my blood is thinner than it needs to be. I went to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned right after my level was checked. I told my dental hygientist about the level for my gums tend to bleed some when my teeth are cleaned. I wasn't too worried for my level has been high before and I never had a problem with getting any bleeding to stop. She asked the dentist if it was okay to clean my teeth and he said yes. Luckily, I didn't have too much bleeding and no problems at all.

I really liked the devotion I read this morning during my quiet time with the Lord. It was talking about how in music, there are rests included along with notes and it is an important part of the music. There are rests in our lives like when we have an illness, disappointed plans, frustrated efforts, etc. We might think it is the end but it is just part of the "music" and life goes on as planned. Rests are planned and we need to see that this is part of the "tune" and not get discouraged. I could relate to this with my cancer for it was a rest in my life. I knew it wasn't the end and I was able to use that time to draw nearer to God while resting. I hope we each can learn that lesson for we all will come to a restful time even when we dont' think we need it. We should just dwell in the Lord and grow in Him and trust His plans for our life. Have a great day. Love you all.....

Psalm 46:19 Be still , and know that I am God.....

Wig story

2010-01-21T06:52:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine...

I have a wig story to tell today. When I get home, I usually take off my wig right away for I get tired of wearing it. It gets tight around the head. Sometimes I get lazy and just put it on the bathroom counter instead of putting it on the wig stand in my closet. So, last week , I had my wig on the bathroom counter. My black cat, Munchie, jumped up and started playing with it so I remembered how he messed up my real hair when I had it cut to give to Locks of Love . (He made a big tangled mess with it). I took the wig away from him and put it up. Well, a day or two later, I put my wig again on the bathroom counter. Later on, here comes Munchie carrying my wig in his mouth into the living room It was the funniest looking thing. He seemed so proud of having 'captured' this creature. Luckily for me, he didn't mess it up too bad. Guess I better not leave it lying around anymore.

I am feeling much better from my cold. I do believe people have been praying for me for usually it takes a long time for me to get over a cold. This one didn't get too bad and it's going away quickly. I never really developed much of a cough--just one day of a dry hacking cough. I haven't taken any cold medication in several days now. Thanks for praying.

Today I get my coumadin level checked. I hope it's good. It's been a month since I had it checked. I am hoping the cold medications didn't mess it up.

I am so ready for my hair to grow back. I am tired of wearing my wig and turbans, hats...It's been about 8 months since my hair started falling out. That seems a long time. I didn't think it would take this long for my hair to grow back. I told the boys the other day that maybe I will start going without my turbans and wig but my oldest didin't think that was a good idea---too embarrassing for him. My youngest said he didn't care, he would just tell people that his mom has cancer. Oh, well...I'll wait a little longer. :) thanks for your prayers and love....

ssians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on eartly things.

Tuesday

2010-01-19T06:34:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 33:2 O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.

Good morning!! I am feeling somewhat better with this cold. Still have a stuffy nose but not too much coughing. I am sleeping well so that helps plus I felt lazy all weekend with just sitting around most of the time. I know my body needed the rest but sometimes it makes me feel so guilty for resting. Luckily, there wasn't alot that needed to be done so rest was easy to get. However, it is time to get busy. Monday was a holiday at our house since my husband was off work and my youngest son was on his way home from a skiing trip so that gave me an extra day of rest plus I did some housework but not too much. I don't have much going on this week doctor related except a coumadin blood check on thursday. Was to have a dental appointment but I need to change it for I forgot I had it and I am getting my coumadin level checked at the time my dental appt. is to be done. Silly me. I feel so forgetful these days that it drives me crazy at times. I need to carry around a small calendar in my purse so I can remember when I have appointments. The nurse for my primary care doctor called yesterday to say that they have to redo the pap smear test since it came back insufficient for testing. The doctor thought it might have something to do with the medications I've been on. I should have asked then about whether it really needs to be done but I think I'll go ahead and get it done. It is scheduled to be done late February. Thanks for your prayers.

I Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Cold

2010-01-16T07:03:00.000-08:00

Psalm 34:6 This poor man (woman) called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.

God protected me from the common cold and flu all during my treatments which was wonderful. I am back to normal on my blood cells so back to normal with illnesses for I have my first cold since I was diagnosed wtih cancer. The bad thing is that it's my first cold also since taking comadin and there are so many medications I am not allowed to take--some of my favorite cold medications. I almost forgot to check but right before I took anything I did check online if I could take it. I am not having fever, just a runny nose and slight cough and oh, so tired. I did sleep pretty well last night. I went to the chiropracter yesterday morning so that helped me sleep without having back pain and having to get up and sleep in the chair. Yea!!!!!

I also had a echo cardiogram done yesterday--test of my heart. I am sure it's okay but of course, the tech didn't say a word. It is interesting to see the mitral valves of the heart open and close and hear the heartbeat. I'll find out the result of the test when I see my onocologist on Feb. 1. Now that it's a new year, time to start all over paying the deductible for insurance and having to pay again. It was nice to be 100% covered there for a while. I saw that my radiation bill in San Antonio was $14,000 and insurance paid it all !!!! Thank you Lord!!! Thanks for your prayers. I always appreciate them. Have a great day!!!

Isaiah 33:2 O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.

Doctor's visit in San Antonio

2010-01-13T08:32:00.001-08:00

Psalm 32:13-14 From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth--he forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.

On Tuesday, my daughter and I traveled to San Antonio for me to see the radiation onocologist, Dr. West. Before the doctor's visit, we had lunch with my sister at Cracker Barrel--one of my favorite places. I took my 'melted bangs" wig with me in case I decided to wear it with a headband since this will my last time to see them so why confuse them but my daughter and sister convinced me to wear the new wig. Usually when you go in, they see you and recognize you and they send a message to the back that you are here without you ever having to stop at the desk to say you are here. Well, the secretary was on the phone when I walked in so when she got off, I told her who I was in case she didnt' recognize me. She said that she knew my face seemed familiar but didn't know it was me. lol. My favorite radiation tech came out to get another patient and she saw me and recognized me. I didn't get to say goodbye to her when I had my last treatment for she was off so we talked later and I got to hug her and say goodbye. I told her and the nurse about my other wig and they had a good laugh. In fact, the nurse looked at me and said with a smile "that is so funny". It took forever for me to get to see the dr. for he had decided to see a patient in the hospital and got caught by the family members. He apologized several times about making me wait so long. He said my skin looked like it was healing just fine and that eventually it will look all normal again. I don't have to go see him again. The nurse told me that she had worried about me with my fair skin so was happy that my skin did so well. While waiting for the doctor, I read a magazine called "Cure" which is about cancer and it's free for cancer patients and survivors so I took a card for I am thinking of subscribing to it. I read an article about Herceptin which is a medication I am taking. They talked about the side effects and I am lucky not to experience hardly any of them --the only one might be fatigue for I am tired alot. They say that after having chemo, radiation, etc. that you can experience fatigue for months or even years. Oh, great.....

On Friday, I am to have an echo cardiogram which is just a sound wave of my heart to be sure that the Herceptin is not causing any heart damage. That is a side effect of Herceptin. So far, my heart has been healthy and I bet it is still healthy. Well, thanks for your support and prayers. Love you.

Matthew 11:28 Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.

Monday

2010-01-11T19:05:00.000-08:00

Psalm 52:9 I will praise you forever for what you ahve done; in your name I will hope for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints.

Today I received Herceptin--an anti-cancer drug but doesn't cause any side effects for me which I'm so grateful for. I was only at the chemo clinic for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Yea!!!! I started to wear my old wig there with a headband but my sons persuaded me to wear my new wig. I walked in and they were all sitting there and just looked at me then I said "how do you like my new hairstyle" and they all relaxed and commented on it and then I told them the wig story about how it had melted. They had a good laugh. I finally posted a picture on my facebook with me wearing my new wig. One lady commented "Well, if you decide to get rid of this hairstyle, all you have to do is open a hot oven!!! Very funny.....lol.

Tomorrow I am going to San Antonio to have a checkup with the radiation doctor. I hate having to drive for about 7 hours for probably a 10 minute visit. Oh, well....that is life. My daughter is coming along for the ride so we will have some good mom/daughter time. Will have lunch with my sister at one of my favorite restaurants--Cracker Barrel. Pray that we will have safe travels. We are not spending the night--just going and coming back all in one day. I have been so tired lately and having to take naps in the afternoon--that's not typical of me. Well, should go on to bed now. Thanks for your prayers. Love you......

Psalm 55:22 Cast all your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

support group

2010-01-09T08:28:00.000-08:00

I Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore enourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

On Thursday I went to my support group--called Survivor Sisters. A lady Ob/gyn dr. was there talking about several women health issues especially cancers like cervical and ovarian. She said that if you have had a hysterectomy, then you don't need pap smears anymore but still need to see your dr. yearly for other things like breast & rectal exams. I just had a pap smear, the first since my hysterectomy. I will have to ask my dr. to see what she says about that. She also talked about the BRca genetic testing to see if your breast cancer is genetic. I had always heard that you really need to worry about the history of breast cancer on your mom's side. She and another dr. that was there both said that studies show that it's on both sides of the family that you can inherit breast cancer. New info I need to pass on to my own family. At the support group, they gave us bracelets to represent our group. Our t-shirts are lime green with hot pink and black lettering. So, our bracelets have hot pink and lime stones with 2 black beads that have 'S' on them for Survior Sisters and then there are some clear beads. Very cute.

Well, I am feeling pretty great these days. I got blood work done yesterday to check my white and red blood cells and other things. I am to recieve Herceptin meds on Monday. I go to San Antonio on tuesday for a follow up with the radiation dr. I don't feel as stiff as I have been. Maybe the walking is helping. Of course, I've not walked the past 2 days due to it being so cold. I've done some Wii fit plus exercises though. Chemo messes up with your brain and I do seem unable to always remember or just have problems doing some simple thngs. Hard to explain but I just seem different brain wise, so I will just blame it on chemo--lol. My neighbor got to see my hair for she could see some of it under my hat that I was wearing so I went ahead and showed her and her kids. Her son has a crew cut and my hair is almost as long as his but as thick. She thinks it will turn blonde but my son thinks it's going to be grey. We'll see.....Have a wonderful weekend!! Love you all!!!

Psalm 86:12-13 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

Doctor's visit

2010-01-06T20:36:00.000-08:00

Psalm 118:28-29 This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

I saw my family practice dr. yesterday. I actually shaved under my arms for the first time in a long time before I went to see the dr. lol. She said my cholestrol level is down by 20 points and that the good cholestrol is up while the bad is down--all good news. I really didn't do much to change my diet. She wants me to have a bone density test when I have my mammogram which should be done in March. I had a pap smear done so hoping that is normal. Should find out soon.

I am wearing the 'new ' wig now and it's funny to see how people react. Some don't recognize me such as at Brandon's Boy Scout troop --one of the scout masters introduced himself to me thinking I was a new mom. I don't think he knows I had cancer but some of the parents and other scout leaders do. I went to church to work with the kids and several thought it was my natural hair grown back. I wish.....but no.... one young woman had to touch it to see if it was really a wig for she didnt' believe me. Guess that is good!!!! Even the dr. wondered if it was my hair or a wig. She didn't know for sure until she checked me and could feel that it was a wig.

I've been walking 3 times this week but sure makes me tired since I get up so early to walk with my neighbor. We won't be walking the rest of this week since a cold, cold front is coming in tonight. My only problem is feeling so stiff after sleeping or sitting for a while. The doctor thinks it may be from chemo but said to ask my onocologist. Thanks for checking up on me and praying. God has been so good to me this past year as He has been right by my side through all of this. I love Him!!!!

Psalm 121:1-3 I lift up my eyes to the hills---where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth. He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber.

skin

2010-01-04T20:29:00.001-08:00

Psalm 116:1-2 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heardy my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.

My radiated skin is finally looking so much better. Yippee!!! It is still pink but just slightly. You can still see it; and I hardly have any shirts to wear to church since you can see the radiated area even though the shirts I have aren't that low. I wore one yesterday that tends to show some of the radiated area but I kept pulling it up so it won't show much. Today I bought a new shirt that I can wear--looks like a button down shirt with a thin sweather over it. It doesn't show the radiated area. My mom's friend who had breast cancer and had radiation said to use Vit. E cream to help it heal so I went to 2 stores to buy some. I couldn't find anything that was only Vit. E cream but did find a Gold Bond healing cream that has Vit. E in it. Sure is nice to use that instead of the aloe vera gel--now my clothes won't stick to my skin!!! Larry thinks the lumpectomy scar is looking better too.

I wore the short wig to church and no one said anything--not sure if people recognized me. Probably thought Larry was with another woman--hahaha. We came in a bit late and ended up sitting near the back so probably no one noticed me back there. I wore it shopping for a new shirt today and it came right off when changing shirts. Good thing I was in the dressing room!!! I had a comb with me so was able to fix it up. How funny.....will be glad when my wig days are over.

I had my cholestrol level checked today and will find out results tomorrow when I see my family doctor. I am to have a pap smear tomorrow too--will be the first time since I had a hysterectomy in summer of 2008. The doctor wanted to wait since I was in the middle of treatments when it was time to have a pap smear.

I went walking with my neighbor early this morning. It was the first time to go walking in over a month. It felt good to walk but sure was cold this morning. I bundled up well but sure missed having hair to help my head stay warm. I had two hats on but still was cold in the beginning but after walking awhile I got to sweating so it was okay. Well, thanks for your prayers and encouragement. Love you all.....

Psalm 116:5-6 The Lord is gracious and righteous; Our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.

quick note

2010-01-02T20:35:00.000-08:00

I Chronicles 16:25 Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.

Not much going on these past few days. My radiated area is healing--pink now instead of red. And peeling, oh, how it's peeling and itchy. It is still tender and painful at times--mainly when I lie down and when I stretch my left arm. I keep wanting to peel the skin away. I've always been bad about doing that to sunburns. However, the skin is thicker than when it's just a sunburn--weird. I am to have a cholestrol blood test next week on Monday, so trying to eat right. The last time I was tested (in Oct) , we had gone out of town so ate out which is not normal for me and my cholestrol level was high. I am wondering if it's the way I had eaten the few days before the test so I haven't done really much to change my eating habits so that I can really see this time. It wasn't that high, just a little over the normal level. I've always been normal before.

Larry and I went shopping today and I wore the newer wig. He doesn't mind it at all. Just seems so short and poofy on top. Oh,. well........maybe soon I'll not have to wear a wig. Have a great day. Love you all......keep those prayers up that the radiated area will heal soon. It's been over 2 weeks since the last treatment and I'm still dealing with it. Impatient, I guess.....lol.

Luke 17:19 Then he said to him, "Rise and go; your faith has made you well..."

wig

2009-12-31T18:01:00.000-08:00

I Chronicle 16:10-11 Glory in His Holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rerjoice. Look to the Lord and his strength, seek his face always.

My hair is really starting to grow--blonde looking but not curly. I acutally shaved my legs the other day--was the first time in months. It felt good, hard to imagine since I hate shaving. lol. I went into town to go shopping today and decided to wear another wig that I got back in May from the American Cancer society. It is very short--not me at all but I wore it. My son took a picture which I will put on this post. A friend said she liked it and my daughter, wasn't too sure about it--"interesting hairstyle". In other words....you are crazy!!! lol. Oh, well.....who knows, maybe I will continue to wear it. I got a terrible headache while in town which is unusual for me and it went away after i took my wig off. Wonder if there is a connection... I told you that I am trying to lose weight by using my Wii Fit Plus. I have lost almost 5 pounds in 2 days. Wow, lost all my Christmas weight. I hope I can continue to lose the pounds. My skin at the radiated site is looking awful--like an alligator--lol. It is dry and peeling but thick and just so rough feeling. Not sure if the aloe vera gel is helping but I am trying to apply it often. Still hurts to sleep on my side but it is getting some better.

I am looking forward to the new year. I am praying that 2010 is a wonderful year and I am wishing each of you a happy , happy new year!!! Thanks for being interested in my life and my journey through cancer. Some of you I know but there are others that I don't know and yet, you continue to check up on me and I hope you are praying for me and growing closer to God as I am. Love you all....

Galatians 6:2a Carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Great news on finances

2009-12-30T15:19:00.000-08:00

Psalm 118: 28-29 You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lored, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Great news!!!! I went to the cancer center here in my town to talk about my bill. In case you don't know, I took about 15 treatments here in my town and realized that the center is not part of my insurance's plan so they paid very little. I went to San Antonio when I discovered that my insurance wasn't paying for I should be 100% covered if the center I go to is in the plan. That means that I shouldn't be paying anything except co-pays for doctor visits. So. since I had 15 treatments, my bill was getting quite high--thousands of dollars. I went to see if I could pay a lesser amount for no one had told me that they were not part of the hospital system that their building is in--they just rent the building space. That is why I didn't check to see about my insurance for they are in the same building as my doctors and chemo clinic, so I thought they were part of the same system. Anyway, at this moment, the bill for the center was up to $10,000 with more to come and I asked if I could give just $5000 and call it good and they discussed it and said yes!!!!! My sweet mom had given me a $5000 check to help with the bill so I gave that to them. The business director came out to see me and thanked me for wanting to settle my bill. I was surprised that he did that but maybe they are happy not to have to "come after me to pay" or maybe something else,....who knows but anyway, they were nice about it all. I then asked about the doctor's bill. They went to talk to the doctor and he decided to charge me medicare rate and my insurance paid even more than medicare would have so I don't owe a penny there!!! God is so good. Oh, how I prayed today---all day-- that their hearts would be softened and understanding. Thanks for your prayers!!!! God does hear!!!

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs accordking to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Tuesday

2009-12-29T07:14:00.000-08:00

I Samuel 3:18 He is the Lord, let him do what is good in his eyes.

The year 2009 is nearly at the end. This has not been the best year for me nor for my family. We had 3 family memebers with cancer this past year. But, God is so good, for in a way, this has been a good year. I have grown closer to God and have learned to trust Him completely. I've been reading a devotional book that was given to me by Valerie G. and it talks alot about suffering and how God uses it for our good; to make ua a better person. We all have to suffer at some time or another and we need to remember that it is in our best interest for we become stronger and a better person if we allow God to use it for His purpose. KK, you have suffered quite a bit too with the loss of a child and I know God is using this time in your life too to make you into a stronger and better person. Praying for you.

Ouch, my kitten just jumped on my chest and wants to sleep there but oh, it's so tender so had to move him. It is still red and peeling. The worse spot, on the bottom area almost looks like a scab but I've not had any bleeding. Last night I woke up with my nightgown stuck to my chest and it wouldn't peel off easily so waiting until morning so I could wet the gown to get it unstuck. I wonder when this will clear up. The first area that was radiated didn't go through this much trouble but it didn't have the high dosage of radiation.

I am really in need of losing weight so yesterday I worked out with my Wii Fit Plus that I got for Christmas. In fact, the whole family had fun working out with it. I did it again this morning. I can't do all the exercises for it hurts to raise my left arm up high but I can do most and I should exercise that arm so the chest muscles doesn't get too stiff. Should do it again this afternoon and as soon as weather is dryer and not so cold, will start walking again with my neighbor. Thanks for all of your prayers. Love you all.....

Romans 5:3 We also rejoice in our suffereings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance, perserverance characther, and character hope.

Peeling

2009-12-27T19:59:00.000-08:00

Jeremiah 32:26 I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I enjoyed being with my family and my mom. My son gave me a breast cancer ornament which is really cool and my mom gave me a pink jacket that says 'Celebrate life' with a breast cancer ribbon on it

By the way, when I described my radiated area, I described it wrong in the shape....it does look like an eggplant but I had it upside down. The narrow part is nearer the nipple whereas the bottom part is at the top area. Anyway, the skin is peeling and it looks grey (the peeling skin). Yuck. And the skin underneath is raw looking....not oozing but looks like it could anytime. There is no way I can wear a bra---hurts too much. However, I was able to sleep all night in my bed. Pain wasn't too bad so was able to stay in my bed. I am so ready for this burn to completely heal. It's hard to even raise my left arm up all the way for it causes pain but I just keep going as best as i can. It's going to be okay. Now, about my wig....I am wearing a headband to cover up the bangs, at least part of it. I don't think you can tell much unless you really look at it. I don't particular like the way I have to wear the headband but at least I can wear the wig. My hair is growing....my eyebrows are really growing and I had to shave hair off my chin!!! lol. won't be long when I won't need the wig.

Psalm 3:5-6 I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.

Christmas Eve incident

2009-12-25T05:28:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!!!!

Just a quick note!! Last night I ruined my wig!!! Yes, I singed it by taking a pie out of the oven for my stepmom at my dad's house. We were celebrating Christmas Eve with them. Sarah said my hair was messed up but I thought it was just caused by the wind--it was a windy day. But when looking in the mirror, I noticed it looked strange and then it dawned on me,....it's melted some. It looks awful. It's the bangs.....so, now what am I going to do. I still need to wear a wig. It cost me $70!!! I have some free ones but I really don't like them. I was close to tears. Early this morning while still half asleep, I was thinking about the wig. I never wear it at home when cooking so never had a problem with taking things out of the oven. It never occured to me that I could ruin my wig that way. I will admit that I was slightly upset with God for letting that happen---as if it was his fault. I rarely get upset with Him but I was thinking that He's not going to repair it so why.......why, did it happen; after all I was helping out, being nice. Silly me...it's just a wig. Sarah thinks she can fix it since she works with wigs in the theatre but I don't see how anything can be done to fix it.....oh, well......I'm not going to let it ruin my Christmas ...after all I will just wear my Santa's hat. :) Merry Christmas!!! Love you....

Luke 2:10-11 I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord!!!

Chrstmas Eve

2009-12-24T06:09:00.000-08:00

Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!! It surprises me that I am still having pain and that it seems worse when I lie down to sleep. I can't lie on my side for the pain is really bad. I hate sleeping on my back so about 1:30 am, I got up to sleep in the recliner which helped. I will try to describe what my radiated area looks like. It is shaped like an eggplant with the narrow part high up between the breasts (like in the sternum area) and the bottom part goes toward the nipple but not that far down. The bottom part on the left side is where the worse burn is located--almost blistered but not quite. So, when trying to sleep on my side, that area gets scrunched up and hurts. When I put on a bra, it lifts the breasts and hurts that area too. Ouch....I know that this pain will subside. It also feels dry and is trying to peel in some areas. I put on that aloe vera gel quite frequently. The bad thing about the aloe vera gel is that it is sticky so my clothes gets stuck on the area and hurts to peel it off. I'm always afraid that skin will peel off but it never does. lol. Some of the scar from the lumpectomy is quite red from the radiation and it's tender to touch. Maybe my description helps you to understand somewhat where the pain is and how it looks. I feel so old at times for I get so stiff after sleeping or sitting for awhile. Hard to move around. I don't know if that is from any medication or what. That is a side effect from the pill I will be taking starting in Feb. but I haven't had it yet. But all in all, I am doing pretty well. I saw a lady at the bank yesterday (she works there) that I have known for years and she thought my wig was really my hair and that I had just dyed it or something. She didn't realize I had cancer and she said I look pretty good. Yes, you can't really tell that I've been through cancer treatments. God has been so good to me. Well, enjoy your Christmas and remember that Jesus is the reason we celebrate Christmas. He was born to save us--he suffered for us. He understands all about suffering--what a great Savior. Thanks for your prayers.

I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.

Wig

2009-12-23T05:57:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy 33:27a The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are teh everlasting arms....

Wigs need cleaning too like hair but not as often. Well, I've not washed my wig in a long time for I need a good day at home where I don't need to wear my wig. It takes a long time for a wig to dry for you can't use any heat--no blow dryer. I finally washed my wig on Monday night for I knew it needed a good cleaning. It didn't look dirty but just seemed dry and , well, not sure how to explain it but I just knew it needed something. I washed it with regular shampoo and after the water emptied out of my bathroom sink, there was lots of dirt left behind. I didn't realize it was that dirty!!!!! It looks better now and it is finally dried so I can wear it today. I will be so happy not to wear a wig again. My hair is so slow in growing back. It is a daily reminder too of my 'cancer situation'. Last night I wore my Santa hat when company came over for dinner. The man questioned on where my hair was--wasn't sure that my hair was a wig. I thought he knew. I hope he wasn't uncomfortable but I don't think so. He used to work with a woman who wore hats to work, never wore a wig.

My radiated area is still hurting. The time it bothers me the most is at bedtime. I have a hard time getting comfortable. You would have thought that the pain would have subsided by now but no, it's still there. Some of the redness is lessening but there are areas that is still quite red. As I type this, my kitten is sitting on my chest where it hurts but he is so little and light that he really doesn't make it hurt more. lol. Hope you are all ready for Christmas. I am done--now,it's time to clean the house and just enjoy time with my boys and husband. Merry Christmas to each of you. I am so thankful that I am here to enjoy Christmas. When you have cancer, you see things differently. I am not taking my life for granted but am feeling blessed to be here. Thanks again for your prayers. Love you all.....

I Chronicles 16:8-9 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.

Onocologist visit and Herceptin infusion

2009-12-21T15:45:00.000-08:00

I Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.

Saw the onocologist today. He said that my cancer markers were good...in other words, no signs of cancer. Yippee!!!! I told him that the doctor in San Antonio saw a shadow on the cat scan and was concerned. He said we'll do another cat scan sometime. He decided not to start the Arimidex (anti-estrogen medication) now so that I can have a break!!! Will start it in Feb. when I see him next (Feb. 1). I am to have a echocardiogram (checking my heart) on Jan. 15 to be sure the Herceptin hasn't caused any heart damage. I had Herceptin today and it infused without any problems. My port is doing well!!! I also had my coumadin level checked and it was where it needed to be which makes it 2 times in a row that it is good so I don't have to go back for a month--the first time. I usually go every 2 or 3 weeks. So, today was good news day!!! So nice before Christmas. I finished reading the book "After breast Cancer". It was a good book and so helpful. My radiated area still bothers me and looks an angry red but no blisters. It is almost itchy too. Can't scratch it!!! Wearing a bra definitely bothers me so I am actually going out this evening without one---yikes. I have my support undershirt thing on which helps and will probably put on a jacket too. Just going to a store while my boys are at basketball practice. Thanks for your prayers---couldn't have made it without your prayers and support. Love you all......

I Chronicles 16:10-11 Glory in His Holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and His strength; seek his face always.

Sunday

2009-12-20T18:33:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 23:18 There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

I received a DVD from a friend of my mom's a week or so ago but haven't watched it yet until today. This friend has breast cancer too. The DVD is called "Stepping into the Ring" and it is a testimony of Nicole Johnson who has breast cancer. She talks while in a boxing ring and she pretends to be boxing as she speaks. She talks about how she reacted when she received the news of having breaast cancer which she felt so angry and then the despair (an enemy as she calls it that attacks anyone going through any loss) she went through but then she found hope after she turned back to God. She heard a nurse read to a patient from Isaiah that says ' Your hope will not be cut off.'' Your breast might get cut off but hope doesn't get cut off". She talks about how we can have hope no matter what we are going through whether it's cancer, bad marriage, divorce, some other illness, loss of a child, or whatever. I loved what she said 'I have cancer but cancer doesn't have me." She goes on to say that we may have hair loss or breast loss but it can't have our heart nor our spirit." It was a short testimony but oh, so moving. This friend of my mom's sent a pair of small pink boxing gloves too. I will hang them up and it will remind me of hope and that cancer doesn't have my heart nor spirit!!!! I really feel so blessed not to have gone through the anger nor despair like she did. I did have moments of sadness and wondering why.... but never despair nor depression. I took hold of that hope in the very beginning. She does have humor too: such as saying "with breasts , they pleased my husband, fed my babies, and made my stomach look smaller. " 'Not to balance check books while on pain killers. " I tried to find the verse in Isaiah that she quoted by using the internet and I found it in Proverbs (I wrote it on top)..... Just wanted to share with you about this DVD. We all go through some kind of trial or tough times and we can all grab hold of hope in God and trust Him to carry us through these tough times. I believe in the power of prayers too and I do believe so much that prayer is what got me though my tough days. Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 9:18 But the needy will not always be forgotten, not the hopes of the afflicted ever perish,.

Saturday

2009-12-19T19:26:00.001-08:00

James 1:3-4 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

It was so nice to get to unpack my suitcase totally and put it back into the attic!!! We will be staying home for Christmas so no packing for awhile. My radiated area has a small section that seems to be extra burned but I don't think it's blistered but maybe close...I have been puttng aloe vera gel on more frequently. I didn't wear my bra for most of the day but this evening I did since we went to a party. I am really tired this evening for I didn't sleep so well last night--not sure why...will go to bed earlier tonight.

On Monday, I get my coumadin level checked again plus see the onocologist and then get Herceptin--my IV medication. I probably will be starting the oral anti-estrogen medication soon for the dr. said that when I complete radiation that I will be started on Arimedix (not sure if that is correct spelling and too lazy to go look it up --lol) It has side effects but I am praying that it won't bother me too much. I have to take it for 5 years.

Today I wore a santa hat instead of my turban at home. lol. I thought it looked cute. My hair is growing--I can really see that it's coming along. It's not curly but it is blonde. My eyelashes are really growing back and I wore mascara top and bottom eyelashes today. Cool. I am so ready to look normal again. Will be glad too when I can wear any shirt I want so hopefully the radiated area starts to look more normal quickly. The doctor said it will not be normal as before but should be close.....Yikes, we'll have to see. Oh, well.....shouldn't be showing that part off anyway. lol. Well, have a great day. Love you all and thanks again for prayers.

Proverbs 24:10 If thou faint in the day of adversity, they strength is small.

Last radiation treatment

2009-12-18T20:00:00.001-08:00

May this be a day when your heart lives in the beauty of God's love...abides in the strength of His joy...and rests in peace from above. "He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust. Psalm 91:4" (from a card)

I can't believe I am really done with radiation. It becomes a part of your life since you go practically every day and you get to know the people, etc but I am happy not to be going anymore. I will go back to see the doctor in San Antonio on Jan. 12. The techs were so sweet and gave me hugs. I do believe I am their youngest patient--where do the young ones go? All I ever saw were older and some very much older patients. I saw the doctor briefly today and he said I still could get blistered since he gave me a mega dose of radiation today. I am hurting--feels like a burn (well, lol, it is burned!!) I think it could be slightly swollen too for my bra left an imprint from where the edge of the bra was. I wanted to not wear a bra but since we were spending one night with a friend, i didn't get my big suitcase out and had only what i absolutely needed in a grocery bag and my support tank top thing was packed away. Tomorrow, I'll wear that instead of the bra.

When I went to my friend's last night, I tripped over their dog trying to get away from their puppy who was wanting to jump on me. I fell on their sidewalk and scraped up my knee and thumb and felt so foolish for falling. My friend who is actually not in good health herself was really concerned that I hurt my port but I wasn't hurt too bad. Silly me......but we had a great visit.

Today after radiation, we (the boys and I ) drove straight to our town and I had a chiropracter appt. My back has been hurting for several weekends. I needed an adjustment so hopefully, I will feel better now. I haven't been hurting very much at my sister's but I didn't do alot there either.

One of my friends who follows this blog gave me a gift today when we were at the boys basketball game (her husband is the coach--thanks Mrs. Coach) to celebrate my finishing radiaiton--how sweet!!! It's a pillow looking wall hanging that says "The Lord is my Strength and my Song Exodus 15:2" How sweet!!! It's blue and matches my house perfectly. It will remind me of how the Lord did give me strength to go through all that I've been through. I appreciate all of your prayers for without them, it would have been harder.

Thinking of you today---hope happy thoughts flutter around you today, bring you comfort and reasons to smile...

radiation day 32

2009-12-17T11:01:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 40: 30-31 Even youth grow tired and weary, and young ment stumble and fall; but those who hop in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Only one more day of treatment!!!! The radiated area is hurting today like a burn--ouch. And where it was radiated previously; it is peeling like after a sunburn. I will be glad when this is over and my skin can return to semi-normal. They say it will not be totally normal like before but I'm sure it won't too bad.

My eyelashes are growing longer and I can see the lower lashes growing in too. Also, my legs are ready for shaving. I've not really shaved since June!!!! Time to get back to that routine!! lol. Now, only if my hair would grow more so I can quit wearing anything at home. It will be awhile before I will go without my wig. My boys don't think I'm ready to go without my turban at home--lol. I think I almost look my nephew's crewcut.

My brother-in-law came home today around lunch time. He is doing pretty well but you can tell he is tired and probably hurting some too. I'm sure he is happy to be home!!!

Psalm 134:2 Lift up your hands in the sanctuary and praise the Lord!!!

radiation day 31

2009-12-16T19:34:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 40:28 The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

Only 2 more treatments!!!! I am so excited!!! It is interesting that the area where they are giving me the boost doses of radiation is really turning red whereas the other areas that was red is finally fading. The boost area is higher up so have to be so careful in what clothes I wear. I had to get blood work today. The lab tech wasn't bad but I've had better ones. It did hurt for a while after she took blood. After my treatment today, I went to visit my brother-in-law in the hospital since I drive right by it. He is doing pretty well but decided to stay an extra night to get rest, etc. He will come home tomorrow. I took my boys and his boys there this evening on our way downtown to the river walk. He was appreciative of the visit and we made it short so as not to wear him out plus we wanted to get downtown. We had a great time there but it got misty so we got wet but not much. We took a tour of the river by a boat, then we walked through the river center mall then walked to the Alamo to see the downtown Christmas tree. All so pretty. This morning I went walking which was nice for I've not excercised except walking around a mall which isn't the best of exercise, lol.

I've been reading today on a book called "After Breast Cancer". I had read some of it before but now I am trying to finish it. It's a good book. Made me think about how I feel about my cancer. I am not worrying about it coming back. I am leaving all that into God's hands; besides, I feel that I am healed!!! The book talks about doing something to remember the anniversary of either when you were diagnosed, or when you had surgery, or finished treatments or something that you can recall the date and to think each year, ao you can say "well...another year has gone by since my cancer". I think I will remember the day I was diagnosed as my anniversary date--March 26.

Tomorrow I am going to visit a friend that lives one hour from my sister's house and stay there overnight. She is like an older sister to me. I've known her since 1983. She's a school teacher and has been really busy but she will have time tomorrow for us. I am excited about seeing her. I may not get a chance to write on my blog tomorrow since I am going there right after my treatment and I doubt she has wireless internet there for she's not a computer person. Thanks for your prayers.

Isaiah 40:29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

raadiation day 30

2009-12-15T19:40:00.000-08:00

Psalm 57:2-3I cry out to God Most High to God who fulfills his puprpose for me. He sends from heaven and saves me.....

Wow!! Only 3 more days left!!! Someone mentioned that I should have a end of radiation party. this was suggested by a woman who had cancer 3 years ago. Ummmm....sounds fun. Not sure what to do though. Would love to get together with those in my town who have been following my blog...but not sure who all is doing that. You should comment and let me know exactly who you are...I have an idea who some of you may be---Sandy? Deja? Any others? :) My treatment really went fast today. I was in and out less than 15 minutes. One girl, has been there for every one of my treatments and we have gotten to know each other--she's probably in her mid 20's and is so sweet. Tomorrow I am to have lab work so have to call my doctor's office to have the lab work order faxed to the cancer center then they will give it to me to take to a lab in another hospital!! My, what I have to do to be sure insurance covers my bills!!! lol.

My sister's husband had his surgery today. It went fine but he's had problems with vomiting--probably from the anesthesia. I had that problem with each of my surgeries. He's had some pain too but was able to get pain medication. He should come home tomorrow. I am hoping to take my boys downtown to the river walk to look at lights. My oldest nephew wants to come too. It's suppose to rain so I'm praying that it won't . It was to rain today but didn't. It is cold but we can bundle up and have some fun. Thanks again for your prayers. Love you all.....

Psalm 14:19 A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.

radiation day 29

2009-12-14T18:26:00.000-08:00

Psalm 18:16, 19 He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Went back to San Antonio today--had safe trip but was so sleepy for some reason. Mondays are doctor visit days and weigh in day. My weight was down--amazing since it's Christmas time and I eat extra goodies at this time. lol. I had my treatment before seeing the doctor and they did the same kind of treatment as last week. Then I saw the doctor. He said that I would be done on Thursday which is a day earlier than I expected. I was so excited. Then he wanted to see how my skin was looking. The nurse and doctor was amazed that I was some red but no blisters. He said that many people get blisters like in a 2nd degree burns but I've not have that at all--because of prayers!!!! I am to come back Jan. 12 for a followup visit then just be followed by my onocologist. He was concerned about that shadowy area he saw on the CT Scan for he believes that the surgery didn't get all of the cancer. I don't know about that for on the pathology report it said that the margins around the cancer was clear which indicates that the cancer was all taken out. I'm not going to worry about it. God is in control. I went to the grocery store after my treament and while there, my doctor called. He said that after looking at my chart again and knowing that my skin is looking well, he had decided to do one more treatment--an extra mega dose!!! Oh, phooey, that means I am done on Friday now but that is okay since I expected that anyway.

My brother-in-law is having his prostate surgery tomorrow am. Pray for him. He seems to be in good spirits. He is taking a colon prep today which is not fun. I know since I did that just last month for my colonoscopy. I am glad I can be here to help out with their boys and anything else like send out emails. We had a good discussion this evening about having cancer. He has a great attitude too and is encouraing all men to have the PSA test. His high PSA was discovered when he went for a physical to be a boy scout leader who goes camping.

I looked at my insurance again and have decided that my insurance is paying for the doctor and clinic here. My husband just didn't understand how to read it. So, I was happy to find out that insurance is paying. Thanks for all your prayers and love.....

Psalm 118:1 Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love endures forever.

Sunday am

2009-12-13T04:30:00.001-08:00

Isaiah 46:4 I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you.; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

My radiation treatment went well on Friday and it was early so was able to come home early. I have a weird spot on my breast from the radiation. It is sorta of white while everything else is reddish-brown around it. Almost like the skin peeled off but it's not. Weird. Doesn't hurt. But the whole breast sometimes feels bruised-like but at least it doesn't feel like a burn. I am hoping that next week is my last week. We got a notice from the insurance and they didn't pay 100% on the doctor's bill for the first day so not sure what is up with that. I need to check it out. Makes me frustated since that is why I am having treatments in San Antonio; to have 100% coverage. Argh.....

Pray for my brother-in-law...he has prostate cancer and is having his surgery on Tuesday. He seems to be doing okay but I hope to have a better talk with him tomorrow about it. We might have to stay in a different place after he gets home from surgery which I understand him being uncomfortable with us there. It's a wait and see thing right now. A friend who lives further south wants us to come and spend Thursday night with her...maybe....she's a teacher and is busy at this time of year. I hope we do get to see her.

I've been having problems with my back lately and is really bothering me this weekend. I have to sit down and rest quite a bit which is frustrating when I have so many things to do. I have scoliosis so have dealt with back pain all my adult life. I tried to get in to see the chiropracter for they used to be open on Saturdays but not any more. I will try to get an appt. for Friday when I come back home next week. I received a sweet package from a friend of my mother's (I don't even know the lady). She had breast cancer a year ago and so understands what I am going through. She sent a DVD with little pink boxing gloves (small) which I am assuming it goes along with the DVD. I've not watched it yet but I'm thinking it has to to do with breast cancer. Well, thanks again so much for your prayers and faithfulness in keeping up with my blog. The end of radiation is near and it is exciting to know that this phase of my treatment is nearly over. !!!! yea!!!!

Isaiah 49:13 ...for the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

radiation day 27

2009-12-10T20:08:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 49:13 Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains. For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones!!

I noticed something today---my eyelashes are growing back in. I asked my sister if she could see them and she said she had also noticed that they are coming in but she thinks they are still too stubby to start wearing mascara again. She thinks my eyelashes are growing back in too. I also noticed hair on my legs!!!! Can you ever imagine being excited about hair growing on your legs. lol. If it was summer, I would want to be shaving but it's not really alot of hair and so blonde looking. Okay, for the top of my head, maybe it's growing some but so slow....... I think my wig is getting yucky looking--probably needs a good washing. It takes a long time to dry so I've not washed it lately. You can't use any heat so no blow dryers. My sister and I ate lunch at Olive Garden today and some elderly woman walked by our table and said "Your hair is so shiny. I like it. ". I just smiled and said thanks.

Tomorrow I will be going back home!!!! Yea!!! My appointment is at 8:45 am so we will be leaving early. I did lots of Christmas shopping today with my sister and am almost done. That will save me some time this weekend in not having to shop for gifts. Thanks for your prayers. Pray for safe travel for us. It is suppose to be raining here in San Antonio so slick roads.

Isaiah 4:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

radiaton day 26

2009-12-09T21:03:00.000-08:00

Psalm 103:1-3 Praise The Lord, O my soul, all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.

I had a different tech today that I've seen around but never with me. She was curious to know how red I was and asked the other tech if I was red and she said that yes, but was doing pretty good, that it wasn't very bad. Ummm, I guess many others have it really bad...maybe it's because of the aloe vera gel that I keep using. Some of the redness is sorta of turning a light brownish color--almost like a tan but a weirder brown. Oh, well..... I had to buy more aloe vera gel. Went to Target yesterday but they only carried the green kind and I am to use only the clear kind. Found some at Walmart today. I asked for an earlier time for Friday so I will be going in at 9 am--yea. That means I can get home earlier. We plan to decorate our Christmas tree Friday evening so this will give me time to get home and put the tree up and put the lights on. I can't remember ever putting my tree up so late--usually it gets done quite early. I'm not there to enjoy it anyway. My sister has her tree up so that is nice.

Today my breast felt sore again but doesn't really hurt. I want you to know that having radiation isn't really that bad. I talked to a friend today and she thought that it might be making me sick like chemo does. She was amazed how well I sounded--I really feel great. I hope to be seeing this friend, Susan, next week for she lives south of here but not far.

I visited the house that we will probably stay in for a night or two next week when my brother-in-law comes home from his surgery. It has a nice kitchen but no couch for the living area or really any chairs except the kind you have in a Sunday classroom with those big tables. It has a bed and the boys will have to sleep on cots but they are doing that here at my sister's too. Probably no computer access either for me....:(. I am trying to plan activities for us to do so that we won't get too bored there. There is a DVD player with TV there on a rolling cart so hopefully it will stay. That would be helpful. It's just for a night or two. The church is nice to let us use it so no complaining here. God does provide. Thanks again for your prayers.

Psalm 145:17-19 The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving towards all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires on those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.

radiation day 25

2009-12-08T13:22:00.000-08:00

Psalm 73:25-26 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desirre besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

It was so nice today for they got me in and out within 15 minutes--a record for them with me!!! My left breast is starting to hurt or at least bother me. It feels like it's heavy and bruised. I've not been wearing a bra but a support thing that looks like a spaghetti strap shirt. I don't know if it's just from getting radiation or from not wearing a bra or both. Anyway, we are about to go shopping so I did put on a bra. The nurse didn't say I couldn't wear a bra but try not to wear it around the house, so I put one on that doesn't have the wire support. The nurse and tech both said that I shouldn't wear the wire kind. I am also feeling really tired this afternoon . At least my sister will be the one driving when we go shopping. My boys wanted to see the huge bass pro shop and my sister says it is pretty neat. One of my boys is planning on doing Christmas shopping too. I might get some done too but I'm almost all done anyway. My oldest nephew is coming along too so we are waiting for him to get out of school. The youngest nephew has an out of town basketball game and as you can tell, we are not going to it. Sorry,.....Michael. He understands. My sister today went to her church today for prayer group and she asked about us using one of the houses that the church owns. They said it will work out; one group is suppose to use it but my sister is going to find out if they are canceling thier group next week. The bad thing is that there is no TV so it could be quite boring for my boys but maybe we can watch a movie on my computer or go somewhere. There is still another place we could stay so we will check that one out too. I wanted to let you know that when the radiation machine is going off, I can hear the sound and while it is doing it, I pray :"Please kill all the cancer cells" over and over until the machine turns off,. It takes about 25-30 seconds!!! Well, thanks for your prayers and love....

Psalm 86 1-2 Hear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy . Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God; save your servant who trusts in you.

radiation day 24

2009-12-07T14:37:00.000-08:00

Psalm 69:30 I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.

Before going back to San Antonio today, I had to get my blood checked for the coumadin level. Yea, the level was where it is suppose to be. So, no changes on my dosages. We finally left town after running several small errands. It was foggy for about 1 1/2 hours then finally the fog lifted but in San Antonio, it is misting. I went for my radiation treatment, praying that a plan was made and that I would get a treatment. Sure, enough...a plan was made. They are now giving my radiation straight forward. All my other treatments have been from the sides in a diagonal direction. Also, the machine was really close to my skin so no more use of the bolus. It is a boost dose which means a higher level of radiation was given. I asked how many days I had left and the tech told me 9 more days. I don't know if that included today's treatment (I asked before I got the treatment) or not. Even if it means I have 9 more after today's treatment, I will finish when I thought I would; Dec. 18. But she said I might have to come back for a reassessment. Right now, I will be staying at a different place than my sister's for the last 2-3 days since my brother-in-law is having surgery and would be uncomfortable with us here. I understand that. There are 2 choices so my sister and I will check those out this week. One is at a friend's of my sister who has a mother-in-law suite with own kitchen and living area but it is a little further away from the medical center (a very nice home for my sister went there this past weekend for a party) and the other place is a house owned by her church but it is used for other things but may not be busy due to Christmas season. She will check it out tomorrow. Thanks for your prayers--they sure worked!!!

Psalm 73:28 But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.

radiation day 23

2009-12-04T19:22:00.000-08:00

Psalm 57:1 Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the diaster has passed.

It was nice to get in so early and everyone was in such a jovial mood. They seem excited for me to get to go home. They are always interested in my life. Such sweet girls.... Today the nurse wanted to check out my breast to see how it is looking. It is red and she said my bra is soft enough but she didn't want me to wear an underwire one which it is so she suggested that I not wear a bra while home this weekend. Yuck, I hate doing it but I have on a big sweatshirt that I bought just in case this happens. I am not hurting at all. I am so tired today though.

We traveled home after much thought and wondering if that is the right thing to do since it had snowed in our town and there was to be snow while traveling. However, it all went well--not icy. It was beautiful to see the snow come down and collect on the side of the road and in the pastures and ranch land. By the time we got to our town, the sun was already shining, snow melting, and roads were drying up. It is so nice to be back home. Can't wait to sleep in my own warm bed. My cats are happy to see us too. Thanks for your prayers... The tech said they don't know what they will be doing to me next week--might not even get a treatment on Monday but just see the doctor. That isn't good for that might mean I will have come back on Dec. 21 and I don't want to do that. Pray they will do a treatment on Monday.

I Thessalonians 5:16 Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in al circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Radiation day 22

2009-12-03T18:43:00.000-08:00

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Nothing exciting happened today!!! :) I am red and it hurt a bit for about an hour but only in a small area. They are letting me have radiation tomorrow at 8:15 so I can leave early for home. It might be snowing in my town but I am going to try to get home. I talked with the wife whose husband had radiation right before me. His last one is tomorrow and it will be 38 treatments. I asked the tech today how many days I will having treatments and she said the doctor will decide that tomorrow or next week. I was hoping only for 33 treatments. We'll see..... Well, keep me in your prayers as I travel home tomorrow. I will check TX DOT before I leave to be sure the highways are safe!!! Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 56:3-4 When I am afraid I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to m e?

radiation day 21

2009-12-02T19:16:00.000-08:00

I Samuel 3:18 He is the Lord, let him do what is good in his eyes.

Today they got me in and out of radiation much faster than usual--yea!!! I am definitely getting
redder--seems more so under my arm. But there isn't any pain with the redness. I'm not sure if there will be but just waiting to see what happens. My bra that I usually wear is sorta of new but it rubs against my skin and makes it red so I decided today to get another bra. I shopped at Kohl's (we don't have that store in my town so enjoyed going to it. ) I found one that I liked so hopefully it will work out fine. I hate to have to wear a new bra with all that aloe vera gel getting it dirty and the marks on my skin sometimes come off onto my bra but washes out without problems. I let my sister look at my head yesterday--hair not growing much--but she thinks it is a tad curly and going to be blonde. One of the chemo nurses told me this past Monday that hair grows slower in the winter months. No, no.....I am ready for my hair to grow. I am so tired of wearing a wig or turban. Oh, welll.......someday....I will have hair again. I sure don't have to go get haircuts these days. lol. Well, have a great day and thanks for checking up on me. Love you......

Jeremiah 32:26 I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?

radiation day 20

2009-12-01T17:25:00.001-08:00

Psalm 62:2 He also is my Rock, and my salvation, he is my fortrress, I will not be shaken.

Today they did something different at radiation. I got my first boost and will have at least 3 more boosts. A boost is a higher dose of radiaiton. But the intersting thing is what they put on my skin. It is called a bolus--looks rubbery, peachy translucent colored , and about 1/2 inch thick. They use it to fool the machine in thinking it is skin so that they get the radiation more to the surface. The doctor is wanting a certain area to be radiated due to a shadow he saw on the CT scan and not sure what it is. Wants to be sure to get it in case it is cancer. There were 5 people around me trying to decide exactly where it needs to go. Then more came in so they could show them where it goes for some reason--maybe in case they work on me another time. No need to be embarrassed these days. They are all so nice so that it is easy to let them do what they need to do. They traced around the bolus so now I am marked up even more. Good thing I can hide it. I am starting to turn red but doesn't hurt. I am putting the aloe vera gel on more often.

Today is cold and dreary here in San Antonio--rainy most of the day. I am freezing--brrrr....not so tired today which is nice. I slept well last night. Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 32:7 You are my hiding place, you will protect me form trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.

Herceptin and Radiation day 19

2009-11-30T18:15:00.000-08:00

Psalm 116:5-6 The Lord is gracious and righteous; Our God is full of compassionl. The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.

Had Herceptin infusion today at the chemo clinic in my town. Dropped the boys off at the library to do school work while I had my medication. I told them about my problems with the radiation center not being covered by my insurance. They said that they didn't even know for a while that it wasn't part of that medical system. Anyway, they were able to get the Herceptin in quickly so I was finished by 10 am. Picked up the boys and off we went to San Antonio. While receiving the Herceptin, I really got tired and was just about to take a short nap when the infusion pump went off saying it was done. I was tired all the way to San Antonio. Brandon brought his guitar so played it in the car and we sang together which was fun and kept me wide awake. I am still tired!!! We got to San Antonio in time for me to drop off the boys at my sister's and unpack the car. Then I left for my radiation treatment. I realized that I didn't have my parking permit--Larry had taken it off the dashboard and put it on the clip on the console but it wasn't there anymore. I searched around it but couldn't find it. I parked in the cancer center parking anyway and asked the secretary for another one. I think I caught her at a bad time (they had just received an unexpected patient belonging to a different dr. that doesn't come there often) for when I asked, she gave me a look that could have killed. Apparently, you get only one permit but she let me sign in some logbook. Maybe because I am tired, I was also emotional and just wanted to cry and thought, what a silly thing to get upset about. On my way out, I saw a parking lot not too far away that doesn't cost. Most of them cost to use. Today, I saw the doctor and he informed me that I am going to get burned. The doctors always say that to me. Guess it will happen but who knows when. I also had x-rays--they always do it on Mondays plus weigh you. I asked if I could have an earlier time on Friday so I could leave earlier to go home and so now I am scheduled for 10:45 am instead of 2:30 pm. That is great since my boys do have a basketball game that night.

After my radiation treatment, I went to my nephew's high school to watch his basketball game but got lost on the way. It should have been easy to get there for I was on the right street which would have taken me to his high school but at one point, it turns left at a light, and I just kept on going straight. I finally figured out that something wasn't right so turned around, then stopped at a shopping center and looked at my map. Called my sister to say I was late and lost but I think I figured it out. lol. Finally got there at the same time as my brother-in-law. I was starving for some reason so ate my sandwich that my sister made for us at 4:30. After my nephew's basketball, I decided to leave. My sister had to work the concession stand and the boys stayed too so I went to the grocery store and now I am at my sister's all alone--well the dog is sleeping next me while I sit on the couch. lol. Sweet dog. So nice and quiet here. I may go to bed early tonight!!! I really worked alot this past weekend doing so much at home to get ready to come back to San Antonio. I think that is why I am so tired. Well, thanks for your prayers and love......

Psalm 142:1-3 I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift my voice to the Lored for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I t ell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way.

Thanksgiving holiday

2009-11-28T20:26:00.000-08:00

Psalm 145:3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.

I hope each one of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!! I have so much to be thankful for: God, family, friends, freedom, church, and even my health. I am still alive and can look forward to many more years of living. Yes, I have breast cancer but I can beat this and survive for who knows how long. My mom went to a birthday party today for a lady who turned 100 years old. She had breast cancer when she was 80 years old and that was 20 years ago and she is still ticking!!!!

I didn't get to write what happened right before I went to my mom's for Thanksgiving--when I left San Antonio. My onocologist's office called to say I needed blood work before I get my Herceptin on Monday. There was no way I was going to get to my doctor's office so they faxed the lab work order to the cancer center where I get radiation. They gave me the order and sent me next door to a lab that I thought my insurance would cover. It took me awhile just to find the lab and when I finally did, turns out that my insurance doesn't cover that lab but they knew where I could go. It was to a lab a couple of blocks away in a hospital but I wasn't sure where to park so went around the block--huge block and decided to park in the parking garage. We noticed that the sign said that you don't have to pay if parked for only 30 minutes so our goal was to get in and out within that time frame. We found the lab and luckily they didn't have anyone there. After filling out all the data ,we were afraid that they couldn't do it due to not finding my doctor listed in my town (he had moved here about a year ago) but luckily, they found him listed in Texas. They took my blood and off we went. Whew, we got out of there before 30 minutes!!!! Praise God. We left there and went on to my mom's --a 5 hour trip and boy, was the interstate busy!!!!

We got home today and I've been busy doing laundry, grocery shopping, Christmas decorating, and some house cleaning. I am quite tired but just keep plugging on with a few rest breaks (like now--lol) for I don't have much time since I leave again on Monday morning. It will be so nice to sleep in my own bed tonight. Any maybe a cat or two will sleep with me--missed those cats. lol
Another thing I am thankful for is all of you who take the time to read my blog and keep up with my journey through cancer and boy , is it a journey; but we all have a journeys that we are embarking on. I pray that you will hang onto God while you g0 through your journey!!! Love you all................

Psalm 118:28-29 You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Radiation--halfway done!

2009-11-25T04:26:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 12:4 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted.

Yesterday was my 17th treatment and I have only 16 more to go!!! Yea--I am halfway done!! I am getting quite familiar now on how to get to the cancer center. The traffic hasn't been too bad but my sister informs me it's partly because the schools in this part of town have been out all week. I'll have to wait to see what the traffic is like next week. However, after I got to the cancer center, I had to wait around 45 minutes to get my treatment. In my town, I rarely had to wait and never that long. Oh, well..... After my treatment today, my boys and I will be traveling to my mom's which is 5 hours away!! I will get to see what my sister has to go through to travel to my mom's every time. lol. Christopher can drive so I will let him drive part of the way. That will be nice. My husband and Sarah will leave this afternoon for my mom's too and I can't wait to see them.

Last night we went to my younger nephew's basketball game again but this time they were doing a fundraiser for cancer so the team was wearing pink socks and they had pink t-shirts over their uniform when not playing. Lots of people were wearing pink. Brandon and I were wearing pink t-shirts that I got from doing a Pink Ribbon Run (fundraiser for breast cancer in my town). They had all kinds of other things to raise money such as raffling 3 items, pink paper airplane contest, pink ribbons to buy and wear, and pink lemonade to purchase for a donation. My sister and I worked in the concession stand during the girl's game which was fun. I think my boys are getting quite bored being there and watching all those games. Of course, I kinda of laugh to myself for they are seeing what it is like for me to sit and watch their games and all the others that we stay and watch, especially during a tournament. But I do feel sorry for them for they are missing being with their friends and activities. This is a hard time for them but they haven't complained.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to spending time with my mom and youngest brother and his family. My sister is going to her in-laws this year since her father-in-law is celebrating his 70th birthday today. Thanks for all of your prayers . love, and support. Love you all.....

Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.

1st radiation in San antonio

2009-11-23T19:00:00.000-08:00

Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours.

Today I went to the cancer center to get a radiation treatment. My sister drove me there to show me how to get there. There are so many hospitals in this medical complex. We went into the hospital but couldn't find the cancer center. Even the admissions person didn't know exactly where it was (that was a little scary--lol). Anyway, we finally found out and went in the back way. We now know how to get in the front way--lol--for they have an outside entrance and parking nearby--yea!!! I saw the dr. and he was nice but concerned for he thinks my first dr. was radiating too much of my lungs (I didn't even realize any of the lungs were being radiated). he said that could cause pulmonary fibrosis in later years if not careful so he is going to change the direction the rays go in. At first he said that we would get the set up today and then start the radiation on wednesday then realized they are going to be closed for the holidays on Thursday and Friday so decided that maybe they could start today. I have to wear this interesting bra looking thing to lift up my breasts to better radiate them. Very interesting. I leave it there and will wear it each time I go. Everyone at the cancer center was nice. I went back to my sister's house for lunch and did some schooling with the boys. They called me around 2:30 and told me to be there in 30 minutes so they could do my first radiation treatment there. Luckily, it takes about 20 minutes to get there. And I drove myself there this time and didn't get lost. They had to take lots of x-ray pictures so I had to lie still for a while so was happy when they finally finished. They really marked me up with their permanent marker -lots more than the center before. I won't be able to wear some of my shirts--oh, well........ I will be getting my radiation treatments in the afternoons. I had hoped to get my treatments in the morning except for Mondays but I guess since they knew I needed Monday afternoons they gave me all afternoons. That means when I leave for the weekend, I will have to leave later than i would like but that's okay. I need Monday afternoons for I have things to do in my town on Monday mornings like getting Herceptin, seeing the onocologist, etc. The boys will be able to get their schooling done on Friday mornings for I had planned to have them do it in the car which is sometimes hard to do--lots of distractions. After I was finished with the radiation treatment, I came back 'home' and put lots of aloe vera gel on. I really don't want to get burned.

My sister has had several offers for help--meals and even places for me to stay. Some of them think I am an 'invalid', for one lady commented that it wouldn't be good for me to stay with her for I would find it hard to manage the stairs. We thought that was funny. I am far from being an invalid but it is sweet that she has some caring friends. So far things are going well at my sister's. Her youngest son does have lots of school work involving computer work so he was up late which means my boys were up late since they were sleeping in the computer room (a study). And today, Brandon was one grumpy boy but they will adjust......I do so appreciate my sister for letting us stay. Now I am praying that insurance will pay for all of this!!!!! Thanks for your prayers too.

John 14:13-14 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

Leaving for San Antonio

2009-11-22T06:07:00.001-08:00

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Today is the day my boys and I leave for San Antonio to stay with my sister and her family for a few weeks. We will come home for the weekends, so that is going to be alot of traveling but that's okay. You have to do what is best for the circumstances and this is the best way in this situation. I am already pretty much packed. I don't want to be a burden for my sister so we are helping with meals, taking paper goods, etc. My oldest nephew (a senior in high school)is giving up his bedroom for me to sleep in. He will share with his brother but that means he has to sleep on a cot but he did that all summer at boy scout camp so he doesn't mind. What a sweet nephew. My boys will also be sleeping on cots in the dining room area--an area that isn't used much. This will be adventure and during the Christmas season which makes it different. I love Christmas and to decorate, bake, and do all kinds of fun things so it will be interesting to see how this goes this season. I took down all my fall stuff yesterday so when I come next weekend, I can get started with Christmas decorating. The fun thing will be getting to do my shopping in a much bigger city!!! Lots of choices--maybe too many. lol.

I think my hair is starting to grow again. I am so ready for it to grow. Tired of wearing hats and wigs. Well, thanks for your prayers. Tomorrow I go to the new place and get all set up again. I wonder if they will do radiation too. I hope so. The sooner, the better so I can come home to stay. Love you all....

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Friday--Nov. 20

2009-11-20T15:13:00.000-08:00

Psalm 9:18 Thsoe who know your name will trust in You, for you, lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Looks like I am off to San Antonio to finish up my radiation treatments. I had a few scares for I called insurance today to be sure they will cover the set up for radiation and the guy said that the hospital wasn't covered but in the process of recertification but said I should get the tax ID to be sure. I called the hospital and they said they checked and I am covered but she gave me the tax ID so I called back and sure enough, I am covered there. yea!!!!! I talked to the doctor who will be treating me. He was confused on why I was coming so explained to him and he understood but thought it was terrible that I had to go down there. He says the doctors and patients get caught in the middle. He said he would even treat me for free but I told him that he was covered by my insurance. What a nice dr. Anyway, I am to be there on Monday morning. The nurse said they never had anyone transfer after receiving so many treatments but she understood my reasoning when I explained. She seemed nice. I have to admit, I was getting quite frustrated and teary there for awhile. I almost wanted to quit again but don't worry Mother, I won't .....I even said that to the dr. and he said, no, you can't do that.

I did not take any radiation treatments yesterday or today. My dr. said it was okay to miss these days. I had to call to reschedule some dr. appts. and my coumadin level checks. I went in today to get coumadin level checked and it was high again. I am trying to get any appts on Mondays so hopefully I can get radiation treatment on Monday at a late time and then travel to San Antonio on Monday. It will be harder for my boys to do school in the car but they have done it before.

Today I have been so scatterbrained with my thoughts going everywhere trying to get things ready for my trip. So much to do.....did laundry, started to pack clothes, gathered up school books and items we will need plus made lesson plans for the next 2 weeks. Plus I had to do school with the boys today--I was behind in reading Chemistry (yes, I have to read it then go over it with the boys even though they have read it too but they seem to need extra teaching on it. ) There were many other little things to do too. Tonight we are going to watch a play at the college where my daughter is the assistant stage manager. Tomorrow we are going out of town for a basketball game. I know I should stay home but I want to support my boys and maybe even see my mom since it's near her. I will be taking my laptop plus my sister does have a computer so I will continue to blog my experiences. Thanks for all your prayers. Just pray that the insurance really does cover this and just for all of us to adjust to being in a different place and for my sister and her family as they adjust to us being there. Pray that I remember everything I need to take. This will be a weird week with it being Thanksgiving for I will probably leave San Antonio and drive straight to my mom's to celebrate Thanksgiving there. Well, love you all and thanks again for your prayers.

Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Thursday--Nov. 19

2009-11-19T06:13:00.000-08:00

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Hard to believe it is mid-Novemeber already. Time sure flies by fast these days. Yesterday Larry was able to pull up a list of hospitals and doctors that our insurance covers. I went for my radiaiton treatments and one tech said that there are radiation treatments done in hospitals so I searched several hospitals online to see if they have radiation treatments. I finally found 3--Scott and White in Temple, one in Brownwood, and then one in San Antonio. I am going for the one in San Antonio for my sister lives there and I can stay with her. I called the one in San Antonio to be sure they are under my insurance and not renting space from that hospital. They gave me the doctor's phone number so I called the radiation center here to have them set up a time for me to go down. I haven't heard anything yet---hopefully today I will hear something. If this doesn't work out, we have decided we will just finish up here. My mother says she will help with the payments--thanks Mom. I know that God is in control and I just need to sit back and completely trust Him in this matter. He knew all along I wasn't being covered well by insurance so there must be a reason for all this--maybe for me to have complete faith in Him!!!

So far, I am doing well with the radiation treatments---not really red yet. Sometimes it is a little pinkish but not all the time. It doesn't hurt at all so able to wear my bra--lol. I wish my hair would hurry up and start growing. I am so ready. My head gets cold without hair!!!! :) Thanks for being a faithful reader and prayer partner. Love you all......

II Corinthians 12:9 But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.

radiation day 15

2009-11-17T16:03:00.000-08:00

John 16:33 In this world you will have trouble . But take heart: I have overcome the world.

I had my fifteenth day and thought it was the last day to have it at the center here in my town. I told everyone goodbye. They all gave me hugs and said that they liked me and I could come back for a visit. Maybe I will make them cookies sometime. I saw the onocologist radiation dr. and he was understanding of us wanting to go elsewhere if the insurance would pay. He said they've not had problems before. Great....why me. I had my colonoscopy which went well. My nurse who took me in is a Christian and even goes to my church so before she took me, we prayed. How sweet. They found nothing so that is good--colon is healthy. After I got home, I had a phone call from the radiation center and they said that M. center found out that my insurance won't cover the radiation treatments either. That doesn't seem to make sense since someone from our insurance told Larry that they did. I called M. center and talked to their insurance lady and she said she talked to them for over 30 minutes and it will not be covered.So, here I am not feeling well after the colonoscopy, calling up the insurance company to see what is going on. I talked to the lady and she talked to her supervisor and they couldn't find any radiation center in this state. What is the deal!!!!! They found onocologist doctors so I called one in another city where my sister lives--a big city. She said she will call me back tomorrow. I was in tears by the time I got off the phone. Then I looked up my insurance's website to see what I could find, sure enough, no radiation center is covered. The doctores are. That could be helpful but it costs lots of dollars to do another set up which means I would have to pay. Maybe I better just stay here and pay it out. It costs about $374 a day for radiation then some days I have an x ray and the dr bill is skyhigh!!! Wish I could just quit this. But I must trust God in this....I wonder why they won't pay for radiation treatments. I am so confused.....and frustrated. Okay, I need to take a deep breath and put this aside and just concentrate on feeling better from this colonscopy. I need rest. Not sure now whether to go in for radiation tomorrow or not. I am home alone for my boys went to play in a basketball game and Larry went to work to make up for he missed this morning. it is quiet and peaceful here.......Please pray for me in this situation and that I can have that peace once again.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God , which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Radiation day 15

2009-11-16T15:49:00.000-08:00

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Looks like I will be living in the town where my mom lives to finish up my radiaiton treatments. I will go again tomorrow to see the radiation dr. here and have a treatment but they should be able to get in touch with the radiation center in M. by tomorrow. They tried today but no one answered so they left a message. They called my insurance twice to see if they would pay anyway but insurance is being stubborn and said no. I called to be sure they would pay for another set up (measuring where the rays will go, etc) and they said yes. I don't know when I'll go. I am glad my mom lives there and is willing to take my sons and I in for 3 weeks or so. It will be a hardship but will work out. I will enjoy getting to see my mom though and spending time with her and friends that I know there.

Tomorrow I am having a colonoscopy just because I am 50 years old and the dr. thinks I should have it done. So, today I am taking the laxative preps. Yuck. So far, it's not been too bad drinking the stuff and my bottom isn't too sore but the evening has just begun!!! lol. My husband had this done last winter and I remember that it's not a fun procedure. I hope I don't get nauseated from the medication they give to make you sleepy. My stomach is sensitive to anesthesia so we'll see how I do with the meds they give me in the morning. I will have a radiation treatment and see the radiation onocologist before going to the hospital. Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 56:3-4 When I am afraid I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraidl. What can mortal man do to me?

radiation day 14

2009-11-14T06:14:00.000-08:00

Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

We received some bad news yesterday. We found out that the radiation center is not part of the hospital system we thought they were under. They rent space from them. So, we then found out that they are not on our insurance plan. This is the only radiation center in our town. The radiation center called our insurance to see if the dr. is on the plan (no) and to tell them this is the only radiation center in a 100 mile radius. It didn't matter to the insurance company. Well, we believe we are owing them about $7000 now. Why weren't we told in the beginning that they were not part of the hospital system or why didn't we find out for sure that the radiation treatments were being covered. You would thought i would have learned from my mistake with the neulasta shots but no, guess I didn't learn well enough. Larry is wanting me to move in with my mom for a few weeks and have radiation in her town for that center is covered by our plan. But, we are about to reach the maximum of out of pocket expensese not covered under the plan. I need to call today to see what happens when we reach the maximum--will they pay 100 percent? If so, then no reason to change. If not, then I might be moving for a few weeks. Yikes. Not something I want to do. The radiation center told my husband that they would have to take the set up x-rays again if we move to another place. Of course, we've not talked to the center in the town where my mom lives. She lives close enough (2 hours away) that we can come home on weekends. I do believe God provides, for our stock broker called the other day to say we should sell this stock that we own and so we did and it will be enough to cover the medical expenses that have accumulated so far but not enough to pay for the rest of the treatments--it is expensive. I had hoped to buy a new car--a smaller one --to save on gas since I have a big car. Pray that we will make the right decision. Living away from home will be hard but luckily I do homeschool so the boys will come with me. However, they will miss going to their activities.

Seems funny but my breast sometimes look pink then at other times it doesn't. Maybe the aloe vera gel is the cause. It hurts too at times but not all the time. Thanks for your prayers.

I Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Radiation day 13

2009-11-12T20:52:00.001-08:00

Psalm 46:1-2 God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear through teh earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.

Just a quick note for it's getting late and I am tired. My breast is definitely getting pinker and
more sensitive. For most of the day it's okay until I put on the aloe vera gel and then my nipple stings for about 10 minutes. Yikes. Not fun. I had a busy day and was in town most of the day but I did put the gel on once while in town. I really should try to put it on more often now that it is getting pink. A big problem I am having is that I find myself standing or walking stooped over. Not sure when that started or why but I keep having to tell myself to stand up straight. I am feeling like I am older than I am. Not good. The bottom of my feet hurt too. I feel like I'm falling apart physically....lol. Let's pray that it gets better. Thanks for keeping up with my blog--you must care and I appreciate that. Oh, I will be helping my daughter move into a different apartment tomorrow so I am praying that I won't hurt my back or anything. Have a great day.

Matthew 11:28 Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.

Radiation day 12

2009-11-11T20:02:00.000-08:00

Psalm 9:18 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you , Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Yesterday the cancer center called to say that the radiation machine had broken down so I couldn't go in the morning at my usual time. The bad thing was that I had to go in anyway to get my coumadin levels checked. I already had canceled that appt. once so really needed to go in. Larry had taken his truck to the Ford house since there was something they had a recall on. I had to pick him up so had to make a trip into town anyway. Then the cancer center called right after lunch to see if I could come in this afternoon since the machine was fixed so I went in at 3:50. They were busy since they were trying to work the morning people in along with the afternoon people but they were in a good mood. My breast area is slightly pink today and sometimes it feels funny. I can't really describe it but it's not a burning sensation. I am putting the aloe vera gel on but didn't put any on this morning since I didn't know when they might call me. You can't put it on 4 hours prior to getting radiation treatments. I am really tired today and tried to nap but really couldn't do it. Will go to bed after I write this so I can get some good rest. My coumadin levels were too high which means my blood is thinner than it needs to be but I am handling it okay. My kitten has scratched me but I really don't bleed from it more than usual. They were hoping I could start getting my blood checks once a month but since it was too high, I have to come back in 2 weeks. Too bad. Luckily when the nurse was scheduling my next appt. she said I was to see the onocologist on the 24th but I said no, I'm to see him on the 30th but it was in the computer that the appt. had been changed after I last saw him. I didn't change it so since his office is in the same building and on the same floor, I just went to the office and asked about it. They couldn't figure out how or why it was changed so now it's back to the 30th. Whew, that would have been a mess up if the coumadin nurse hadn't said anything. The Lord works in interesting ways. :) Well, thanks for your prayers. I have a busy day tomorrow so hopefully I won't be too tired. Pray that I have the energy I need. Thanks. Love you all......

II Corinthians 12:9 My grace is suffcient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.