wig

I Chronicle 16:10-11 Glory in His Holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rerjoice. Look to the Lord and his strength, seek his face always.

My hair is really starting to grow--blonde looking but not curly. I acutally shaved my legs the other day--was the first time in months. It felt good, hard to imagine since I hate shaving. lol. I went into town to go shopping today and decided to wear another wig that I got back in May from the American Cancer society. It is very short--not me at all but I wore it. My son took a picture which I will put on this post. A friend said she liked it and my daughter, wasn't too sure about it--"interesting hairstyle". In other words....you are crazy!!! lol. Oh, well.....who knows, maybe I will continue to wear it. I got a terrible headache while in town which is unusual for me and it went away after i took my wig off. Wonder if there is a connection... I told you that I am trying to lose weight by using my Wii Fit Plus. I have lost almost 5 pounds in 2 days. Wow, lost all my Christmas weight. I hope I can continue to lose the pounds. My skin at the radiated site is looking awful--like an alligator--lol. It is dry and peeling but thick and just so rough feeling. Not sure if the aloe vera gel is helping but I am trying to apply it often. Still hurts to sleep on my side but it is getting some better.

I am looking forward to the new year. I am praying that 2010 is a wonderful year and I am wishing each of you a happy , happy new year!!! Thanks for being interested in my life and my journey through cancer. Some of you I know but there are others that I don't know and yet, you continue to check up on me and I hope you are praying for me and growing closer to God as I am. Love you all....

Galatians 6:2a Carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Great news on finances

Psalm 118: 28-29 You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lored, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Great news!!!! I went to the cancer center here in my town to talk about my bill. In case you don't know, I took about 15 treatments here in my town and realized that the center is not part of my insurance's plan so they paid very little. I went to San Antonio when I discovered that my insurance wasn't paying for I should be 100% covered if the center I go to is in the plan. That means that I shouldn't be paying anything except co-pays for doctor visits. So. since I had 15 treatments, my bill was getting quite high--thousands of dollars. I went to see if I could pay a lesser amount for no one had told me that they were not part of the hospital system that their building is in--they just rent the building space. That is why I didn't check to see about my insurance for they are in the same building as my doctors and chemo clinic, so I thought they were part of the same system. Anyway, at this moment, the bill for the center was up to $10,000 with more to come and I asked if I could give just $5000 and call it good and they discussed it and said yes!!!!! My sweet mom had given me a $5000 check to help with the bill so I gave that to them. The business director came out to see me and thanked me for wanting to settle my bill. I was surprised that he did that but maybe they are happy not to have to "come after me to pay" or maybe something else,....who knows but anyway, they were nice about it all. I then asked about the doctor's bill. They went to talk to the doctor and he decided to charge me medicare rate and my insurance paid even more than medicare would have so I don't owe a penny there!!! God is so good. Oh, how I prayed today---all day-- that their hearts would be softened and understanding. Thanks for your prayers!!!! God does hear!!!

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs accordking to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Tuesday

I Samuel 3:18 He is the Lord, let him do what is good in his eyes.

The year 2009 is nearly at the end. This has not been the best year for me nor for my family. We had 3 family memebers with cancer this past year. But, God is so good, for in a way, this has been a good year. I have grown closer to God and have learned to trust Him completely. I've been reading a devotional book that was given to me by Valerie G. and it talks alot about suffering and how God uses it for our good; to make ua a better person. We all have to suffer at some time or another and we need to remember that it is in our best interest for we become stronger and a better person if we allow God to use it for His purpose. KK, you have suffered quite a bit too with the loss of a child and I know God is using this time in your life too to make you into a stronger and better person. Praying for you.

Ouch, my kitten just jumped on my chest and wants to sleep there but oh, it's so tender so had to move him. It is still red and peeling. The worse spot, on the bottom area almost looks like a scab but I've not had any bleeding. Last night I woke up with my nightgown stuck to my chest and it wouldn't peel off easily so waiting until morning so I could wet the gown to get it unstuck. I wonder when this will clear up. The first area that was radiated didn't go through this much trouble but it didn't have the high dosage of radiation.

I am really in need of losing weight so yesterday I worked out with my Wii Fit Plus that I got for Christmas. In fact, the whole family had fun working out with it. I did it again this morning. I can't do all the exercises for it hurts to raise my left arm up high but I can do most and I should exercise that arm so the chest muscles doesn't get too stiff. Should do it again this afternoon and as soon as weather is dryer and not so cold, will start walking again with my neighbor. Thanks for all of your prayers. Love you all.....

Romans 5:3 We also rejoice in our suffereings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance, perserverance characther, and character hope.

Peeling

Jeremiah 32:26 I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I enjoyed being with my family and my mom. My son gave me a breast cancer ornament which is really cool and my mom gave me a pink jacket that says 'Celebrate life' with a breast cancer ribbon on it

By the way, when I described my radiated area, I described it wrong in the shape....it does look like an eggplant but I had it upside down. The narrow part is nearer the nipple whereas the bottom part is at the top area. Anyway, the skin is peeling and it looks grey (the peeling skin). Yuck. And the skin underneath is raw looking....not oozing but looks like it could anytime. There is no way I can wear a bra---hurts too much. However, I was able to sleep all night in my bed. Pain wasn't too bad so was able to stay in my bed. I am so ready for this burn to completely heal. It's hard to even raise my left arm up all the way for it causes pain but I just keep going as best as i can. It's going to be okay. Now, about my wig....I am wearing a headband to cover up the bangs, at least part of it. I don't think you can tell much unless you really look at it. I don't particular like the way I have to wear the headband but at least I can wear the wig. My hair is growing....my eyebrows are really growing and I had to shave hair off my chin!!! lol. won't be long when I won't need the wig.

Psalm 3:5-6 I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.

Christmas Eve incident

Merry Christmas!!!!

Just a quick note!! Last night I ruined my wig!!! Yes, I singed it by taking a pie out of the oven for my stepmom at my dad's house. We were celebrating Christmas Eve with them. Sarah said my hair was messed up but I thought it was just caused by the wind--it was a windy day. But when looking in the mirror, I noticed it looked strange and then it dawned on me,....it's melted some. It looks awful. It's the bangs.....so, now what am I going to do. I still need to wear a wig. It cost me $70!!! I have some free ones but I really don't like them. I was close to tears. Early this morning while still half asleep, I was thinking about the wig. I never wear it at home when cooking so never had a problem with taking things out of the oven. It never occured to me that I could ruin my wig that way. I will admit that I was slightly upset with God for letting that happen---as if it was his fault. I rarely get upset with Him but I was thinking that He's not going to repair it so why.......why, did it happen; after all I was helping out, being nice. Silly me...it's just a wig. Sarah thinks she can fix it since she works with wigs in the theatre but I don't see how anything can be done to fix it.....oh, well......I'm not going to let it ruin my Christmas ...after all I will just wear my Santa's hat. :) Merry Christmas!!! Love you....

Luke 2:10-11 I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord!!!

Chrstmas Eve

Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!! It surprises me that I am still having pain and that it seems worse when I lie down to sleep. I can't lie on my side for the pain is really bad. I hate sleeping on my back so about 1:30 am, I got up to sleep in the recliner which helped. I will try to describe what my radiated area looks like. It is shaped like an eggplant with the narrow part high up between the breasts (like in the sternum area) and the bottom part goes toward the nipple but not that far down. The bottom part on the left side is where the worse burn is located--almost blistered but not quite. So, when trying to sleep on my side, that area gets scrunched up and hurts. When I put on a bra, it lifts the breasts and hurts that area too. Ouch....I know that this pain will subside. It also feels dry and is trying to peel in some areas. I put on that aloe vera gel quite frequently. The bad thing about the aloe vera gel is that it is sticky so my clothes gets stuck on the area and hurts to peel it off. I'm always afraid that skin will peel off but it never does. lol. Some of the scar from the lumpectomy is quite red from the radiation and it's tender to touch. Maybe my description helps you to understand somewhat where the pain is and how it looks. I feel so old at times for I get so stiff after sleeping or sitting for awhile. Hard to move around. I don't know if that is from any medication or what. That is a side effect from the pill I will be taking starting in Feb. but I haven't had it yet. But all in all, I am doing pretty well. I saw a lady at the bank yesterday (she works there) that I have known for years and she thought my wig was really my hair and that I had just dyed it or something. She didn't realize I had cancer and she said I look pretty good. Yes, you can't really tell that I've been through cancer treatments. God has been so good to me. Well, enjoy your Christmas and remember that Jesus is the reason we celebrate Christmas. He was born to save us--he suffered for us. He understands all about suffering--what a great Savior. Thanks for your prayers.

I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.

Wig

Deuteronomy 33:27a The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are teh everlasting arms....

Wigs need cleaning too like hair but not as often. Well, I've not washed my wig in a long time for I need a good day at home where I don't need to wear my wig. It takes a long time for a wig to dry for you can't use any heat--no blow dryer. I finally washed my wig on Monday night for I knew it needed a good cleaning. It didn't look dirty but just seemed dry and , well, not sure how to explain it but I just knew it needed something. I washed it with regular shampoo and after the water emptied out of my bathroom sink, there was lots of dirt left behind. I didn't realize it was that dirty!!!!! It looks better now and it is finally dried so I can wear it today. I will be so happy not to wear a wig again. My hair is so slow in growing back. It is a daily reminder too of my 'cancer situation'. Last night I wore my Santa hat when company came over for dinner. The man questioned on where my hair was--wasn't sure that my hair was a wig. I thought he knew. I hope he wasn't uncomfortable but I don't think so. He used to work with a woman who wore hats to work, never wore a wig.

My radiated area is still hurting. The time it bothers me the most is at bedtime. I have a hard time getting comfortable. You would have thought that the pain would have subsided by now but no, it's still there. Some of the redness is lessening but there are areas that is still quite red. As I type this, my kitten is sitting on my chest where it hurts but he is so little and light that he really doesn't make it hurt more. lol. Hope you are all ready for Christmas. I am done--now,it's time to clean the house and just enjoy time with my boys and husband. Merry Christmas to each of you. I am so thankful that I am here to enjoy Christmas. When you have cancer, you see things differently. I am not taking my life for granted but am feeling blessed to be here. Thanks again for your prayers. Love you all.....

I Chronicles 16:8-9 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.

Onocologist visit and Herceptin infusion

I Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.

Saw the onocologist today. He said that my cancer markers were good...in other words, no signs of cancer. Yippee!!!! I told him that the doctor in San Antonio saw a shadow on the cat scan and was concerned. He said we'll do another cat scan sometime. He decided not to start the Arimidex (anti-estrogen medication) now so that I can have a break!!! Will start it in Feb. when I see him next (Feb. 1). I am to have a echocardiogram (checking my heart) on Jan. 15 to be sure the Herceptin hasn't caused any heart damage. I had Herceptin today and it infused without any problems. My port is doing well!!! I also had my coumadin level checked and it was where it needed to be which makes it 2 times in a row that it is good so I don't have to go back for a month--the first time. I usually go every 2 or 3 weeks. So, today was good news day!!! So nice before Christmas. I finished reading the book "After breast Cancer". It was a good book and so helpful. My radiated area still bothers me and looks an angry red but no blisters. It is almost itchy too. Can't scratch it!!! Wearing a bra definitely bothers me so I am actually going out this evening without one---yikes. I have my support undershirt thing on which helps and will probably put on a jacket too. Just going to a store while my boys are at basketball practice. Thanks for your prayers---couldn't have made it without your prayers and support. Love you all......

I Chronicles 16:10-11 Glory in His Holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and His strength; seek his face always.

Sunday

Proverbs 23:18 There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

I received a DVD from a friend of my mom's a week or so ago but haven't watched it yet until today. This friend has breast cancer too. The DVD is called "Stepping into the Ring" and it is a testimony of Nicole Johnson who has breast cancer. She talks while in a boxing ring and she pretends to be boxing as she speaks. She talks about how she reacted when she received the news of having breaast cancer which she felt so angry and then the despair (an enemy as she calls it that attacks anyone going through any loss) she went through but then she found hope after she turned back to God. She heard a nurse read to a patient from Isaiah that says ' Your hope will not be cut off.'' Your breast might get cut off but hope doesn't get cut off". She talks about how we can have hope no matter what we are going through whether it's cancer, bad marriage, divorce, some other illness, loss of a child, or whatever. I loved what she said 'I have cancer but cancer doesn't have me." She goes on to say that we may have hair loss or breast loss but it can't have our heart nor our spirit." It was a short testimony but oh, so moving. This friend of my mom's sent a pair of small pink boxing gloves too. I will hang them up and it will remind me of hope and that cancer doesn't have my heart nor spirit!!!! I really feel so blessed not to have gone through the anger nor despair like she did. I did have moments of sadness and wondering why.... but never despair nor depression. I took hold of that hope in the very beginning. She does have humor too: such as saying "with breasts , they pleased my husband, fed my babies, and made my stomach look smaller. " 'Not to balance check books while on pain killers. " I tried to find the verse in Isaiah that she quoted by using the internet and I found it in Proverbs (I wrote it on top)..... Just wanted to share with you about this DVD. We all go through some kind of trial or tough times and we can all grab hold of hope in God and trust Him to carry us through these tough times. I believe in the power of prayers too and I do believe so much that prayer is what got me though my tough days. Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 9:18 But the needy will not always be forgotten, not the hopes of the afflicted ever perish,.

Saturday

James 1:3-4 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

It was so nice to get to unpack my suitcase totally and put it back into the attic!!! We will be staying home for Christmas so no packing for awhile. My radiated area has a small section that seems to be extra burned but I don't think it's blistered but maybe close...I have been puttng aloe vera gel on more frequently. I didn't wear my bra for most of the day but this evening I did since we went to a party. I am really tired this evening for I didn't sleep so well last night--not sure why...will go to bed earlier tonight.

On Monday, I get my coumadin level checked again plus see the onocologist and then get Herceptin--my IV medication. I probably will be starting the oral anti-estrogen medication soon for the dr. said that when I complete radiation that I will be started on Arimedix (not sure if that is correct spelling and too lazy to go look it up --lol) It has side effects but I am praying that it won't bother me too much. I have to take it for 5 years.

Today I wore a santa hat instead of my turban at home. lol. I thought it looked cute. My hair is growing--I can really see that it's coming along. It's not curly but it is blonde. My eyelashes are really growing back and I wore mascara top and bottom eyelashes today. Cool. I am so ready to look normal again. Will be glad too when I can wear any shirt I want so hopefully the radiated area starts to look more normal quickly. The doctor said it will not be normal as before but should be close.....Yikes, we'll have to see. Oh, well.....shouldn't be showing that part off anyway. lol. Well, have a great day. Love you all and thanks again for prayers.

Proverbs 24:10 If thou faint in the day of adversity, they strength is small.

Last radiation treatment

May this be a day when your heart lives in the beauty of God's love...abides in the strength of His joy...and rests in peace from above. "He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust. Psalm 91:4" (from a card)

I can't believe I am really done with radiation. It becomes a part of your life since you go practically every day and you get to know the people, etc but I am happy not to be going anymore. I will go back to see the doctor in San Antonio on Jan. 12. The techs were so sweet and gave me hugs. I do believe I am their youngest patient--where do the young ones go? All I ever saw were older and some very much older patients. I saw the doctor briefly today and he said I still could get blistered since he gave me a mega dose of radiation today. I am hurting--feels like a burn (well, lol, it is burned!!) I think it could be slightly swollen too for my bra left an imprint from where the edge of the bra was. I wanted to not wear a bra but since we were spending one night with a friend, i didn't get my big suitcase out and had only what i absolutely needed in a grocery bag and my support tank top thing was packed away. Tomorrow, I'll wear that instead of the bra.

When I went to my friend's last night, I tripped over their dog trying to get away from their puppy who was wanting to jump on me. I fell on their sidewalk and scraped up my knee and thumb and felt so foolish for falling. My friend who is actually not in good health herself was really concerned that I hurt my port but I wasn't hurt too bad. Silly me......but we had a great visit.

Today after radiation, we (the boys and I ) drove straight to our town and I had a chiropracter appt. My back has been hurting for several weekends. I needed an adjustment so hopefully, I will feel better now. I haven't been hurting very much at my sister's but I didn't do alot there either.

One of my friends who follows this blog gave me a gift today when we were at the boys basketball game (her husband is the coach--thanks Mrs. Coach) to celebrate my finishing radiaiton--how sweet!!! It's a pillow looking wall hanging that says "The Lord is my Strength and my Song Exodus 15:2" How sweet!!! It's blue and matches my house perfectly. It will remind me of how the Lord did give me strength to go through all that I've been through. I appreciate all of your prayers for without them, it would have been harder.

Thinking of you today---hope happy thoughts flutter around you today, bring you comfort and reasons to smile...

radiation day 32

Isaiah 40: 30-31 Even youth grow tired and weary, and young ment stumble and fall; but those who hop in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.



Only one more day of treatment!!!! The radiated area is hurting today like a burn--ouch. And where it was radiated previously; it is peeling like after a sunburn. I will be glad when this is over and my skin can return to semi-normal. They say it will not be totally normal like before but I'm sure it won't too bad.



My eyelashes are growing longer and I can see the lower lashes growing in too. Also, my legs are ready for shaving. I've not really shaved since June!!!! Time to get back to that routine!! lol. Now, only if my hair would grow more so I can quit wearing anything at home. It will be awhile before I will go without my wig. My boys don't think I'm ready to go without my turban at home--lol. I think I almost look my nephew's crewcut.



My brother-in-law came home today around lunch time. He is doing pretty well but you can tell he is tired and probably hurting some too. I'm sure he is happy to be home!!!



Psalm 134:2 Lift up your hands in the sanctuary and praise the Lord!!!

radiation day 31

Isaiah 40:28 The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

Only 2 more treatments!!!! I am so excited!!! It is interesting that the area where they are giving me the boost doses of radiation is really turning red whereas the other areas that was red is finally fading. The boost area is higher up so have to be so careful in what clothes I wear. I had to get blood work today. The lab tech wasn't bad but I've had better ones. It did hurt for a while after she took blood. After my treatment today, I went to visit my brother-in-law in the hospital since I drive right by it. He is doing pretty well but decided to stay an extra night to get rest, etc. He will come home tomorrow. I took my boys and his boys there this evening on our way downtown to the river walk. He was appreciative of the visit and we made it short so as not to wear him out plus we wanted to get downtown. We had a great time there but it got misty so we got wet but not much. We took a tour of the river by a boat, then we walked through the river center mall then walked to the Alamo to see the downtown Christmas tree. All so pretty. This morning I went walking which was nice for I've not excercised except walking around a mall which isn't the best of exercise, lol.

I've been reading today on a book called "After Breast Cancer". I had read some of it before but now I am trying to finish it. It's a good book. Made me think about how I feel about my cancer. I am not worrying about it coming back. I am leaving all that into God's hands; besides, I feel that I am healed!!! The book talks about doing something to remember the anniversary of either when you were diagnosed, or when you had surgery, or finished treatments or something that you can recall the date and to think each year, ao you can say "well...another year has gone by since my cancer". I think I will remember the day I was diagnosed as my anniversary date--March 26.

Tomorrow I am going to visit a friend that lives one hour from my sister's house and stay there overnight. She is like an older sister to me. I've known her since 1983. She's a school teacher and has been really busy but she will have time tomorrow for us. I am excited about seeing her. I may not get a chance to write on my blog tomorrow since I am going there right after my treatment and I doubt she has wireless internet there for she's not a computer person. Thanks for your prayers.

Isaiah 40:29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

raadiation day 30

Psalm 57:2-3I cry out to God Most High to God who fulfills his puprpose for me. He sends from heaven and saves me.....

Wow!! Only 3 more days left!!! Someone mentioned that I should have a end of radiation party. this was suggested by a woman who had cancer 3 years ago. Ummmm....sounds fun. Not sure what to do though. Would love to get together with those in my town who have been following my blog...but not sure who all is doing that. You should comment and let me know exactly who you are...I have an idea who some of you may be---Sandy? Deja? Any others? :) My treatment really went fast today. I was in and out less than 15 minutes. One girl, has been there for every one of my treatments and we have gotten to know each other--she's probably in her mid 20's and is so sweet. Tomorrow I am to have lab work so have to call my doctor's office to have the lab work order faxed to the cancer center then they will give it to me to take to a lab in another hospital!! My, what I have to do to be sure insurance covers my bills!!! lol.

My sister's husband had his surgery today. It went fine but he's had problems with vomiting--probably from the anesthesia. I had that problem with each of my surgeries. He's had some pain too but was able to get pain medication. He should come home tomorrow. I am hoping to take my boys downtown to the river walk to look at lights. My oldest nephew wants to come too. It's suppose to rain so I'm praying that it won't . It was to rain today but didn't. It is cold but we can bundle up and have some fun. Thanks again for your prayers. Love you all.....

Psalm 14:19 A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.

radiation day 29

Psalm 18:16, 19 He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Went back to San Antonio today--had safe trip but was so sleepy for some reason. Mondays are doctor visit days and weigh in day. My weight was down--amazing since it's Christmas time and I eat extra goodies at this time. lol. I had my treatment before seeing the doctor and they did the same kind of treatment as last week. Then I saw the doctor. He said that I would be done on Thursday which is a day earlier than I expected. I was so excited. Then he wanted to see how my skin was looking. The nurse and doctor was amazed that I was some red but no blisters. He said that many people get blisters like in a 2nd degree burns but I've not have that at all--because of prayers!!!! I am to come back Jan. 12 for a followup visit then just be followed by my onocologist. He was concerned about that shadowy area he saw on the CT Scan for he believes that the surgery didn't get all of the cancer. I don't know about that for on the pathology report it said that the margins around the cancer was clear which indicates that the cancer was all taken out. I'm not going to worry about it. God is in control. I went to the grocery store after my treament and while there, my doctor called. He said that after looking at my chart again and knowing that my skin is looking well, he had decided to do one more treatment--an extra mega dose!!! Oh, phooey, that means I am done on Friday now but that is okay since I expected that anyway.

My brother-in-law is having his prostate surgery tomorrow am. Pray for him. He seems to be in good spirits. He is taking a colon prep today which is not fun. I know since I did that just last month for my colonoscopy. I am glad I can be here to help out with their boys and anything else like send out emails. We had a good discussion this evening about having cancer. He has a great attitude too and is encouraing all men to have the PSA test. His high PSA was discovered when he went for a physical to be a boy scout leader who goes camping.

I looked at my insurance again and have decided that my insurance is paying for the doctor and clinic here. My husband just didn't understand how to read it. So, I was happy to find out that insurance is paying. Thanks for all your prayers and love.....

Psalm 118:1 Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love endures forever.

Sunday am

Isaiah 46:4 I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you.; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

My radiation treatment went well on Friday and it was early so was able to come home early. I have a weird spot on my breast from the radiation. It is sorta of white while everything else is reddish-brown around it. Almost like the skin peeled off but it's not. Weird. Doesn't hurt. But the whole breast sometimes feels bruised-like but at least it doesn't feel like a burn. I am hoping that next week is my last week. We got a notice from the insurance and they didn't pay 100% on the doctor's bill for the first day so not sure what is up with that. I need to check it out. Makes me frustated since that is why I am having treatments in San Antonio; to have 100% coverage. Argh.....

Pray for my brother-in-law...he has prostate cancer and is having his surgery on Tuesday. He seems to be doing okay but I hope to have a better talk with him tomorrow about it. We might have to stay in a different place after he gets home from surgery which I understand him being uncomfortable with us there. It's a wait and see thing right now. A friend who lives further south wants us to come and spend Thursday night with her...maybe....she's a teacher and is busy at this time of year. I hope we do get to see her.

I've been having problems with my back lately and is really bothering me this weekend. I have to sit down and rest quite a bit which is frustrating when I have so many things to do. I have scoliosis so have dealt with back pain all my adult life. I tried to get in to see the chiropracter for they used to be open on Saturdays but not any more. I will try to get an appt. for Friday when I come back home next week. I received a sweet package from a friend of my mother's (I don't even know the lady). She had breast cancer a year ago and so understands what I am going through. She sent a DVD with little pink boxing gloves (small) which I am assuming it goes along with the DVD. I've not watched it yet but I'm thinking it has to to do with breast cancer. Well, thanks again so much for your prayers and faithfulness in keeping up with my blog. The end of radiation is near and it is exciting to know that this phase of my treatment is nearly over. !!!! yea!!!!

Isaiah 49:13 ...for the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

radiation day 27

Isaiah 49:13 Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains. For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones!!

I noticed something today---my eyelashes are growing back in. I asked my sister if she could see them and she said she had also noticed that they are coming in but she thinks they are still too stubby to start wearing mascara again. She thinks my eyelashes are growing back in too. I also noticed hair on my legs!!!! Can you ever imagine being excited about hair growing on your legs. lol. If it was summer, I would want to be shaving but it's not really alot of hair and so blonde looking. Okay, for the top of my head, maybe it's growing some but so slow....... I think my wig is getting yucky looking--probably needs a good washing. It takes a long time to dry so I've not washed it lately. You can't use any heat so no blow dryers. My sister and I ate lunch at Olive Garden today and some elderly woman walked by our table and said "Your hair is so shiny. I like it. ". I just smiled and said thanks.

Tomorrow I will be going back home!!!! Yea!!! My appointment is at 8:45 am so we will be leaving early. I did lots of Christmas shopping today with my sister and am almost done. That will save me some time this weekend in not having to shop for gifts. Thanks for your prayers. Pray for safe travel for us. It is suppose to be raining here in San Antonio so slick roads.

Isaiah 4:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

radiaton day 26

Psalm 103:1-3 Praise The Lord, O my soul, all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.

I had a different tech today that I've seen around but never with me. She was curious to know how red I was and asked the other tech if I was red and she said that yes, but was doing pretty good, that it wasn't very bad. Ummm, I guess many others have it really bad...maybe it's because of the aloe vera gel that I keep using. Some of the redness is sorta of turning a light brownish color--almost like a tan but a weirder brown. Oh, well..... I had to buy more aloe vera gel. Went to Target yesterday but they only carried the green kind and I am to use only the clear kind. Found some at Walmart today. I asked for an earlier time for Friday so I will be going in at 9 am--yea. That means I can get home earlier. We plan to decorate our Christmas tree Friday evening so this will give me time to get home and put the tree up and put the lights on. I can't remember ever putting my tree up so late--usually it gets done quite early. I'm not there to enjoy it anyway. My sister has her tree up so that is nice.

Today my breast felt sore again but doesn't really hurt. I want you to know that having radiation isn't really that bad. I talked to a friend today and she thought that it might be making me sick like chemo does. She was amazed how well I sounded--I really feel great. I hope to be seeing this friend, Susan, next week for she lives south of here but not far.

I visited the house that we will probably stay in for a night or two next week when my brother-in-law comes home from his surgery. It has a nice kitchen but no couch for the living area or really any chairs except the kind you have in a Sunday classroom with those big tables. It has a bed and the boys will have to sleep on cots but they are doing that here at my sister's too. Probably no computer access either for me....:(. I am trying to plan activities for us to do so that we won't get too bored there. There is a DVD player with TV there on a rolling cart so hopefully it will stay. That would be helpful. It's just for a night or two. The church is nice to let us use it so no complaining here. God does provide. Thanks again for your prayers.

Psalm 145:17-19 The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving towards all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires on those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.

radiation day 25

Psalm 73:25-26 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desirre besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

It was so nice today for they got me in and out within 15 minutes--a record for them with me!!! My left breast is starting to hurt or at least bother me. It feels like it's heavy and bruised. I've not been wearing a bra but a support thing that looks like a spaghetti strap shirt. I don't know if it's just from getting radiation or from not wearing a bra or both. Anyway, we are about to go shopping so I did put on a bra. The nurse didn't say I couldn't wear a bra but try not to wear it around the house, so I put one on that doesn't have the wire support. The nurse and tech both said that I shouldn't wear the wire kind. I am also feeling really tired this afternoon . At least my sister will be the one driving when we go shopping. My boys wanted to see the huge bass pro shop and my sister says it is pretty neat. One of my boys is planning on doing Christmas shopping too. I might get some done too but I'm almost all done anyway. My oldest nephew is coming along too so we are waiting for him to get out of school. The youngest nephew has an out of town basketball game and as you can tell, we are not going to it. Sorry,.....Michael. He understands. My sister today went to her church today for prayer group and she asked about us using one of the houses that the church owns. They said it will work out; one group is suppose to use it but my sister is going to find out if they are canceling thier group next week. The bad thing is that there is no TV so it could be quite boring for my boys but maybe we can watch a movie on my computer or go somewhere. There is still another place we could stay so we will check that one out too. I wanted to let you know that when the radiation machine is going off, I can hear the sound and while it is doing it, I pray :"Please kill all the cancer cells" over and over until the machine turns off,. It takes about 25-30 seconds!!! Well, thanks for your prayers and love....

Psalm 86 1-2 Hear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy . Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God; save your servant who trusts in you.

radiation day 24

Psalm 69:30 I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.

Before going back to San Antonio today, I had to get my blood checked for the coumadin level. Yea, the level was where it is suppose to be. So, no changes on my dosages. We finally left town after running several small errands. It was foggy for about 1 1/2 hours then finally the fog lifted but in San Antonio, it is misting. I went for my radiation treatment, praying that a plan was made and that I would get a treatment. Sure, enough...a plan was made. They are now giving my radiation straight forward. All my other treatments have been from the sides in a diagonal direction. Also, the machine was really close to my skin so no more use of the bolus. It is a boost dose which means a higher level of radiation was given. I asked how many days I had left and the tech told me 9 more days. I don't know if that included today's treatment (I asked before I got the treatment) or not. Even if it means I have 9 more after today's treatment, I will finish when I thought I would; Dec. 18. But she said I might have to come back for a reassessment. Right now, I will be staying at a different place than my sister's for the last 2-3 days since my brother-in-law is having surgery and would be uncomfortable with us here. I understand that. There are 2 choices so my sister and I will check those out this week. One is at a friend's of my sister who has a mother-in-law suite with own kitchen and living area but it is a little further away from the medical center (a very nice home for my sister went there this past weekend for a party) and the other place is a house owned by her church but it is used for other things but may not be busy due to Christmas season. She will check it out tomorrow. Thanks for your prayers--they sure worked!!!

Psalm 73:28 But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.

radiation day 23

Psalm 57:1 Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the diaster has passed.

It was nice to get in so early and everyone was in such a jovial mood. They seem excited for me to get to go home. They are always interested in my life. Such sweet girls.... Today the nurse wanted to check out my breast to see how it is looking. It is red and she said my bra is soft enough but she didn't want me to wear an underwire one which it is so she suggested that I not wear a bra while home this weekend. Yuck, I hate doing it but I have on a big sweatshirt that I bought just in case this happens. I am not hurting at all. I am so tired today though.

We traveled home after much thought and wondering if that is the right thing to do since it had snowed in our town and there was to be snow while traveling. However, it all went well--not icy. It was beautiful to see the snow come down and collect on the side of the road and in the pastures and ranch land. By the time we got to our town, the sun was already shining, snow melting, and roads were drying up. It is so nice to be back home. Can't wait to sleep in my own warm bed. My cats are happy to see us too. Thanks for your prayers... The tech said they don't know what they will be doing to me next week--might not even get a treatment on Monday but just see the doctor. That isn't good for that might mean I will have come back on Dec. 21 and I don't want to do that. Pray they will do a treatment on Monday.

I Thessalonians 5:16 Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in al circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Radiation day 22

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Nothing exciting happened today!!! :) I am red and it hurt a bit for about an hour but only in a small area. They are letting me have radiation tomorrow at 8:15 so I can leave early for home. It might be snowing in my town but I am going to try to get home. I talked with the wife whose husband had radiation right before me. His last one is tomorrow and it will be 38 treatments. I asked the tech today how many days I will having treatments and she said the doctor will decide that tomorrow or next week. I was hoping only for 33 treatments. We'll see..... Well, keep me in your prayers as I travel home tomorrow. I will check TX DOT before I leave to be sure the highways are safe!!! Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 56:3-4 When I am afraid I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to m e?

radiation day 21

I Samuel 3:18 He is the Lord, let him do what is good in his eyes.

Today they got me in and out of radiation much faster than usual--yea!!! I am definitely getting
redder--seems more so under my arm. But there isn't any pain with the redness. I'm not sure if there will be but just waiting to see what happens. My bra that I usually wear is sorta of new but it rubs against my skin and makes it red so I decided today to get another bra. I shopped at Kohl's (we don't have that store in my town so enjoyed going to it. ) I found one that I liked so hopefully it will work out fine. I hate to have to wear a new bra with all that aloe vera gel getting it dirty and the marks on my skin sometimes come off onto my bra but washes out without problems. I let my sister look at my head yesterday--hair not growing much--but she thinks it is a tad curly and going to be blonde. One of the chemo nurses told me this past Monday that hair grows slower in the winter months. No, no.....I am ready for my hair to grow. I am so tired of wearing a wig or turban. Oh, welll.......someday....I will have hair again. I sure don't have to go get haircuts these days. lol. Well, have a great day and thanks for checking up on me. Love you......

Jeremiah 32:26 I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?

radiation day 20

Psalm 62:2 He also is my Rock, and my salvation, he is my fortrress, I will not be shaken.

Today they did something different at radiation. I got my first boost and will have at least 3 more boosts. A boost is a higher dose of radiaiton. But the intersting thing is what they put on my skin. It is called a bolus--looks rubbery, peachy translucent colored , and about 1/2 inch thick. They use it to fool the machine in thinking it is skin so that they get the radiation more to the surface. The doctor is wanting a certain area to be radiated due to a shadow he saw on the CT scan and not sure what it is. Wants to be sure to get it in case it is cancer. There were 5 people around me trying to decide exactly where it needs to go. Then more came in so they could show them where it goes for some reason--maybe in case they work on me another time. No need to be embarrassed these days. They are all so nice so that it is easy to let them do what they need to do. They traced around the bolus so now I am marked up even more. Good thing I can hide it. I am starting to turn red but doesn't hurt. I am putting the aloe vera gel on more often.

Today is cold and dreary here in San Antonio--rainy most of the day. I am freezing--brrrr....not so tired today which is nice. I slept well last night. Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 32:7 You are my hiding place, you will protect me form trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.