1st radiation treatment

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Today was my first radiaton treatment. They assigned me a dressing room and I have my own locker in there to put my clothes and purse. Inside the locker is my 'gown shirt' to wear. It is long sleeve, looks quilted, has buttons that go in the front and short like a jacket. I put that on then wait in a waiting room right next to the dressing rooms. My nurse is named 'Kim' and she is really sweet. I don't know if I will have her every day or what but should find out soon since I go again tomorrow. They put me in this cold huge room with a huge funny looking machine. The bed that I lie down on is very narrow and of course, hard. The hardest part is lying still with arms above your head. They first took some x-rays to be sure they were in the correct place. This man (I forgot his name) drew a large circle on me with a black marker--will wash off eventually. It's kind of high up so have to be careful what type of shirt I'm wearing. lol. Larry says i can tell people that I have a tatoo--lol. Then the man taped a wire on me to measure the radiation. They won't have to do that each time nor the x-rays. The radiation itself did not take long to give. They do it at 2 different angles. Turns out that on Tuesdays, it is doctor day. Everyone sees the doctor on Tuesdays and we can see him on other days if we need to or have a question. So, I saw the doctor and I asked him if the radiation rays are getting both the tumor site and mammary lymph node site and he said yes. He drew me a picture of where the rays are going. It's a little different location than most women due to the lymph node. Then i asked about wearing a bra. He said whatever I am comfortable in wearing is okay. Towards the end of the treatment period, I might find it better without a bra but it's up to me. He said each person is different on how their skin is affected but he is fine with me wearing a bra. Yea!!! So, we'll just take each day as it comes. When I got home, I put on the aloe vera gel right away. I am going to put it on again before going to bed. I go for radiaiton treatment again tomorrow at 1 pm. I have a weird schedule this week but next week, I will be going each day at 9 am except on thursdays --then I'll go at 2:50 (because on Thursdays I am already in town most of the afternoon but wanted mornings on the other days). Thanks for your prayers today. I was a little nervous not knowing exactly what was going to happen but they put you at ease right away and were so good at explaining everything they are doing. Oh, the man took a picture of the markings on my breast and I said "hope you aren't planning to put that on the internet" and he thought I was serious at first but I told him I was just joking. Then he laughed. :) While waiting, I talked with an older woman who was complaining about how she found out about her cancer, and the care of people, etc. I sat and listened compassionately. Maybe God can use me there to be a listener and whatever else--comforter, etc. Just pray that I will not miss opportunities to be used by God. I am going through this for a purpose and one purpose may be to help others in similar situtions. Love you all.....

II Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

Monday

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Tomorrow I have my first radiation treatment. I'm a tad nervous about it--not sure why but I know it will all work out. I bought a bigger bottle of aloe vera gel--turns out it is the same brand that the center gave me. I will start using it as soon as I get home from radiation. I also bought a few shirts--bigger ones to wear in case I have to go braless. I also bought this undershirt thing that has some padding and it's not tight. (size is bigger than I usually would buy). It's soft and gives a little more support.

My hair on my head is trying to grow some. My mom bought me a hair treatment kit with shampoo, conditoner, and something to make hair thicker and fuller. I've been using it so will be neat to see if it helps any at all. Thanks, Mom. I had my blood checked today to see how my counts are doing. This is usually the time when they are at their lowest so now we will be on our way up. Yea!!! No bone pain today--- maybe it's finally over. I sure hope so. Not much to say tonight. Will let you know tomorrow how the radiation treatment went. Thanks again so much for your prayers. I sure do appreciate it.

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Sunday

Isaiah 12:4 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted.

I went to church today--felt so good to be there. We had a potluck dinner there too so we stayed. Hope I didn't hug anyone that is sick for tomorrow is usually the lowest point in my white blood counts. It's been so amazing that I haven't gotten sick while on chemo. God has been watching over me and protecting me. I had some leg bone pain today---should have been over with by now so not sure why it's still bothering me but it's not too bad. I've had numbness in my toes and now it's spread to the bottom of my feet near the toes. It feels weird but I get use to it. Bugs me the most when I'm in bed. I hear that this might last for a long time--maybe for years. Yuck, but that is life. lol. I have been wondering about what I will be able to wear when I have radiation treatment since it gives you a 'sunburn'. That is something I forget to ask and haven't really read about. My friend who had breast cancer 3 years ago called me today so i asked her. She said her dr. wouldn't let her wear a bra!! What, no bra!!! No way can I live without a bra for 6 weeks. I'm just too big chested to do that. No way........ she gave me some suggestions. I will ask the dr. when I see him on Tuesday. I am always going places and doing things and not everyone knows that I am battling breast cancer and what I'm going through. My friend pretty much stayed home during her treatments but not me. Yikes, what am I to do? I will find a way....:) I''m very self-conscious about things like that. Thanks everyone for your prayers and concern.

Isaiah 58:11 The Lord will guide you always, he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorced land and will strengthen your frame!!!

chemo day 8

Psalm 138:8 The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me.

Still having bone pain in my legs today--off and on. I've taken Tylenol twice. Seems it's lasting longer than before. Guess my body doesn't want to let go of the chemo effects. lol. I went walking anyway for I haven't gone in over a week. I need to lose some weight. I gained weight while taking chemo so really would like to lose some of that weight plus I was overweight anyway before chemo. Of course, chocolate chip cookies that Brandon made today sure won't help me lose any weight. lol. Haven't had any in such a long time.....they sure were yummy. My blood pressure was low yesterday so didn't take the medication for the hot flashes last night, and sure enough, I had a few hot flashes. Not as bad as before but still, woke me up and wishing I had the fan on. Today I had an echocardiogram --where they test your heart by sound waves. I have it done every 3 months for some of the medication I take is hard on your heart. I don't know the results but my heart sounded good. I was happy to have a female technician today for I usually have male ones. This week has been a busy one in going to the doctors or some kind of test every day which has tired me out and now radiation is about to start. Just pray that I have the stamina needed to keep going every day. I finally found some time and energy today to clean house. It was really in need of cleaning. I wasn't so tired today as I had been. Tomorrow(Sat. ) is a long day for Christopher and I are going to a government type of conference all day then the boys are going to a homeschool dance way on the other side of town from where we live. I hope there won't be any people who are sick at the conference--120 people have signed up. Wow!!!!Have a great day. Thanks for your prayers.

I Samuel 3:18 He is the Lord; let him do what is good in his eyes.

Tattoos

Colossians 3:15-17 Let the peace of God rule in your hearts...And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. Whatever you do, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving the glory to God.

Today I have been feeling so loved and blessed by God and just rejoicing in Him. Nothing special happened, just feeling that way. :) You are wondering why I got tattoos. I am a lady who never, ever wanted a tattoo--still don't but today, I got 3 of them. Wasn't by choice though. Let me explain....I went to see the radiation dr. and today was "planning day". They took CT scans to see where they plan to radiate and then they tattooed me with 3 freckle size pinmarks. Two of them didn't hurt but one was in a sensitive spot so hurt for just a moment. The man who made the tattoos said it's a low ink type they use and should fade away within 5-7 years!!!!. Great....oh, well, you can't see them (I'm not showing them off) lol. Today was an embarrassing day for my left breast had to be exposed as they did the CT Scan and they put tape around my breast, then marked it, then tattooed it. Also, the guy took pictures of my breast with a regular camera. They better not make their way to the internet. lol. The doctor came in too when all the tape was put down to see if all looked well....but of course, you know these guys have seen thousands of breasts by now so no big deal to them. Probably have seen tons of breast areas that had mascetomies too. Anyway, they gave me a month's schedule for radiation. I start next Tuesday--10-27. Sooner than I thought but I am glad. Let's get this over with. He gave me some aloe vera gel and said I could buy a bigger bottle at Walmart or any drugstore, etc. Told me to use it several times a day to help decrease redness and pain due to the irritation to the skin. One lady told me she used it from day one and really didn't have a problem with it. Also gave me some type of deodorant to use on the left side. My schedule is really different the first week and it will take longer as they take x-rays to be sure they are in right spot. Then starting in Nov. , it is usually at 9 am except on thursday which will be at 2:50 pm (I requested Thurs. afternoonn since I am in town most of the afternoon anyway). I am ready to get started!!!!!

I am feeling better today--very little pain but still tired. I have a long day ahead of me but maybe I can go to my dad's house to rest for some of the time. I am to get my coumadin level check this afternoon. Hope it's good--last time it was too high. Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 14:30 A heart at peace gives life to the body....

Chemo Day 6

Isaiah 30:19b How gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you.

Today has been a rougher day. I am having lots of bone pain. As the day progressed, so did the pain. I finally took Tylenol just a few minutes ago. It should help me rest tonight. My pain started out today in my teeth--I don't recall my teeth hurting before but it did today. Most of the pain is located in my legs, feet, and back. I have a high tolerance for pain so have tolerated it most of the day but now it's really hurting. I'm also experiencing lots of fatigue. I was really tired yesterday--took 2 naps. Today it really hit when I was driving into town to take my step mom to physical therapy. While at therapy, I took a short power nap on a table thing while my stepmom was sitting for 20 minutes getting heat and some kind of stimulation thing. That helped some but sure wanted a good nap but never got it. Oh, well, should sleep good tonight. I am so happy that this is the last time I should experience these chemo effects. I know we all get tired but this type of fatigue seems different than just being tired. Tomorrow I see the radiation doctor so should find out when radiation therapy starts. I will be glad to start it so that it will be out of the way soon. It will be tiresome to have to go to town every day for radiation , for it will mean going into town twice a day since we also have evening activities 4-5 times a week. But it is okay, for it will last only about 6 weeks. I hear that some have to have radiation for many more weeks than that so I will not complain. I am also happy that my town has radiation therapy clinic. I met a girl who had to travel one hour just to reach the radiation clinic in another town and then the hour back home. She did it every day for more than 6 weeks. I will rejoice in the blessings God has given me and one is that I don't have to travel to another city. Thank you, Lord. Another blessing is the meals that people bring. I haven't had too many but sure is a blessing when we receive one. A family of 4 kids needed to do a 4-H community service project and chose us and another family as their project. We recieved the meal yesterday evening which we ate tonight (what perfect timing since I was feeling so poorly). The meal was delicious along with homemade cheesecake (so yummy). Thanks Hayley, Rachael, and Caleb. I am praying that tomorrow is a better day since it's a busy day. Thanks too for your prayers. God does hear. I think that my chemo effects have been less severe due to all the prayers. Love you.....

James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perservance.

Chemo Day 5

Hebrews 13:5 For He has said, I will never leave you or forsake you.
May your troubled heart find peace and comfort in the knowledge that you are never alone. May God's presence ease your trembling spirit and give you rest. He knows how you feel. He is ever aware of your circumstances and ready to be your strength, your grace, and your peace. He is there to cast sunlight into all your darkened shadows, so send encouragement through the love of friends and family and to replace your weariness with new hope. (from part of a card)

Last night I started to have some bone pain and thought today would be worse but not so bad. It seems to be more in my ankles and hip joints. Also had constipation which of course I just hate. Sorta of funny that I had constipation today for I went to see the gastroenterologist (stomach dr) but all I really saw was his nurse practicioner who was really nice. I went for my primary care doctor wants me to have a colonoscopy--yucky!!! Only because I am 50 years old and sometimes having breast cancer can lead to colon cancer. I got to talk to the nurse practioner about my breast cancer for she wanted to ask a personal question about how my cancer was found. We talked about mammograms and how I was late in getting one and she is late now. I told her that if ever she or anyone she knows is diagnosed with breast cancer that they should get the breast MRI. That is my message to ladies these days. While talking to her, I realized that even if I had my mammogram on time, it might not have shown up at that time for I had just started hormone therapy after having a hysterectomy. The tumor was estrogen positive so probably grew quickly from the hormone therapy I was receiving. It might not have grown enough in the beginning for it to be noticed in a mammorgram. Of course, I don't know this--just speculating. I do encourage of you ladies to get mammorgrams on a regular basis. It is so much better to catch cancer early on. Many don't even need chemo unless it starts to move to other parts like lymph nodes. Anyway, I will be having a colonoscopy next month on Nov. 17. I dread the prep. Larry had this done last Feb. so sorta of know what to expect. Thanks to all who are praying for me. You are all so kind!!!! Love you.....

God is your stronghold, and with Him as your guide, you need never be afraid. No circumstances can block HIs love. No grief is too hard for Him to bear. No task is too difficult for Him to complete. When what you are feeling is simply too deep for words and nothing anyone does or says can provide you with the relief you need, God understands. He is your provider--today, tomorrow, and always. And He loves you. Cast all your cares on Him and believe. (from the rest of the card I posted on top)