Day before chemo (and note to Lisa)

I Chronicles 16:11 Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.

Today I went to have blood drawn to be sure my blood levels are okay to receive chemo tomorrow. When I was leaving the building, another lady was leaving at the same time and she was following behind me as we walked to our cars. Then she started talking to me and saying "You have such pretty hair." I just wanted to laugh and tell her it was a wig but I didn't, just said "thank you". It's nice to have a stranger say something nice about your wig. You never really know if your friends are just being nice or they really think the wig is nice. It made me feel good.

Tomorrow I have chemo --my 6th treatment. Larry is going to leave me there but my stepmom is coming to bring me lunch and then a friend is coming in the afternoon to visit while I have the chemo. Should be a long day.....I always hate that. The staff at the dr's office and chemo clinic are getting to know me now. They always call me by name whenever I first walk in the office or if I see them in the lobby, etc. That tells me that I am there way too much. lol. Oh, well, that is part of having cancer treatments. I need to get them to call me by my first name instead of by the last name. Makes me feel so old. lol. Pray that the chemo treatment goes well and that I'm not too sick. I did well last time and I'm hoping it will be the same this time espeically since I have a busy schedule this week. Love and hugs to you all.

Note to Lisa--my chemo angel---I received your funny card with the bald men riding the roller coaster. I had to laugh for it reminded me of the time I went to Sea World and was worried that my wig might fly off when riding the roller coaster. I would have ended up looking like those men. hahaha. Thanks for the card.

Nehemiah 8:10b Do not grieve for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Friday

Proverbs 3;5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

Things are going well at this time. I've been staying busy and not even tired. I've been walking every morning with my neighbor which I think helps me stay strong and healthy. I will be having chemo again next week. This will be the first time that Larry is just going to drop me off so he can go to work. However, my stepmom is going to bring me lunch and then my new friend that had cancer is coming to visit me in the afternoon. Chemo will last a long time for Taxol alone will take 3 hours to be infused and I have other medications to be given too. My new friend, Erica, and I talked a long time today about our cancer, etc. It is so good to have someone to actually talk to and ask questions. It is interesting that each person reacts differently to the same chemo drug. Erica and I had the same chemo but we reacted differently in some ways. The Taxol made her really tired wheras it hasn't made me tired at all. We both have the bone pain but hers was worse. Of course, I've only had one treatment of Taxol so far so we'll see what happens to me this time. I hope it is similar to the last treatment for it wasn't too bad. I have a very busy week next week with kid activities so I am hoping that I can handle it all.

Someone that I love dearly has just been diagnosed with cancer and I am hoping that I can be an encouragement to them since I can remember those first few days of recieving the news of having "cancer". I want God to use me to encourage others. I dont' know why I was chosen to go through this but I want something good to come out of it. One way is to help others. Continue to pray as I continue through this journey and pray for the person and family members that just received the news of their cancer. Love you all.....

Proverbs 14:30 A heart at peace gives life to the body.

A new friend

I Chronicles 16:8-9 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.

Last night I went to a homeschool mom's meeting. It went pretty well--good to see many people that I've not seen in a while and several follow my blog so nice to see them too!!!! Thanks for caring, my friends. Anway, right before I left, a lady approached me to ask about golf lessons since my youngest son takes lessons. We discussed it and I mentioned about him doing golf tournaments but couldn't do many due to me taking chemo. It turns out that she had breast cancer too 3 years ago and our treatments are the same, etc. It was so wonderful to meet someone who knows what I'm going through and to see how wonderful she looks. The first thing I noticed was her shoulder length hair. I guess that is what I miss the most--my hair. She was so encouraging and I know we'll be seeing more of each other for our sons are going to take golf lessons together for I called Brandon's instructor and he was happy to teach them both. Hopefully this boy and brandon will get along great too. The mom and I hit it off right away. This is an answer to a prayer of mine. I'm so excited!!! God is so good!!!

I went to the chemo clinic today to take Herceptin. My husband let me go by myself so this was the first time alone there. I know all the nurses now and it almost seems like you are visiting family. lol. I took my cross-stitch project to keep my busy. Luckily, it didnt' take long so I was there only for 1 hour 15 minutes. I take chemo next Tuesday and my nurse said that the Taxol alone will probably take about 3 hours!!!! I guess it will be a long day.......Oh, well......that is a part of my life now but it won't be long and chemo will be over!!!! I finally got an appt. with a new dr. for me. My onocologist wants me to have a primary care dr. and I met this lady dr. back in May and she doesn't take new patients but said she would take me. I have procrastinated in making an appt. but finally I did and they weren't sure she would take me but they called today to tell me she would see me!!! yea. Thank you Lord!!!! I need to be picky for I wanted to be sure I would find a dr. that will be really interested in my breast health and this lady does care about that area!!! My appt won't be until late next month but that is fine with me. I'm in no hurry....lol. Well, have a great day and thanks for all of your prayers. It is so good to be covered in prayer.

Proverbs 17:22a A cheerful heart is good medicine.....

Monday

I Chronicles 16:10-11 Glory to His Holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.

I am feeling great these days. It's hard at times to remember that I have cancer but the reality does creep back up. I am thankful to God that I am feeling so well. Yesterday I went shopping for some clothes for myself. I haven't tried on clothes since I started wearing a wig and was a little worried that it might come off as I tried on shirts. lol. Luckily it didn't come off but sure got messed up. Wig hair is synthetic so doesn't lay back down like regular hair when messed up. You really have to comb it of fix it with your hands.

My biggest problem is still the hot flashes. The top of my bald head really gets all sweaty and boy do I want to take off whatever it is I am wearing when the flashes come. If I'm alone, the hat is ripped off so I can get some cool air to it. lol. It's just something I have to endure. Everything that can help has some kind of hormone substance in it and I am not allowed any hormone substances. My cancer likes hormones!!!!

Tonight I am going to a homeschool mom's meeting. I haven't seen most of these people since diagnosed with cancer. I hope it goes well......Today during my quiet time with God, I really reflected on the wonderful ways how He has provided and blessed me during this time. He doesn't promise us that life will always be an easy path but He does promise to walk with us. And wherever we are on our path of life, we can find some kind of blessing. Even if it is just the blessing of having God right with us. God loves us and cares for us at all times. Have a great day.

"He leadeth me beside the still waters." Praying you'll be refreshed today by God's Spirit--the source and supply of every blessing.

Sat

Isaiah 12:2 Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord , the Lord, is my strength and my song, he has become my salvation.

I am doing pretty well today. I went grocery shopping alone yesterday and did okay. Didn't get so exhausted as I did before so I was happy about that. Funny how the little things these days bring me joy. lol. I had blood work done on Thursday to check my coumadin level and it was really low but I had forgotten to take my dose on Tuesday so probably all is okay. I had a little nosebleed today but not bad. That was the first time to have a nosebleed while on Coumadin. Coumadin is a blood thinner. I am so happy that my boys can do most of their school work on their own since I am gone alot to either have blood work, chemo, medications, or etc. We got Sarah settled in her apt. plus tuition, etc. taken care of. One of her scholarships hadn't sent their stuff in yet so had to get that taken care of too. All is well....God has been so great to provide for her college tuition and for my cancer treatments, etc. Now, if only we can get our car situation taken care of...Sarah's jeep isn't working well and we are hopingto find another car to replace it. The jeep has been inthe shop too many times so we are tired of paying on it. God will provide in his timing. I will trust in Him for all things. Thanks everyone for your prayers. God has been good in providing people who care ......love you all.

I Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, because he cares for you.

Thursday

Isaiah 26:3-4 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.

Yesterday, Aug. 19, was our 3oth wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe we've been married that long but we have. We had wanted to go to Switzerland for our anniversary but with the cancer, we decided not to do it at this time. Larry had asked to take off this week way back in Jan. not knowing that I would have cancer. I just pray that I will be around long enough to celebrate many more wedding anniversaries. Only God knows our future so I am to live one day at a time, trusting Him with my life.

I've had no side effects that I can tell with the herceptin which I'm so thankful for since I will be taking it for a year. I met a woman at the chemo clinic that has been taking it for 2 years and she thinks she might have to have it for the rest of her life. She doesn't look that old and I don't know the prognosis of her cancer but she was diagnosed 2 years ago. Today I go get my blood check for the coumadin level. Hope it's not bad for I forgot to take it on Tuesday...shame on me. When I feel good, I forget about medications.....I still do not have all the energy I would like but it's not bad. I got short of breath yesterday after we ate dinner (for our anniversary we went to Red Lobster) then went walking around the mall. I've not gotten short of breath before---hopefully it was due to a very full tummy. lol. Thanks for your prayers. I know that is what keeps me going. God does hear prayers. Love you all.....

Isaiah 25:1 O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.

weekend trip

Isaiah 43:2-3 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, you God, the Holy one of Israel, your Savior.

This past weekend, we went to my sister's and to Sea World. On Sat., my nephew had his Eagle scout ceremony and right afterwards, my legs started to hurt like I had been hiking for a long time. I don't know if chemo did that or what. Chemo can cause muscle and bone pain so maybe it was the cause--guess I'll know if it happens again after my next chemo. Anyway, I had to deal with leg pain all weekend. We went to Sea World on Sunday. I had a funny incident happen at Sea World.....I was in line for a roller coaster ride and the kids told me that they couldn't believe I was actually going to ride a roller coaster. I love roller coasters and couldn't understand why they thought I shouldn't ride one. I wasn't feeling sick and it wouldn't hurt my legs so wasn't quite understanding their thoughts. Well, it turned out that they were concerned that I would lose my wig...lol....well, I hadn't considered that. I wanted to go anyway so just held onto my hair. Brandon sat next to me and would put his hand on top of my head to help out. It was funny and I didn't lose it but sure messed it up. I didn't ride the other roller coaster. Everyone went to the water park but I didn't want to get my wig wet so just stayed out and read a book and sweated--it was so hot!!!!! I got to rest alot at Sea World for we saw all of the shows so was sitting down quite a bit. My feet hurt by the time we went home but probably would have anyway whether I was on chemo or not. We came home on Monday (my legs weren't hurting much by then but my feet still were) and I had to have blood drawn so went there right away. Then we packed Sarah's stuff up and moved her into her apt where she will live during this next college year. I helped her unpack and took her grocery shopping then went home. Whew, I was so tired when we got home----soaked my feet in some good hot water.

Today I went to the chemo outpatient clinic and had Herceptin infused. I was there only for 1 1/2 hours this time. Yea!!!! I haven't had any kind of kind of side effects from it yet. I'm not really expecting any so that is good. Hope you all had a nice weekend. Now it's time for school to start which we did today. Busy, busy, busy........thanks for all of your prayers. Love you all....

Psalm 145:3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise, his greatness no one can fathom...

chemo day 4

Isaiah 30:19b How gracious he will be when you cry for help!! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.

This evening I am having some stomach and throat problems. It's hard to explain...not nausea, not gas, sorta of like indigestion and burning and fullness. I've had this before and thought it was from the neulasta shot but I didn't have the shot this time so must be from chemo. Chemo kills not only bad cells but good ones too and one of the ones they like most to kill off is digestive system ones. Other than that, I'm okay. The numbness in my fingers went away so all is well there. I've been busy helping my daughter prepare to move out--in other words, we've been packing and cleaning her room. She wants to live closer to college but she won't be far away. We are going out of town this weekend to be with family and a mini-vacation at Sea World. The rest of the family want to go to the water park at Sea World but I don't want to go in the water for I don't want to get my wig wet and of course, I won't take it off. I will take a book and read it while they are off playing in the water. It will work out just fine. I could sit in the wave pool..... by the way, I washed my wig for the first time yesterday. It looks nice today. Well, I need to get off to bed for my son is coming home at 4 am from a backpacking trip and I will be the one to pick him up. Yawn....... :) I am hoping this weekend my stomach problems will be resolved so I can enjoy the whole weekend.....Love you all and thanks for your prayers.

Isaiah 33:2 O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.

chemo day 3

Isaiah 40:28-29 The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Today I have been busy helping my daughter clean and pack up her room for she is moving out into an apt. to be nearer to college. My back has been hurting most of the day. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with chemo since Taxol can cause bone pain or if it's just from working but it started early in the day. My neck just started hurting. I also have been having indigestion problems but tums helps that. My spirits are up and I'm just happy that this round of chemo has gone well. God has been good. Thanks for your prayers again. You are all such good friends, family, and people who are concerned. I love you all.......

Isaiah 40:30-31 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

chemo day 2

I Thessalonians 5:16 Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

This has been a great day for me!!! I am so surprised how well I feel. I'm not tired or feeling bad at all. I still have some numbness in my fingers in left hand and now some pain in my right thumb but it's not bad. Those are normal side effects. I could experience more pain in hands or feet but so far all is good. I am so thankful to God for this good experience with chemo. I really feel that alot of this is from your prayers. God does hear our prayers. Keep praying. I have an uncle that was just diagnosed with throat cancer and he just had a tracheostomy and feeding tube put in. He will probably start chemo soon. We don't think he's a Christian so my mom is hoping to be able to witness to him during this time as he might be coming to her house while taking chemo. It seems many in my family has been experiencing cancer lately. Kinda of scary for the ones without cancer. But God is good and will take care of my family.

James 5:16b The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Chemo Day 1

Psalm 121:1-3 I lift up my eyes to the hills--Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth. He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber, the Lord will keep you from all harm--he will watch over your life.

Today has been a long day. I took chemo treatment #5 which means only 3 left. However, I am on a new chemo and cancer medication so things are different. First, because it was new, they gave the medications extra slow to see if I would have any bad reactions. I got to the chemo room around 10:30 am and left at 4:45 pm!!!! Over 6 hours!!!! If I had known I was to be there so long, I would have taken my computer!!! Anyway, I had no reactions which is great. Also, this new chemo--Taxol--usually doesn't drop your white blood cells too much so that means the doctor decided not to give me the neulasta shot this time to see how I do!!! Yea!! I am praying that the white blood cells do not drop. I will have a blood test on Monday. I am taking Herceptin which is not chemo but a cancer medication and I found out today that I am to take it weekly until I am done with Taxol (on Oct. 13) then it will be taken every 3 weeks. And I have to have blood drawn every time before I take Herceptin so I will be going there alot!!!! Yikes --I wasn't too thrilled on that but I will do what needs to be done. Luckily, my boys are big enough to do most of their homeschooling on their own. It only takes 30 minutes to take the Herceptin but will probably be there an hour for it takes time to start IV solution and to get the meds. and it takes me 30 minutes to drive there so that will be 2 hours each Tuesday and has to be done in the morning.

So, you are wondering how I am doing with the new meds. Praise the Lord, so far things are going great. NO nausea or vomiting. The nurse has encouraged me to change the way I take my anti-nausea meds too so I've not had hardly any today except what they gave me in the IV. I even ate dinner(Molly brought us some yummy dinner) which is a first!!! I was really tired though for they do give me Benadryl in the IV but usually I don't fall asleep but fight it for I am visiting with people but this time with Larry there, I dozed off. I did have a friend come, Heather, and I did visit and she and Sarah(I was texting Sarah at the time) thought I was probably dopey for I was acting very, very sleepy and not always making sense. lol. Another side effect is that Taxol can cause problems with the nervous system in extremities and I am experiencing some numbness in left fingers and palm. Weird feeling but it's okay. There might be achiness too but so far I've not had any. My throat is a tad bit sore so I hope it doesn't get worse. They say that Taxol also makes you lose hair like eyebrows, eyelashes, etc. I hope I don't lose those hair but we'll see, might take time according to my online support group. Yikes!!! Anyway, thank you for your prayers. This has been the best chemo day so far and I hope it continues to go well. Your prayers have been answered. Love you all.

Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble, He cares for those who trust in Him.

Tired

Isaiah 49:13 Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth, burst into song, O mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

I have noticed that I tire so easily. I want to do some many things then when I get going, I just don't have the stamina to keep going. Otherwise, I feel good so it's hard for me to need to slow down and rest but don't worry, I do rest in between doing whatever needs to be done. The other day I went grocery shopping and even had my youngest son(15 years old) with me. He was a great help but the shopping just exhausted me. After coming home and putting away the groceries, I ate a bite of lunch then took a nap. I am not a nap person so that shows how tired I was. Yesterday, I cleaned the bathroom then mopped the kitchen and that tired me out. But then I went walking right away with my neighbor and I didn't think I was going to be able to finish our walk but we walked slower than normal and I rested some at her driveway visiting to rest so I can finish the walk to my house.

This Tuesday is chemo treatment time again. It will be a new treatment so I have no idea how it will affect me. I still dread having it but know it needs to be done. My neices are in town and how I want to spend time with them but probably won't feel like doing much. I will take them horseback riding tomorrow before I have chemo so that will make them happy. They are staying at my dad's house. They are 11 and 14 years old.

I received the sweetest package from my chemoangel yesterday. Lots of craft books and beads to make some jewelry, books (one is a cookie cookbook--yummy), a beautiful shawl, and other things. I also received curriculum for the boys so it's time to think about school. I think I will have them start on Aug. 17. One boy is ready for school to start and the other doesn't even want to think about it. lol. Thanks again for all of your prayers. Oh, my uncle was just diagnosed with throat cancer. Seems cancer sure is showing up in my family lately. My aunt (not married to this uncle but his sister) died with breast cancer last November. I know this worries my mom. Pray for our family too. Love you all.......

Isaiah 49:23b .....Those who hope in me will not be disappointed.

Thursday

Psalm 91:1-2 He who dwells in the shelther of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almight. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.

I went on a short trip to my mom's for a couple of days and had a delightful time. It is so nice to be able to go on short trips in between my chemo treatments. I am feeling pretty good but am having some hip problems. I was going to a chiropracter but haven't been since I was diagnosed with cancer. In fact, I had an appt. with the chiropracter the day I was told I had cancer but canceled the appt. since it was immediatedly right after I was told and I just couldn't handle that at that time. What is so neat is that ever since my surgery (lumpectomy) my back hasn't hurt until just recently. Weird, for I have scoliosis so have had back problems for years. Anyway, guess it's time to go back so will call tomorrow for appt. Thanks again for your prayers. I was reading comments on my online support group and so many have so many side effects from their chemo and I feel that with all the prayers lifted up for me, I haven't had as many as some. Praise God.

Psalm 86:12-13 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. for great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

Tests

Jeremiah 7:7-8 But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.

Today I go to the hospital to have an echocardiogram which is a sound wave test of the heart. So why are they testing my heart? The Adriamycin chemo drug is hard on the heart and the Herceptin which I start next week is also hard on the heart so I will be having an echocardiogram every three months to be sure my heart is working okay. If any problems, then the medication will be stopped. I am not worried about the test for I feel that all is well. My heart has been healthy so I think it will still be healthy. Of course, all these meds might eventually wear my out heart so down the road of life, I could experience problems but I pray that won't be the case. I also go to have my blo0d drawn for a coumadin level test. I am hoping it's great and they can go to testing every 3 weeks instead of every 2. Their goal is to get it to every 4 weeks. I am going tomorrow to visit my mom which is a 2 hour drive away. I'll be back Thursday--short trip but that is what happens when you have a kid who is working so has to be back home for his job. Thanks again for your prayers. Love you all.......

Lamentations 3:22 Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Good news

Psalm 118:28-29 You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forver.

In my last post, I mentioned that I talked to insurance about the neulasta shots and they said the shots will be covered. I was hoping I understood that correctly. Yesterday, in the mail, we received a letter from insurance,and indeed, the shots will be paid for!!!! At least until Sept. 10 and then we will have to pre-certify again. I am so happy to know that we don't have to pay that $8000 that the hospital has billed us. Thank you God!!!!!

The other day I took my boys to our hairdresser, Kim, for a haircut. She is the one who cut my long, long hair. I wore my wig which she thought was cute but I told her that I hated the way it flipped so much. She trimmed it up for me and now in the back, it doesn't flip but curls under like I wanted. It still flips some in the front but it's okay. She cut the bangs a little for it got into my eyes but now it is harder to work with but it's okay. So, I got a 'wig' cut!!! lol. I am feeling fine but just get so tired by early evening--can't seem to last as long as before. My husband is leaving today for a class he has to take so will be gone until Sat. so I'll be all alone with the kids. Thanks for your prayers and that you are willing to keep reading my blog. Shows you are concerned and thinking of me. Ahhh.......... love you all.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own undersanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.