I Thessalonians 4:13 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
I am so sorry I've not written in several days. I've been very busy helping to care for my father during his last days. He passed away yesterday--March 30--after several hours of intense suffering. However, in his last days, he did some funny things that we'll have fond memories of. I wrote in my last blog of some of those things and then on Monday he wanted to watch the car race so we got him in a recliner chair and he wanted to wear his youngest son's baseball hat so he did. I wish I had taken a picture--it was quite cute. There will be a memorial service for him on Friday so keep us in your prayers as we go through that. My stepmom not only lost her husband but she loses her home too and possibly have to start a whole new life in a new town which mean she loses her friends and church too. We have lots of the her house already packed up but there will be more packing this weekend and her stuff will be stored in a storage place until she decides exactly where she'll be. I will be storing her outdoor stuff--she has tons of stuff--at my place. I will really miss my father and stepmom since I went to their house quite often since they lived in town and I live in the country--their house was my in-town home.
I had my first mammogram since being diagnosed with cancer. I don't know the results yet. But I had forgotten that they put clips in my breast where the tumor was taken out. The tech let me see the pictures showing my clips. I have 6 clips inside. I also had a bone density test. Hope everything comes out okay. I'll keep you posted. I am to have Herceptin next week. Thanks for your prayers and concern.
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Anniversary
Isaiah 12:4 Give thanks to the Lord , call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that His name is exalted.
One year ago on this day, I was diagnosed with breast cancer!!! I am now a one year survivor!!! Praise God! It's not a year I would like to repeat but God was with me every step of the way and He's an amazing God for I saw him work in so many ways in my life that I can say was quite amazing. It's a year that when looking back, I saw many people who care for me in ways I didn't know. People have come into my life that I didn't even know but have come to know whether through the mail, computer, or face to face. I am so thankful for each of you who have followed my journey. I didn't start this blog a year ago but you have certainly been there when I did and throughout the rest of my journey. I appreciate your love and concern. I appreciate my family more than ever too--they have all been my great supporters--thanks Mom and Khristi!!! Thanks to my husband too who has been so faithful and loving through all the hardships I've caused him. lol. He's not complained but has been there for me. Cancer is not a fun thing but I have discovered that it' not the worse thing either especially if you have a good prognosis. I will be grateful for each day God gives me. I can not say I am cured of breast cancer for it can come back at any time (or maybe never) but at the moment, I am cancer free!!! Praise God!!!!
Some of you might want to know how my dad is doing. Unfortunately, there are cancers that have a bad prognosis like his but God is with him too. Wednesday was not a good day for him. He was put on oxygen and was really tired. He had taken his medications wrong which messed him up. He now does not have his meds next to him--someone else gives it to him. The nurse puts the pills in the pill boxes so all we have to do is just give the pills at the appropriate time. He was starting to hallucinate but they have since given a pill to help decrease that problem. The nurse talked to us about the progress of decline and death which was hard for my stepmom and stepsister to hear. As I nurse, I already knew these steps and handled it okay with just a few tears. But yesterday, my dad had a completely different day--the meds kicked in I guess. By the afternoon, he was alert and very talkative. He went outside to inspect his son's new truck, ate well, and didn't take a nap---bet he was wore out at bedtime. Today the funeral home is to come and talk about his memorial service. I hope I can be there then but not sure when they are coming. Please keep praying...his day is coming but only God knows when that day is. Love you all.
Job 14:5 Man's days are determined ; you have decreed the number of his months and have set the limits he cannot exceed.
One year ago on this day, I was diagnosed with breast cancer!!! I am now a one year survivor!!! Praise God! It's not a year I would like to repeat but God was with me every step of the way and He's an amazing God for I saw him work in so many ways in my life that I can say was quite amazing. It's a year that when looking back, I saw many people who care for me in ways I didn't know. People have come into my life that I didn't even know but have come to know whether through the mail, computer, or face to face. I am so thankful for each of you who have followed my journey. I didn't start this blog a year ago but you have certainly been there when I did and throughout the rest of my journey. I appreciate your love and concern. I appreciate my family more than ever too--they have all been my great supporters--thanks Mom and Khristi!!! Thanks to my husband too who has been so faithful and loving through all the hardships I've caused him. lol. He's not complained but has been there for me. Cancer is not a fun thing but I have discovered that it' not the worse thing either especially if you have a good prognosis. I will be grateful for each day God gives me. I can not say I am cured of breast cancer for it can come back at any time (or maybe never) but at the moment, I am cancer free!!! Praise God!!!!
Some of you might want to know how my dad is doing. Unfortunately, there are cancers that have a bad prognosis like his but God is with him too. Wednesday was not a good day for him. He was put on oxygen and was really tired. He had taken his medications wrong which messed him up. He now does not have his meds next to him--someone else gives it to him. The nurse puts the pills in the pill boxes so all we have to do is just give the pills at the appropriate time. He was starting to hallucinate but they have since given a pill to help decrease that problem. The nurse talked to us about the progress of decline and death which was hard for my stepmom and stepsister to hear. As I nurse, I already knew these steps and handled it okay with just a few tears. But yesterday, my dad had a completely different day--the meds kicked in I guess. By the afternoon, he was alert and very talkative. He went outside to inspect his son's new truck, ate well, and didn't take a nap---bet he was wore out at bedtime. Today the funeral home is to come and talk about his memorial service. I hope I can be there then but not sure when they are coming. Please keep praying...his day is coming but only God knows when that day is. Love you all.
Job 14:5 Man's days are determined ; you have decreed the number of his months and have set the limits he cannot exceed.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
radiation sites. more cancer
Proverbs 14:30 A heart at peace gives life to the body....
Yesterday, I was visiting with a friend who had breast cancer 4 years ago. She was treated in Austin for her cancer so we had similar treatmemts but some differences. We happened to be comparing our ports---I saw her port site and her incision was vertical while mine is horizontal. I showed her my port and she was amazed how little it is. Guess hers was much bigger. Then we started to talk about our radiation sites. Her tumor was on the left side of her left breast so radiation is on the side of her breast and under her arms. Mine is right on my chest since my tumor was at the 11 o'clock site ( of the breast). Well, she had told me that she had gotten quite burned and there were days when they wouldn't even give her radiation due to her burns. I never had that problem. I was burned the worse on the last day. She showed me her site--it was awful. It's reddish purple and mottled and bumpy looking. I was so surprised. Mine is like a weird tan--slightly brownish and doesn't show too much when I'm wearing a shirt that shows some of it. It's more noticeable after I take a shower. I don't think I would wear a swimsuit--my scars and radiation site would really show up. But I am so grateful that's it not the reddish-purple color. I really feel sorry for her. She might have it taken care of surgically for the dr. says it could be done. All I can say, is "Thanks, God for helping me not get so burned".
Well, my family can not seem to get away from cancer these days. Now my husband was diagnosed with cancer but it's only skin cancer--squamous cell carcinoma which is not dangerous and will be easily taken care of it by removing it. Unfortunately, he's had it for awhile but the dr. doesn't seem to be concerned about it. He will have it removed next week. Had his biopsy last week.
My dad is starting to hallucinate by thinking people tell him things that they didn't say. It's caused by his pain meds. They had increased his dosage the other day. The goal is to make him comfortable from having less pain. He keeps thinking that he is sinking fast but I'm afraid he has more to suffer before it is all over. Please pray for him and the rest of the family. My stepbrother arrived yesterday so now there is one more to come for him to feel like he can let go. That son and grandson will arrive on Friday late night. Thanks again for all your prayers and love.
Psalm 145:3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise, his greatness no one can fathom.
Yesterday, I was visiting with a friend who had breast cancer 4 years ago. She was treated in Austin for her cancer so we had similar treatmemts but some differences. We happened to be comparing our ports---I saw her port site and her incision was vertical while mine is horizontal. I showed her my port and she was amazed how little it is. Guess hers was much bigger. Then we started to talk about our radiation sites. Her tumor was on the left side of her left breast so radiation is on the side of her breast and under her arms. Mine is right on my chest since my tumor was at the 11 o'clock site ( of the breast). Well, she had told me that she had gotten quite burned and there were days when they wouldn't even give her radiation due to her burns. I never had that problem. I was burned the worse on the last day. She showed me her site--it was awful. It's reddish purple and mottled and bumpy looking. I was so surprised. Mine is like a weird tan--slightly brownish and doesn't show too much when I'm wearing a shirt that shows some of it. It's more noticeable after I take a shower. I don't think I would wear a swimsuit--my scars and radiation site would really show up. But I am so grateful that's it not the reddish-purple color. I really feel sorry for her. She might have it taken care of surgically for the dr. says it could be done. All I can say, is "Thanks, God for helping me not get so burned".
Well, my family can not seem to get away from cancer these days. Now my husband was diagnosed with cancer but it's only skin cancer--squamous cell carcinoma which is not dangerous and will be easily taken care of it by removing it. Unfortunately, he's had it for awhile but the dr. doesn't seem to be concerned about it. He will have it removed next week. Had his biopsy last week.
My dad is starting to hallucinate by thinking people tell him things that they didn't say. It's caused by his pain meds. They had increased his dosage the other day. The goal is to make him comfortable from having less pain. He keeps thinking that he is sinking fast but I'm afraid he has more to suffer before it is all over. Please pray for him and the rest of the family. My stepbrother arrived yesterday so now there is one more to come for him to feel like he can let go. That son and grandson will arrive on Friday late night. Thanks again for all your prayers and love.
Psalm 145:3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise, his greatness no one can fathom.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Monday
II Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you fo rmy power is made perfect in weakness.
I have a week where there is not a single medical thing that I have for myself---yea!!! I do have a mammogram and bone density test next week. It will be a year that I was diagnosed with cancer this Friday. Hard to believe it's been that long but I am glad that the hard stuff is behind me. I have been sleepy alot and I think it's the Arimidx medication that is causing that. I can get a good night's sleep and am still tired especially in the afternoon. In fact, I think I will take a nap after writing on this blog. I'm not a nap person but I've discovered that if I can squeeze in a little nap, it helps.
My dad has his up and down days. Yesterday he told me that he thought he was sinking fast and was hoping he could make it to Saturday when his youngest son and grandson arrive from Indiana. I asked him why he thought he was sinking and it was because he is so tired. His pain medication makes him tired and they had increased his dosage recently. I didn't tell him that he probably has to go through much more before he has sunk(vomiting, not eating....)!! He is ready to go and wants to go. I caught him crying the other day when I went to another town to pick up his daughter from Indiana. He said he didn't want to be causing so much trouble for everyone. I assured him that we don't see it as a burden for we love him. Today I heard that he was sitting up at a table to eat dinner which is something he hasn't done in quite a while. Sounds like he is having a good day. I will be seeing him this afternoon. I try to go everyday. Pray for him and the family . Thanks. Love you all.....
Jeremiah 31:13 I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
I have a week where there is not a single medical thing that I have for myself---yea!!! I do have a mammogram and bone density test next week. It will be a year that I was diagnosed with cancer this Friday. Hard to believe it's been that long but I am glad that the hard stuff is behind me. I have been sleepy alot and I think it's the Arimidx medication that is causing that. I can get a good night's sleep and am still tired especially in the afternoon. In fact, I think I will take a nap after writing on this blog. I'm not a nap person but I've discovered that if I can squeeze in a little nap, it helps.
My dad has his up and down days. Yesterday he told me that he thought he was sinking fast and was hoping he could make it to Saturday when his youngest son and grandson arrive from Indiana. I asked him why he thought he was sinking and it was because he is so tired. His pain medication makes him tired and they had increased his dosage recently. I didn't tell him that he probably has to go through much more before he has sunk(vomiting, not eating....)!! He is ready to go and wants to go. I caught him crying the other day when I went to another town to pick up his daughter from Indiana. He said he didn't want to be causing so much trouble for everyone. I assured him that we don't see it as a burden for we love him. Today I heard that he was sitting up at a table to eat dinner which is something he hasn't done in quite a while. Sounds like he is having a good day. I will be seeing him this afternoon. I try to go everyday. Pray for him and the family . Thanks. Love you all.....
Jeremiah 31:13 I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Doctor's visit
Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Went to see the doctor on Monday and had herceptin that day too. The doctor says everything is looking good. I had cancer markers drawn and the level is 21.7 which is good for me. No signs of cancer. I am due for a mammogram this month (the 3oth). On the 16th is when I had a mammogram last year that showed the cancer. Hope this next one is good looking. I've done self-breast exams and haven't found anything. I do have cysts at times so I'm wondering how I will feel emotionally when I do feel something ---will have to hope it's just a cyst. No problems in receiving the Herceptin. The nurses at the chemo clinic mentioned that my hair is coming in thick. I'm sure they see many women with hair growing back. My hair has always been thick anyway. I can tell that it's growing but seems so slow. I have a horrible time with the hair around the crown of my head for it's shorter and I guess I have a cowlick there. Such a pain to fix. lol. I still don't like the stares I receive when i go to the stores or wherever but I just try to ignore them.
My dad has his ups and down days. He ate dinner well last night but was nauseated in the morning. He gets tired easily and company really tires him so my boys rearranged his bedroom so he could be in there with his recliner and it's more peaceful and quiet. My step-sister from Indiana comes in today but flies into Midland so I have to go pick her up. My youngest brother and his family are coming tomorrow. They are spending the night with us on Friday. Thanks for your prayers. Love you all. It has been fun to find out who is following this blog--hi Marcy!!!
I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.
Went to see the doctor on Monday and had herceptin that day too. The doctor says everything is looking good. I had cancer markers drawn and the level is 21.7 which is good for me. No signs of cancer. I am due for a mammogram this month (the 3oth). On the 16th is when I had a mammogram last year that showed the cancer. Hope this next one is good looking. I've done self-breast exams and haven't found anything. I do have cysts at times so I'm wondering how I will feel emotionally when I do feel something ---will have to hope it's just a cyst. No problems in receiving the Herceptin. The nurses at the chemo clinic mentioned that my hair is coming in thick. I'm sure they see many women with hair growing back. My hair has always been thick anyway. I can tell that it's growing but seems so slow. I have a horrible time with the hair around the crown of my head for it's shorter and I guess I have a cowlick there. Such a pain to fix. lol. I still don't like the stares I receive when i go to the stores or wherever but I just try to ignore them.
My dad has his ups and down days. He ate dinner well last night but was nauseated in the morning. He gets tired easily and company really tires him so my boys rearranged his bedroom so he could be in there with his recliner and it's more peaceful and quiet. My step-sister from Indiana comes in today but flies into Midland so I have to go pick her up. My youngest brother and his family are coming tomorrow. They are spending the night with us on Friday. Thanks for your prayers. Love you all. It has been fun to find out who is following this blog--hi Marcy!!!
I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Sunday
Isaiah 12:2 Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.
I'm sorry I've not posted in a while. Just not alot to say plus I've been busy and tired. I just can't seem to get enough sleep at night. I wake up way too early and can't get back to sleep so I'm getting about 5 hours of sleep. Even the days I can sleep in, I wake up and lay in bed trying to go back to sleep. Oh, well.....sometimes I can grab a nap but other times I just keep plugging on. lol.
I've not worn my wig for a week now. I'm starting to get used to the stares. I hated the first time I went to the store for I felt so weird and was very self conscious. But I'm beginning to relax about it. I've had several nice comments from people I know. On Wednesday nights I work with children and I'm sure they wondered why my hair was so short and different color. Before dismissing the older kids to their class, I explained to them why my hair was the way it is--reminded them that I had cancer and had chemo therefore I lost my hair and now it's growing back. I laughed and told them that I know it looks funny and like a boy's haircut but it will grow. Well, it was cupcake day (we celebrate birthdays for that month with cupcakes once a month) and one of the older girls told me that I didn't look funny but cute. Ahhhh, how sweet.
Tomorrow I see the onocologist and receive Herceptin so will be a busy day. I went to get blood work on Friday and there was a different lab tech and she couldn't get blood on the first stick and boy, did she hurt me for she had to dig around. I missed Ann who usually draws my blood. Oh, well....I recovered. My dad was put on Hospice which has been a good thing for they are so helpful and they give him whatever he needs for free. They completely changed all his medications and he some problems with one medication so was feeling worse for a couple of days but now is some better. He says he is ready to go and wishes the rest of the kids would come see him. He isn't bedridden but doesn't have the energy to do much but at times will fix his own meal. He was the one always who cooked the meals, not my stepmom. lol. I've been there almost every day at some time or another. Just continue to pray for the family as I know there are going to be rough days ahead. Thanks for your care and prayers.
I Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him , because he cares for you.
I'm sorry I've not posted in a while. Just not alot to say plus I've been busy and tired. I just can't seem to get enough sleep at night. I wake up way too early and can't get back to sleep so I'm getting about 5 hours of sleep. Even the days I can sleep in, I wake up and lay in bed trying to go back to sleep. Oh, well.....sometimes I can grab a nap but other times I just keep plugging on. lol.
I've not worn my wig for a week now. I'm starting to get used to the stares. I hated the first time I went to the store for I felt so weird and was very self conscious. But I'm beginning to relax about it. I've had several nice comments from people I know. On Wednesday nights I work with children and I'm sure they wondered why my hair was so short and different color. Before dismissing the older kids to their class, I explained to them why my hair was the way it is--reminded them that I had cancer and had chemo therefore I lost my hair and now it's growing back. I laughed and told them that I know it looks funny and like a boy's haircut but it will grow. Well, it was cupcake day (we celebrate birthdays for that month with cupcakes once a month) and one of the older girls told me that I didn't look funny but cute. Ahhhh, how sweet.
Tomorrow I see the onocologist and receive Herceptin so will be a busy day. I went to get blood work on Friday and there was a different lab tech and she couldn't get blood on the first stick and boy, did she hurt me for she had to dig around. I missed Ann who usually draws my blood. Oh, well....I recovered. My dad was put on Hospice which has been a good thing for they are so helpful and they give him whatever he needs for free. They completely changed all his medications and he some problems with one medication so was feeling worse for a couple of days but now is some better. He says he is ready to go and wishes the rest of the kids would come see him. He isn't bedridden but doesn't have the energy to do much but at times will fix his own meal. He was the one always who cooked the meals, not my stepmom. lol. I've been there almost every day at some time or another. Just continue to pray for the family as I know there are going to be rough days ahead. Thanks for your care and prayers.
I Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him , because he cares for you.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Hair, wig
I Samuel 16:7 ...the Lord sees not as man sees, for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks in the heart.
This weekend I decided it was time to "come out of the wig". Yep, I am going out into the world without my wig. Believe it or not, I did it for the first time going to a wedding. I knew there would be people there I've not seen in awhile and they may not have seen me in my newest wig plus I knew it's about time to go without my wig. Our hairdresser was encouraging me to go without. I don't care for the short hair and I don't really like people staring at me , but I did it anyway. I'm sure it's a shock to see me in such little hair. Just think, last year at this time, I had long. long hair. It will grow. I went to church too without the wig and today I went to get my coumadin level checked and didn't wear the wig. By the way, my coumadin level was 2.3 which is where the level needs to be. Hooray. that is two times in a row that I've had good levels so now I don't have to be rechecked for a month. I found out today that I'm not be drinking green tea. I've been doing that in the past and that could be one reason I've had poor results. I haven't been drinking it lately for I've been drinking hot chocolate instead. No one told me not to drink green tea or maybe I forgot. Each month they do some kind of educational talk and today was foods that contain high levels of Vit. K. Why can't I have Vit. K? Well, it will thicken my blood and we are trying to keep the blood thin so I won't have a blood clot. Back to the wig, I did wear my wig to my daughter's theatre for I've been going there every evening to fix Sarah's hair for the play she's in and these people really don't know me and by next week, I'll be done going there so why shock those kids. lol. I've not gone into a store yet....guess that is coming soon.
You may be wondering how my dad and the family is doing. He is doing okay--pain has lessen since his pain medication was increased. We had a good talk on Sat. about my relationship with him, heaven, and dying. He is a believer and knows he is going to heaven but being a typical man, wants to know how it all works--going to heaven that is. My stepmom was in a good mood that day and being strong (Prayers are working) and she and I were telling him how wonderful it's going to be, reminding him that we may not know exactly how it all works but it doesn't matter, it's better than being on earth and he'll be free from pain, etc. My stepmom even gave him pemission to go when he is ready. So proud of her. I think it is so important for a spouse or family member to say, it's okay to go. He's not ready yet but when the time comes, he'll know that he doesn't have to keep fighting to stay alive. He has lots of humor most times so we were trying to be jovial and telling him to throw down bits of gold from heaven to let us know he's there and doing okay. :) Anyway, it was a great talk. Glad I had that time with him. Was able to tell him thanks for being in my life these past 14 years. He teared up and said he wished he could have earlier in my life but didn't want to cause problems with kids trying to decide where to be loyal to which parent, etc. Didn't want to disturb our lives. I told him that it doesn't matter for I have enjoyed getting to be his daughter for the past 14 years when he moved to my town. He has been a good grandad for my kids too. Thanks for your prayers for me and for my family as we go through the days ahead.
Isaiah 33:2 O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.
This weekend I decided it was time to "come out of the wig". Yep, I am going out into the world without my wig. Believe it or not, I did it for the first time going to a wedding. I knew there would be people there I've not seen in awhile and they may not have seen me in my newest wig plus I knew it's about time to go without my wig. Our hairdresser was encouraging me to go without. I don't care for the short hair and I don't really like people staring at me , but I did it anyway. I'm sure it's a shock to see me in such little hair. Just think, last year at this time, I had long. long hair. It will grow. I went to church too without the wig and today I went to get my coumadin level checked and didn't wear the wig. By the way, my coumadin level was 2.3 which is where the level needs to be. Hooray. that is two times in a row that I've had good levels so now I don't have to be rechecked for a month. I found out today that I'm not be drinking green tea. I've been doing that in the past and that could be one reason I've had poor results. I haven't been drinking it lately for I've been drinking hot chocolate instead. No one told me not to drink green tea or maybe I forgot. Each month they do some kind of educational talk and today was foods that contain high levels of Vit. K. Why can't I have Vit. K? Well, it will thicken my blood and we are trying to keep the blood thin so I won't have a blood clot. Back to the wig, I did wear my wig to my daughter's theatre for I've been going there every evening to fix Sarah's hair for the play she's in and these people really don't know me and by next week, I'll be done going there so why shock those kids. lol. I've not gone into a store yet....guess that is coming soon.
You may be wondering how my dad and the family is doing. He is doing okay--pain has lessen since his pain medication was increased. We had a good talk on Sat. about my relationship with him, heaven, and dying. He is a believer and knows he is going to heaven but being a typical man, wants to know how it all works--going to heaven that is. My stepmom was in a good mood that day and being strong (Prayers are working) and she and I were telling him how wonderful it's going to be, reminding him that we may not know exactly how it all works but it doesn't matter, it's better than being on earth and he'll be free from pain, etc. My stepmom even gave him pemission to go when he is ready. So proud of her. I think it is so important for a spouse or family member to say, it's okay to go. He's not ready yet but when the time comes, he'll know that he doesn't have to keep fighting to stay alive. He has lots of humor most times so we were trying to be jovial and telling him to throw down bits of gold from heaven to let us know he's there and doing okay. :) Anyway, it was a great talk. Glad I had that time with him. Was able to tell him thanks for being in my life these past 14 years. He teared up and said he wished he could have earlier in my life but didn't want to cause problems with kids trying to decide where to be loyal to which parent, etc. Didn't want to disturb our lives. I told him that it doesn't matter for I have enjoyed getting to be his daughter for the past 14 years when he moved to my town. He has been a good grandad for my kids too. Thanks for your prayers for me and for my family as we go through the days ahead.
Isaiah 33:2 O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Sad news
Isaiah 4:10 So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
In a year's time, my family has had to deal with several people with cancer. We've not dealt with it much in the past except my aunt who died with breast cancer about 1 1/2 years ago. I feel that I've been pretty lucky to have healthy family members and especially healthy parents or so I thought. My dad had been having back pains for about 3 months and lots of tests have been done but nothing came up as to why he had the back pain. Finally his surgeon thought that maybe the many lipomas (fatty benign tumors) on his back was the cause; maybe they are on some nerves. I have lipomas too and once there was one sitting on a nerve in my leg which the doctor removed easily in his office. Well, my dad had surgery and had 25 lipoma's removed. These were just on one side of his back and some on his stomach area. This surgery was done 2 weeks ago. Some of wounds are draining and not healing properly and some are opening up. My stepmom took him in to the ER last Sunday to have an incision stitched up and the nurse noticed the coloring of his skin---yellow. He was juandiced and my stepmom hadn't noticed (they keep their house dark due to low lighting). The ER dr. thought maybe he had a blocked bile duct so a CT scan was scheduled and done on Tuesday. On Wed. they found out that it's not the bile duct nor gallbladder. He has pancreatic cancer!!! That is the worse (or one of the worse) cancers to have for there is no cure and usually people don't live long after being diagnosed. The doctor gave him 2-3 months to live. Of course, no one but God knows when our days are done. This has really hit me hard. They live here and I'm over there quite a bit. We have developed a great relationship over the past 14 years since they've moved here. He has been a good grandfather for my kids. And I get along with my stepmom; she is my friend. I will miss them so much. My dad is having a great attitude about this but worries about what is going to happen to his wife. My stepmom is very dependent on him so this will be very hard but today she seems to have gotten herself in control and is doing better. They are both Christians so will be drawing strength from Him. This will especially be hard for them financially for they have no life insurance, savings, or retirement. He has been working---even went to work last week even though he felt bad. It makes me appreciate the extra money my husband has set aside for life insurance and retirement. Anyway, please pray for us as we say our good-byes and go through this very difficult time. I am the only child here but the others will be coming to see him soon and one son will be here for a couple of weeks to help out. And a daughter will be coming in April but not sure for how long. I know that having cancer is hard enough but having it and dying is even harder. I am thankful that I survived my cancer---wish my dad could too.......oh, well....there is a plan for all of us. He has lived a good life and will have a great time meeting God in heaven. Oh, they celebrate their 42nd wedding anniversary next week. He asked me to buy her a card that he can give her. What an honor...it will be the last card for him to give her...the last anniversary...oh, how sad.
Isaiah 43:2-3 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
In a year's time, my family has had to deal with several people with cancer. We've not dealt with it much in the past except my aunt who died with breast cancer about 1 1/2 years ago. I feel that I've been pretty lucky to have healthy family members and especially healthy parents or so I thought. My dad had been having back pains for about 3 months and lots of tests have been done but nothing came up as to why he had the back pain. Finally his surgeon thought that maybe the many lipomas (fatty benign tumors) on his back was the cause; maybe they are on some nerves. I have lipomas too and once there was one sitting on a nerve in my leg which the doctor removed easily in his office. Well, my dad had surgery and had 25 lipoma's removed. These were just on one side of his back and some on his stomach area. This surgery was done 2 weeks ago. Some of wounds are draining and not healing properly and some are opening up. My stepmom took him in to the ER last Sunday to have an incision stitched up and the nurse noticed the coloring of his skin---yellow. He was juandiced and my stepmom hadn't noticed (they keep their house dark due to low lighting). The ER dr. thought maybe he had a blocked bile duct so a CT scan was scheduled and done on Tuesday. On Wed. they found out that it's not the bile duct nor gallbladder. He has pancreatic cancer!!! That is the worse (or one of the worse) cancers to have for there is no cure and usually people don't live long after being diagnosed. The doctor gave him 2-3 months to live. Of course, no one but God knows when our days are done. This has really hit me hard. They live here and I'm over there quite a bit. We have developed a great relationship over the past 14 years since they've moved here. He has been a good grandfather for my kids. And I get along with my stepmom; she is my friend. I will miss them so much. My dad is having a great attitude about this but worries about what is going to happen to his wife. My stepmom is very dependent on him so this will be very hard but today she seems to have gotten herself in control and is doing better. They are both Christians so will be drawing strength from Him. This will especially be hard for them financially for they have no life insurance, savings, or retirement. He has been working---even went to work last week even though he felt bad. It makes me appreciate the extra money my husband has set aside for life insurance and retirement. Anyway, please pray for us as we say our good-byes and go through this very difficult time. I am the only child here but the others will be coming to see him soon and one son will be here for a couple of weeks to help out. And a daughter will be coming in April but not sure for how long. I know that having cancer is hard enough but having it and dying is even harder. I am thankful that I survived my cancer---wish my dad could too.......oh, well....there is a plan for all of us. He has lived a good life and will have a great time meeting God in heaven. Oh, they celebrate their 42nd wedding anniversary next week. He asked me to buy her a card that he can give her. What an honor...it will be the last card for him to give her...the last anniversary...oh, how sad.
Isaiah 43:2-3 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Wednesday
Psalm 92:4-5 For you make me glad by your deeds, O Lord; I sing for joy at the works of your hands. How great are your works, O Lord, how profound your thoughts.
You may be wondering how is the rash and the intestinal problems I had recently. Well, all is fine. Just a bit of rash left but really not noticeable but probably by me. lol. The intestinal problem is all gone except my husband now has it. Yikes.....
This is the month that my cancer journey started. So, some anniversaries coming up. I felt the lump sometime around March 10 or so and I had my mammogram on March 16, my son's birthday. Was diagnosed with cancer on March 26. So, lot of annivesary dates. I will be having a mammorgram this month--at the end. Hard to believe it's been nearly a year since I was told that I have cancer. It doesn't seem that it's been that long. I had a scare yesterday while I was showering. I thought I felt a lump in my breast. I quickly did a self breast exam but didn't find anything. Whew......maybe it was just a gland that I brushed against or nothing at all. Thanks to you all who have been following my blog. It's nice to know that people care. Thanks for your prayers most of all.
Note to KK---I'm thinking of you and family as you face your own sad anniversary of the loss of your precious son. God loves you all!!!
Jeremiah 31:13 I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
You may be wondering how is the rash and the intestinal problems I had recently. Well, all is fine. Just a bit of rash left but really not noticeable but probably by me. lol. The intestinal problem is all gone except my husband now has it. Yikes.....
This is the month that my cancer journey started. So, some anniversaries coming up. I felt the lump sometime around March 10 or so and I had my mammogram on March 16, my son's birthday. Was diagnosed with cancer on March 26. So, lot of annivesary dates. I will be having a mammorgram this month--at the end. Hard to believe it's been nearly a year since I was told that I have cancer. It doesn't seem that it's been that long. I had a scare yesterday while I was showering. I thought I felt a lump in my breast. I quickly did a self breast exam but didn't find anything. Whew......maybe it was just a gland that I brushed against or nothing at all. Thanks to you all who have been following my blog. It's nice to know that people care. Thanks for your prayers most of all.
Note to KK---I'm thinking of you and family as you face your own sad anniversary of the loss of your precious son. God loves you all!!!
Jeremiah 31:13 I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
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