Exodus 23:25 Worship the Lord your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you.
Today I had my radiation onocologist appointment which was in the cancer treatment center where radiation therapy is done. Larry, my husband, went with me. We first watched a video about radiation therapy which was quite informative. Then he came to visit with us. I liked him right away for he was pleasant, not in a hurry, and made sure we understood and was willing to answer whatever questions I had. He seemed gentle too when he examined me. He even gave me some idea about chemo too like how long and maybe some of the medications I might receive but we won't know for sure unitl I visit with the chemo onocologist which won't be until May 15. Radiation therapy will start several weeks after I finish normal chemo. Talked about the side effects--mainly irritated, redden skin and he said I could use aloe vera gel to help and hydrocortizone if itchy. Said I could have some nausea , dry cough, slight loss of appetite , and fatigue. I read a discussion board last night on fatigue with radiation therapy and the majority mentioned that they experienced extreme fatigue, worse than chemo fatigue. Yikes.... I get tired already without anything else causing fatigue. I don't like to sit around and not do things so that's going to be a hard time for me. And I figure that I will be taking radiation right when it's time to start homeschooling again for the fall semester. Luckily my boys are able to do so much on their own. Also, the dr. and I discussed about getting a 2nd opinion from MD Anderson Hospital and he said that was fine but he did say that more than likely since I have a common type of cancer, that they would recommend the same treatment that the doctors here would. I have decided not to go to MD Anderson. I am confident that I will get a good treatment plan here and I am willing to do whatever it takes to eradicate any lurking cancer cells in my body. I want to be "cured" for years to come. Oh, some of you have asked whether the estrogen receptors and HER-2 were positive or negative. I found out today that they are both positive which is good thing. The progesterone receptors are in the middle--neither positive nor negative but low but he says that won't matter (whatever that means :) Today I bought some new clothes to wear so I will be comfortable when taking chemo, etc. It felt good to go shopping for myself!!!! Physically I am feeling pretty good today--a little tired for I went shopping for a long time (groceries mainly). I bought several items that I've read that I might need when taking chemo...getting things ready!!!!!
Isaiah 41:10 Do not be afraid for I am with you; Do not look anxiously about for I AM your
God; I will strengthen you , surely I will help you; Surely I will uphold you with my righteous hand.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Back and hip pain
Matthew 6:8 .... your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.
God is so good. I have scoliosis (curvature of the spine) which means I experience back and hip pain at times. I visit the chiropracter to help alleviate the pain which usually helps. I had an appointment to see the chiropracter the day I was diagnosed with breast cancer. In fact, the minute I walked out the door with that diagnosis reeling in my mind, I should have been at the chiropracter so I immediately called and canceled and told them that I had cancer. They were the first ones to really know that I had cancer. I've not been back yet. I kept thinking that I should make an appointment before surgery for usually my hip and back pain worsens when I sit or lie down a lot. But I wasn't hurting much so just kept postponing it. Then the weekend before surgery, I started hurting and wishing I had seen the chiropracter. Well, I didn't even think about praying for it for I was praying more for the surgery and healing from cancer, etc. But God is so good for He knew what I needed and that was to be relieved from pain from the hip and back problems. I didn't notice it at first but a few days after surgery and since then, I realized that I've not had any back nor hip pain since surgery!!!! Isn't that amazing. God meets our needs even when we don't ask. Thank you, God!!!! Of course, God wants us to ask but I'm so thankful that He knows my needs better than I know and is so willing to meet those needs. Sometimes our minds are so consumed on other things that we forget about some other need that we have too. Tomorrow I see the radiation onocologist so I need to sit down and do some reading so I can be sure to understand what he is telling me plus I can know what kinds of questions to ask. Continue to pray as these doctors plan out my treatments for me. I am praying that this will be the only bout with cancer and that it doesn't come back. Thanks for your prayers.
Isaiah 12:4 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what He has done , and proclaim that His name is exalted.
God is so good. I have scoliosis (curvature of the spine) which means I experience back and hip pain at times. I visit the chiropracter to help alleviate the pain which usually helps. I had an appointment to see the chiropracter the day I was diagnosed with breast cancer. In fact, the minute I walked out the door with that diagnosis reeling in my mind, I should have been at the chiropracter so I immediately called and canceled and told them that I had cancer. They were the first ones to really know that I had cancer. I've not been back yet. I kept thinking that I should make an appointment before surgery for usually my hip and back pain worsens when I sit or lie down a lot. But I wasn't hurting much so just kept postponing it. Then the weekend before surgery, I started hurting and wishing I had seen the chiropracter. Well, I didn't even think about praying for it for I was praying more for the surgery and healing from cancer, etc. But God is so good for He knew what I needed and that was to be relieved from pain from the hip and back problems. I didn't notice it at first but a few days after surgery and since then, I realized that I've not had any back nor hip pain since surgery!!!! Isn't that amazing. God meets our needs even when we don't ask. Thank you, God!!!! Of course, God wants us to ask but I'm so thankful that He knows my needs better than I know and is so willing to meet those needs. Sometimes our minds are so consumed on other things that we forget about some other need that we have too. Tomorrow I see the radiation onocologist so I need to sit down and do some reading so I can be sure to understand what he is telling me plus I can know what kinds of questions to ask. Continue to pray as these doctors plan out my treatments for me. I am praying that this will be the only bout with cancer and that it doesn't come back. Thanks for your prayers.
Isaiah 12:4 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what He has done , and proclaim that His name is exalted.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Surgery scheduled
Psalm 3:5-6 I lie down to sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands (my cancer) drawn up against me on every side.
Well, the dr. didn't get the date he wanted to insert the port for they were full. My day surgery date for port insertion is now May 7. I had a nice discussion with the surgeon's nurse about the chemo dr. She assured me that he's pretty good. I will have a busy week next week!!! I got to take off the steri-strips off my breast incision this morning. Ah, I was so ready for those strips to come off for they were dirty with blue dye stain, betadine stain plus just dirty. I had been given adhesive tape removal pads so now all is looking clean. However, some of my skin came off with the steri-strips--ouch--so it stings a tad. The incision looks pretty good for an incision!! lol Today as I was showering, I got to thinking how long it takes to wash, condition, and dry my long hair. But soon, I will be bald and my showering will go by so much faster!! lol. Won't have to blow dry and curl my hair. Hey, you have to look at the bright side of things, right? I can't imagine myself bald....I have ugly ears that stick out. lol. I used to walk 2 miles about 4-5 times a week which I've not done in awhile but today I decided it was time to get back to walking. My youngest son went with me---we just walked to the mailbox and back which is about a mile. It felt so good to walk even though it hurt due to the skin abrasion I think from the steri-strips. Will try for a longer walk tomorrow. My neighbor will be happy for we used to walk together. This will get me ready for chemo for I hear that exercising helps.
II. Corinthians 12:9 My grace is suffcient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Well, the dr. didn't get the date he wanted to insert the port for they were full. My day surgery date for port insertion is now May 7. I had a nice discussion with the surgeon's nurse about the chemo dr. She assured me that he's pretty good. I will have a busy week next week!!! I got to take off the steri-strips off my breast incision this morning. Ah, I was so ready for those strips to come off for they were dirty with blue dye stain, betadine stain plus just dirty. I had been given adhesive tape removal pads so now all is looking clean. However, some of my skin came off with the steri-strips--ouch--so it stings a tad. The incision looks pretty good for an incision!! lol Today as I was showering, I got to thinking how long it takes to wash, condition, and dry my long hair. But soon, I will be bald and my showering will go by so much faster!! lol. Won't have to blow dry and curl my hair. Hey, you have to look at the bright side of things, right? I can't imagine myself bald....I have ugly ears that stick out. lol. I used to walk 2 miles about 4-5 times a week which I've not done in awhile but today I decided it was time to get back to walking. My youngest son went with me---we just walked to the mailbox and back which is about a mile. It felt so good to walk even though it hurt due to the skin abrasion I think from the steri-strips. Will try for a longer walk tomorrow. My neighbor will be happy for we used to walk together. This will get me ready for chemo for I hear that exercising helps.
II. Corinthians 12:9 My grace is suffcient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Appointments scheduled
Hebrews 12:12-13 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
Looks like I'll be busy for a couple of weeks with appointments, etc. I will be seeing the radiation dr. this Thursday at 9 am. On May 4, I will have a CT scan of the abdomen and pelvis plus a bone scan. I will be there all morning for I will be injected with a dye for one of the scans at 9 am then I have the CT scans at 10:30 then the bone scan at noon. Can't even eat breakfast due to the CT scan. Hope they let me eat something before the bone scan. :) Then the surgeon wants to put in the port on a Monday but I haven't heard yet when the date is for sure--they were waiting to hear from the operating room. I'm guessing he wants to do it May 11 but not sure. Then I see the chemo dr. on May 15. I hope to start chemo soon after but I'm not sure what else has to be done......
I tried to shave under my left arm today (hasn't been done since surgery) but due to the numbness, I couldn't feel anything nor could I see well so was scared to shave in fear of cutting myself. lol I guess I need an electric razor or something. Felt so weird.
I really felt pretty good today. I did laundry, cleaned the bathroom, straightened up the kitchen area (was messy with stacks of papers, etc), graded school papers, etc. Then I went to a homeschool mom's tea which was enjoyable. The speaker was great and really spoke to me--about knowing God and glorifying Him. This is a time where I am drawing so much closer to God and I hope I can glorify Him through this journey through cancer. It is a journey that God is taking me on and He will walk with me every step of the way. In fact, I'm sure He will have to carry me on part of this journey when it gets tough but I'm letting Him take my hand and lead me down the path. He has been there for me on each part of the journey so far and He promises never to leave me. I will trust Him for I know He loves me and I love Him.
Hebrews 13:5.....Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.
Looks like I'll be busy for a couple of weeks with appointments, etc. I will be seeing the radiation dr. this Thursday at 9 am. On May 4, I will have a CT scan of the abdomen and pelvis plus a bone scan. I will be there all morning for I will be injected with a dye for one of the scans at 9 am then I have the CT scans at 10:30 then the bone scan at noon. Can't even eat breakfast due to the CT scan. Hope they let me eat something before the bone scan. :) Then the surgeon wants to put in the port on a Monday but I haven't heard yet when the date is for sure--they were waiting to hear from the operating room. I'm guessing he wants to do it May 11 but not sure. Then I see the chemo dr. on May 15. I hope to start chemo soon after but I'm not sure what else has to be done......
I tried to shave under my left arm today (hasn't been done since surgery) but due to the numbness, I couldn't feel anything nor could I see well so was scared to shave in fear of cutting myself. lol I guess I need an electric razor or something. Felt so weird.
I really felt pretty good today. I did laundry, cleaned the bathroom, straightened up the kitchen area (was messy with stacks of papers, etc), graded school papers, etc. Then I went to a homeschool mom's tea which was enjoyable. The speaker was great and really spoke to me--about knowing God and glorifying Him. This is a time where I am drawing so much closer to God and I hope I can glorify Him through this journey through cancer. It is a journey that God is taking me on and He will walk with me every step of the way. In fact, I'm sure He will have to carry me on part of this journey when it gets tough but I'm letting Him take my hand and lead me down the path. He has been there for me on each part of the journey so far and He promises never to leave me. I will trust Him for I know He loves me and I love Him.
Hebrews 13:5.....Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
A good day
Psalm 107:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.
Today is Sunday and I'm having a good day. My incisional pain has lessen and there is no more lung pain. What does feel weird is my arm feels like it's raw, like it should be redden from some kind of irritation but when I look at my arm, it looks fine. I think it's the numbness part--the nerve endings? It's like my shirt is bothering it and I'm constantly trying to keep my arm away from the rest of my body. Guess I will have to get use to it or maybe it will lesson in time. Today I have been just praising God and counting my blessings. I have been reading the book that I mentioned yesterday by Jennie, (her story with cancer) and she had a mastectomy and reconstruction. I'm thankful that I did not have to go that route. She didn't have chemo or radiation but I think I would rather have the chemo than what she went through. I am also thankful for my family and friends for they have all been so supportive and encouragingn (love you all) . And I'm really pretty healthy besides this cancer so I'm counting that as a blessing too. And the biggest blessing is having God with me and giving me such peace and faith.
Psalm 107: 8-9 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.
Today is Sunday and I'm having a good day. My incisional pain has lessen and there is no more lung pain. What does feel weird is my arm feels like it's raw, like it should be redden from some kind of irritation but when I look at my arm, it looks fine. I think it's the numbness part--the nerve endings? It's like my shirt is bothering it and I'm constantly trying to keep my arm away from the rest of my body. Guess I will have to get use to it or maybe it will lesson in time. Today I have been just praising God and counting my blessings. I have been reading the book that I mentioned yesterday by Jennie, (her story with cancer) and she had a mastectomy and reconstruction. I'm thankful that I did not have to go that route. She didn't have chemo or radiation but I think I would rather have the chemo than what she went through. I am also thankful for my family and friends for they have all been so supportive and encouragingn (love you all) . And I'm really pretty healthy besides this cancer so I'm counting that as a blessing too. And the biggest blessing is having God with me and giving me such peace and faith.
Psalm 107: 8-9 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Feeling better, time for books, and wigs......
Isaiah 58:8 Your light shall break forth like the morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you: the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
I woke up feeling better with just a tad bit of lung pain and then by mid-morning, no lung pain. Praise God!!! My incision hurts a little and every morning, my arm feels stiff so I have to do the arm exercises to limber up before I shower. I want to use my arm so I make myself wash my hair, etc. I have a tendency not to want to use that left arm. It gets better each day. I went and sold homeschool books at a used book fair which tired me out but I enjoyed getting to see so many who have been praying and following my blog--thanks to you all. It is so nice to know that people do care. We are all so busy and I know myself that I've not always been available to others or let them know I really am praying and do care too. I understand.....
I went to the library the other day and checked out 3 books on breast cancer. One is called "Fighting for our Future---How Young Women find Strength, Hope and Courage while taking Control of Breast Cancer" and is really for younger women and written by using interviews from other women on infomation on cancer. Looks like it has lots of helpful tips. Another one is called "The Feisty Woman's Breast Cancer Book" by Elaine Ratner. It is a down-to-earth guidance from a woman who survived breast cancer. I liked the title. And the last one is the one I'm reading first. It is called "The Victoria's Secret Catalog never stops coming and Other lessons I learned about Breast Cancer" by Jennie Nash. It is Jennie's story on her journey through cancer. Just thought I would share these books in case any of you are battling cancer too. I think it helps to hear about other women's experiences as long as we remember each of us are differently made and will experience things differently. I like to hear other's ideas though to give me some hints on maybe what I can do. I am keeping a notebook on different tips for each side effect one may have during chemo so if I have problems, I can try out some of the ideas. Most are so practical and some are funny..... I have a friend today that said we need to have a 'wig' party for me. Sounds fun, doesn't it. I am planning on getting a wig or two so I can wash and fix one wig while wearing the other one. Should I try out red? One with blue streaks? lol. No, I think I will stick with blonde. Have a great day.
Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine.....
I woke up feeling better with just a tad bit of lung pain and then by mid-morning, no lung pain. Praise God!!! My incision hurts a little and every morning, my arm feels stiff so I have to do the arm exercises to limber up before I shower. I want to use my arm so I make myself wash my hair, etc. I have a tendency not to want to use that left arm. It gets better each day. I went and sold homeschool books at a used book fair which tired me out but I enjoyed getting to see so many who have been praying and following my blog--thanks to you all. It is so nice to know that people do care. We are all so busy and I know myself that I've not always been available to others or let them know I really am praying and do care too. I understand.....
I went to the library the other day and checked out 3 books on breast cancer. One is called "Fighting for our Future---How Young Women find Strength, Hope and Courage while taking Control of Breast Cancer" and is really for younger women and written by using interviews from other women on infomation on cancer. Looks like it has lots of helpful tips. Another one is called "The Feisty Woman's Breast Cancer Book" by Elaine Ratner. It is a down-to-earth guidance from a woman who survived breast cancer. I liked the title. And the last one is the one I'm reading first. It is called "The Victoria's Secret Catalog never stops coming and Other lessons I learned about Breast Cancer" by Jennie Nash. It is Jennie's story on her journey through cancer. Just thought I would share these books in case any of you are battling cancer too. I think it helps to hear about other women's experiences as long as we remember each of us are differently made and will experience things differently. I like to hear other's ideas though to give me some hints on maybe what I can do. I am keeping a notebook on different tips for each side effect one may have during chemo so if I have problems, I can try out some of the ideas. Most are so practical and some are funny..... I have a friend today that said we need to have a 'wig' party for me. Sounds fun, doesn't it. I am planning on getting a wig or two so I can wash and fix one wig while wearing the other one. Should I try out red? One with blue streaks? lol. No, I think I will stick with blonde. Have a great day.
Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine.....
Friday, April 24, 2009
Lung pain and appointment
Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.
Yesterday afternoon, I started experiencing some new pain--lower left lung area, especially when taking a deep breath. I knew that I had a slight pneumonthorax (air in lung lining) due to my surgery when getting that intramammary lymph node out which was attached to the lung lining. I wasn't too concerned at first. Also, I've been doing the arm exercises and had been out doing errands in town. During the night, I had some trouble breathing when lying flat so got up around 3 am to sit in the recliner chair to help make it more easier to breathe. Today, I noticed that I was still having some sharp pain when taking deep breaths and a little short of breath at times, so I called the doctor (talked to his nurse) . I went in after lunch to have a chest X-ray to be sure nothing was going on. The doctor called me late afternoon to say that there didn't seem to be a pneumothorax but was concerned about a pulmonary embolism (clot in your lung) but he thought that I was too active to get that plus I wasn't having any leg or calf pain. Anyway, for now, I'm just to watch it and if it gets worse over the weekend, to go to the ER. I'm actually feeling some better now--been resting quite a bit (well, some resting--lol). Maybe just exercising is causing some irritation.
When I talked to the nurse, I asked about my onocologist appointment. Turns out it is to be May 15. We both thought that was later than we wanted so she asked the doctor if he would talk to the onocologist to see if we could get my appt. earlier. Turns out that he did this afternoon. The onocologist is very swamped with new cancer patients. When you see the onocologist, he orders some tests to be done and a port-a-cath to be inserted by a surgeon before chemo so they decided that I should go ahead and get these tests done (bone scan and CT scan of abdomen & pelvis) and have the port inserted so that when I do have my appt. with onocologist, we can get started on chemo. Sounds like a plan. You may be wondering, "what is a port-a-cath". It is a device that is inserted under the skin close to your collar bone area where tubes are inserted in your big vein so that IV medications can be injected without having to use a new vein each time and worrying about chemo leaking into the skin if IV was to dislodge while chemo infusing. Also, blood can be drawn from the port too so I don't have to be stuck each time. Insertion of the port is done under anesthesia and is day surgery. So, off to surgery I go again. I used to work as a nurse and even worked with cancer patients (28 years ago) and so know what the ports are about. Today, while worrying about this lung pain, I just kept repeating scripture to myself knowing that I'm in God's hands plus I'm not going to worry about when I see the onocologist. God is in control and if I am to wait, then guess I'll just wait--there is a reason. I will know next week when all these tests and surgery is scheduled so I will just enjoy my weekend. Thanks to all for your prayers and cards and phone calls. I enjoy it all. :)
Psalm 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life.
Yesterday afternoon, I started experiencing some new pain--lower left lung area, especially when taking a deep breath. I knew that I had a slight pneumonthorax (air in lung lining) due to my surgery when getting that intramammary lymph node out which was attached to the lung lining. I wasn't too concerned at first. Also, I've been doing the arm exercises and had been out doing errands in town. During the night, I had some trouble breathing when lying flat so got up around 3 am to sit in the recliner chair to help make it more easier to breathe. Today, I noticed that I was still having some sharp pain when taking deep breaths and a little short of breath at times, so I called the doctor (talked to his nurse) . I went in after lunch to have a chest X-ray to be sure nothing was going on. The doctor called me late afternoon to say that there didn't seem to be a pneumothorax but was concerned about a pulmonary embolism (clot in your lung) but he thought that I was too active to get that plus I wasn't having any leg or calf pain. Anyway, for now, I'm just to watch it and if it gets worse over the weekend, to go to the ER. I'm actually feeling some better now--been resting quite a bit (well, some resting--lol). Maybe just exercising is causing some irritation.
When I talked to the nurse, I asked about my onocologist appointment. Turns out it is to be May 15. We both thought that was later than we wanted so she asked the doctor if he would talk to the onocologist to see if we could get my appt. earlier. Turns out that he did this afternoon. The onocologist is very swamped with new cancer patients. When you see the onocologist, he orders some tests to be done and a port-a-cath to be inserted by a surgeon before chemo so they decided that I should go ahead and get these tests done (bone scan and CT scan of abdomen & pelvis) and have the port inserted so that when I do have my appt. with onocologist, we can get started on chemo. Sounds like a plan. You may be wondering, "what is a port-a-cath". It is a device that is inserted under the skin close to your collar bone area where tubes are inserted in your big vein so that IV medications can be injected without having to use a new vein each time and worrying about chemo leaking into the skin if IV was to dislodge while chemo infusing. Also, blood can be drawn from the port too so I don't have to be stuck each time. Insertion of the port is done under anesthesia and is day surgery. So, off to surgery I go again. I used to work as a nurse and even worked with cancer patients (28 years ago) and so know what the ports are about. Today, while worrying about this lung pain, I just kept repeating scripture to myself knowing that I'm in God's hands plus I'm not going to worry about when I see the onocologist. God is in control and if I am to wait, then guess I'll just wait--there is a reason. I will know next week when all these tests and surgery is scheduled so I will just enjoy my weekend. Thanks to all for your prayers and cards and phone calls. I enjoy it all. :)
Psalm 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Doctor's post-op visit
Isaiah 12:2 Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song, He has become my salvation.
Today I went to see the surgeon for my post-op visit. He took out the staples under my arm which now feels some better for they were irritating me. He gave me some exercises to do with my left arm so that I won't lose full range of motion. I hate to stretch it much for it hurts but I must do this to help me in the long run. I have steri-strips over my chest incision and they are to stay on for another week. They are itching.... I asked about the numbness in my chest area and he said that there were probably nerves near that intramammary lymph node so probably got nicked and could be permanent. Yuck.... Also, the numbness under my arm too. I tried to shave some under my arm but couldn't get my arm high enough plus couldn't feel the razor due to the numbness....better wait a bit. lol. Need a mirror or something. lol The big news is that they received the pathology report back from Mayo clinic today. The pathologists there have decided that I do not have the rare from of breast cancer, medullary, but that I have the common form called ductal cancer. Actually I have Nottingham grade 3 infiltrating ductal carcinoma. Now, I need to do some research on that. The surgeon thinks it's a stage 3 instead of a stage 2 but will find out for sure when I see the onocologist. Speaking of the onocologist... the dr. told me after surgery that when I come to see him that his nurse will have appointments set up for me to see both onocologists (one for chemo and the other for radiation) but she didn't have that ready after all. She said she put it in the computer today and won't know anything until probably Friday. Duh, whatever happened with picking up the phone and calling for an appointment!!! That was so frustrating to me for I am wanting to know when I'm going to see these doctors so I can find out when I'm going to have this chemo, etc. I'm not being very patient at the moment for it's hard to think about summer plans, etc, when I don't know what is to happen. I have kids trying to make plans but I can't say for sure..... Oh, Lord, calm me down..... I will know soon enough in God's timing so I must wait. Don't you hate waiting? I do. :) But wait we must.....Thanks for everyone praying for me and reading my blog. Love you all.
Hebrews 12:2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...
Today I went to see the surgeon for my post-op visit. He took out the staples under my arm which now feels some better for they were irritating me. He gave me some exercises to do with my left arm so that I won't lose full range of motion. I hate to stretch it much for it hurts but I must do this to help me in the long run. I have steri-strips over my chest incision and they are to stay on for another week. They are itching.... I asked about the numbness in my chest area and he said that there were probably nerves near that intramammary lymph node so probably got nicked and could be permanent. Yuck.... Also, the numbness under my arm too. I tried to shave some under my arm but couldn't get my arm high enough plus couldn't feel the razor due to the numbness....better wait a bit. lol. Need a mirror or something. lol The big news is that they received the pathology report back from Mayo clinic today. The pathologists there have decided that I do not have the rare from of breast cancer, medullary, but that I have the common form called ductal cancer. Actually I have Nottingham grade 3 infiltrating ductal carcinoma. Now, I need to do some research on that. The surgeon thinks it's a stage 3 instead of a stage 2 but will find out for sure when I see the onocologist. Speaking of the onocologist... the dr. told me after surgery that when I come to see him that his nurse will have appointments set up for me to see both onocologists (one for chemo and the other for radiation) but she didn't have that ready after all. She said she put it in the computer today and won't know anything until probably Friday. Duh, whatever happened with picking up the phone and calling for an appointment!!! That was so frustrating to me for I am wanting to know when I'm going to see these doctors so I can find out when I'm going to have this chemo, etc. I'm not being very patient at the moment for it's hard to think about summer plans, etc, when I don't know what is to happen. I have kids trying to make plans but I can't say for sure..... Oh, Lord, calm me down..... I will know soon enough in God's timing so I must wait. Don't you hate waiting? I do. :) But wait we must.....Thanks for everyone praying for me and reading my blog. Love you all.
Hebrews 12:2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...
Monday, April 20, 2009
Do not fear......chemo
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
We all have to face unpleasant things whether it's a test, surgery, confronting someone, war, or chemo, etc. We know it needs to be done for in the long run we will benefit but it's still something unpleasant and sometimes it can be something we fear. I have been reading about chemo and the side effects and reading discussion boards where people are giving their advice on how to get through it and how they are doing. When reading, it can be almost frightening and then it becomes something I am dreading. Yesterday, I decided that I am going to quit looking at it as something to dread but something that needs to be done to be sure I can live a long time to enjoy my family and life. Yes, it may be unpleasant but hey, I've been through other unpleasant things so I can get through this too. I's only for a short time; there will be an end to it. I will look at the positive side and even humorous aspects of it too. God will be with me and will help me overcome any unpleasantness I encounter with the chemo.
Today, I am really up and about--doing laundry, cooking, watering my flower beds, etc but I'm trying to rest in between too so I don't overdo. I still have numbness in my arm and chest area. I hope the numbness in the chest area doesn't last too long--feels so weird. I've not had any pain meds today. Larry went back to work--first time since my surgery. I see the surgeon in 2 days and hopefully then I'll at least know when I'm to see the onocologist. I'm ready to get this show on the road!!!
Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.
We all have to face unpleasant things whether it's a test, surgery, confronting someone, war, or chemo, etc. We know it needs to be done for in the long run we will benefit but it's still something unpleasant and sometimes it can be something we fear. I have been reading about chemo and the side effects and reading discussion boards where people are giving their advice on how to get through it and how they are doing. When reading, it can be almost frightening and then it becomes something I am dreading. Yesterday, I decided that I am going to quit looking at it as something to dread but something that needs to be done to be sure I can live a long time to enjoy my family and life. Yes, it may be unpleasant but hey, I've been through other unpleasant things so I can get through this too. I's only for a short time; there will be an end to it. I will look at the positive side and even humorous aspects of it too. God will be with me and will help me overcome any unpleasantness I encounter with the chemo.
Today, I am really up and about--doing laundry, cooking, watering my flower beds, etc but I'm trying to rest in between too so I don't overdo. I still have numbness in my arm and chest area. I hope the numbness in the chest area doesn't last too long--feels so weird. I've not had any pain meds today. Larry went back to work--first time since my surgery. I see the surgeon in 2 days and hopefully then I'll at least know when I'm to see the onocologist. I'm ready to get this show on the road!!!
Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Count it all joy
James 1:2 Consider it pure joy,my brothers, whenever you face trials or many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perservance.
As I laid in bed this morning, I was thinking and praying. I was thinking about how since being diagnosed with breast cancer, friends from my past (here and out of town) and some family have popped back into my life to walk along beside me as I journey through cancer. Also, I've been drawing nearer to some other family members. This is one of the joys I am experiencing through this difficult time. We are to count it all joy when we go through trials and we often think, "how can we see joy when things are bad". I always knew we could find something joyful and this is what I am experiencing. I was wondering, why is it when things are going bad, that is when we tend to reach out to others to encourage and help them through--why aren't we like this all the time. I think we get busy in our daily lives,therefore relationships tend to slip through the cracks as time goes on but when someone is having a bad time; we love our friends and family and want to reach out and encourage them as they walk through these valleys in life. When life is good, then we 'think' that we are not needed so busy ourselves with other things. So, today I am being joyful and feeling blessed by my family and friends.
Having cancer has also made me come out of my comfort zone and do things I rarely do such as have a blog and then last night I went and joined a breast cancer online support group. On my blog site there is a pink ribbon and if you click on it, it takes you to a breast cancer website which is wonderful. I've been reading it and learning about chemo. Then I decided to check out the discussion boards. Wow, overwhelming at all the stuff but I found this one thing that had a long, long, long list of things to buy to have at home before starting chemo!!! It was almost overwhelming to read some of these discussions for I learned alot about what it might be like to go through chemo--no fun for sure. I even looked at sites for wigs. (um, what style shall I choose?) In my support group, there is a lady who is absolutely hilarious for she said that since she will lose her body hair, she won't have to shave, pluck eyebrows, or worry about bad hair days. What a positive thought!!!
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times.....
t
As I laid in bed this morning, I was thinking and praying. I was thinking about how since being diagnosed with breast cancer, friends from my past (here and out of town) and some family have popped back into my life to walk along beside me as I journey through cancer. Also, I've been drawing nearer to some other family members. This is one of the joys I am experiencing through this difficult time. We are to count it all joy when we go through trials and we often think, "how can we see joy when things are bad". I always knew we could find something joyful and this is what I am experiencing. I was wondering, why is it when things are going bad, that is when we tend to reach out to others to encourage and help them through--why aren't we like this all the time. I think we get busy in our daily lives,therefore relationships tend to slip through the cracks as time goes on but when someone is having a bad time; we love our friends and family and want to reach out and encourage them as they walk through these valleys in life. When life is good, then we 'think' that we are not needed so busy ourselves with other things. So, today I am being joyful and feeling blessed by my family and friends.
Having cancer has also made me come out of my comfort zone and do things I rarely do such as have a blog and then last night I went and joined a breast cancer online support group. On my blog site there is a pink ribbon and if you click on it, it takes you to a breast cancer website which is wonderful. I've been reading it and learning about chemo. Then I decided to check out the discussion boards. Wow, overwhelming at all the stuff but I found this one thing that had a long, long, long list of things to buy to have at home before starting chemo!!! It was almost overwhelming to read some of these discussions for I learned alot about what it might be like to go through chemo--no fun for sure. I even looked at sites for wigs. (um, what style shall I choose?) In my support group, there is a lady who is absolutely hilarious for she said that since she will lose her body hair, she won't have to shave, pluck eyebrows, or worry about bad hair days. What a positive thought!!!
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times.....
t
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Post op day 4
Jeremiah 31:13 I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
Some of you are wondering how I am doing. Actually, I'm doing better than I expected. I really don't have much pain but I know it's there. The numbness under my arm is still there and has spread to my chest area where my incision is located. Not sure why it has spread. You are probably wondering where is my incision. I have a 4 inch one on my left chest area in the upper breast area like where 10 o'clock would be down toward 4 o'clock. That means I couldn't wear low cut shirts but that's okay. I have a 2 inch one under my arm on the chest wall. (That might not have helped but I don't know how else to really describe to you where it's located.) I did have a bad headache yesterday but found out that Excedren would take care of it. I rarely have headaches, could have been caused by the way I was holding my head, etc. Anyway, no headaches today. I finally slept in my bed last night-have been sleeping in the recliner chair in the living room. Believe it or not, Larry took me grocery shopping yesterday. Wasn't ready to relinquish that job for I actually like to grocery shop. He pushed the basket for me and I did have him and the boys put up all the groceries for I was tired by the time we got home. Today my mom took me to Sam's to finish my shopping. I usually go to Wal-mart and Sam's on the same day but knew that was too much yesterday. The main problem I have today is not wanting to eat much and when I do, it seems to give me heartburn. No problem with that yesterday. Emotionally, I'm doing fine-just wishing I knew what kind of chemo I'm going to have. I've been reading up on chemo and the side effects and little tidbit hints on how to combat some of the problems. Been thinking about what to do if i lose my hair--it's so long.....decided that I would want a wig. I'm not a hat person and don't think I could go around bald. lol. My boys informed me that they would not shave their heads for me but that's okay--Iwould never have asked them anyway. They do like their longish hair. lol. I've been enjoying visits with friends & family in person and via phone. My husband set up skype on my computer so I can talk to anyone long distance without having to go outside (my cell phone doesn't work inside the house). He's planning on buying me a laptop computer too--so sweet. I have been reminded all day the wonderful blessings God has given me especially through my family and friends and His love!!!! My sister sent me a care package with lots of DVD's to watch and some cancer booklets--one is a devotional for cancer patients and their families. We will read it together as a family. Thanks Sis!!! My mom came yesterday and spent the night and left today. She's been wonderful!! I am blessed.
Isaiah 12:6 Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.
Some of you are wondering how I am doing. Actually, I'm doing better than I expected. I really don't have much pain but I know it's there. The numbness under my arm is still there and has spread to my chest area where my incision is located. Not sure why it has spread. You are probably wondering where is my incision. I have a 4 inch one on my left chest area in the upper breast area like where 10 o'clock would be down toward 4 o'clock. That means I couldn't wear low cut shirts but that's okay. I have a 2 inch one under my arm on the chest wall. (That might not have helped but I don't know how else to really describe to you where it's located.) I did have a bad headache yesterday but found out that Excedren would take care of it. I rarely have headaches, could have been caused by the way I was holding my head, etc. Anyway, no headaches today. I finally slept in my bed last night-have been sleeping in the recliner chair in the living room. Believe it or not, Larry took me grocery shopping yesterday. Wasn't ready to relinquish that job for I actually like to grocery shop. He pushed the basket for me and I did have him and the boys put up all the groceries for I was tired by the time we got home. Today my mom took me to Sam's to finish my shopping. I usually go to Wal-mart and Sam's on the same day but knew that was too much yesterday. The main problem I have today is not wanting to eat much and when I do, it seems to give me heartburn. No problem with that yesterday. Emotionally, I'm doing fine-just wishing I knew what kind of chemo I'm going to have. I've been reading up on chemo and the side effects and little tidbit hints on how to combat some of the problems. Been thinking about what to do if i lose my hair--it's so long.....decided that I would want a wig. I'm not a hat person and don't think I could go around bald. lol. My boys informed me that they would not shave their heads for me but that's okay--Iwould never have asked them anyway. They do like their longish hair. lol. I've been enjoying visits with friends & family in person and via phone. My husband set up skype on my computer so I can talk to anyone long distance without having to go outside (my cell phone doesn't work inside the house). He's planning on buying me a laptop computer too--so sweet. I have been reminded all day the wonderful blessings God has given me especially through my family and friends and His love!!!! My sister sent me a care package with lots of DVD's to watch and some cancer booklets--one is a devotional for cancer patients and their families. We will read it together as a family. Thanks Sis!!! My mom came yesterday and spent the night and left today. She's been wonderful!! I am blessed.
Isaiah 12:6 Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Why Me
Psalm 145:3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise, His greatness no one can fathom.
When we go through trials, we often wonder 'why me'? After I was daignosed with cancer, that thought did enter my mind--"why me, Lord, and why now?" Then I remembered a man preaching once and telling us that during a hard time in his life, he questioned God then God said "Why not you?" Wow---that is powerful.
God never promised us a life full of only good times here on earth (in heaven-yes). We will go through difficult times and he knows exactly what we can bear. I don't know God's reasonings for allowing me to have cancer for He tells us in Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways..as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. " I do know that I can stand firm in my faith, trusting God to carry me through this battle of cancer. In John 9, a man was blind and Jesus said that his blindness was not caused by sin but "that it happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life". Maybe God will use this cancer in a way that is glorifying to Him--a ministry where I can reach others to stand strong in God during rough times. This definitely has drawn me closer to Him. Whatever it is, God has a plan & I am to be willing to be used by Him. I'm not pleased that I have cancer but I can be joyful and still feel blessed for what God is doing in my life. I know He loves me more than I can ever comprehend.
Isaish 12:5 Sing to the Lord for He has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world.
When we go through trials, we often wonder 'why me'? After I was daignosed with cancer, that thought did enter my mind--"why me, Lord, and why now?" Then I remembered a man preaching once and telling us that during a hard time in his life, he questioned God then God said "Why not you?" Wow---that is powerful.
God never promised us a life full of only good times here on earth (in heaven-yes). We will go through difficult times and he knows exactly what we can bear. I don't know God's reasonings for allowing me to have cancer for He tells us in Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways..as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. " I do know that I can stand firm in my faith, trusting God to carry me through this battle of cancer. In John 9, a man was blind and Jesus said that his blindness was not caused by sin but "that it happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life". Maybe God will use this cancer in a way that is glorifying to Him--a ministry where I can reach others to stand strong in God during rough times. This definitely has drawn me closer to Him. Whatever it is, God has a plan & I am to be willing to be used by Him. I'm not pleased that I have cancer but I can be joyful and still feel blessed for what God is doing in my life. I know He loves me more than I can ever comprehend.
Isaish 12:5 Sing to the Lord for He has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Post op day 2
I Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
I am feeling better today. The pain isn't really that bad so I'm just taking Ibuprofen for the pain meds made me so sleepy and my mouth so dry. I hate being druggy feeling. Under my left arm where they axillary nodes were taken out is numb so not really feeling any pain there. It is common to have numbness there due to the nerves in that area. I am hoping it won't be permanent numbness. For some reason I was having some numbness in my right pinkie and ring finger-I have no reason why that would occur. My stomach isn't feeling well though. I really don't have a appetite and when I do eat, it feels like indigestion. I took some Peptol Bismol which helped some. It's hard to describe but I'm just not 'me'. I like to eat....lol. Oh, well...maybe I'll lose some weight. I am tired of sitting around so I took a little stroll in my yard to look at the flowers growing. My mom cut several purple irisis for me the other day so I am enjoying looking at them since she put them on the coffee table in front of the chair that I'm 'living' in. Flowers comfort me. I'm bored too...I'm not one just to sit around. I did have a wonderful quiet time with the Lord and am reading some books. I helped do some schooling today--my boys are teens and do most of their work on their own which is nice. My husband has taken over the math completely which is wonderful. Maybe he'll continue it....:) Today I am to have my dressing removed and get a shower--that will feel great. My boys are going into town for a few hours so it will be quiet. Am hoping for a visit from a friend so that will cheer me up too. Thanks to all who are concerned about me and praying for me. It means a lot to me. This is so new to me that it can be overwhelming at times but I just take a little bit in as I am ready. I tried to read up on chemotherapy today but my book was mainly 'medical' and not pratical tips on how to get through chemo. If you know of any...let me know. My spirit is great for I know that with God, we will win this battle and He'll be with me every step of the way.
Isaiah 58:11 The Lord will guide you always, He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.
I am feeling better today. The pain isn't really that bad so I'm just taking Ibuprofen for the pain meds made me so sleepy and my mouth so dry. I hate being druggy feeling. Under my left arm where they axillary nodes were taken out is numb so not really feeling any pain there. It is common to have numbness there due to the nerves in that area. I am hoping it won't be permanent numbness. For some reason I was having some numbness in my right pinkie and ring finger-I have no reason why that would occur. My stomach isn't feeling well though. I really don't have a appetite and when I do eat, it feels like indigestion. I took some Peptol Bismol which helped some. It's hard to describe but I'm just not 'me'. I like to eat....lol. Oh, well...maybe I'll lose some weight. I am tired of sitting around so I took a little stroll in my yard to look at the flowers growing. My mom cut several purple irisis for me the other day so I am enjoying looking at them since she put them on the coffee table in front of the chair that I'm 'living' in. Flowers comfort me. I'm bored too...I'm not one just to sit around. I did have a wonderful quiet time with the Lord and am reading some books. I helped do some schooling today--my boys are teens and do most of their work on their own which is nice. My husband has taken over the math completely which is wonderful. Maybe he'll continue it....:) Today I am to have my dressing removed and get a shower--that will feel great. My boys are going into town for a few hours so it will be quiet. Am hoping for a visit from a friend so that will cheer me up too. Thanks to all who are concerned about me and praying for me. It means a lot to me. This is so new to me that it can be overwhelming at times but I just take a little bit in as I am ready. I tried to read up on chemotherapy today but my book was mainly 'medical' and not pratical tips on how to get through chemo. If you know of any...let me know. My spirit is great for I know that with God, we will win this battle and He'll be with me every step of the way.
Isaiah 58:11 The Lord will guide you always, He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Pathology report
Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strenght.
The doctor called tonight with the pathology report. He didn't want to wait until tomorrow for he knew he would be quite busy. The report wasn't the greatest but wasn't a surprise either. The internal mammary lymph node is positive for cancer. The axillary lymph nodes are negative which is good. I will be having chemotherapy but I don't know what kind yet. The cancer is at a stage 2. The tumor showed a mixed of atypical medullary(rare) and a ductal type (the common kind). They are sending the speciman to Mayo clinic for a 2nd opinion so they will know for sure how to treat this cancer. He said it is treatable which is wonderful to hear. I will fight this and I know that God will be there right with me. He has a plan for my life and I will stick with Him on this plan. I will admit that today I had a down time--lasted a few moments. Everyone was gone except one son who was in the back room so it was quiet in the house and I was resting. My mind started wandering and the thoughts of 'what if I die soon' came to mind. My kids are still at home and I want to see them grow up, etc. It made me quite sad and teary eyed then I started to think of scriptures to get those kind of thoughts out of my mind. I am doing okay now and know that I will live for a long, long time. God will heal me!!! I believe it!!! It won't be fun to go through the chemo but I can make it through with God beside me. He will give me the strength I will need to endure these coming up days. Keep praying for me.
Philippians 4:8 Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
The doctor called tonight with the pathology report. He didn't want to wait until tomorrow for he knew he would be quite busy. The report wasn't the greatest but wasn't a surprise either. The internal mammary lymph node is positive for cancer. The axillary lymph nodes are negative which is good. I will be having chemotherapy but I don't know what kind yet. The cancer is at a stage 2. The tumor showed a mixed of atypical medullary(rare) and a ductal type (the common kind). They are sending the speciman to Mayo clinic for a 2nd opinion so they will know for sure how to treat this cancer. He said it is treatable which is wonderful to hear. I will fight this and I know that God will be there right with me. He has a plan for my life and I will stick with Him on this plan. I will admit that today I had a down time--lasted a few moments. Everyone was gone except one son who was in the back room so it was quiet in the house and I was resting. My mind started wandering and the thoughts of 'what if I die soon' came to mind. My kids are still at home and I want to see them grow up, etc. It made me quite sad and teary eyed then I started to think of scriptures to get those kind of thoughts out of my mind. I am doing okay now and know that I will live for a long, long time. God will heal me!!! I believe it!!! It won't be fun to go through the chemo but I can make it through with God beside me. He will give me the strength I will need to endure these coming up days. Keep praying for me.
Philippians 4:8 Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
Surgery
Psalm 88:9 I call to you, O Lord, every day; I spread out my hands to you.
Surgery was yesterday and it was a long day. I had be there at 5:30 am. I slept pretty well but got up at 4:15-couldn't sleep anymore. After we checked in the hospital at 5:30, no one came in until 6:40 am. Wonder why we came in so early.... finally a nurse came and took vital signs, started my IV and asked tons of questions. Then I went down to nuclear medicine for the doctor injected some dye so he can find which lymph nodes to take out. Then the radiologist that did my biopsy came and she inserted a wire into the internal mammary node by using the sonogram. It hurt just a little. I talked to the radiologist about the node for she trained in a hospital where they took out these nodes. By the way, I'm the first patient here to have this node taken out in this hospital. My doctor has seen these nodes when working around the lungs but never had taken one out. He felt confident to do it. Otherwise, the radiologist was going to suggest that I went to another town. I'm glad he decided to do it for I am glad to be in my own town. I asked her if she had ever seen these enlarged nodes be something besides cancerous and she said that usually they were cancerous. My heart sank and was sad but i knew this could happen..... but we won't know for sure until the pathologist tests it. I will find out the results on Thursday afternoon. Anyway, i went back to the hospital room around 9 am and then didn't go to surgery until noon. The doctor had problems with his first patient so that is why we had to wait so long. I was so tired since i didn't get much sleep the night before. My mom, my husband, and his mom were there with me. My dad was around but my stepmom was having surgery too and was on the same floor (strange that we were both scheduled the exact day). During surgery, the doctor had some trouble getting the node out for it was attached to the lung lining and to the mammary artery. He had to tie off the mammary artery which means that later in life, if I was to need heart bypass surgery, they couldn't use that artery but there are others to use. Because the node was attached to the lung lining, some air got into the lung lining which means I have a samll pneumothorax but it will be absorbed so no problem. He didn't think he got all the tumor at first so went back in and got more. He feels he got it all now. Plus he took 3 lymph nodes under my arm. I have 2 incisions. I am not in too much pain--one pain pill works. After surgery, I was in pain and nauseous. I did not want to get dressed to go home but my husband kept pushing me to get dressed--I was getting frustrated --lol--but I did need to get dressed. We fianlly got home around 6:30. I couldn't lie down on my bed so decided to sleep in the recliner chair in the living room. I slept there all night--it worked. I will try tonight to sleep in bed. Everytime I got up to go to the bathroom, I threw up ---not fun trying to urinate and throw up at the same time. lol. I feel better today. Well, this is so long....but I know that God was with me the whole time and I kept praying and recalling scripture all day. God is good and things could have been worse but I know that everyone who prayed helped me through this day. Thanks. I feel so blessed with friends and family who love me and have encouraged me.
Psalm 145 The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.
Surgery was yesterday and it was a long day. I had be there at 5:30 am. I slept pretty well but got up at 4:15-couldn't sleep anymore. After we checked in the hospital at 5:30, no one came in until 6:40 am. Wonder why we came in so early.... finally a nurse came and took vital signs, started my IV and asked tons of questions. Then I went down to nuclear medicine for the doctor injected some dye so he can find which lymph nodes to take out. Then the radiologist that did my biopsy came and she inserted a wire into the internal mammary node by using the sonogram. It hurt just a little. I talked to the radiologist about the node for she trained in a hospital where they took out these nodes. By the way, I'm the first patient here to have this node taken out in this hospital. My doctor has seen these nodes when working around the lungs but never had taken one out. He felt confident to do it. Otherwise, the radiologist was going to suggest that I went to another town. I'm glad he decided to do it for I am glad to be in my own town. I asked her if she had ever seen these enlarged nodes be something besides cancerous and she said that usually they were cancerous. My heart sank and was sad but i knew this could happen..... but we won't know for sure until the pathologist tests it. I will find out the results on Thursday afternoon. Anyway, i went back to the hospital room around 9 am and then didn't go to surgery until noon. The doctor had problems with his first patient so that is why we had to wait so long. I was so tired since i didn't get much sleep the night before. My mom, my husband, and his mom were there with me. My dad was around but my stepmom was having surgery too and was on the same floor (strange that we were both scheduled the exact day). During surgery, the doctor had some trouble getting the node out for it was attached to the lung lining and to the mammary artery. He had to tie off the mammary artery which means that later in life, if I was to need heart bypass surgery, they couldn't use that artery but there are others to use. Because the node was attached to the lung lining, some air got into the lung lining which means I have a samll pneumothorax but it will be absorbed so no problem. He didn't think he got all the tumor at first so went back in and got more. He feels he got it all now. Plus he took 3 lymph nodes under my arm. I have 2 incisions. I am not in too much pain--one pain pill works. After surgery, I was in pain and nauseous. I did not want to get dressed to go home but my husband kept pushing me to get dressed--I was getting frustrated --lol--but I did need to get dressed. We fianlly got home around 6:30. I couldn't lie down on my bed so decided to sleep in the recliner chair in the living room. I slept there all night--it worked. I will try tonight to sleep in bed. Everytime I got up to go to the bathroom, I threw up ---not fun trying to urinate and throw up at the same time. lol. I feel better today. Well, this is so long....but I know that God was with me the whole time and I kept praying and recalling scripture all day. God is good and things could have been worse but I know that everyone who prayed helped me through this day. Thanks. I feel so blessed with friends and family who love me and have encouraged me.
Psalm 145 The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Surgery day
Exodus 23:25 And ye shall serve the Lord your God, and he shall bless they bread, adn they water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee.
Well, today is the day!!! It is early, 4:40 am but I am ready to go but the others aren't ready. I'm a tad bit nervous but I know that all is going to be well. I dread the painful part of recovering and not feeling well but since it has to be.....then let it hurry up. I had hoped to sleep in a bit longer but once I heard my mom moving about...I was wide awake and thought, I could get on the computer. lol. I'll be able to sleep the rest of the day. lol. Thanks everyone for praying.
Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. James 5:16
Well, today is the day!!! It is early, 4:40 am but I am ready to go but the others aren't ready. I'm a tad bit nervous but I know that all is going to be well. I dread the painful part of recovering and not feeling well but since it has to be.....then let it hurry up. I had hoped to sleep in a bit longer but once I heard my mom moving about...I was wide awake and thought, I could get on the computer. lol. I'll be able to sleep the rest of the day. lol. Thanks everyone for praying.
Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. James 5:16
Monday, April 13, 2009
Surgery is nearly here
Psalm 103:1-5 Praise the Lord, O my soul, all my inmost being, praise His Holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
Tomorrow I have surgery--will be a lumpectomy so hopefully it will just be day surgery. I am to be at the hospital at 5:30 am!!! I agree, that is early. We live out in the country so it takes 30 minutes to get to the hospital. Guess I will shower tonight even though I prefer mornings. I have been working so hard cleaning house, doing laundry, watering plants, etc for I know that I won't be able to do these things for a week or so. I am so exhausted at this moment--maybe it will help me sleep well tonight!!! I am not worried about surgery and not really feeling anxious. I am not looking forward to the pain and recovering from surgery but....what can I say. I've had several people call today telling me that they are praying and thinking about me plus encouraging notes so that is neat to know that I am covered in prayer!!! I made several verse cards and I put them all around the house so I've been mediatating on these verses all day. I know that God is with me and I am just trusting Him to get me through all of this. Thanks to all of you who are praying. I treasure those prayers!!!
Isaish 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever for the Lord, the Lord is my Rock eternal.
Tomorrow I have surgery--will be a lumpectomy so hopefully it will just be day surgery. I am to be at the hospital at 5:30 am!!! I agree, that is early. We live out in the country so it takes 30 minutes to get to the hospital. Guess I will shower tonight even though I prefer mornings. I have been working so hard cleaning house, doing laundry, watering plants, etc for I know that I won't be able to do these things for a week or so. I am so exhausted at this moment--maybe it will help me sleep well tonight!!! I am not worried about surgery and not really feeling anxious. I am not looking forward to the pain and recovering from surgery but....what can I say. I've had several people call today telling me that they are praying and thinking about me plus encouraging notes so that is neat to know that I am covered in prayer!!! I made several verse cards and I put them all around the house so I've been mediatating on these verses all day. I know that God is with me and I am just trusting Him to get me through all of this. Thanks to all of you who are praying. I treasure those prayers!!!
Isaish 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever for the Lord, the Lord is my Rock eternal.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Hot Flashes
James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perservance.
My, oh, my, is it hot these days!!!! Last summer I had a hysterectomy and was put on hormone replacement therapy by using a patch twice weekly. I really believe it is a good thing. But since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my doctor took me off (however, I took myself off when I had the biopsy just in case). I started taking Estroblend which is a herbal mixtrue to helpe relieve hot flashes. But it takes 3-4 weeks to take effect. I was having hot flashes over a year ago prior to my hysterectomy so took Estroblend then and it worked well. So, I'm hoping it works again but in the meantime......I'm experiencing some hot flashes--not too bad though.
Psalm 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusts in Him and I am helped.
My, oh, my, is it hot these days!!!! Last summer I had a hysterectomy and was put on hormone replacement therapy by using a patch twice weekly. I really believe it is a good thing. But since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my doctor took me off (however, I took myself off when I had the biopsy just in case). I started taking Estroblend which is a herbal mixtrue to helpe relieve hot flashes. But it takes 3-4 weeks to take effect. I was having hot flashes over a year ago prior to my hysterectomy so took Estroblend then and it worked well. So, I'm hoping it works again but in the meantime......I'm experiencing some hot flashes--not too bad though.
Psalm 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusts in Him and I am helped.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Cancer like an Earthquake
Psalm 62:2 He alone is my Rock, and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
A friend (one of my college roomates), Jackie, shared with me a neat illustration to encourage me during this battle fighting cancer. With her permission, I am going to share it with you. You can apply this to any hard time in your life.
"This may be one of the Isaiah 54:10 events. I call them life earthquakes.They are seldom fun, but they mark us. The verse says '"though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace removed," says the LORD who has compassion on you.' There are just some events that become markers in life. You mark time based on before "X" happened and after "X"happened. When a life earthquake occurs--after the quaking stops--we look around and find that life looks so different. Some of the things that we assumed would be the same forever are just not the same. The mountain we saw outside the window of our world is no longer there. Life looks different. LIfe IS different. But the most wonderful, encouraging part is that no matter what changes in our lives, the one constant that we can count on eternally is God and His unfailing love for us. He is a covenant God. He keeps His promises. He has compassion on you. He will give you the peace you need to weather this earthquake.."
Proverbs 14:30 A heart at peace gives life to the body....
A friend (one of my college roomates), Jackie, shared with me a neat illustration to encourage me during this battle fighting cancer. With her permission, I am going to share it with you. You can apply this to any hard time in your life.
"This may be one of the Isaiah 54:10 events. I call them life earthquakes.They are seldom fun, but they mark us. The verse says '"though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace removed," says the LORD who has compassion on you.' There are just some events that become markers in life. You mark time based on before "X" happened and after "X"happened. When a life earthquake occurs--after the quaking stops--we look around and find that life looks so different. Some of the things that we assumed would be the same forever are just not the same. The mountain we saw outside the window of our world is no longer there. Life looks different. LIfe IS different. But the most wonderful, encouraging part is that no matter what changes in our lives, the one constant that we can count on eternally is God and His unfailing love for us. He is a covenant God. He keeps His promises. He has compassion on you. He will give you the peace you need to weather this earthquake.."
Proverbs 14:30 A heart at peace gives life to the body....
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Waiting Period.......
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14
I hate waiting...don't you? But in life, there are times when we have to wait and waiting can be a good thing. As I wait for surgery, I am preparing myself physically, mentally, and spiritually. I have been keeping busy getting things ready such as gardening, making meals & freezing some for my family to cook after I have surgery, grading and filing school papers, making lesson plans, and cleaning house. I've done some shopping to buy comfortable clothes to wear after surgery. The book I'm reading on breast cancer suggests to wear shirts (or PJ's) that button in front. I don't really like wearing clothes like that nor did I have any PJ's that button in front (except one heavy kind for cold winter weather) so off to the stores I went. I still would like find a shirt (did find PJ's) so I plan to shop this evening. I've been reading the Bible quite a bit and looking for verses to help me out during this time. And just spending time with my family to let them know that I love them. I really feel pretty good most of the time, so it's hard to really believe I have cancer. Sometimes I have some pain (like a burning sensation) where the tumor is and that reminds me that yes, I do have cancer. But I know that God is with me and will heal me!!! So, in the meantime, I just wait on Him!!! I sing praise songs, pray, and just talk to Him all day long!!! When doubts and worrisome thoughts creep into my mind, I immediately get rid of them and God is right there to blot it out!!! Praise God for His loving kindness. I know that all of your prayers are uplifting me and carrying me through. Thanks to all!!!!
Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering. Mark 5:34
I hate waiting...don't you? But in life, there are times when we have to wait and waiting can be a good thing. As I wait for surgery, I am preparing myself physically, mentally, and spiritually. I have been keeping busy getting things ready such as gardening, making meals & freezing some for my family to cook after I have surgery, grading and filing school papers, making lesson plans, and cleaning house. I've done some shopping to buy comfortable clothes to wear after surgery. The book I'm reading on breast cancer suggests to wear shirts (or PJ's) that button in front. I don't really like wearing clothes like that nor did I have any PJ's that button in front (except one heavy kind for cold winter weather) so off to the stores I went. I still would like find a shirt (did find PJ's) so I plan to shop this evening. I've been reading the Bible quite a bit and looking for verses to help me out during this time. And just spending time with my family to let them know that I love them. I really feel pretty good most of the time, so it's hard to really believe I have cancer. Sometimes I have some pain (like a burning sensation) where the tumor is and that reminds me that yes, I do have cancer. But I know that God is with me and will heal me!!! So, in the meantime, I just wait on Him!!! I sing praise songs, pray, and just talk to Him all day long!!! When doubts and worrisome thoughts creep into my mind, I immediately get rid of them and God is right there to blot it out!!! Praise God for His loving kindness. I know that all of your prayers are uplifting me and carrying me through. Thanks to all!!!!
Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering. Mark 5:34
Saturday, April 4, 2009
The Following days after diagnosis
Isaiah 46:4 I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. (rescue me from cancer)
I feel so blessed by my family and friends who have been so encouraging by praying and sharing scripture with me. My wonderful sister and her son have sent me verse cards through the mail. Sure enjoyed those cards--really brightened my day. I am displaying throughout my house so that I am constantly reminde that God is right here with me. I am still feeling so much at peace. It's a peace that is hard to describe but I know that it's only from God. I used to be a worrier but I've not worried about this for I know I will be healed!!! Thanks everyone who has been praying for me. God hears---the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much--James 5:16
After my diagnosis, I had a MRI to see if there were any other cancer present in my breasts or lymph nodes. There is a suspicious enlargement of an internal mammary lymph node. This is a place where lymph nodes are not usually taken out but I will have it taken out when the tumor is taken out. The radiologist did a sonogram to be sure she could find that lymph node for when I got to surgery, she will with the aid of the sonogram, slip a wire into the lymph node and tumor so that it will guide the surgeon to it. I saw the surgeon on April 1. I am so thankful that I only have to have a lumpectomy (surgery on April 14) with biopsies of lymph nodes under my arm (that means 2 incisions). If the internal mammary lymph node is cancerous, then I will likely have to have chemotherapy but if not, then only radiation. No matter what, I will have radiation therapy which is standard after a lumpectomy but it won't happen until the incision is pretty much healed. I am not looking forward to either one of those treatments, especially the cheomotherpay. I've a couple of people ask if I wanted to try a different route but I decided no for I am young enough, healthy enough to withstand the chemo plus I don't want to risk my life for I want to see the kids grow up as I expressed in my last blog entry. I have started on multivitamins to give me a boost. I eat pretty healthy already--lots of fruits and vegetables. However, on April 2, I went to my first breast cancer support group (Sisters Survival) . The topic was on diet and I learned that there are some things I should cut down like beef and sugar. I love my sweets. Today I was eating some candy when I realized that this sugar is going straight to my tumor since tumors like sugar. Maybe if I keep thinking that way, I'll cut down on sugar. I don't want to feed the tumor.
Your light shall break forth like the morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you: the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
Isaiah 58:8
I feel so blessed by my family and friends who have been so encouraging by praying and sharing scripture with me. My wonderful sister and her son have sent me verse cards through the mail. Sure enjoyed those cards--really brightened my day. I am displaying throughout my house so that I am constantly reminde that God is right here with me. I am still feeling so much at peace. It's a peace that is hard to describe but I know that it's only from God. I used to be a worrier but I've not worried about this for I know I will be healed!!! Thanks everyone who has been praying for me. God hears---the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much--James 5:16
After my diagnosis, I had a MRI to see if there were any other cancer present in my breasts or lymph nodes. There is a suspicious enlargement of an internal mammary lymph node. This is a place where lymph nodes are not usually taken out but I will have it taken out when the tumor is taken out. The radiologist did a sonogram to be sure she could find that lymph node for when I got to surgery, she will with the aid of the sonogram, slip a wire into the lymph node and tumor so that it will guide the surgeon to it. I saw the surgeon on April 1. I am so thankful that I only have to have a lumpectomy (surgery on April 14) with biopsies of lymph nodes under my arm (that means 2 incisions). If the internal mammary lymph node is cancerous, then I will likely have to have chemotherapy but if not, then only radiation. No matter what, I will have radiation therapy which is standard after a lumpectomy but it won't happen until the incision is pretty much healed. I am not looking forward to either one of those treatments, especially the cheomotherpay. I've a couple of people ask if I wanted to try a different route but I decided no for I am young enough, healthy enough to withstand the chemo plus I don't want to risk my life for I want to see the kids grow up as I expressed in my last blog entry. I have started on multivitamins to give me a boost. I eat pretty healthy already--lots of fruits and vegetables. However, on April 2, I went to my first breast cancer support group (Sisters Survival) . The topic was on diet and I learned that there are some things I should cut down like beef and sugar. I love my sweets. Today I was eating some candy when I realized that this sugar is going straight to my tumor since tumors like sugar. Maybe if I keep thinking that way, I'll cut down on sugar. I don't want to feed the tumor.
Your light shall break forth like the morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you: the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
Isaiah 58:8
Diagnosed with Breast Cancer
Early March, I accidentally discovered a lump in my breast in the upper area. I knew I was late in getting a mammogram so I called that very day to schedule a mammogram & sonogram which was done on March 16. The radiologist told me that it was not a cyst--something I frequently have had in the past--so I needed to have a needle biopsy which was scheduled for March 24. A couple of days later, March 26, I was called to come in to hear my results of the biopsy. Since two radiologists had made comments that it looked glandular and thought it looked like it was caused by some kind of trauma, I figured that it was nothing to worry about. So I went alone. I was so surprised to find out it was cancer. I was a little teary-eyed but wanted to really listen to what the radiologist was telling me so tried my hardest to pay attention. The pathology report said that it looked like a medullary type of breast cancer which is rare but has a good prognosis. They gave me a good size book to read about breast cancer. (which I read in a few days) I asked God immediately to help me through this and to give me peace for I know He will walk with me no matter what. He won't give me anything I can't handle; for with Him we can handle anything. (Phil. 4:13) I couldn't get in touch with my husband for 2 1/2 hours since he was working where there were no phones allowed. I called my mom, my sister, and then my daughter. I cried some when I said the word "cancer". But then, I got in control and really tried to smile, laugh, and have a positive attitude. I know that I must have this kind of attitude to get me through the tough days ahead. I'm sure my husband was quite shocked but he handled it okay too. He was a little worried of course, so his boss let him have off all this past week which has been wonderful. He's been so good to me. I think my calmness has helped him. My daughter took it hard at first for I think I scared her when I cried but then I was able to laugh and hopefully, she's okay. The boys took it okay when I told them that I'm not going to die --can't get rid of me that fast!!! lol. I love my family and I do want to stick around for many years to see them grow up, get married and have kids.
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