Jeremiah 32:26 I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?
Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I enjoyed being with my family and my mom. My son gave me a breast cancer ornament which is really cool and my mom gave me a pink jacket that says 'Celebrate life' with a breast cancer ribbon on it
By the way, when I described my radiated area, I described it wrong in the shape....it does look like an eggplant but I had it upside down. The narrow part is nearer the nipple whereas the bottom part is at the top area. Anyway, the skin is peeling and it looks grey (the peeling skin). Yuck. And the skin underneath is raw looking....not oozing but looks like it could anytime. There is no way I can wear a bra---hurts too much. However, I was able to sleep all night in my bed. Pain wasn't too bad so was able to stay in my bed. I am so ready for this burn to completely heal. It's hard to even raise my left arm up all the way for it causes pain but I just keep going as best as i can. It's going to be okay. Now, about my wig....I am wearing a headband to cover up the bangs, at least part of it. I don't think you can tell much unless you really look at it. I don't particular like the way I have to wear the headband but at least I can wear the wig. My hair is growing....my eyebrows are really growing and I had to shave hair off my chin!!! lol. won't be long when I won't need the wig.
Psalm 3:5-6 I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Christmas Eve incident
Merry Christmas!!!!
Just a quick note!! Last night I ruined my wig!!! Yes, I singed it by taking a pie out of the oven for my stepmom at my dad's house. We were celebrating Christmas Eve with them. Sarah said my hair was messed up but I thought it was just caused by the wind--it was a windy day. But when looking in the mirror, I noticed it looked strange and then it dawned on me,....it's melted some. It looks awful. It's the bangs.....so, now what am I going to do. I still need to wear a wig. It cost me $70!!! I have some free ones but I really don't like them. I was close to tears. Early this morning while still half asleep, I was thinking about the wig. I never wear it at home when cooking so never had a problem with taking things out of the oven. It never occured to me that I could ruin my wig that way. I will admit that I was slightly upset with God for letting that happen---as if it was his fault. I rarely get upset with Him but I was thinking that He's not going to repair it so why.......why, did it happen; after all I was helping out, being nice. Silly me...it's just a wig. Sarah thinks she can fix it since she works with wigs in the theatre but I don't see how anything can be done to fix it.....oh, well......I'm not going to let it ruin my Christmas ...after all I will just wear my Santa's hat. :) Merry Christmas!!! Love you....
Luke 2:10-11 I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord!!!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Chrstmas Eve
Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Merry Christmas everyone!!!! It surprises me that I am still having pain and that it seems worse when I lie down to sleep. I can't lie on my side for the pain is really bad. I hate sleeping on my back so about 1:30 am, I got up to sleep in the recliner which helped. I will try to describe what my radiated area looks like. It is shaped like an eggplant with the narrow part high up between the breasts (like in the sternum area) and the bottom part goes toward the nipple but not that far down. The bottom part on the left side is where the worse burn is located--almost blistered but not quite. So, when trying to sleep on my side, that area gets scrunched up and hurts. When I put on a bra, it lifts the breasts and hurts that area too. Ouch....I know that this pain will subside. It also feels dry and is trying to peel in some areas. I put on that aloe vera gel quite frequently. The bad thing about the aloe vera gel is that it is sticky so my clothes gets stuck on the area and hurts to peel it off. I'm always afraid that skin will peel off but it never does. lol. Some of the scar from the lumpectomy is quite red from the radiation and it's tender to touch. Maybe my description helps you to understand somewhat where the pain is and how it looks. I feel so old at times for I get so stiff after sleeping or sitting for awhile. Hard to move around. I don't know if that is from any medication or what. That is a side effect from the pill I will be taking starting in Feb. but I haven't had it yet. But all in all, I am doing pretty well. I saw a lady at the bank yesterday (she works there) that I have known for years and she thought my wig was really my hair and that I had just dyed it or something. She didn't realize I had cancer and she said I look pretty good. Yes, you can't really tell that I've been through cancer treatments. God has been so good to me. Well, enjoy your Christmas and remember that Jesus is the reason we celebrate Christmas. He was born to save us--he suffered for us. He understands all about suffering--what a great Savior. Thanks for your prayers.
I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.
Merry Christmas everyone!!!! It surprises me that I am still having pain and that it seems worse when I lie down to sleep. I can't lie on my side for the pain is really bad. I hate sleeping on my back so about 1:30 am, I got up to sleep in the recliner which helped. I will try to describe what my radiated area looks like. It is shaped like an eggplant with the narrow part high up between the breasts (like in the sternum area) and the bottom part goes toward the nipple but not that far down. The bottom part on the left side is where the worse burn is located--almost blistered but not quite. So, when trying to sleep on my side, that area gets scrunched up and hurts. When I put on a bra, it lifts the breasts and hurts that area too. Ouch....I know that this pain will subside. It also feels dry and is trying to peel in some areas. I put on that aloe vera gel quite frequently. The bad thing about the aloe vera gel is that it is sticky so my clothes gets stuck on the area and hurts to peel it off. I'm always afraid that skin will peel off but it never does. lol. Some of the scar from the lumpectomy is quite red from the radiation and it's tender to touch. Maybe my description helps you to understand somewhat where the pain is and how it looks. I feel so old at times for I get so stiff after sleeping or sitting for awhile. Hard to move around. I don't know if that is from any medication or what. That is a side effect from the pill I will be taking starting in Feb. but I haven't had it yet. But all in all, I am doing pretty well. I saw a lady at the bank yesterday (she works there) that I have known for years and she thought my wig was really my hair and that I had just dyed it or something. She didn't realize I had cancer and she said I look pretty good. Yes, you can't really tell that I've been through cancer treatments. God has been so good to me. Well, enjoy your Christmas and remember that Jesus is the reason we celebrate Christmas. He was born to save us--he suffered for us. He understands all about suffering--what a great Savior. Thanks for your prayers.
I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Wig
Deuteronomy 33:27a The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are teh everlasting arms....
Wigs need cleaning too like hair but not as often. Well, I've not washed my wig in a long time for I need a good day at home where I don't need to wear my wig. It takes a long time for a wig to dry for you can't use any heat--no blow dryer. I finally washed my wig on Monday night for I knew it needed a good cleaning. It didn't look dirty but just seemed dry and , well, not sure how to explain it but I just knew it needed something. I washed it with regular shampoo and after the water emptied out of my bathroom sink, there was lots of dirt left behind. I didn't realize it was that dirty!!!!! It looks better now and it is finally dried so I can wear it today. I will be so happy not to wear a wig again. My hair is so slow in growing back. It is a daily reminder too of my 'cancer situation'. Last night I wore my Santa hat when company came over for dinner. The man questioned on where my hair was--wasn't sure that my hair was a wig. I thought he knew. I hope he wasn't uncomfortable but I don't think so. He used to work with a woman who wore hats to work, never wore a wig.
My radiated area is still hurting. The time it bothers me the most is at bedtime. I have a hard time getting comfortable. You would have thought that the pain would have subsided by now but no, it's still there. Some of the redness is lessening but there are areas that is still quite red. As I type this, my kitten is sitting on my chest where it hurts but he is so little and light that he really doesn't make it hurt more. lol. Hope you are all ready for Christmas. I am done--now,it's time to clean the house and just enjoy time with my boys and husband. Merry Christmas to each of you. I am so thankful that I am here to enjoy Christmas. When you have cancer, you see things differently. I am not taking my life for granted but am feeling blessed to be here. Thanks again for your prayers. Love you all.....
I Chronicles 16:8-9 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.
Wigs need cleaning too like hair but not as often. Well, I've not washed my wig in a long time for I need a good day at home where I don't need to wear my wig. It takes a long time for a wig to dry for you can't use any heat--no blow dryer. I finally washed my wig on Monday night for I knew it needed a good cleaning. It didn't look dirty but just seemed dry and , well, not sure how to explain it but I just knew it needed something. I washed it with regular shampoo and after the water emptied out of my bathroom sink, there was lots of dirt left behind. I didn't realize it was that dirty!!!!! It looks better now and it is finally dried so I can wear it today. I will be so happy not to wear a wig again. My hair is so slow in growing back. It is a daily reminder too of my 'cancer situation'. Last night I wore my Santa hat when company came over for dinner. The man questioned on where my hair was--wasn't sure that my hair was a wig. I thought he knew. I hope he wasn't uncomfortable but I don't think so. He used to work with a woman who wore hats to work, never wore a wig.
My radiated area is still hurting. The time it bothers me the most is at bedtime. I have a hard time getting comfortable. You would have thought that the pain would have subsided by now but no, it's still there. Some of the redness is lessening but there are areas that is still quite red. As I type this, my kitten is sitting on my chest where it hurts but he is so little and light that he really doesn't make it hurt more. lol. Hope you are all ready for Christmas. I am done--now,it's time to clean the house and just enjoy time with my boys and husband. Merry Christmas to each of you. I am so thankful that I am here to enjoy Christmas. When you have cancer, you see things differently. I am not taking my life for granted but am feeling blessed to be here. Thanks again for your prayers. Love you all.....
I Chronicles 16:8-9 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Onocologist visit and Herceptin infusion
I Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.
Saw the onocologist today. He said that my cancer markers were good...in other words, no signs of cancer. Yippee!!!! I told him that the doctor in San Antonio saw a shadow on the cat scan and was concerned. He said we'll do another cat scan sometime. He decided not to start the Arimidex (anti-estrogen medication) now so that I can have a break!!! Will start it in Feb. when I see him next (Feb. 1). I am to have a echocardiogram (checking my heart) on Jan. 15 to be sure the Herceptin hasn't caused any heart damage. I had Herceptin today and it infused without any problems. My port is doing well!!! I also had my coumadin level checked and it was where it needed to be which makes it 2 times in a row that it is good so I don't have to go back for a month--the first time. I usually go every 2 or 3 weeks. So, today was good news day!!! So nice before Christmas. I finished reading the book "After breast Cancer". It was a good book and so helpful. My radiated area still bothers me and looks an angry red but no blisters. It is almost itchy too. Can't scratch it!!! Wearing a bra definitely bothers me so I am actually going out this evening without one---yikes. I have my support undershirt thing on which helps and will probably put on a jacket too. Just going to a store while my boys are at basketball practice. Thanks for your prayers---couldn't have made it without your prayers and support. Love you all......
I Chronicles 16:10-11 Glory in His Holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and His strength; seek his face always.
Saw the onocologist today. He said that my cancer markers were good...in other words, no signs of cancer. Yippee!!!! I told him that the doctor in San Antonio saw a shadow on the cat scan and was concerned. He said we'll do another cat scan sometime. He decided not to start the Arimidex (anti-estrogen medication) now so that I can have a break!!! Will start it in Feb. when I see him next (Feb. 1). I am to have a echocardiogram (checking my heart) on Jan. 15 to be sure the Herceptin hasn't caused any heart damage. I had Herceptin today and it infused without any problems. My port is doing well!!! I also had my coumadin level checked and it was where it needed to be which makes it 2 times in a row that it is good so I don't have to go back for a month--the first time. I usually go every 2 or 3 weeks. So, today was good news day!!! So nice before Christmas. I finished reading the book "After breast Cancer". It was a good book and so helpful. My radiated area still bothers me and looks an angry red but no blisters. It is almost itchy too. Can't scratch it!!! Wearing a bra definitely bothers me so I am actually going out this evening without one---yikes. I have my support undershirt thing on which helps and will probably put on a jacket too. Just going to a store while my boys are at basketball practice. Thanks for your prayers---couldn't have made it without your prayers and support. Love you all......
I Chronicles 16:10-11 Glory in His Holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and His strength; seek his face always.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sunday
Proverbs 23:18 There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.
I received a DVD from a friend of my mom's a week or so ago but haven't watched it yet until today. This friend has breast cancer too. The DVD is called "Stepping into the Ring" and it is a testimony of Nicole Johnson who has breast cancer. She talks while in a boxing ring and she pretends to be boxing as she speaks. She talks about how she reacted when she received the news of having breaast cancer which she felt so angry and then the despair (an enemy as she calls it that attacks anyone going through any loss) she went through but then she found hope after she turned back to God. She heard a nurse read to a patient from Isaiah that says ' Your hope will not be cut off.'' Your breast might get cut off but hope doesn't get cut off". She talks about how we can have hope no matter what we are going through whether it's cancer, bad marriage, divorce, some other illness, loss of a child, or whatever. I loved what she said 'I have cancer but cancer doesn't have me." She goes on to say that we may have hair loss or breast loss but it can't have our heart nor our spirit." It was a short testimony but oh, so moving. This friend of my mom's sent a pair of small pink boxing gloves too. I will hang them up and it will remind me of hope and that cancer doesn't have my heart nor spirit!!!! I really feel so blessed not to have gone through the anger nor despair like she did. I did have moments of sadness and wondering why.... but never despair nor depression. I took hold of that hope in the very beginning. She does have humor too: such as saying "with breasts , they pleased my husband, fed my babies, and made my stomach look smaller. " 'Not to balance check books while on pain killers. " I tried to find the verse in Isaiah that she quoted by using the internet and I found it in Proverbs (I wrote it on top)..... Just wanted to share with you about this DVD. We all go through some kind of trial or tough times and we can all grab hold of hope in God and trust Him to carry us through these tough times. I believe in the power of prayers too and I do believe so much that prayer is what got me though my tough days. Thanks for your prayers.
Psalm 9:18 But the needy will not always be forgotten, not the hopes of the afflicted ever perish,.
I received a DVD from a friend of my mom's a week or so ago but haven't watched it yet until today. This friend has breast cancer too. The DVD is called "Stepping into the Ring" and it is a testimony of Nicole Johnson who has breast cancer. She talks while in a boxing ring and she pretends to be boxing as she speaks. She talks about how she reacted when she received the news of having breaast cancer which she felt so angry and then the despair (an enemy as she calls it that attacks anyone going through any loss) she went through but then she found hope after she turned back to God. She heard a nurse read to a patient from Isaiah that says ' Your hope will not be cut off.'' Your breast might get cut off but hope doesn't get cut off". She talks about how we can have hope no matter what we are going through whether it's cancer, bad marriage, divorce, some other illness, loss of a child, or whatever. I loved what she said 'I have cancer but cancer doesn't have me." She goes on to say that we may have hair loss or breast loss but it can't have our heart nor our spirit." It was a short testimony but oh, so moving. This friend of my mom's sent a pair of small pink boxing gloves too. I will hang them up and it will remind me of hope and that cancer doesn't have my heart nor spirit!!!! I really feel so blessed not to have gone through the anger nor despair like she did. I did have moments of sadness and wondering why.... but never despair nor depression. I took hold of that hope in the very beginning. She does have humor too: such as saying "with breasts , they pleased my husband, fed my babies, and made my stomach look smaller. " 'Not to balance check books while on pain killers. " I tried to find the verse in Isaiah that she quoted by using the internet and I found it in Proverbs (I wrote it on top)..... Just wanted to share with you about this DVD. We all go through some kind of trial or tough times and we can all grab hold of hope in God and trust Him to carry us through these tough times. I believe in the power of prayers too and I do believe so much that prayer is what got me though my tough days. Thanks for your prayers.
Psalm 9:18 But the needy will not always be forgotten, not the hopes of the afflicted ever perish,.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Saturday
James 1:3-4 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
It was so nice to get to unpack my suitcase totally and put it back into the attic!!! We will be staying home for Christmas so no packing for awhile. My radiated area has a small section that seems to be extra burned but I don't think it's blistered but maybe close...I have been puttng aloe vera gel on more frequently. I didn't wear my bra for most of the day but this evening I did since we went to a party. I am really tired this evening for I didn't sleep so well last night--not sure why...will go to bed earlier tonight.
On Monday, I get my coumadin level checked again plus see the onocologist and then get Herceptin--my IV medication. I probably will be starting the oral anti-estrogen medication soon for the dr. said that when I complete radiation that I will be started on Arimedix (not sure if that is correct spelling and too lazy to go look it up --lol) It has side effects but I am praying that it won't bother me too much. I have to take it for 5 years.
Today I wore a santa hat instead of my turban at home. lol. I thought it looked cute. My hair is growing--I can really see that it's coming along. It's not curly but it is blonde. My eyelashes are really growing back and I wore mascara top and bottom eyelashes today. Cool. I am so ready to look normal again. Will be glad too when I can wear any shirt I want so hopefully the radiated area starts to look more normal quickly. The doctor said it will not be normal as before but should be close.....Yikes, we'll have to see. Oh, well.....shouldn't be showing that part off anyway. lol. Well, have a great day. Love you all and thanks again for prayers.
Proverbs 24:10 If thou faint in the day of adversity, they strength is small.
It was so nice to get to unpack my suitcase totally and put it back into the attic!!! We will be staying home for Christmas so no packing for awhile. My radiated area has a small section that seems to be extra burned but I don't think it's blistered but maybe close...I have been puttng aloe vera gel on more frequently. I didn't wear my bra for most of the day but this evening I did since we went to a party. I am really tired this evening for I didn't sleep so well last night--not sure why...will go to bed earlier tonight.
On Monday, I get my coumadin level checked again plus see the onocologist and then get Herceptin--my IV medication. I probably will be starting the oral anti-estrogen medication soon for the dr. said that when I complete radiation that I will be started on Arimedix (not sure if that is correct spelling and too lazy to go look it up --lol) It has side effects but I am praying that it won't bother me too much. I have to take it for 5 years.
Today I wore a santa hat instead of my turban at home. lol. I thought it looked cute. My hair is growing--I can really see that it's coming along. It's not curly but it is blonde. My eyelashes are really growing back and I wore mascara top and bottom eyelashes today. Cool. I am so ready to look normal again. Will be glad too when I can wear any shirt I want so hopefully the radiated area starts to look more normal quickly. The doctor said it will not be normal as before but should be close.....Yikes, we'll have to see. Oh, well.....shouldn't be showing that part off anyway. lol. Well, have a great day. Love you all and thanks again for prayers.
Proverbs 24:10 If thou faint in the day of adversity, they strength is small.
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