X-rays and distractions

Hebrews 12:2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith....

Today I had a CT Scan of the abdomen and pelvis plus a bone scan. All went pretty well except when the lady started my IV for the dye injection, my blood squirted out so fast that it spilled onto my jeans. It was a mess and of course, you really can't clean up it so I had to walk around with this terrible wet, blood stained jeans. (I almost wore my beige jeans, praise God that I didn't). I did alot of waiting around and since I live 30 minutes away from the hospital, I just sat in my car in the hospital parking lot reading a Barbara Johnson book (she's so funny but serious too). I probably won't know x-ray results until I see the onocologist on May 15.
This morning during my quiet time with the Lord, I was reminded about Peter when he was walking on water. When he kept his eyes on Jesus, all was well but when he got distracted from the waves around him, he began to sink. I was like Peter yesterday. I was reading on breastcancer.org website on the discussion borads about port placements and chemo. After reading quite a few posts, I got anxious about the port placement for I thought it would be a simple procedure and the next day, I'll be up and running around again. Well, there is a possiblity that I will experience pain for a few days. (still having some pain on left side from muscle tightness). Then I saw some women mention a couple of chemos that the radiation dr. said I might be receiving and they said that one is usually given for a year and the other one is given for 5 years. I guess I thought that I will be given chemo for a few months and then it will all over and I will go on my merry way. Well, I did feel some anxiety which I've not really felt during this time. However, I was reminded of scriptures (they are all over my house-lol) that God is with me and He is in control. I, like Peter, took my eyes off Jesus and that is why I had the anxiety but now my eyes are focused back on Jesus and I am feeling that peace again. I am glad I read those posts so that if those things occur, I won't be so surprised. And whatever happens, so be it. I will do whatever it takes to be sure we get rid of any lurking cancer cells. God is in control and He has a plan for my life. Okay, God, you are in the driver's seat again.
I had another experience today that caught me off guard. I recieved a wonderful gift from a friend who lives near Washington DC. She sent me my first hat to wear when I lose my hair. It is a blue jean type and very cute--thanks Melissa!!! Anyway, I put up my hair and hid my bangs to see what I would look like and I suddenly got very teary eyed. Guess it just hit me that this is real and it's probably going to happen. I've been thinking about the loss of my hair alot to prepare myself but guess we are not always prepared like we think. I'm going to be fine--I know I will. Hope my family will be....I know they will be too. Love you all. Keep your eyes on Jesus no matter what circumstances you find yourself in.

Jeremiah 29:11 I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.