Herceptin and Radiation day 19

Psalm 116:5-6 The Lord is gracious and righteous; Our God is full of compassionl. The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.

Had Herceptin infusion today at the chemo clinic in my town. Dropped the boys off at the library to do school work while I had my medication. I told them about my problems with the radiation center not being covered by my insurance. They said that they didn't even know for a while that it wasn't part of that medical system. Anyway, they were able to get the Herceptin in quickly so I was finished by 10 am. Picked up the boys and off we went to San Antonio. While receiving the Herceptin, I really got tired and was just about to take a short nap when the infusion pump went off saying it was done. I was tired all the way to San Antonio. Brandon brought his guitar so played it in the car and we sang together which was fun and kept me wide awake. I am still tired!!! We got to San Antonio in time for me to drop off the boys at my sister's and unpack the car. Then I left for my radiation treatment. I realized that I didn't have my parking permit--Larry had taken it off the dashboard and put it on the clip on the console but it wasn't there anymore. I searched around it but couldn't find it. I parked in the cancer center parking anyway and asked the secretary for another one. I think I caught her at a bad time (they had just received an unexpected patient belonging to a different dr. that doesn't come there often) for when I asked, she gave me a look that could have killed. Apparently, you get only one permit but she let me sign in some logbook. Maybe because I am tired, I was also emotional and just wanted to cry and thought, what a silly thing to get upset about. On my way out, I saw a parking lot not too far away that doesn't cost. Most of them cost to use. Today, I saw the doctor and he informed me that I am going to get burned. The doctors always say that to me. Guess it will happen but who knows when. I also had x-rays--they always do it on Mondays plus weigh you. I asked if I could have an earlier time on Friday so I could leave earlier to go home and so now I am scheduled for 10:45 am instead of 2:30 pm. That is great since my boys do have a basketball game that night.

After my radiation treatment, I went to my nephew's high school to watch his basketball game but got lost on the way. It should have been easy to get there for I was on the right street which would have taken me to his high school but at one point, it turns left at a light, and I just kept on going straight. I finally figured out that something wasn't right so turned around, then stopped at a shopping center and looked at my map. Called my sister to say I was late and lost but I think I figured it out. lol. Finally got there at the same time as my brother-in-law. I was starving for some reason so ate my sandwich that my sister made for us at 4:30. After my nephew's basketball, I decided to leave. My sister had to work the concession stand and the boys stayed too so I went to the grocery store and now I am at my sister's all alone--well the dog is sleeping next me while I sit on the couch. lol. Sweet dog. So nice and quiet here. I may go to bed early tonight!!! I really worked alot this past weekend doing so much at home to get ready to come back to San Antonio. I think that is why I am so tired. Well, thanks for your prayers and love......

Psalm 142:1-3 I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift my voice to the Lored for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I t ell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way.

Thanksgiving holiday

Psalm 145:3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.

I hope each one of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!! I have so much to be thankful for: God, family, friends, freedom, church, and even my health. I am still alive and can look forward to many more years of living. Yes, I have breast cancer but I can beat this and survive for who knows how long. My mom went to a birthday party today for a lady who turned 100 years old. She had breast cancer when she was 80 years old and that was 20 years ago and she is still ticking!!!!

I didn't get to write what happened right before I went to my mom's for Thanksgiving--when I left San Antonio. My onocologist's office called to say I needed blood work before I get my Herceptin on Monday. There was no way I was going to get to my doctor's office so they faxed the lab work order to the cancer center where I get radiation. They gave me the order and sent me next door to a lab that I thought my insurance would cover. It took me awhile just to find the lab and when I finally did, turns out that my insurance doesn't cover that lab but they knew where I could go. It was to a lab a couple of blocks away in a hospital but I wasn't sure where to park so went around the block--huge block and decided to park in the parking garage. We noticed that the sign said that you don't have to pay if parked for only 30 minutes so our goal was to get in and out within that time frame. We found the lab and luckily they didn't have anyone there. After filling out all the data ,we were afraid that they couldn't do it due to not finding my doctor listed in my town (he had moved here about a year ago) but luckily, they found him listed in Texas. They took my blood and off we went. Whew, we got out of there before 30 minutes!!!! Praise God. We left there and went on to my mom's --a 5 hour trip and boy, was the interstate busy!!!!

We got home today and I've been busy doing laundry, grocery shopping, Christmas decorating, and some house cleaning. I am quite tired but just keep plugging on with a few rest breaks (like now--lol) for I don't have much time since I leave again on Monday morning. It will be so nice to sleep in my own bed tonight. Any maybe a cat or two will sleep with me--missed those cats. lol
Another thing I am thankful for is all of you who take the time to read my blog and keep up with my journey through cancer and boy , is it a journey; but we all have a journeys that we are embarking on. I pray that you will hang onto God while you g0 through your journey!!! Love you all................

Psalm 118:28-29 You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Radiation--halfway done!

Isaiah 12:4 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted.

Yesterday was my 17th treatment and I have only 16 more to go!!! Yea--I am halfway done!! I am getting quite familiar now on how to get to the cancer center. The traffic hasn't been too bad but my sister informs me it's partly because the schools in this part of town have been out all week. I'll have to wait to see what the traffic is like next week. However, after I got to the cancer center, I had to wait around 45 minutes to get my treatment. In my town, I rarely had to wait and never that long. Oh, well..... After my treatment today, my boys and I will be traveling to my mom's which is 5 hours away!! I will get to see what my sister has to go through to travel to my mom's every time. lol. Christopher can drive so I will let him drive part of the way. That will be nice. My husband and Sarah will leave this afternoon for my mom's too and I can't wait to see them.

Last night we went to my younger nephew's basketball game again but this time they were doing a fundraiser for cancer so the team was wearing pink socks and they had pink t-shirts over their uniform when not playing. Lots of people were wearing pink. Brandon and I were wearing pink t-shirts that I got from doing a Pink Ribbon Run (fundraiser for breast cancer in my town). They had all kinds of other things to raise money such as raffling 3 items, pink paper airplane contest, pink ribbons to buy and wear, and pink lemonade to purchase for a donation. My sister and I worked in the concession stand during the girl's game which was fun. I think my boys are getting quite bored being there and watching all those games. Of course, I kinda of laugh to myself for they are seeing what it is like for me to sit and watch their games and all the others that we stay and watch, especially during a tournament. But I do feel sorry for them for they are missing being with their friends and activities. This is a hard time for them but they haven't complained.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to spending time with my mom and youngest brother and his family. My sister is going to her in-laws this year since her father-in-law is celebrating his 70th birthday today. Thanks for all of your prayers . love, and support. Love you all.....

Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.

1st radiation in San antonio

Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours.

Today I went to the cancer center to get a radiation treatment. My sister drove me there to show me how to get there. There are so many hospitals in this medical complex. We went into the hospital but couldn't find the cancer center. Even the admissions person didn't know exactly where it was (that was a little scary--lol). Anyway, we finally found out and went in the back way. We now know how to get in the front way--lol--for they have an outside entrance and parking nearby--yea!!! I saw the dr. and he was nice but concerned for he thinks my first dr. was radiating too much of my lungs (I didn't even realize any of the lungs were being radiated). he said that could cause pulmonary fibrosis in later years if not careful so he is going to change the direction the rays go in. At first he said that we would get the set up today and then start the radiation on wednesday then realized they are going to be closed for the holidays on Thursday and Friday so decided that maybe they could start today. I have to wear this interesting bra looking thing to lift up my breasts to better radiate them. Very interesting. I leave it there and will wear it each time I go. Everyone at the cancer center was nice. I went back to my sister's house for lunch and did some schooling with the boys. They called me around 2:30 and told me to be there in 30 minutes so they could do my first radiation treatment there. Luckily, it takes about 20 minutes to get there. And I drove myself there this time and didn't get lost. They had to take lots of x-ray pictures so I had to lie still for a while so was happy when they finally finished. They really marked me up with their permanent marker -lots more than the center before. I won't be able to wear some of my shirts--oh, well........ I will be getting my radiation treatments in the afternoons. I had hoped to get my treatments in the morning except for Mondays but I guess since they knew I needed Monday afternoons they gave me all afternoons. That means when I leave for the weekend, I will have to leave later than i would like but that's okay. I need Monday afternoons for I have things to do in my town on Monday mornings like getting Herceptin, seeing the onocologist, etc. The boys will be able to get their schooling done on Friday mornings for I had planned to have them do it in the car which is sometimes hard to do--lots of distractions. After I was finished with the radiation treatment, I came back 'home' and put lots of aloe vera gel on. I really don't want to get burned.

My sister has had several offers for help--meals and even places for me to stay. Some of them think I am an 'invalid', for one lady commented that it wouldn't be good for me to stay with her for I would find it hard to manage the stairs. We thought that was funny. I am far from being an invalid but it is sweet that she has some caring friends. So far things are going well at my sister's. Her youngest son does have lots of school work involving computer work so he was up late which means my boys were up late since they were sleeping in the computer room (a study). And today, Brandon was one grumpy boy but they will adjust......I do so appreciate my sister for letting us stay. Now I am praying that insurance will pay for all of this!!!!! Thanks for your prayers too.

John 14:13-14 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

Leaving for San Antonio

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Today is the day my boys and I leave for San Antonio to stay with my sister and her family for a few weeks. We will come home for the weekends, so that is going to be alot of traveling but that's okay. You have to do what is best for the circumstances and this is the best way in this situation. I am already pretty much packed. I don't want to be a burden for my sister so we are helping with meals, taking paper goods, etc. My oldest nephew (a senior in high school)is giving up his bedroom for me to sleep in. He will share with his brother but that means he has to sleep on a cot but he did that all summer at boy scout camp so he doesn't mind. What a sweet nephew. My boys will also be sleeping on cots in the dining room area--an area that isn't used much. This will be adventure and during the Christmas season which makes it different. I love Christmas and to decorate, bake, and do all kinds of fun things so it will be interesting to see how this goes this season. I took down all my fall stuff yesterday so when I come next weekend, I can get started with Christmas decorating. The fun thing will be getting to do my shopping in a much bigger city!!! Lots of choices--maybe too many. lol.

I think my hair is starting to grow again. I am so ready for it to grow. Tired of wearing hats and wigs. Well, thanks for your prayers. Tomorrow I go to the new place and get all set up again. I wonder if they will do radiation too. I hope so. The sooner, the better so I can come home to stay. Love you all....

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Friday--Nov. 20

Psalm 9:18 Thsoe who know your name will trust in You, for you, lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Looks like I am off to San Antonio to finish up my radiation treatments. I had a few scares for I called insurance today to be sure they will cover the set up for radiation and the guy said that the hospital wasn't covered but in the process of recertification but said I should get the tax ID to be sure. I called the hospital and they said they checked and I am covered but she gave me the tax ID so I called back and sure enough, I am covered there. yea!!!!! I talked to the doctor who will be treating me. He was confused on why I was coming so explained to him and he understood but thought it was terrible that I had to go down there. He says the doctors and patients get caught in the middle. He said he would even treat me for free but I told him that he was covered by my insurance. What a nice dr. Anyway, I am to be there on Monday morning. The nurse said they never had anyone transfer after receiving so many treatments but she understood my reasoning when I explained. She seemed nice. I have to admit, I was getting quite frustrated and teary there for awhile. I almost wanted to quit again but don't worry Mother, I won't .....I even said that to the dr. and he said, no, you can't do that.

I did not take any radiation treatments yesterday or today. My dr. said it was okay to miss these days. I had to call to reschedule some dr. appts. and my coumadin level checks. I went in today to get coumadin level checked and it was high again. I am trying to get any appts on Mondays so hopefully I can get radiation treatment on Monday at a late time and then travel to San Antonio on Monday. It will be harder for my boys to do school in the car but they have done it before.

Today I have been so scatterbrained with my thoughts going everywhere trying to get things ready for my trip. So much to do.....did laundry, started to pack clothes, gathered up school books and items we will need plus made lesson plans for the next 2 weeks. Plus I had to do school with the boys today--I was behind in reading Chemistry (yes, I have to read it then go over it with the boys even though they have read it too but they seem to need extra teaching on it. ) There were many other little things to do too. Tonight we are going to watch a play at the college where my daughter is the assistant stage manager. Tomorrow we are going out of town for a basketball game. I know I should stay home but I want to support my boys and maybe even see my mom since it's near her. I will be taking my laptop plus my sister does have a computer so I will continue to blog my experiences. Thanks for all your prayers. Just pray that the insurance really does cover this and just for all of us to adjust to being in a different place and for my sister and her family as they adjust to us being there. Pray that I remember everything I need to take. This will be a weird week with it being Thanksgiving for I will probably leave San Antonio and drive straight to my mom's to celebrate Thanksgiving there. Well, love you all and thanks again for your prayers.

Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Thursday--Nov. 19

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Hard to believe it is mid-Novemeber already. Time sure flies by fast these days. Yesterday Larry was able to pull up a list of hospitals and doctors that our insurance covers. I went for my radiaiton treatments and one tech said that there are radiation treatments done in hospitals so I searched several hospitals online to see if they have radiation treatments. I finally found 3--Scott and White in Temple, one in Brownwood, and then one in San Antonio. I am going for the one in San Antonio for my sister lives there and I can stay with her. I called the one in San Antonio to be sure they are under my insurance and not renting space from that hospital. They gave me the doctor's phone number so I called the radiation center here to have them set up a time for me to go down. I haven't heard anything yet---hopefully today I will hear something. If this doesn't work out, we have decided we will just finish up here. My mother says she will help with the payments--thanks Mom. I know that God is in control and I just need to sit back and completely trust Him in this matter. He knew all along I wasn't being covered well by insurance so there must be a reason for all this--maybe for me to have complete faith in Him!!!

So far, I am doing well with the radiation treatments---not really red yet. Sometimes it is a little pinkish but not all the time. It doesn't hurt at all so able to wear my bra--lol. I wish my hair would hurry up and start growing. I am so ready. My head gets cold without hair!!!! :) Thanks for being a faithful reader and prayer partner. Love you all......

II Corinthians 12:9 But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.

radiation day 15

John 16:33 In this world you will have trouble . But take heart: I have overcome the world.

I had my fifteenth day and thought it was the last day to have it at the center here in my town. I told everyone goodbye. They all gave me hugs and said that they liked me and I could come back for a visit. Maybe I will make them cookies sometime. I saw the onocologist radiation dr. and he was understanding of us wanting to go elsewhere if the insurance would pay. He said they've not had problems before. Great....why me. I had my colonoscopy which went well. My nurse who took me in is a Christian and even goes to my church so before she took me, we prayed. How sweet. They found nothing so that is good--colon is healthy. After I got home, I had a phone call from the radiation center and they said that M. center found out that my insurance won't cover the radiation treatments either. That doesn't seem to make sense since someone from our insurance told Larry that they did. I called M. center and talked to their insurance lady and she said she talked to them for over 30 minutes and it will not be covered.So, here I am not feeling well after the colonoscopy, calling up the insurance company to see what is going on. I talked to the lady and she talked to her supervisor and they couldn't find any radiation center in this state. What is the deal!!!!! They found onocologist doctors so I called one in another city where my sister lives--a big city. She said she will call me back tomorrow. I was in tears by the time I got off the phone. Then I looked up my insurance's website to see what I could find, sure enough, no radiation center is covered. The doctores are. That could be helpful but it costs lots of dollars to do another set up which means I would have to pay. Maybe I better just stay here and pay it out. It costs about $374 a day for radiation then some days I have an x ray and the dr bill is skyhigh!!! Wish I could just quit this. But I must trust God in this....I wonder why they won't pay for radiation treatments. I am so confused.....and frustrated. Okay, I need to take a deep breath and put this aside and just concentrate on feeling better from this colonscopy. I need rest. Not sure now whether to go in for radiation tomorrow or not. I am home alone for my boys went to play in a basketball game and Larry went to work to make up for he missed this morning. it is quiet and peaceful here.......Please pray for me in this situation and that I can have that peace once again.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God , which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Radiation day 15

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Looks like I will be living in the town where my mom lives to finish up my radiaiton treatments. I will go again tomorrow to see the radiation dr. here and have a treatment but they should be able to get in touch with the radiation center in M. by tomorrow. They tried today but no one answered so they left a message. They called my insurance twice to see if they would pay anyway but insurance is being stubborn and said no. I called to be sure they would pay for another set up (measuring where the rays will go, etc) and they said yes. I don't know when I'll go. I am glad my mom lives there and is willing to take my sons and I in for 3 weeks or so. It will be a hardship but will work out. I will enjoy getting to see my mom though and spending time with her and friends that I know there.

Tomorrow I am having a colonoscopy just because I am 50 years old and the dr. thinks I should have it done. So, today I am taking the laxative preps. Yuck. So far, it's not been too bad drinking the stuff and my bottom isn't too sore but the evening has just begun!!! lol. My husband had this done last winter and I remember that it's not a fun procedure. I hope I don't get nauseated from the medication they give to make you sleepy. My stomach is sensitive to anesthesia so we'll see how I do with the meds they give me in the morning. I will have a radiation treatment and see the radiation onocologist before going to the hospital. Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 56:3-4 When I am afraid I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraidl. What can mortal man do to me?

radiation day 14

Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

We received some bad news yesterday. We found out that the radiation center is not part of the hospital system we thought they were under. They rent space from them. So, we then found out that they are not on our insurance plan. This is the only radiation center in our town. The radiation center called our insurance to see if the dr. is on the plan (no) and to tell them this is the only radiation center in a 100 mile radius. It didn't matter to the insurance company. Well, we believe we are owing them about $7000 now. Why weren't we told in the beginning that they were not part of the hospital system or why didn't we find out for sure that the radiation treatments were being covered. You would thought i would have learned from my mistake with the neulasta shots but no, guess I didn't learn well enough. Larry is wanting me to move in with my mom for a few weeks and have radiation in her town for that center is covered by our plan. But, we are about to reach the maximum of out of pocket expensese not covered under the plan. I need to call today to see what happens when we reach the maximum--will they pay 100 percent? If so, then no reason to change. If not, then I might be moving for a few weeks. Yikes. Not something I want to do. The radiation center told my husband that they would have to take the set up x-rays again if we move to another place. Of course, we've not talked to the center in the town where my mom lives. She lives close enough (2 hours away) that we can come home on weekends. I do believe God provides, for our stock broker called the other day to say we should sell this stock that we own and so we did and it will be enough to cover the medical expenses that have accumulated so far but not enough to pay for the rest of the treatments--it is expensive. I had hoped to buy a new car--a smaller one --to save on gas since I have a big car. Pray that we will make the right decision. Living away from home will be hard but luckily I do homeschool so the boys will come with me. However, they will miss going to their activities.

Seems funny but my breast sometimes look pink then at other times it doesn't. Maybe the aloe vera gel is the cause. It hurts too at times but not all the time. Thanks for your prayers.

I Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Radiation day 13

Psalm 46:1-2 God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear through teh earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.

Just a quick note for it's getting late and I am tired. My breast is definitely getting pinker and
more sensitive. For most of the day it's okay until I put on the aloe vera gel and then my nipple stings for about 10 minutes. Yikes. Not fun. I had a busy day and was in town most of the day but I did put the gel on once while in town. I really should try to put it on more often now that it is getting pink. A big problem I am having is that I find myself standing or walking stooped over. Not sure when that started or why but I keep having to tell myself to stand up straight. I am feeling like I am older than I am. Not good. The bottom of my feet hurt too. I feel like I'm falling apart physically....lol. Let's pray that it gets better. Thanks for keeping up with my blog--you must care and I appreciate that. Oh, I will be helping my daughter move into a different apartment tomorrow so I am praying that I won't hurt my back or anything. Have a great day.

Matthew 11:28 Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.

Radiation day 12

Psalm 9:18 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you , Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Yesterday the cancer center called to say that the radiation machine had broken down so I couldn't go in the morning at my usual time. The bad thing was that I had to go in anyway to get my coumadin levels checked. I already had canceled that appt. once so really needed to go in. Larry had taken his truck to the Ford house since there was something they had a recall on. I had to pick him up so had to make a trip into town anyway. Then the cancer center called right after lunch to see if I could come in this afternoon since the machine was fixed so I went in at 3:50. They were busy since they were trying to work the morning people in along with the afternoon people but they were in a good mood. My breast area is slightly pink today and sometimes it feels funny. I can't really describe it but it's not a burning sensation. I am putting the aloe vera gel on but didn't put any on this morning since I didn't know when they might call me. You can't put it on 4 hours prior to getting radiation treatments. I am really tired today and tried to nap but really couldn't do it. Will go to bed after I write this so I can get some good rest. My coumadin levels were too high which means my blood is thinner than it needs to be but I am handling it okay. My kitten has scratched me but I really don't bleed from it more than usual. They were hoping I could start getting my blood checks once a month but since it was too high, I have to come back in 2 weeks. Too bad. Luckily when the nurse was scheduling my next appt. she said I was to see the onocologist on the 24th but I said no, I'm to see him on the 30th but it was in the computer that the appt. had been changed after I last saw him. I didn't change it so since his office is in the same building and on the same floor, I just went to the office and asked about it. They couldn't figure out how or why it was changed so now it's back to the 30th. Whew, that would have been a mess up if the coumadin nurse hadn't said anything. The Lord works in interesting ways. :) Well, thanks for your prayers. I have a busy day tomorrow so hopefully I won't be too tired. Pray that I have the energy I need. Thanks. Love you all......

II Corinthians 12:9 My grace is suffcient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Radiation day 11 plus dr. visit

I Chronicles 16:11 Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.

Each day brings me closer to the end of radiaton!!! Of course, I still have several weeks to go but the end will be here before I know it. Tuesdays are doctor days so they weigh me and took an x-ray too. I saw the radiation dr. and he said all is looking well. He reminded me that I will get redness. I asked when that might start occurring since I've not experienced any redness yet. He said I should start seeing it maybe next week. I am faithfully using the aloe vera get but usually twice a day and not 3 times like I had planned. I just forget in the middle of the day. I'm sure if I'm feeling some burning, I will be wanting to put it on. lol.

Some of you might be wondering if my hair is growing back yet. Last month I had some hair growth on the top of my head but it hasn't changed since. I had chemo and hoped it wouldn't come back out and it didn't but maybe it kept it from growing. I thought by now it would start growing again. I noticed a few days ago that I did lose some hair on my arms for I had quite hairy arms (blonde hairs so not too noticable). So, no hair growing on legs, underarms, eyebrows nor eyelids. However, I did have a hair grow on my chin---oh, no, that is not where I want hairs to grow. lol. I plucked that one right out!!! Oh, well....I'm sure that my hair will start growing soon. At least I am hoping.....

My brother-in-law was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few months ago and just found out that it is aggressive so he has to have surgery in Dec. I am praying that they will have the peace that comes from God as I have peace. Reminds me of my first few days of realizing I have cancer. It is never fun to find out you have cancer but God is good and will give them the strength to get through this as He has given me. Love you, my dear sister!!!! Pray for them too when you pray for me--Khristi and Jim!!! Thanks always for your dear prayers.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight!!!

radiation day 10

Hebrews 4:15-16 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Went in today for my 10th radiation treatment. I went a little early and they were just sitting around waiting....so I got in and out really quick. I was to be there at 9am and I was out at 9:02!! I had a new tech or she said she is a therapist (they seem to call themselves all kinds of different names) named Amy. She was really nice too. Kim was quite talkative and very pleasant so it all went well. So far, no redness. It almost felt like I could feel some 'burning' but who knows.....I keep putting on the aloe vera gel.

I had a nice but busy weekend. I was very tired on Saturday. We went out of town (nearly 2 hour drive for us) for my boys basketball tournament. I slept on the way there and on the way home. Still was tired all that evening too. But on Sunday, I felt better. We (the whole family) volunteered at a HEB Feast of Sharing Dinner (free thanksgiving dinner for the community). It was enjoyable and I didn't feel tired at all. Nice to know that I can be in large crowds again and not have to worry so much about getting some disease. However, I am hoping I don't get sick at all for it's not fun to be sick. lol. I don't feel too tired today either so I've been doing some housework. I am so behind!!!Thanks for your prayers. They do mean so much to me. Love you..

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Radiation day 9 plus dr's visit

Psalm 91:1-2 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadows of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.

Today was a busy day medical wise....first, I went to see my onocologist. My blood count is all normal for the first time --red blood count was better than when I first started chemo. Praise God!!! I found out that I will be taking the oral anti-estrogen (hormonal) medication right after I finish radiation. I have read about the side effects of that medication so not looking forward to taking it especially right before Christmas but I will be taking it for 5 years so might as well get used to it. I still have to see the doctor a couple more times when it's time to take Herceptin but then it will go to every other month. I won't be getting the blood work in between my appointments but only the day before. Yea!!! it's a wonder my vein has held up all these months. Because of my blood clot, they should really use only my left arm and so they use the same vein each time. It is so nice to know that things are settling down. After my doctor's appt., I rushed downstairs to radiation and got my treatment then went to the chemo clinic. Luckily,all of this was in the same building. I had Herceptin and they were able to infuse it in one hour. So far, radiaiton is going fine and I'm not showing any redness. I thought it might be turning some red yesterday but there wasn't any redness today. The PA did tell me that Herceptin will probably give me fatigue, otherwise not any other side effects. I was really tired today so when I got home, I quickly did a little laundry and spelling with Brandon then I laid down to take a nap while they ate lunch. The nap helped me get through the rest of the day but I'm already tired again and it's only 8 pm. I think the combination of the radiation and Herceptin is getting to me. I hate feeling tired but I know it is part of this path I have to cover. It won't last forever which is what I have to keep telling myself.

Last night I went to the Survivor Sister meeting. My surgeon (and friend) was the guest speaker. I found out all kinds of information that I didn't know. One is that there is no test to say that you are cured from breast cancer. There are some cancers like colon cancer that after 5 years, they say you are cured but that doesn't work for breast cancer. Breast cancer can come back anytime even like 18 years later. Of course as the years go by without reoccurrence of cancer, the lesser chance it will come back but you just never know. That means women that had breast cancer have to be diligent to be on their guard such as doing self breast examinations and getting mammograms. I have people asking me if I am cured or when will I have tests to find out if I my cancer is gone. I can say that at this moment my cancer is gone but I can never say I am cured. But, this is not a worry for me. I have put my life in God's hands and will trust Him completely. Whatever He wills for me, I will accept. I know He loves me and will be with me no matter what. Thanks for your prayers.

Isaiah 4:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

radiation day 7

Psalm 89:1 I will sing of the Lord's great love forever, with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.

Today went better at radiaiton. I got there in plenty of time but they were ready anyway for me. Maybe they didn't have a patient in the time slot right before me. I was in and out of there within 10 minutes!!!! Wow, so fast. Still have no redness. I'm not too tired either so having a good day. Tomorrow I get labwork to see how my blood count is doing then I see the onocologist on Friday.

Remember my trip to DC? Well, the group that sent me there asked if I would write an opinion letter for my newspaper. They gave me a template to follow. I wrote out my story and then inserted the information about why I was in DC, etc. I am to send it to this group and they will edit it and then tell me what to do next. One lady had her article published in Newsweek magazine. Wow!!! Another step of maybe helping others and doing something that I've not done before. God sure is stretching me to do things I never thought I would do. lol. I was nice and didn't add the part of my first doctor refusing to let me have the MRI. No need to stir up a hornets nest in this town. The goal here is to encourage congress to preserve access to medical imaging tests.

Yesterday I received my last package from my chemoangel, Lisa. Thanks, Lisa. It was a great package but I know it's an end (a good end) to an era in my journey. She promises to stay in contact and I will love to stay in contact with her too. She was an 'angel' during my chemo treatments--always lifting my spirtits. My other chemoangel was a great lifter upper too. Thanks, Ann Marie. Thanks all to who pray for me. I sure need it to complete this journey that I am taking. Love you all.

Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.

Radiation day 6

Psalm 4:1 Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress, be merciful to me and hear my prayer.

I was emotional today or something for I was quite sensitive and had my feelings hurt by my 'favorite' nurse at radiation. I got there just about 2 minutes before I was to be there and she told me that I needed to get there a little earlier to be sure I have time to get dressed and ready to go at my appointed time. I have always been ready and waiting on them but this is the first time they were ready for me as soon as I was 'dressed' in my shirt gown. I don't know why that hurt my feelings but it did. As I was lying down on the table getting zapped by those radiation rays, a couple of tears rolled down my cheeks and I couldn't even wiped them away since my arms are up above my head and I can't move. I usually don't 'cry' at something like that even if my feelings get hurt. Oh, well.....I was quite tired this morning so maybe that was part of it. Larry hasn't set his clock back so he forgot and set his alarm to go off at 4 am instead of 5 am so it woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep. ( I took a little morning nap today)

Today at radiation, it was doctor day. My doctor assured me that I will get burnt eventually. Oh, great......I keep praying and hoping that I won't get burned. lol. He said that I will probably burned a little higher too especially since it has probably been exposed to sun before. I didn't realize I might get burned that high up. So far, no redness.....yea!!!! He also said that I will be taking 33 radiaiton treatments. Okay, 27 more days. After I put on the aloe vera gel at bedtime, my nightgown gets stuck to my skin. That won't be good if I am burned. Will have to be sure I give it time to dry before putting on my nightgown.

Last night I went to a ladies group that just started. It's a time for prayer, singing, and reading scripture. I didn't really know anyone there but guess it's a good way to meet new people. The lady leading it knows who I am and her daughter works for my onocologist so I see her all the time. Anyway, she asked me to share what's going on in my life and where I am in my cancer treatment. We had prayed via telephone earlier for another lady who has breast cancer. As I shared with these ladies, I realized that God has blessed me by me having cancer. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but I do feel blessed. God works through whatever situation we go through and makes it into a good, blessed situation. I have drawn closer to Him, to others, and have been blessed by people I wouldn't have dreamed would be there for me. These ladies gathered around me to pray for me by laying there hands on me and praying. It was so sweet.

Today I visited with my friend that had cancer 3 years ago so I asked her what it was like for her when she completed her treatment. I wanted to compare her experience to what I read in the book I have been reading. Of course, she is still on treatment for she's on oral medication for 5 years and that medication has side effects so still has to deal with that. I will be taking oral medication too for 5 years but a different one than she is taking. But when done with radiation, she felt like celebrating and glad that was behind her. Of course, it takes time to recover. People think that as soon as treatments are done that you will be feeling like yourself before cancer but it takes months to really recover completely. So, my friends who know me, don't expect me to be the same as before. However, I really haven't stopped doing too much--just here and there I might not have done things so I don't think I will have trouble getting back to normal but of course, I'm not done with radiation either so maybe it will take time to recover from that. We'll take one day at a time, okay!!!! :) Thanks for your prayers and love.....

John 14:1 Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.

radiation day 5

Psalm 106:1 Praise the Lord. give thanks to the Lord for He is good; his love endures forever.

I went today for my 5th radiation treatment. So far, no redness or anything out of the ordinary. I put on the aloe vera gel as soon as I got home. This week will be so much better schedule wise for it is more consistent. I did go in at 8:3o am today but the rest of the week I am to go at 9 am except on Thursday which will be at 2:5o since I am already in town on Thursday afternoons.

I was reading on the book "After Breast Cancer" from the beginning and it was talking about how many women find it difficult to adjust after treatments are done. I've never thought about it for I am ready to be done and go on with life. So, I'm glad to be able to read and find out these things so I can prepare myself. The author apparently had facilitated a support group for womnen going through chemo then ladies approached her to have support group for women after they were done with treatment so she has alot of knowledge from talking to women in that group. My time after treatment will not end so abruptly as some of these women since after radiation, I will still be taking Herceptin but only every 3 weeks. Of course, when that ends, then I guess that will be my end of treatment. However, many things she talks about like hair growing, etc. will happen before August. Somehow I feel that I will not be struggling when that time comes for I've been at peace through all of this and just having God guide me and close to me. I will have to ask some of the ladies I know who have gone through cancer to see how they handled that time in their life. During this whole journey, I just take one phase at time: first the surgery time, then chemo, and now radiation. I am glad I found this book, though, for it's opening my eyes to the next phase I'll be in. Most cancer books don't talk much about what happens after your treatments are done. Well, thanks again for your prayers and love....

Psalm 55:22 Cast all your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.