wig

I Chronicle 16:10-11 Glory in His Holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rerjoice. Look to the Lord and his strength, seek his face always.

My hair is really starting to grow--blonde looking but not curly. I acutally shaved my legs the other day--was the first time in months. It felt good, hard to imagine since I hate shaving. lol. I went into town to go shopping today and decided to wear another wig that I got back in May from the American Cancer society. It is very short--not me at all but I wore it. My son took a picture which I will put on this post. A friend said she liked it and my daughter, wasn't too sure about it--"interesting hairstyle". In other words....you are crazy!!! lol. Oh, well.....who knows, maybe I will continue to wear it. I got a terrible headache while in town which is unusual for me and it went away after i took my wig off. Wonder if there is a connection... I told you that I am trying to lose weight by using my Wii Fit Plus. I have lost almost 5 pounds in 2 days. Wow, lost all my Christmas weight. I hope I can continue to lose the pounds. My skin at the radiated site is looking awful--like an alligator--lol. It is dry and peeling but thick and just so rough feeling. Not sure if the aloe vera gel is helping but I am trying to apply it often. Still hurts to sleep on my side but it is getting some better.

I am looking forward to the new year. I am praying that 2010 is a wonderful year and I am wishing each of you a happy , happy new year!!! Thanks for being interested in my life and my journey through cancer. Some of you I know but there are others that I don't know and yet, you continue to check up on me and I hope you are praying for me and growing closer to God as I am. Love you all....

Galatians 6:2a Carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Great news on finances

Psalm 118: 28-29 You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lored, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Great news!!!! I went to the cancer center here in my town to talk about my bill. In case you don't know, I took about 15 treatments here in my town and realized that the center is not part of my insurance's plan so they paid very little. I went to San Antonio when I discovered that my insurance wasn't paying for I should be 100% covered if the center I go to is in the plan. That means that I shouldn't be paying anything except co-pays for doctor visits. So. since I had 15 treatments, my bill was getting quite high--thousands of dollars. I went to see if I could pay a lesser amount for no one had told me that they were not part of the hospital system that their building is in--they just rent the building space. That is why I didn't check to see about my insurance for they are in the same building as my doctors and chemo clinic, so I thought they were part of the same system. Anyway, at this moment, the bill for the center was up to $10,000 with more to come and I asked if I could give just $5000 and call it good and they discussed it and said yes!!!!! My sweet mom had given me a $5000 check to help with the bill so I gave that to them. The business director came out to see me and thanked me for wanting to settle my bill. I was surprised that he did that but maybe they are happy not to have to "come after me to pay" or maybe something else,....who knows but anyway, they were nice about it all. I then asked about the doctor's bill. They went to talk to the doctor and he decided to charge me medicare rate and my insurance paid even more than medicare would have so I don't owe a penny there!!! God is so good. Oh, how I prayed today---all day-- that their hearts would be softened and understanding. Thanks for your prayers!!!! God does hear!!!

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs accordking to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Tuesday

I Samuel 3:18 He is the Lord, let him do what is good in his eyes.

The year 2009 is nearly at the end. This has not been the best year for me nor for my family. We had 3 family memebers with cancer this past year. But, God is so good, for in a way, this has been a good year. I have grown closer to God and have learned to trust Him completely. I've been reading a devotional book that was given to me by Valerie G. and it talks alot about suffering and how God uses it for our good; to make ua a better person. We all have to suffer at some time or another and we need to remember that it is in our best interest for we become stronger and a better person if we allow God to use it for His purpose. KK, you have suffered quite a bit too with the loss of a child and I know God is using this time in your life too to make you into a stronger and better person. Praying for you.

Ouch, my kitten just jumped on my chest and wants to sleep there but oh, it's so tender so had to move him. It is still red and peeling. The worse spot, on the bottom area almost looks like a scab but I've not had any bleeding. Last night I woke up with my nightgown stuck to my chest and it wouldn't peel off easily so waiting until morning so I could wet the gown to get it unstuck. I wonder when this will clear up. The first area that was radiated didn't go through this much trouble but it didn't have the high dosage of radiation.

I am really in need of losing weight so yesterday I worked out with my Wii Fit Plus that I got for Christmas. In fact, the whole family had fun working out with it. I did it again this morning. I can't do all the exercises for it hurts to raise my left arm up high but I can do most and I should exercise that arm so the chest muscles doesn't get too stiff. Should do it again this afternoon and as soon as weather is dryer and not so cold, will start walking again with my neighbor. Thanks for all of your prayers. Love you all.....

Romans 5:3 We also rejoice in our suffereings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance, perserverance characther, and character hope.

Peeling

Jeremiah 32:26 I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I enjoyed being with my family and my mom. My son gave me a breast cancer ornament which is really cool and my mom gave me a pink jacket that says 'Celebrate life' with a breast cancer ribbon on it

By the way, when I described my radiated area, I described it wrong in the shape....it does look like an eggplant but I had it upside down. The narrow part is nearer the nipple whereas the bottom part is at the top area. Anyway, the skin is peeling and it looks grey (the peeling skin). Yuck. And the skin underneath is raw looking....not oozing but looks like it could anytime. There is no way I can wear a bra---hurts too much. However, I was able to sleep all night in my bed. Pain wasn't too bad so was able to stay in my bed. I am so ready for this burn to completely heal. It's hard to even raise my left arm up all the way for it causes pain but I just keep going as best as i can. It's going to be okay. Now, about my wig....I am wearing a headband to cover up the bangs, at least part of it. I don't think you can tell much unless you really look at it. I don't particular like the way I have to wear the headband but at least I can wear the wig. My hair is growing....my eyebrows are really growing and I had to shave hair off my chin!!! lol. won't be long when I won't need the wig.

Psalm 3:5-6 I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.

Christmas Eve incident

Merry Christmas!!!!

Just a quick note!! Last night I ruined my wig!!! Yes, I singed it by taking a pie out of the oven for my stepmom at my dad's house. We were celebrating Christmas Eve with them. Sarah said my hair was messed up but I thought it was just caused by the wind--it was a windy day. But when looking in the mirror, I noticed it looked strange and then it dawned on me,....it's melted some. It looks awful. It's the bangs.....so, now what am I going to do. I still need to wear a wig. It cost me $70!!! I have some free ones but I really don't like them. I was close to tears. Early this morning while still half asleep, I was thinking about the wig. I never wear it at home when cooking so never had a problem with taking things out of the oven. It never occured to me that I could ruin my wig that way. I will admit that I was slightly upset with God for letting that happen---as if it was his fault. I rarely get upset with Him but I was thinking that He's not going to repair it so why.......why, did it happen; after all I was helping out, being nice. Silly me...it's just a wig. Sarah thinks she can fix it since she works with wigs in the theatre but I don't see how anything can be done to fix it.....oh, well......I'm not going to let it ruin my Christmas ...after all I will just wear my Santa's hat. :) Merry Christmas!!! Love you....

Luke 2:10-11 I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord!!!

Chrstmas Eve

Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!! It surprises me that I am still having pain and that it seems worse when I lie down to sleep. I can't lie on my side for the pain is really bad. I hate sleeping on my back so about 1:30 am, I got up to sleep in the recliner which helped. I will try to describe what my radiated area looks like. It is shaped like an eggplant with the narrow part high up between the breasts (like in the sternum area) and the bottom part goes toward the nipple but not that far down. The bottom part on the left side is where the worse burn is located--almost blistered but not quite. So, when trying to sleep on my side, that area gets scrunched up and hurts. When I put on a bra, it lifts the breasts and hurts that area too. Ouch....I know that this pain will subside. It also feels dry and is trying to peel in some areas. I put on that aloe vera gel quite frequently. The bad thing about the aloe vera gel is that it is sticky so my clothes gets stuck on the area and hurts to peel it off. I'm always afraid that skin will peel off but it never does. lol. Some of the scar from the lumpectomy is quite red from the radiation and it's tender to touch. Maybe my description helps you to understand somewhat where the pain is and how it looks. I feel so old at times for I get so stiff after sleeping or sitting for awhile. Hard to move around. I don't know if that is from any medication or what. That is a side effect from the pill I will be taking starting in Feb. but I haven't had it yet. But all in all, I am doing pretty well. I saw a lady at the bank yesterday (she works there) that I have known for years and she thought my wig was really my hair and that I had just dyed it or something. She didn't realize I had cancer and she said I look pretty good. Yes, you can't really tell that I've been through cancer treatments. God has been so good to me. Well, enjoy your Christmas and remember that Jesus is the reason we celebrate Christmas. He was born to save us--he suffered for us. He understands all about suffering--what a great Savior. Thanks for your prayers.

I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.

Wig

Deuteronomy 33:27a The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are teh everlasting arms....

Wigs need cleaning too like hair but not as often. Well, I've not washed my wig in a long time for I need a good day at home where I don't need to wear my wig. It takes a long time for a wig to dry for you can't use any heat--no blow dryer. I finally washed my wig on Monday night for I knew it needed a good cleaning. It didn't look dirty but just seemed dry and , well, not sure how to explain it but I just knew it needed something. I washed it with regular shampoo and after the water emptied out of my bathroom sink, there was lots of dirt left behind. I didn't realize it was that dirty!!!!! It looks better now and it is finally dried so I can wear it today. I will be so happy not to wear a wig again. My hair is so slow in growing back. It is a daily reminder too of my 'cancer situation'. Last night I wore my Santa hat when company came over for dinner. The man questioned on where my hair was--wasn't sure that my hair was a wig. I thought he knew. I hope he wasn't uncomfortable but I don't think so. He used to work with a woman who wore hats to work, never wore a wig.

My radiated area is still hurting. The time it bothers me the most is at bedtime. I have a hard time getting comfortable. You would have thought that the pain would have subsided by now but no, it's still there. Some of the redness is lessening but there are areas that is still quite red. As I type this, my kitten is sitting on my chest where it hurts but he is so little and light that he really doesn't make it hurt more. lol. Hope you are all ready for Christmas. I am done--now,it's time to clean the house and just enjoy time with my boys and husband. Merry Christmas to each of you. I am so thankful that I am here to enjoy Christmas. When you have cancer, you see things differently. I am not taking my life for granted but am feeling blessed to be here. Thanks again for your prayers. Love you all.....

I Chronicles 16:8-9 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.