Insurance

Psalm 89:1 I will sing of the Lord's great love forever, with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.

I called insurance today to see how the progress was going about them paying for the neulasta shots that cost so much. It turns out that the board of review nurses decided to approve any shots I take from the first one until 9/10/09!!!! That means they will pay and she said they should be sending out the statement to tell me that. After 9/10/09, the dr's office has to call to pre-certify whether they will pay or not. I am so happy!!!!!!!! I want to cry tears of joy. God heard our prayers!!!! Thank you so much for praying. This was a big thing for it was going to cost us about $8000 which I don't have readily available. I am thrilled. The lady at the insurance told me to have a wonderful day and I said "you just made it wonderful so thank you" and she just laughed a sweet laugh. I will make sure that all new medications are pre-certified by my insurance before it is given. I am to have 2 new medications next chemo day which is Aug. 11. I go tomorrow to have blood drawn to be sure my blood counts are okay. Thanks again for your prayers--God does hear and He does provide. I am so thankful to God!!!!! He sure was testing my faith in His provision for me....I knew in some way, He would take care of me. But I did worry and I shouldn't have.......I am forgiven for worrying....thanks God.

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Home from trip

Psalm 86:12-13 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

I went on a very short vacation with my sister--our girl time--to a small town about 2 1/2 hours from my town. I left home on Sunday after lunch and arrived there around 3:30 pm. We had a great visit together. We took a walk along a river that evening. It was good to walk for I haven't gone walking since my last chemo treatment. It was quite hot and I had to stop once for a little rest but there were huge trees that provided lots of shade. We met a minister on our walk (he was walking his beautiful dog) and enjoyed a short chat with him. The biggest problem I had that day was just not really feeling hungry--my stomach felt full and funny. For dinner, we shared a meal which was perfect for us since my sister has stomach problems herself and is unable to eat alot at one time. The next day we went shopping downtown but this town only had 2 hours worth of cute stores for us to shop in so we decided to go to another town that was only 30 minutes away that have tons of shops. I had to rest frequently and was quite thirsty but the stomach problems seemed better so was able to have a nice lunch. Even ate ice cream in the late afternoon. I need to go on a diet now!!!! I was quite exhausted when we finished shopping (around 5:30 pm) but was able to drive home without any problems. Another problem I am having is the tip of my tongue seems to be sore--like it was burned or cut. I have this each time I have chemo. I am not sure what to do but just wait it out and let it heal on it's own. It is quite bothersome but I just deal with it and go on with life. lol. I am thankful to God for this short time of a vacation. I did get tired of wearing my wig all day long and was so happy when I did arrive home so I could take it off!!!! But I am grateful that I can wear it. A lady today at the farmers market told me that she wished she had hair like mine!!!!! I didn't dare tell her it was a wig. I thought it was funny. I am getting used to wearing it but sometimes I think people look at me strangely and then I worry--is some of the webbing showing or what is weird about me? I just have to shake it off and not let it worry me. Thanks to all who prayed for my little vacation. I enjoyed it and did fine with it. (and I didn't spend much either-lol) I love you all.......

I Thessalonians 5: 11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Sunday am--going on mini vacation

Psalm 108:3 I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For Great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens and let your glory be over all the earth.

Saturday was a day where I went grocery shopping with Larry and did lots of housecleaning, cooking plus laundry. I did rest in between each chore but still was exhausted by the end of the day but felt satisfied with all I did. We discovered why I feel so full after I have chemo (when I am able to eat again-lol). The neulasta shot can enlarge your spleen so maybe that is what is happening to me. Larry gets all concerned about side effects of medications so has been watching me like a hawk to be sure I'm okay.

Today I am going on my first vacation (besides going to my mom's) since starting chemo. I am meeting my sister in a small town that is not far from either one of us (in the middle). I will leave after church and lunch. We had a sister time last summer and enjoyed it so much so want to do it annually so this is our sister time. Just her and I!!!! There is a river in this town so probably will explore it and go to a park and have dinner with lots of fellowship. Then tomorrow we'll go downtown and shop and visit a museum or two or whatever we feel like doing. She had a birthday 10 days ago so will shop for her present--how fun. This hotel has a cool pool and hot tub but not sure if I'll go in--can't get the wig wet nor do I want to take it off. Will sit by the side of the pool and enjoy putting my feet in it. Same goes for the river, have to be careful with my wig not to get it wet. What a bummer but that's okay!!!! I'm just excited to be able to go. I am praying that the trip goes smoothly as I am tired today but I think I'll be just fine. It's only a 2 hour trip. Thanks for all your prayers for I do so covet them. You are all so sweet to check up on me, I really do appreciate your love and concern. Love you all......

Psalm 105:4 Look to the Lord and His strength; seek his face always.

Chemo Day 3

James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perservance.

On my 3rd day post chemo, I mainly was achy from the neulasta shot and tired. I took 2 naps--one in the morning and one in the early afternoon. I thought I was going to sleep all day but I finally got up around 4 pm and stayed up until bedtime. That is so unusual for me, to sleep so much. Usually Tylenol helps take away the bone pain but not this time, I was so sensitive to touch especially in the shoulder, neck, back, and hip areas. But it is better this morning. No problems with nausea and I am taking my anti-nausea medications around the clock.

Larry went to pay on the hospital bill which also has the bill for the neulasta shots. They didn't give him any problems and allowed him to pay whatever he wanted. I feel more at peace about that plus I am thinking of taking another medication that maybe insurance will pay, and I will go with that one if need to. It means more shots and more time going to the dr's but if that is the way I must go, then I will do it. I am praying that I will have a good day today. Larry is going back to work and leaving me pretty much on my own (will have one son here). I have some housecleaning to do but I will take it slow and easy. Luckily I don't really have much to do in the way of cooking, for our neighbor, CJ, gave us a brisket and had a meal delievered to us too. Thanks again for all your prayers. Love you all.....

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

chemo day 2

Psalm 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me.

I went on Wed. to get my neulasta shot but insurance did not approve it. The dr's office had a sample shot which they gave me so it will cost me nothing. It surprised me that they have such an expensive sample shot but I am happy about that. The nurses told me that the dr. is going to call insurance himself and fight for me. Yea!!!! I hope it works. Please continue to pray that insurance will end up paying for these shots. Right now I owe the hospital $8000 for 2 shots I've already had before I knew insurance wasn't going to pay. If insurance continues to say no, I am wondering if the dr. will let me try the new chemo meds next time without the shot to see if my white blood count still goes down. I can't afford to have any more shots.

I did not have any more nausea or vomiting which made me happy. I was able to eat regular food without problems. I felt pretty good and it was hard to make myself just sit around and rest but that is what I did. In the evening, the neulasta shot effects started to take place--pain in my shoulders and neck. Very sensitive to touch. Then during night, pain in the back and hips started. Tylenol helps but still can feel the pain. Thanks again for your prayers. I know God is working in my life and I need to just trust and see how He is going to provide and take care of the situation I am in. Love you all.....

He has brought you this far and He's not letting you go now; so do not fear, for I am with you: do not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

chemo day 1

Psalm 142:1-3 I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way.

The first thing I was worried about when I went to the doctor was about the neulasta shot. I had called insurance and they hadn't received the medical records. I told the dr. that insurance hadn't said they would pay for it. He said he's never had trouble with insurance not paying for it if they have proof and they never give it without proof. I asked if they could call to get authorization to give this neulasta shot like they should have called in the first place. The hospital was working on it when I left so hopefully when it's time to get the shot, it will be cleared. I told him that I didn't want the shot if insurance wouldn't pay and he said he would not give me chemo without the shot. what a dilemma this is. I am praying that insurance will come through and pay for there is no way we can afford to pay for those shots at around $4000 a shot and with the hospital wanting you to pay it off in 6 months. Pray that insurance will pay.

Chemo itself went okay. My mom was with me and we visited and played a card game during chemo. I tried not to eat much for I didn want to get so sick. Several people suggested eating ice so I had bought a huge glass of ice (with some diet Dr. Pepper in it) but all these things didn't help. I take so much anti-nausea medication but still I get so sick. About 3 hours after getting home I got sick so went on to bed for the rest of the evening without eating anything. I got sick twice altogether. I hope that will be it and no more vomiting the rest of the week. I also get chilled so had lots of blankets then I'll get hot. So the covers are going back and forth--lol. I have a headache too--not bad but it's there. I kept praying all day that I won't be too sick and just that God will be with me through all of this. I know He is here and cares for me. Today I go for the neulasta shot which I hate too for it gives bone pain. Oh, well......I will endure it all. Thanks for your prayers. Love you all....

Psalm 145:17-19 The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him:, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.

Day before Chemo

Psalm 146:5-6 Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord, his God, the maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them...the Lord who remains faithful forever.

Tomorrow I go in for my 4th chemo treatment--half way done!!!!! It is also the last time I take Adriamycin and Cytoxin chemo. Next month I start Taxol and Herceptin. I will be glad to get this one over. However, I am not looking forward to tomorrow but I know it will come but it will also end quick enough. Today I've been cleaning house and watering the garden (it rained while watering) and doing things to prepare for me being down for a few days. Brandon left today to help out at a camp so he'll be gone all week. My mom is coming this evening to help me out with chemo tomorrow--it always helps to have someone else here. I know that having this cancer has drawn me closer to the Lord and to some other people as well. Relationships tend to grow closer when going through hard times. I love my family and my friends and am happy to know that I have support from them, especially those prayers. I really do feel God has protected me in so many ways. I was talking with a friend today and I was thinking how I've not been sick with a cold, etc. since starting chemo even though I've been exposed and have had some low white blood cell counts. Oh, I went in this morning to have blood drawn to be sure counts are good to take chemo tomorrow. So far, that has not ever been a problem. Tomorrow, I have blood drawn for my coumadin level right before I go for chemo. I am hoping my levels are better this time since they were too low last time. Please keep me in your prayers tomorrow as I take chemo. I see the dr. at 8:40 am so will probably start chemo around 9:30 am. I am going to add a picture to my blog with me wearing my wig. Thanks for your prayers and love. I love you all ........

Psalm 147:1, 3 Praise the Lord, How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to priase him!! He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Saturday

Psalm 145:8-9 The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.

Not much has really been happening to me lately. I am mentally gearing myself up for next week which is chemo week again. It will be the last time I take the Adriamycin (the red devil medication). I don't look forward to taking it again but I do know that chemo is to be my friend for it will help keep me living longer. I've been cleaning house and walking daily to keep myself strong and healthy. There are times when I almost forget that I have cancer for I feel so good. I enjoy hearing from my chemoangels and received a sweet package today from one of them. She sent me gardening books, computer program on landscaping, and a cute decoration for a potted plant that she found at a craft fair. She knew that I enjoyed gardening. I've been working every morning pulling up weeds and grass, trying to get things looking nice for next week, I won't have the energy nor feel well enough to work out in the yard. I am getting quite used to wearing my wig and even wear it some at home whenever I get home from being in town. I will put a picture up on this site soon so you can see what I look like in my wig. Well, thanks again for all of your prayers. I will really need them next week. I would love to be able to make it through without any vomiting. I almost don't want to eat on chemo day for I hate that vomiting. I've been trying to think what I can eat that won't be so bad......well, I love you all......

Psalm 145:3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise, His greatness no one can fathom.

Thursday

Psalm 138:8 The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love , O Lord, endures forever--do not abandon the works of your hands.

Yesterday I took Brandon to a golf tournament in a town about 2 hours away. It was quite hot there but I survived it just fine--nice oak trees around to cool off under. I met another mom there and was able to minister to her for her dad is to find out today whether for sure he has cancer or not. She's a Christian and has a good attitude about it but of course, is worried. I think this was the first time I really got to minister to someone else about cancer. I know God will use my cancer to help others out who are facing cancer or other bad diseases. I talked about trusting God and having a good attitude. Of course we talked about chemo, etc. Just lift a prayer today for Robin and her dad to deal with whatever God hands them today--sounds like he has lung cancer.

Well, my doctor's office has sent my medical records to insurance but they had to mail it so who knows how long it will take to receive it and then send it to the board of review. I may not be able to take the next neulasta shot but the nurse told Larry that I don't have to take it within 24 hours to help out so we'll discuss it when I see the doctor on Tuesday. I am already dreading next week.....I will be having chemo again on July 21. Thanks for your prayers and love....I love you all. God bless you for your love and care shown to me .

I Thessolonian 5:16 Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Sunday

Psalm 116:7-9 Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord, in the land of the living.

In my last post, I wrote about the insurance problem with the neulasta shot. Well, I have hope that they will end up paying for it. I talked to them again and they were going to fax a notice about needing the medical records to the dr's office and the dr's office told me that they are willing to send the medical records. Once the insurance receives them, they will go to the board of review and decide--hopefully they will see that my white blood count went down way too low and will approve of the medication. I hope it gets done quickly since next week is chemo week again and I will need the shot. But I will not take it if I don't know for sure it's approved. I learned through this that I really need to stay on top of things and be sure things get approved before taking new medications that are expensive, etc.

My mouth sores are better too. I developed another one but it's going away too. My only problem right now is weight gain. Ugh. I am walking nearly every day but need to cut down on those snacks, I guess. lol. Or at least eat healthier snacks. It's been hard since I have to watch the vegetable intake and not eat too much. The blood thinner makes me cold at times so here it is, 100 degrees outside and I'm wearing a jacket inside the house. lol. Then I get hot flashes and start sweating. I can't seem to stay comfortable. Oh, well.....I can handle those problems. Today I had several people at church comment on my new 'hairstyle'. They all say it's cute. I think some don't realize it's really a wig. lol. Thanks for your prayers and love.....Love you all.....

Psalm 123:8 Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

bad news but maybe it wil be okay

Deuteronomy 20:3 Hear, O Israel, today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be faint-hearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them. For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory

Throughout this journey, I've been doing pretty good. I've hardly broken down to cry or worry too much but yesterday, we were hit with news that nearly blew me over and I cried. We received a bill from the dr's office saying we owe thousands of dollars and after checking it out, it was showing that insurance did not pay for the neulasta shot (to keep white blood count from going too low). That shot costs $5700. I've had 2 shots. I didn't look at the insurance claims right and didn't notice that they weren't paying. I wouldn't have had the 2nd shot if I had known or would have called insurance. Anyway, I worried about it through the first half of the night and then, just gave it to God. I called insurance this morning and they haven't denied it completely. It's a medication that needs authorization prior to being given (I thought the dr's office had called) and they also need my medical records to verify that I need the medication. They have sent a notice saying that they need the medical records. I am going to the dr's office today to get blood drawn to check my blood counts so will question them about whether they sent the medical records and to be sure to call prior to giving me any new medications--I have a new one coming up in August. So, there is hope that insurance will come through and pay for it. Please pray that they will pay.

I am starting to get mouth sores. My tongue is still bothering me but not as much. Chemo does cause mouth problems. The mouth sores aren't too bad yet but am using a water/hydrogen peroxide mouth rinse. It is bothersome but could be worse. I am hoping it won't get too bad. I went grocery shopping yesterday and it really exhausted me. Guess I just have trouble doing big chores like that but I actually like grocery shopping. Well, thanks for your prayers and concerns. Love you all..... (Heather & KK--enjoyed seeing you both yesterday)

Psalm 31z'24 Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

Coumadin level and hair

Psalm 63:7-8 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.

Today I went in for a coumadin (blood thinner) blood check to see how my levels are. They were too low which means my blood is not thin enough. Not sure why--guess I eat too many vegetables and salads. They increased my dosage. I've decided to cut down on my salads but that is hard for I do try to diet. I just can't seem to lose weight. Many people say they gain weight while on chemo but I don't want to do that. Of course, if I would quit eating sweets, maybe I would lose some weight. lol. I bought a yummy watermelon yesterday. It tastes so sweet. Should munch more on that than other snacks.

Today as I was showering, I was thinking of my hair. You would think if I lost my hair on my scalp, that I should lose hair elsewhere. It is funny where the hair goes and which places still has hair. Wonder why? Are the follicles different--some harder to lose. I still have hair on my arms--I'm quite hairy there (luckily --very blonde--lol) I still have hair on my legs but it doesn't seem to grow much so I don't have to shave as often but still I shave. I would love to not be shaving. I have no hair under my arms nor my 'whiskers' on my chin. I still have eyebrows and eyelashes but I did hear that they are the last to lose and some lose them after chemo is done. How weird is that? Anyway, that is what I was thinking today.

I am feeling pretty good. The only side effects I seem to have is forgetfulness--lol--or is that just old age? Also, the tip of my tongue feels like I burned it. It did that after my last treatment too. Lasted almost the whole 2 good weeks I had. Very strange. It hurts....enough to get my attention, especially when eating. Well, I am excited that I am in my good week so hope it stays that way. I started walking again (maybe that will help with my weight). Thanks again for your prayers. I do covet them. Love you all......

Psalm 92:4-5 For you make me glad by your deeds, O Lord; I sing for joy at the works of your hands. How great are your works, O Lord, how profound your thoughts.

Great weekend

Psalm 118:28-29 You are my God and I will give you thanks; you are my God and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

I was able to go to my mom's for the 4th of July weekend. It was good to see family. There were 12 of us there. I felt pretty well most of the time --appetite not as it usually is but maybe that saved me from gaining lots of pounds with all the food around. lol It's hard to explain but sometimes it feels like there is a knot in my throat or esophagus that keeps me from wanting to eat. I was some tired but was able to pace myself and not get too exhausted. I would get chilled still but that could even be from being on blood thinners so I heard. Everyone there accepted me wearing scarves and hats. My sister bought be a patriotic do-rag to wear which I did--thanks Khristi!!! Even my little neices never said anything to me so that made me feel good. I wore my wig to church and many people there know I have cancer and they were all so kind and made it a point to say hello to me. I am looking forward to having some good days ahead. Not only am I dealing with cancer but dealing with my kids growing up and not being home as much. It's a good thing but different with meal planning, etc. I'm such a planner.....lol. My youngest will be gone this week working at a camp and my oldest son is working 4 evenings a week. Spending lots of evenings with just my husband!!! Wow!!! Well, thanks for praying for me over the weekend. I hope everyone had an enjoyable weekend too. I am so thankful to God that I was able to spend precious time with my family. Love you all.....

Psalm 118:21 This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Chemo Day 4

Psalm 105:9 Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.

Today started out okay--got up early but was tired so would do some laundry and watering of the flower beds and trees in between times of quick rests. After watering, doing my quiet time, etc., I watched TV and during the commercials, I would do some housework. Larry and Christopher were off golfing and Brandon spent the night at my dad's visiting with his cousin, and Sarah slept quite late so pretty much, I was alone. I got sick early in the morning--seems like smells are getting to me. Also, I had quit taking the anti-nausea meds last night so I restarted them. Didn't feel like eating much today. Felt better by afternoon which was good for we had out of town friends come by to visit, Tim and Valerie. After they left, I tried to get ready for our anticipated out of town trip in the morning to go to my mom's. Decided I should just lie down and rest plus I was freezing. Took a little nap--mainly just rested but felt better. Did some things outside (trying to warm up) and when I came in, there was a smell like perfume in the kitchen area that made me sick again!!! Ugh.....when am I going to feel better. I am really wanting to go to my mom's so hope I will feel better in the am. I've hardly eaten today for my stomach hurts too besides feeling nausea. Guess, I just never know which is going to be my bad day. But I do know that the Lord will get me through this day and each day. Just keep praying for I know God hears. Love you all......

Psalm 73:28 But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.

Chemo Day 3

Psalm 116:5-6 The Lord is gracious and righteous; Our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.

Praise God, the 3rd day wasn't as bad as the treatment before. Some say that the treatments get worse but mine seem to get better. I did have some bone pain in the morning but Tylenol helped out and by night, it was just tender if touched by hand. I was tired off and on so took some naps. I finally got tired of being in bed so got up and did a few little things around the house but not much. The metallic/weird taste I usually get doesn't seem to be happening this time which I'm glad for. I still get chilled which is such a hassle for I'm contstantly taking blankets off and on for I get hot too. My body doesn't know what to do, lol. All in all, I'm pleased with this treatment. Next treatment will be the last of the Adriamycin which is the worse chemo drug I'll be taking. In August, I'll start some new medications--Taxol and Herceptin. Thank you for your prayers for I know that is what got me through this treatment.

Today I am doing laundry and getting ready to go out of town to go to my mom's and visit with family--my sister and youngest brother will be there with their families. I'm praying that I can do what I need to do without over doing it. Plus a friend from out of town, Valerie, is coming to visit this afternoon. Hugs to you all.....

I asked the Lord what I could do for you today...so He touched my heart and asked me to pray.

chemo day 2

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus!!

Today has been a better day. No vomiting or nausea--praise God. In fact, I ate regular food--fried chicken for dinner(neighbor brought dinner to us tonight--thanks CJ). I've been tired so took couple of naps. I get chilled and have a flushed looking face but no fever. I've just rested and tried not to do anything so that hopefully tomorrow will also be a good day. I did go get the neulasta shot and have been taking Tylenol to ward off the bone pain that it causes.

I want to share a story on how God does meet our needs. The night before chemo, I couldn't find one of my anti-nausea medication --the one I really like. I looked all over but to no avail. I told Larry not to worry that I would just pray and God will show me where it is. I went on to bed and prayed then immediately the thought came to me that it was in my purse. I thought, thanks, I'll get it in the morning but I felt I should get up right then to be sure and get it out--and sure enough, there was my medication. God does meet our needs and answers our prayers. Thanks for all of your prayers. They are being answered. Love you all.......

Today may you be refreshed by God's presence knowing He Cares and goes before you into each new day.