wig

I Chronicle 16:10-11 Glory in His Holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rerjoice. Look to the Lord and his strength, seek his face always.

My hair is really starting to grow--blonde looking but not curly. I acutally shaved my legs the other day--was the first time in months. It felt good, hard to imagine since I hate shaving. lol. I went into town to go shopping today and decided to wear another wig that I got back in May from the American Cancer society. It is very short--not me at all but I wore it. My son took a picture which I will put on this post. A friend said she liked it and my daughter, wasn't too sure about it--"interesting hairstyle". In other words....you are crazy!!! lol. Oh, well.....who knows, maybe I will continue to wear it. I got a terrible headache while in town which is unusual for me and it went away after i took my wig off. Wonder if there is a connection... I told you that I am trying to lose weight by using my Wii Fit Plus. I have lost almost 5 pounds in 2 days. Wow, lost all my Christmas weight. I hope I can continue to lose the pounds. My skin at the radiated site is looking awful--like an alligator--lol. It is dry and peeling but thick and just so rough feeling. Not sure if the aloe vera gel is helping but I am trying to apply it often. Still hurts to sleep on my side but it is getting some better.

I am looking forward to the new year. I am praying that 2010 is a wonderful year and I am wishing each of you a happy , happy new year!!! Thanks for being interested in my life and my journey through cancer. Some of you I know but there are others that I don't know and yet, you continue to check up on me and I hope you are praying for me and growing closer to God as I am. Love you all....

Galatians 6:2a Carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Great news on finances

Psalm 118: 28-29 You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lored, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Great news!!!! I went to the cancer center here in my town to talk about my bill. In case you don't know, I took about 15 treatments here in my town and realized that the center is not part of my insurance's plan so they paid very little. I went to San Antonio when I discovered that my insurance wasn't paying for I should be 100% covered if the center I go to is in the plan. That means that I shouldn't be paying anything except co-pays for doctor visits. So. since I had 15 treatments, my bill was getting quite high--thousands of dollars. I went to see if I could pay a lesser amount for no one had told me that they were not part of the hospital system that their building is in--they just rent the building space. That is why I didn't check to see about my insurance for they are in the same building as my doctors and chemo clinic, so I thought they were part of the same system. Anyway, at this moment, the bill for the center was up to $10,000 with more to come and I asked if I could give just $5000 and call it good and they discussed it and said yes!!!!! My sweet mom had given me a $5000 check to help with the bill so I gave that to them. The business director came out to see me and thanked me for wanting to settle my bill. I was surprised that he did that but maybe they are happy not to have to "come after me to pay" or maybe something else,....who knows but anyway, they were nice about it all. I then asked about the doctor's bill. They went to talk to the doctor and he decided to charge me medicare rate and my insurance paid even more than medicare would have so I don't owe a penny there!!! God is so good. Oh, how I prayed today---all day-- that their hearts would be softened and understanding. Thanks for your prayers!!!! God does hear!!!

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs accordking to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Tuesday

I Samuel 3:18 He is the Lord, let him do what is good in his eyes.

The year 2009 is nearly at the end. This has not been the best year for me nor for my family. We had 3 family memebers with cancer this past year. But, God is so good, for in a way, this has been a good year. I have grown closer to God and have learned to trust Him completely. I've been reading a devotional book that was given to me by Valerie G. and it talks alot about suffering and how God uses it for our good; to make ua a better person. We all have to suffer at some time or another and we need to remember that it is in our best interest for we become stronger and a better person if we allow God to use it for His purpose. KK, you have suffered quite a bit too with the loss of a child and I know God is using this time in your life too to make you into a stronger and better person. Praying for you.

Ouch, my kitten just jumped on my chest and wants to sleep there but oh, it's so tender so had to move him. It is still red and peeling. The worse spot, on the bottom area almost looks like a scab but I've not had any bleeding. Last night I woke up with my nightgown stuck to my chest and it wouldn't peel off easily so waiting until morning so I could wet the gown to get it unstuck. I wonder when this will clear up. The first area that was radiated didn't go through this much trouble but it didn't have the high dosage of radiation.

I am really in need of losing weight so yesterday I worked out with my Wii Fit Plus that I got for Christmas. In fact, the whole family had fun working out with it. I did it again this morning. I can't do all the exercises for it hurts to raise my left arm up high but I can do most and I should exercise that arm so the chest muscles doesn't get too stiff. Should do it again this afternoon and as soon as weather is dryer and not so cold, will start walking again with my neighbor. Thanks for all of your prayers. Love you all.....

Romans 5:3 We also rejoice in our suffereings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance, perserverance characther, and character hope.

Peeling

Jeremiah 32:26 I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I enjoyed being with my family and my mom. My son gave me a breast cancer ornament which is really cool and my mom gave me a pink jacket that says 'Celebrate life' with a breast cancer ribbon on it

By the way, when I described my radiated area, I described it wrong in the shape....it does look like an eggplant but I had it upside down. The narrow part is nearer the nipple whereas the bottom part is at the top area. Anyway, the skin is peeling and it looks grey (the peeling skin). Yuck. And the skin underneath is raw looking....not oozing but looks like it could anytime. There is no way I can wear a bra---hurts too much. However, I was able to sleep all night in my bed. Pain wasn't too bad so was able to stay in my bed. I am so ready for this burn to completely heal. It's hard to even raise my left arm up all the way for it causes pain but I just keep going as best as i can. It's going to be okay. Now, about my wig....I am wearing a headband to cover up the bangs, at least part of it. I don't think you can tell much unless you really look at it. I don't particular like the way I have to wear the headband but at least I can wear the wig. My hair is growing....my eyebrows are really growing and I had to shave hair off my chin!!! lol. won't be long when I won't need the wig.

Psalm 3:5-6 I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.

Christmas Eve incident

Merry Christmas!!!!

Just a quick note!! Last night I ruined my wig!!! Yes, I singed it by taking a pie out of the oven for my stepmom at my dad's house. We were celebrating Christmas Eve with them. Sarah said my hair was messed up but I thought it was just caused by the wind--it was a windy day. But when looking in the mirror, I noticed it looked strange and then it dawned on me,....it's melted some. It looks awful. It's the bangs.....so, now what am I going to do. I still need to wear a wig. It cost me $70!!! I have some free ones but I really don't like them. I was close to tears. Early this morning while still half asleep, I was thinking about the wig. I never wear it at home when cooking so never had a problem with taking things out of the oven. It never occured to me that I could ruin my wig that way. I will admit that I was slightly upset with God for letting that happen---as if it was his fault. I rarely get upset with Him but I was thinking that He's not going to repair it so why.......why, did it happen; after all I was helping out, being nice. Silly me...it's just a wig. Sarah thinks she can fix it since she works with wigs in the theatre but I don't see how anything can be done to fix it.....oh, well......I'm not going to let it ruin my Christmas ...after all I will just wear my Santa's hat. :) Merry Christmas!!! Love you....

Luke 2:10-11 I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord!!!

Chrstmas Eve

Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!! It surprises me that I am still having pain and that it seems worse when I lie down to sleep. I can't lie on my side for the pain is really bad. I hate sleeping on my back so about 1:30 am, I got up to sleep in the recliner which helped. I will try to describe what my radiated area looks like. It is shaped like an eggplant with the narrow part high up between the breasts (like in the sternum area) and the bottom part goes toward the nipple but not that far down. The bottom part on the left side is where the worse burn is located--almost blistered but not quite. So, when trying to sleep on my side, that area gets scrunched up and hurts. When I put on a bra, it lifts the breasts and hurts that area too. Ouch....I know that this pain will subside. It also feels dry and is trying to peel in some areas. I put on that aloe vera gel quite frequently. The bad thing about the aloe vera gel is that it is sticky so my clothes gets stuck on the area and hurts to peel it off. I'm always afraid that skin will peel off but it never does. lol. Some of the scar from the lumpectomy is quite red from the radiation and it's tender to touch. Maybe my description helps you to understand somewhat where the pain is and how it looks. I feel so old at times for I get so stiff after sleeping or sitting for awhile. Hard to move around. I don't know if that is from any medication or what. That is a side effect from the pill I will be taking starting in Feb. but I haven't had it yet. But all in all, I am doing pretty well. I saw a lady at the bank yesterday (she works there) that I have known for years and she thought my wig was really my hair and that I had just dyed it or something. She didn't realize I had cancer and she said I look pretty good. Yes, you can't really tell that I've been through cancer treatments. God has been so good to me. Well, enjoy your Christmas and remember that Jesus is the reason we celebrate Christmas. He was born to save us--he suffered for us. He understands all about suffering--what a great Savior. Thanks for your prayers.

I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.

Wig

Deuteronomy 33:27a The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are teh everlasting arms....

Wigs need cleaning too like hair but not as often. Well, I've not washed my wig in a long time for I need a good day at home where I don't need to wear my wig. It takes a long time for a wig to dry for you can't use any heat--no blow dryer. I finally washed my wig on Monday night for I knew it needed a good cleaning. It didn't look dirty but just seemed dry and , well, not sure how to explain it but I just knew it needed something. I washed it with regular shampoo and after the water emptied out of my bathroom sink, there was lots of dirt left behind. I didn't realize it was that dirty!!!!! It looks better now and it is finally dried so I can wear it today. I will be so happy not to wear a wig again. My hair is so slow in growing back. It is a daily reminder too of my 'cancer situation'. Last night I wore my Santa hat when company came over for dinner. The man questioned on where my hair was--wasn't sure that my hair was a wig. I thought he knew. I hope he wasn't uncomfortable but I don't think so. He used to work with a woman who wore hats to work, never wore a wig.

My radiated area is still hurting. The time it bothers me the most is at bedtime. I have a hard time getting comfortable. You would have thought that the pain would have subsided by now but no, it's still there. Some of the redness is lessening but there are areas that is still quite red. As I type this, my kitten is sitting on my chest where it hurts but he is so little and light that he really doesn't make it hurt more. lol. Hope you are all ready for Christmas. I am done--now,it's time to clean the house and just enjoy time with my boys and husband. Merry Christmas to each of you. I am so thankful that I am here to enjoy Christmas. When you have cancer, you see things differently. I am not taking my life for granted but am feeling blessed to be here. Thanks again for your prayers. Love you all.....

I Chronicles 16:8-9 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.

Onocologist visit and Herceptin infusion

I Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.

Saw the onocologist today. He said that my cancer markers were good...in other words, no signs of cancer. Yippee!!!! I told him that the doctor in San Antonio saw a shadow on the cat scan and was concerned. He said we'll do another cat scan sometime. He decided not to start the Arimidex (anti-estrogen medication) now so that I can have a break!!! Will start it in Feb. when I see him next (Feb. 1). I am to have a echocardiogram (checking my heart) on Jan. 15 to be sure the Herceptin hasn't caused any heart damage. I had Herceptin today and it infused without any problems. My port is doing well!!! I also had my coumadin level checked and it was where it needed to be which makes it 2 times in a row that it is good so I don't have to go back for a month--the first time. I usually go every 2 or 3 weeks. So, today was good news day!!! So nice before Christmas. I finished reading the book "After breast Cancer". It was a good book and so helpful. My radiated area still bothers me and looks an angry red but no blisters. It is almost itchy too. Can't scratch it!!! Wearing a bra definitely bothers me so I am actually going out this evening without one---yikes. I have my support undershirt thing on which helps and will probably put on a jacket too. Just going to a store while my boys are at basketball practice. Thanks for your prayers---couldn't have made it without your prayers and support. Love you all......

I Chronicles 16:10-11 Glory in His Holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and His strength; seek his face always.

Sunday

Proverbs 23:18 There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

I received a DVD from a friend of my mom's a week or so ago but haven't watched it yet until today. This friend has breast cancer too. The DVD is called "Stepping into the Ring" and it is a testimony of Nicole Johnson who has breast cancer. She talks while in a boxing ring and she pretends to be boxing as she speaks. She talks about how she reacted when she received the news of having breaast cancer which she felt so angry and then the despair (an enemy as she calls it that attacks anyone going through any loss) she went through but then she found hope after she turned back to God. She heard a nurse read to a patient from Isaiah that says ' Your hope will not be cut off.'' Your breast might get cut off but hope doesn't get cut off". She talks about how we can have hope no matter what we are going through whether it's cancer, bad marriage, divorce, some other illness, loss of a child, or whatever. I loved what she said 'I have cancer but cancer doesn't have me." She goes on to say that we may have hair loss or breast loss but it can't have our heart nor our spirit." It was a short testimony but oh, so moving. This friend of my mom's sent a pair of small pink boxing gloves too. I will hang them up and it will remind me of hope and that cancer doesn't have my heart nor spirit!!!! I really feel so blessed not to have gone through the anger nor despair like she did. I did have moments of sadness and wondering why.... but never despair nor depression. I took hold of that hope in the very beginning. She does have humor too: such as saying "with breasts , they pleased my husband, fed my babies, and made my stomach look smaller. " 'Not to balance check books while on pain killers. " I tried to find the verse in Isaiah that she quoted by using the internet and I found it in Proverbs (I wrote it on top)..... Just wanted to share with you about this DVD. We all go through some kind of trial or tough times and we can all grab hold of hope in God and trust Him to carry us through these tough times. I believe in the power of prayers too and I do believe so much that prayer is what got me though my tough days. Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 9:18 But the needy will not always be forgotten, not the hopes of the afflicted ever perish,.

Saturday

James 1:3-4 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

It was so nice to get to unpack my suitcase totally and put it back into the attic!!! We will be staying home for Christmas so no packing for awhile. My radiated area has a small section that seems to be extra burned but I don't think it's blistered but maybe close...I have been puttng aloe vera gel on more frequently. I didn't wear my bra for most of the day but this evening I did since we went to a party. I am really tired this evening for I didn't sleep so well last night--not sure why...will go to bed earlier tonight.

On Monday, I get my coumadin level checked again plus see the onocologist and then get Herceptin--my IV medication. I probably will be starting the oral anti-estrogen medication soon for the dr. said that when I complete radiation that I will be started on Arimedix (not sure if that is correct spelling and too lazy to go look it up --lol) It has side effects but I am praying that it won't bother me too much. I have to take it for 5 years.

Today I wore a santa hat instead of my turban at home. lol. I thought it looked cute. My hair is growing--I can really see that it's coming along. It's not curly but it is blonde. My eyelashes are really growing back and I wore mascara top and bottom eyelashes today. Cool. I am so ready to look normal again. Will be glad too when I can wear any shirt I want so hopefully the radiated area starts to look more normal quickly. The doctor said it will not be normal as before but should be close.....Yikes, we'll have to see. Oh, well.....shouldn't be showing that part off anyway. lol. Well, have a great day. Love you all and thanks again for prayers.

Proverbs 24:10 If thou faint in the day of adversity, they strength is small.

Last radiation treatment

May this be a day when your heart lives in the beauty of God's love...abides in the strength of His joy...and rests in peace from above. "He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust. Psalm 91:4" (from a card)

I can't believe I am really done with radiation. It becomes a part of your life since you go practically every day and you get to know the people, etc but I am happy not to be going anymore. I will go back to see the doctor in San Antonio on Jan. 12. The techs were so sweet and gave me hugs. I do believe I am their youngest patient--where do the young ones go? All I ever saw were older and some very much older patients. I saw the doctor briefly today and he said I still could get blistered since he gave me a mega dose of radiation today. I am hurting--feels like a burn (well, lol, it is burned!!) I think it could be slightly swollen too for my bra left an imprint from where the edge of the bra was. I wanted to not wear a bra but since we were spending one night with a friend, i didn't get my big suitcase out and had only what i absolutely needed in a grocery bag and my support tank top thing was packed away. Tomorrow, I'll wear that instead of the bra.

When I went to my friend's last night, I tripped over their dog trying to get away from their puppy who was wanting to jump on me. I fell on their sidewalk and scraped up my knee and thumb and felt so foolish for falling. My friend who is actually not in good health herself was really concerned that I hurt my port but I wasn't hurt too bad. Silly me......but we had a great visit.

Today after radiation, we (the boys and I ) drove straight to our town and I had a chiropracter appt. My back has been hurting for several weekends. I needed an adjustment so hopefully, I will feel better now. I haven't been hurting very much at my sister's but I didn't do alot there either.

One of my friends who follows this blog gave me a gift today when we were at the boys basketball game (her husband is the coach--thanks Mrs. Coach) to celebrate my finishing radiaiton--how sweet!!! It's a pillow looking wall hanging that says "The Lord is my Strength and my Song Exodus 15:2" How sweet!!! It's blue and matches my house perfectly. It will remind me of how the Lord did give me strength to go through all that I've been through. I appreciate all of your prayers for without them, it would have been harder.

Thinking of you today---hope happy thoughts flutter around you today, bring you comfort and reasons to smile...

radiation day 32

Isaiah 40: 30-31 Even youth grow tired and weary, and young ment stumble and fall; but those who hop in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.



Only one more day of treatment!!!! The radiated area is hurting today like a burn--ouch. And where it was radiated previously; it is peeling like after a sunburn. I will be glad when this is over and my skin can return to semi-normal. They say it will not be totally normal like before but I'm sure it won't too bad.



My eyelashes are growing longer and I can see the lower lashes growing in too. Also, my legs are ready for shaving. I've not really shaved since June!!!! Time to get back to that routine!! lol. Now, only if my hair would grow more so I can quit wearing anything at home. It will be awhile before I will go without my wig. My boys don't think I'm ready to go without my turban at home--lol. I think I almost look my nephew's crewcut.



My brother-in-law came home today around lunch time. He is doing pretty well but you can tell he is tired and probably hurting some too. I'm sure he is happy to be home!!!



Psalm 134:2 Lift up your hands in the sanctuary and praise the Lord!!!

radiation day 31

Isaiah 40:28 The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

Only 2 more treatments!!!! I am so excited!!! It is interesting that the area where they are giving me the boost doses of radiation is really turning red whereas the other areas that was red is finally fading. The boost area is higher up so have to be so careful in what clothes I wear. I had to get blood work today. The lab tech wasn't bad but I've had better ones. It did hurt for a while after she took blood. After my treatment today, I went to visit my brother-in-law in the hospital since I drive right by it. He is doing pretty well but decided to stay an extra night to get rest, etc. He will come home tomorrow. I took my boys and his boys there this evening on our way downtown to the river walk. He was appreciative of the visit and we made it short so as not to wear him out plus we wanted to get downtown. We had a great time there but it got misty so we got wet but not much. We took a tour of the river by a boat, then we walked through the river center mall then walked to the Alamo to see the downtown Christmas tree. All so pretty. This morning I went walking which was nice for I've not excercised except walking around a mall which isn't the best of exercise, lol.

I've been reading today on a book called "After Breast Cancer". I had read some of it before but now I am trying to finish it. It's a good book. Made me think about how I feel about my cancer. I am not worrying about it coming back. I am leaving all that into God's hands; besides, I feel that I am healed!!! The book talks about doing something to remember the anniversary of either when you were diagnosed, or when you had surgery, or finished treatments or something that you can recall the date and to think each year, ao you can say "well...another year has gone by since my cancer". I think I will remember the day I was diagnosed as my anniversary date--March 26.

Tomorrow I am going to visit a friend that lives one hour from my sister's house and stay there overnight. She is like an older sister to me. I've known her since 1983. She's a school teacher and has been really busy but she will have time tomorrow for us. I am excited about seeing her. I may not get a chance to write on my blog tomorrow since I am going there right after my treatment and I doubt she has wireless internet there for she's not a computer person. Thanks for your prayers.

Isaiah 40:29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

raadiation day 30

Psalm 57:2-3I cry out to God Most High to God who fulfills his puprpose for me. He sends from heaven and saves me.....

Wow!! Only 3 more days left!!! Someone mentioned that I should have a end of radiation party. this was suggested by a woman who had cancer 3 years ago. Ummmm....sounds fun. Not sure what to do though. Would love to get together with those in my town who have been following my blog...but not sure who all is doing that. You should comment and let me know exactly who you are...I have an idea who some of you may be---Sandy? Deja? Any others? :) My treatment really went fast today. I was in and out less than 15 minutes. One girl, has been there for every one of my treatments and we have gotten to know each other--she's probably in her mid 20's and is so sweet. Tomorrow I am to have lab work so have to call my doctor's office to have the lab work order faxed to the cancer center then they will give it to me to take to a lab in another hospital!! My, what I have to do to be sure insurance covers my bills!!! lol.

My sister's husband had his surgery today. It went fine but he's had problems with vomiting--probably from the anesthesia. I had that problem with each of my surgeries. He's had some pain too but was able to get pain medication. He should come home tomorrow. I am hoping to take my boys downtown to the river walk to look at lights. My oldest nephew wants to come too. It's suppose to rain so I'm praying that it won't . It was to rain today but didn't. It is cold but we can bundle up and have some fun. Thanks again for your prayers. Love you all.....

Psalm 14:19 A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.

radiation day 29

Psalm 18:16, 19 He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Went back to San Antonio today--had safe trip but was so sleepy for some reason. Mondays are doctor visit days and weigh in day. My weight was down--amazing since it's Christmas time and I eat extra goodies at this time. lol. I had my treatment before seeing the doctor and they did the same kind of treatment as last week. Then I saw the doctor. He said that I would be done on Thursday which is a day earlier than I expected. I was so excited. Then he wanted to see how my skin was looking. The nurse and doctor was amazed that I was some red but no blisters. He said that many people get blisters like in a 2nd degree burns but I've not have that at all--because of prayers!!!! I am to come back Jan. 12 for a followup visit then just be followed by my onocologist. He was concerned about that shadowy area he saw on the CT Scan for he believes that the surgery didn't get all of the cancer. I don't know about that for on the pathology report it said that the margins around the cancer was clear which indicates that the cancer was all taken out. I'm not going to worry about it. God is in control. I went to the grocery store after my treament and while there, my doctor called. He said that after looking at my chart again and knowing that my skin is looking well, he had decided to do one more treatment--an extra mega dose!!! Oh, phooey, that means I am done on Friday now but that is okay since I expected that anyway.

My brother-in-law is having his prostate surgery tomorrow am. Pray for him. He seems to be in good spirits. He is taking a colon prep today which is not fun. I know since I did that just last month for my colonoscopy. I am glad I can be here to help out with their boys and anything else like send out emails. We had a good discussion this evening about having cancer. He has a great attitude too and is encouraing all men to have the PSA test. His high PSA was discovered when he went for a physical to be a boy scout leader who goes camping.

I looked at my insurance again and have decided that my insurance is paying for the doctor and clinic here. My husband just didn't understand how to read it. So, I was happy to find out that insurance is paying. Thanks for all your prayers and love.....

Psalm 118:1 Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love endures forever.

Sunday am

Isaiah 46:4 I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you.; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

My radiation treatment went well on Friday and it was early so was able to come home early. I have a weird spot on my breast from the radiation. It is sorta of white while everything else is reddish-brown around it. Almost like the skin peeled off but it's not. Weird. Doesn't hurt. But the whole breast sometimes feels bruised-like but at least it doesn't feel like a burn. I am hoping that next week is my last week. We got a notice from the insurance and they didn't pay 100% on the doctor's bill for the first day so not sure what is up with that. I need to check it out. Makes me frustated since that is why I am having treatments in San Antonio; to have 100% coverage. Argh.....

Pray for my brother-in-law...he has prostate cancer and is having his surgery on Tuesday. He seems to be doing okay but I hope to have a better talk with him tomorrow about it. We might have to stay in a different place after he gets home from surgery which I understand him being uncomfortable with us there. It's a wait and see thing right now. A friend who lives further south wants us to come and spend Thursday night with her...maybe....she's a teacher and is busy at this time of year. I hope we do get to see her.

I've been having problems with my back lately and is really bothering me this weekend. I have to sit down and rest quite a bit which is frustrating when I have so many things to do. I have scoliosis so have dealt with back pain all my adult life. I tried to get in to see the chiropracter for they used to be open on Saturdays but not any more. I will try to get an appt. for Friday when I come back home next week. I received a sweet package from a friend of my mother's (I don't even know the lady). She had breast cancer a year ago and so understands what I am going through. She sent a DVD with little pink boxing gloves (small) which I am assuming it goes along with the DVD. I've not watched it yet but I'm thinking it has to to do with breast cancer. Well, thanks again so much for your prayers and faithfulness in keeping up with my blog. The end of radiation is near and it is exciting to know that this phase of my treatment is nearly over. !!!! yea!!!!

Isaiah 49:13 ...for the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

radiation day 27

Isaiah 49:13 Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains. For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones!!

I noticed something today---my eyelashes are growing back in. I asked my sister if she could see them and she said she had also noticed that they are coming in but she thinks they are still too stubby to start wearing mascara again. She thinks my eyelashes are growing back in too. I also noticed hair on my legs!!!! Can you ever imagine being excited about hair growing on your legs. lol. If it was summer, I would want to be shaving but it's not really alot of hair and so blonde looking. Okay, for the top of my head, maybe it's growing some but so slow....... I think my wig is getting yucky looking--probably needs a good washing. It takes a long time to dry so I've not washed it lately. You can't use any heat so no blow dryers. My sister and I ate lunch at Olive Garden today and some elderly woman walked by our table and said "Your hair is so shiny. I like it. ". I just smiled and said thanks.

Tomorrow I will be going back home!!!! Yea!!! My appointment is at 8:45 am so we will be leaving early. I did lots of Christmas shopping today with my sister and am almost done. That will save me some time this weekend in not having to shop for gifts. Thanks for your prayers. Pray for safe travel for us. It is suppose to be raining here in San Antonio so slick roads.

Isaiah 4:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

radiaton day 26

Psalm 103:1-3 Praise The Lord, O my soul, all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.

I had a different tech today that I've seen around but never with me. She was curious to know how red I was and asked the other tech if I was red and she said that yes, but was doing pretty good, that it wasn't very bad. Ummm, I guess many others have it really bad...maybe it's because of the aloe vera gel that I keep using. Some of the redness is sorta of turning a light brownish color--almost like a tan but a weirder brown. Oh, well..... I had to buy more aloe vera gel. Went to Target yesterday but they only carried the green kind and I am to use only the clear kind. Found some at Walmart today. I asked for an earlier time for Friday so I will be going in at 9 am--yea. That means I can get home earlier. We plan to decorate our Christmas tree Friday evening so this will give me time to get home and put the tree up and put the lights on. I can't remember ever putting my tree up so late--usually it gets done quite early. I'm not there to enjoy it anyway. My sister has her tree up so that is nice.

Today my breast felt sore again but doesn't really hurt. I want you to know that having radiation isn't really that bad. I talked to a friend today and she thought that it might be making me sick like chemo does. She was amazed how well I sounded--I really feel great. I hope to be seeing this friend, Susan, next week for she lives south of here but not far.

I visited the house that we will probably stay in for a night or two next week when my brother-in-law comes home from his surgery. It has a nice kitchen but no couch for the living area or really any chairs except the kind you have in a Sunday classroom with those big tables. It has a bed and the boys will have to sleep on cots but they are doing that here at my sister's too. Probably no computer access either for me....:(. I am trying to plan activities for us to do so that we won't get too bored there. There is a DVD player with TV there on a rolling cart so hopefully it will stay. That would be helpful. It's just for a night or two. The church is nice to let us use it so no complaining here. God does provide. Thanks again for your prayers.

Psalm 145:17-19 The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving towards all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires on those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.

radiation day 25

Psalm 73:25-26 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desirre besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

It was so nice today for they got me in and out within 15 minutes--a record for them with me!!! My left breast is starting to hurt or at least bother me. It feels like it's heavy and bruised. I've not been wearing a bra but a support thing that looks like a spaghetti strap shirt. I don't know if it's just from getting radiation or from not wearing a bra or both. Anyway, we are about to go shopping so I did put on a bra. The nurse didn't say I couldn't wear a bra but try not to wear it around the house, so I put one on that doesn't have the wire support. The nurse and tech both said that I shouldn't wear the wire kind. I am also feeling really tired this afternoon . At least my sister will be the one driving when we go shopping. My boys wanted to see the huge bass pro shop and my sister says it is pretty neat. One of my boys is planning on doing Christmas shopping too. I might get some done too but I'm almost all done anyway. My oldest nephew is coming along too so we are waiting for him to get out of school. The youngest nephew has an out of town basketball game and as you can tell, we are not going to it. Sorry,.....Michael. He understands. My sister today went to her church today for prayer group and she asked about us using one of the houses that the church owns. They said it will work out; one group is suppose to use it but my sister is going to find out if they are canceling thier group next week. The bad thing is that there is no TV so it could be quite boring for my boys but maybe we can watch a movie on my computer or go somewhere. There is still another place we could stay so we will check that one out too. I wanted to let you know that when the radiation machine is going off, I can hear the sound and while it is doing it, I pray :"Please kill all the cancer cells" over and over until the machine turns off,. It takes about 25-30 seconds!!! Well, thanks for your prayers and love....

Psalm 86 1-2 Hear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy . Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God; save your servant who trusts in you.

radiation day 24

Psalm 69:30 I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.

Before going back to San Antonio today, I had to get my blood checked for the coumadin level. Yea, the level was where it is suppose to be. So, no changes on my dosages. We finally left town after running several small errands. It was foggy for about 1 1/2 hours then finally the fog lifted but in San Antonio, it is misting. I went for my radiation treatment, praying that a plan was made and that I would get a treatment. Sure, enough...a plan was made. They are now giving my radiation straight forward. All my other treatments have been from the sides in a diagonal direction. Also, the machine was really close to my skin so no more use of the bolus. It is a boost dose which means a higher level of radiation was given. I asked how many days I had left and the tech told me 9 more days. I don't know if that included today's treatment (I asked before I got the treatment) or not. Even if it means I have 9 more after today's treatment, I will finish when I thought I would; Dec. 18. But she said I might have to come back for a reassessment. Right now, I will be staying at a different place than my sister's for the last 2-3 days since my brother-in-law is having surgery and would be uncomfortable with us here. I understand that. There are 2 choices so my sister and I will check those out this week. One is at a friend's of my sister who has a mother-in-law suite with own kitchen and living area but it is a little further away from the medical center (a very nice home for my sister went there this past weekend for a party) and the other place is a house owned by her church but it is used for other things but may not be busy due to Christmas season. She will check it out tomorrow. Thanks for your prayers--they sure worked!!!

Psalm 73:28 But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.

radiation day 23

Psalm 57:1 Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the diaster has passed.

It was nice to get in so early and everyone was in such a jovial mood. They seem excited for me to get to go home. They are always interested in my life. Such sweet girls.... Today the nurse wanted to check out my breast to see how it is looking. It is red and she said my bra is soft enough but she didn't want me to wear an underwire one which it is so she suggested that I not wear a bra while home this weekend. Yuck, I hate doing it but I have on a big sweatshirt that I bought just in case this happens. I am not hurting at all. I am so tired today though.

We traveled home after much thought and wondering if that is the right thing to do since it had snowed in our town and there was to be snow while traveling. However, it all went well--not icy. It was beautiful to see the snow come down and collect on the side of the road and in the pastures and ranch land. By the time we got to our town, the sun was already shining, snow melting, and roads were drying up. It is so nice to be back home. Can't wait to sleep in my own warm bed. My cats are happy to see us too. Thanks for your prayers... The tech said they don't know what they will be doing to me next week--might not even get a treatment on Monday but just see the doctor. That isn't good for that might mean I will have come back on Dec. 21 and I don't want to do that. Pray they will do a treatment on Monday.

I Thessalonians 5:16 Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in al circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Radiation day 22

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Nothing exciting happened today!!! :) I am red and it hurt a bit for about an hour but only in a small area. They are letting me have radiation tomorrow at 8:15 so I can leave early for home. It might be snowing in my town but I am going to try to get home. I talked with the wife whose husband had radiation right before me. His last one is tomorrow and it will be 38 treatments. I asked the tech today how many days I will having treatments and she said the doctor will decide that tomorrow or next week. I was hoping only for 33 treatments. We'll see..... Well, keep me in your prayers as I travel home tomorrow. I will check TX DOT before I leave to be sure the highways are safe!!! Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 56:3-4 When I am afraid I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to m e?

radiation day 21

I Samuel 3:18 He is the Lord, let him do what is good in his eyes.

Today they got me in and out of radiation much faster than usual--yea!!! I am definitely getting
redder--seems more so under my arm. But there isn't any pain with the redness. I'm not sure if there will be but just waiting to see what happens. My bra that I usually wear is sorta of new but it rubs against my skin and makes it red so I decided today to get another bra. I shopped at Kohl's (we don't have that store in my town so enjoyed going to it. ) I found one that I liked so hopefully it will work out fine. I hate to have to wear a new bra with all that aloe vera gel getting it dirty and the marks on my skin sometimes come off onto my bra but washes out without problems. I let my sister look at my head yesterday--hair not growing much--but she thinks it is a tad curly and going to be blonde. One of the chemo nurses told me this past Monday that hair grows slower in the winter months. No, no.....I am ready for my hair to grow. I am so tired of wearing a wig or turban. Oh, welll.......someday....I will have hair again. I sure don't have to go get haircuts these days. lol. Well, have a great day and thanks for checking up on me. Love you......

Jeremiah 32:26 I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?

radiation day 20

Psalm 62:2 He also is my Rock, and my salvation, he is my fortrress, I will not be shaken.

Today they did something different at radiation. I got my first boost and will have at least 3 more boosts. A boost is a higher dose of radiaiton. But the intersting thing is what they put on my skin. It is called a bolus--looks rubbery, peachy translucent colored , and about 1/2 inch thick. They use it to fool the machine in thinking it is skin so that they get the radiation more to the surface. The doctor is wanting a certain area to be radiated due to a shadow he saw on the CT scan and not sure what it is. Wants to be sure to get it in case it is cancer. There were 5 people around me trying to decide exactly where it needs to go. Then more came in so they could show them where it goes for some reason--maybe in case they work on me another time. No need to be embarrassed these days. They are all so nice so that it is easy to let them do what they need to do. They traced around the bolus so now I am marked up even more. Good thing I can hide it. I am starting to turn red but doesn't hurt. I am putting the aloe vera gel on more often.

Today is cold and dreary here in San Antonio--rainy most of the day. I am freezing--brrrr....not so tired today which is nice. I slept well last night. Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 32:7 You are my hiding place, you will protect me form trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.

Herceptin and Radiation day 19

Psalm 116:5-6 The Lord is gracious and righteous; Our God is full of compassionl. The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.

Had Herceptin infusion today at the chemo clinic in my town. Dropped the boys off at the library to do school work while I had my medication. I told them about my problems with the radiation center not being covered by my insurance. They said that they didn't even know for a while that it wasn't part of that medical system. Anyway, they were able to get the Herceptin in quickly so I was finished by 10 am. Picked up the boys and off we went to San Antonio. While receiving the Herceptin, I really got tired and was just about to take a short nap when the infusion pump went off saying it was done. I was tired all the way to San Antonio. Brandon brought his guitar so played it in the car and we sang together which was fun and kept me wide awake. I am still tired!!! We got to San Antonio in time for me to drop off the boys at my sister's and unpack the car. Then I left for my radiation treatment. I realized that I didn't have my parking permit--Larry had taken it off the dashboard and put it on the clip on the console but it wasn't there anymore. I searched around it but couldn't find it. I parked in the cancer center parking anyway and asked the secretary for another one. I think I caught her at a bad time (they had just received an unexpected patient belonging to a different dr. that doesn't come there often) for when I asked, she gave me a look that could have killed. Apparently, you get only one permit but she let me sign in some logbook. Maybe because I am tired, I was also emotional and just wanted to cry and thought, what a silly thing to get upset about. On my way out, I saw a parking lot not too far away that doesn't cost. Most of them cost to use. Today, I saw the doctor and he informed me that I am going to get burned. The doctors always say that to me. Guess it will happen but who knows when. I also had x-rays--they always do it on Mondays plus weigh you. I asked if I could have an earlier time on Friday so I could leave earlier to go home and so now I am scheduled for 10:45 am instead of 2:30 pm. That is great since my boys do have a basketball game that night.

After my radiation treatment, I went to my nephew's high school to watch his basketball game but got lost on the way. It should have been easy to get there for I was on the right street which would have taken me to his high school but at one point, it turns left at a light, and I just kept on going straight. I finally figured out that something wasn't right so turned around, then stopped at a shopping center and looked at my map. Called my sister to say I was late and lost but I think I figured it out. lol. Finally got there at the same time as my brother-in-law. I was starving for some reason so ate my sandwich that my sister made for us at 4:30. After my nephew's basketball, I decided to leave. My sister had to work the concession stand and the boys stayed too so I went to the grocery store and now I am at my sister's all alone--well the dog is sleeping next me while I sit on the couch. lol. Sweet dog. So nice and quiet here. I may go to bed early tonight!!! I really worked alot this past weekend doing so much at home to get ready to come back to San Antonio. I think that is why I am so tired. Well, thanks for your prayers and love......

Psalm 142:1-3 I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift my voice to the Lored for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I t ell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way.

Thanksgiving holiday

Psalm 145:3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.

I hope each one of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!! I have so much to be thankful for: God, family, friends, freedom, church, and even my health. I am still alive and can look forward to many more years of living. Yes, I have breast cancer but I can beat this and survive for who knows how long. My mom went to a birthday party today for a lady who turned 100 years old. She had breast cancer when she was 80 years old and that was 20 years ago and she is still ticking!!!!

I didn't get to write what happened right before I went to my mom's for Thanksgiving--when I left San Antonio. My onocologist's office called to say I needed blood work before I get my Herceptin on Monday. There was no way I was going to get to my doctor's office so they faxed the lab work order to the cancer center where I get radiation. They gave me the order and sent me next door to a lab that I thought my insurance would cover. It took me awhile just to find the lab and when I finally did, turns out that my insurance doesn't cover that lab but they knew where I could go. It was to a lab a couple of blocks away in a hospital but I wasn't sure where to park so went around the block--huge block and decided to park in the parking garage. We noticed that the sign said that you don't have to pay if parked for only 30 minutes so our goal was to get in and out within that time frame. We found the lab and luckily they didn't have anyone there. After filling out all the data ,we were afraid that they couldn't do it due to not finding my doctor listed in my town (he had moved here about a year ago) but luckily, they found him listed in Texas. They took my blood and off we went. Whew, we got out of there before 30 minutes!!!! Praise God. We left there and went on to my mom's --a 5 hour trip and boy, was the interstate busy!!!!

We got home today and I've been busy doing laundry, grocery shopping, Christmas decorating, and some house cleaning. I am quite tired but just keep plugging on with a few rest breaks (like now--lol) for I don't have much time since I leave again on Monday morning. It will be so nice to sleep in my own bed tonight. Any maybe a cat or two will sleep with me--missed those cats. lol
Another thing I am thankful for is all of you who take the time to read my blog and keep up with my journey through cancer and boy , is it a journey; but we all have a journeys that we are embarking on. I pray that you will hang onto God while you g0 through your journey!!! Love you all................

Psalm 118:28-29 You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Radiation--halfway done!

Isaiah 12:4 Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted.

Yesterday was my 17th treatment and I have only 16 more to go!!! Yea--I am halfway done!! I am getting quite familiar now on how to get to the cancer center. The traffic hasn't been too bad but my sister informs me it's partly because the schools in this part of town have been out all week. I'll have to wait to see what the traffic is like next week. However, after I got to the cancer center, I had to wait around 45 minutes to get my treatment. In my town, I rarely had to wait and never that long. Oh, well..... After my treatment today, my boys and I will be traveling to my mom's which is 5 hours away!! I will get to see what my sister has to go through to travel to my mom's every time. lol. Christopher can drive so I will let him drive part of the way. That will be nice. My husband and Sarah will leave this afternoon for my mom's too and I can't wait to see them.

Last night we went to my younger nephew's basketball game again but this time they were doing a fundraiser for cancer so the team was wearing pink socks and they had pink t-shirts over their uniform when not playing. Lots of people were wearing pink. Brandon and I were wearing pink t-shirts that I got from doing a Pink Ribbon Run (fundraiser for breast cancer in my town). They had all kinds of other things to raise money such as raffling 3 items, pink paper airplane contest, pink ribbons to buy and wear, and pink lemonade to purchase for a donation. My sister and I worked in the concession stand during the girl's game which was fun. I think my boys are getting quite bored being there and watching all those games. Of course, I kinda of laugh to myself for they are seeing what it is like for me to sit and watch their games and all the others that we stay and watch, especially during a tournament. But I do feel sorry for them for they are missing being with their friends and activities. This is a hard time for them but they haven't complained.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to spending time with my mom and youngest brother and his family. My sister is going to her in-laws this year since her father-in-law is celebrating his 70th birthday today. Thanks for all of your prayers . love, and support. Love you all.....

Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.

1st radiation in San antonio

Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours.

Today I went to the cancer center to get a radiation treatment. My sister drove me there to show me how to get there. There are so many hospitals in this medical complex. We went into the hospital but couldn't find the cancer center. Even the admissions person didn't know exactly where it was (that was a little scary--lol). Anyway, we finally found out and went in the back way. We now know how to get in the front way--lol--for they have an outside entrance and parking nearby--yea!!! I saw the dr. and he was nice but concerned for he thinks my first dr. was radiating too much of my lungs (I didn't even realize any of the lungs were being radiated). he said that could cause pulmonary fibrosis in later years if not careful so he is going to change the direction the rays go in. At first he said that we would get the set up today and then start the radiation on wednesday then realized they are going to be closed for the holidays on Thursday and Friday so decided that maybe they could start today. I have to wear this interesting bra looking thing to lift up my breasts to better radiate them. Very interesting. I leave it there and will wear it each time I go. Everyone at the cancer center was nice. I went back to my sister's house for lunch and did some schooling with the boys. They called me around 2:30 and told me to be there in 30 minutes so they could do my first radiation treatment there. Luckily, it takes about 20 minutes to get there. And I drove myself there this time and didn't get lost. They had to take lots of x-ray pictures so I had to lie still for a while so was happy when they finally finished. They really marked me up with their permanent marker -lots more than the center before. I won't be able to wear some of my shirts--oh, well........ I will be getting my radiation treatments in the afternoons. I had hoped to get my treatments in the morning except for Mondays but I guess since they knew I needed Monday afternoons they gave me all afternoons. That means when I leave for the weekend, I will have to leave later than i would like but that's okay. I need Monday afternoons for I have things to do in my town on Monday mornings like getting Herceptin, seeing the onocologist, etc. The boys will be able to get their schooling done on Friday mornings for I had planned to have them do it in the car which is sometimes hard to do--lots of distractions. After I was finished with the radiation treatment, I came back 'home' and put lots of aloe vera gel on. I really don't want to get burned.

My sister has had several offers for help--meals and even places for me to stay. Some of them think I am an 'invalid', for one lady commented that it wouldn't be good for me to stay with her for I would find it hard to manage the stairs. We thought that was funny. I am far from being an invalid but it is sweet that she has some caring friends. So far things are going well at my sister's. Her youngest son does have lots of school work involving computer work so he was up late which means my boys were up late since they were sleeping in the computer room (a study). And today, Brandon was one grumpy boy but they will adjust......I do so appreciate my sister for letting us stay. Now I am praying that insurance will pay for all of this!!!!! Thanks for your prayers too.

John 14:13-14 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

Leaving for San Antonio

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Today is the day my boys and I leave for San Antonio to stay with my sister and her family for a few weeks. We will come home for the weekends, so that is going to be alot of traveling but that's okay. You have to do what is best for the circumstances and this is the best way in this situation. I am already pretty much packed. I don't want to be a burden for my sister so we are helping with meals, taking paper goods, etc. My oldest nephew (a senior in high school)is giving up his bedroom for me to sleep in. He will share with his brother but that means he has to sleep on a cot but he did that all summer at boy scout camp so he doesn't mind. What a sweet nephew. My boys will also be sleeping on cots in the dining room area--an area that isn't used much. This will be adventure and during the Christmas season which makes it different. I love Christmas and to decorate, bake, and do all kinds of fun things so it will be interesting to see how this goes this season. I took down all my fall stuff yesterday so when I come next weekend, I can get started with Christmas decorating. The fun thing will be getting to do my shopping in a much bigger city!!! Lots of choices--maybe too many. lol.

I think my hair is starting to grow again. I am so ready for it to grow. Tired of wearing hats and wigs. Well, thanks for your prayers. Tomorrow I go to the new place and get all set up again. I wonder if they will do radiation too. I hope so. The sooner, the better so I can come home to stay. Love you all....

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Friday--Nov. 20

Psalm 9:18 Thsoe who know your name will trust in You, for you, lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Looks like I am off to San Antonio to finish up my radiation treatments. I had a few scares for I called insurance today to be sure they will cover the set up for radiation and the guy said that the hospital wasn't covered but in the process of recertification but said I should get the tax ID to be sure. I called the hospital and they said they checked and I am covered but she gave me the tax ID so I called back and sure enough, I am covered there. yea!!!!! I talked to the doctor who will be treating me. He was confused on why I was coming so explained to him and he understood but thought it was terrible that I had to go down there. He says the doctors and patients get caught in the middle. He said he would even treat me for free but I told him that he was covered by my insurance. What a nice dr. Anyway, I am to be there on Monday morning. The nurse said they never had anyone transfer after receiving so many treatments but she understood my reasoning when I explained. She seemed nice. I have to admit, I was getting quite frustrated and teary there for awhile. I almost wanted to quit again but don't worry Mother, I won't .....I even said that to the dr. and he said, no, you can't do that.

I did not take any radiation treatments yesterday or today. My dr. said it was okay to miss these days. I had to call to reschedule some dr. appts. and my coumadin level checks. I went in today to get coumadin level checked and it was high again. I am trying to get any appts on Mondays so hopefully I can get radiation treatment on Monday at a late time and then travel to San Antonio on Monday. It will be harder for my boys to do school in the car but they have done it before.

Today I have been so scatterbrained with my thoughts going everywhere trying to get things ready for my trip. So much to do.....did laundry, started to pack clothes, gathered up school books and items we will need plus made lesson plans for the next 2 weeks. Plus I had to do school with the boys today--I was behind in reading Chemistry (yes, I have to read it then go over it with the boys even though they have read it too but they seem to need extra teaching on it. ) There were many other little things to do too. Tonight we are going to watch a play at the college where my daughter is the assistant stage manager. Tomorrow we are going out of town for a basketball game. I know I should stay home but I want to support my boys and maybe even see my mom since it's near her. I will be taking my laptop plus my sister does have a computer so I will continue to blog my experiences. Thanks for all your prayers. Just pray that the insurance really does cover this and just for all of us to adjust to being in a different place and for my sister and her family as they adjust to us being there. Pray that I remember everything I need to take. This will be a weird week with it being Thanksgiving for I will probably leave San Antonio and drive straight to my mom's to celebrate Thanksgiving there. Well, love you all and thanks again for your prayers.

Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Thursday--Nov. 19

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Hard to believe it is mid-Novemeber already. Time sure flies by fast these days. Yesterday Larry was able to pull up a list of hospitals and doctors that our insurance covers. I went for my radiaiton treatments and one tech said that there are radiation treatments done in hospitals so I searched several hospitals online to see if they have radiation treatments. I finally found 3--Scott and White in Temple, one in Brownwood, and then one in San Antonio. I am going for the one in San Antonio for my sister lives there and I can stay with her. I called the one in San Antonio to be sure they are under my insurance and not renting space from that hospital. They gave me the doctor's phone number so I called the radiation center here to have them set up a time for me to go down. I haven't heard anything yet---hopefully today I will hear something. If this doesn't work out, we have decided we will just finish up here. My mother says she will help with the payments--thanks Mom. I know that God is in control and I just need to sit back and completely trust Him in this matter. He knew all along I wasn't being covered well by insurance so there must be a reason for all this--maybe for me to have complete faith in Him!!!

So far, I am doing well with the radiation treatments---not really red yet. Sometimes it is a little pinkish but not all the time. It doesn't hurt at all so able to wear my bra--lol. I wish my hair would hurry up and start growing. I am so ready. My head gets cold without hair!!!! :) Thanks for being a faithful reader and prayer partner. Love you all......

II Corinthians 12:9 But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.

radiation day 15

John 16:33 In this world you will have trouble . But take heart: I have overcome the world.

I had my fifteenth day and thought it was the last day to have it at the center here in my town. I told everyone goodbye. They all gave me hugs and said that they liked me and I could come back for a visit. Maybe I will make them cookies sometime. I saw the onocologist radiation dr. and he was understanding of us wanting to go elsewhere if the insurance would pay. He said they've not had problems before. Great....why me. I had my colonoscopy which went well. My nurse who took me in is a Christian and even goes to my church so before she took me, we prayed. How sweet. They found nothing so that is good--colon is healthy. After I got home, I had a phone call from the radiation center and they said that M. center found out that my insurance won't cover the radiation treatments either. That doesn't seem to make sense since someone from our insurance told Larry that they did. I called M. center and talked to their insurance lady and she said she talked to them for over 30 minutes and it will not be covered.So, here I am not feeling well after the colonoscopy, calling up the insurance company to see what is going on. I talked to the lady and she talked to her supervisor and they couldn't find any radiation center in this state. What is the deal!!!!! They found onocologist doctors so I called one in another city where my sister lives--a big city. She said she will call me back tomorrow. I was in tears by the time I got off the phone. Then I looked up my insurance's website to see what I could find, sure enough, no radiation center is covered. The doctores are. That could be helpful but it costs lots of dollars to do another set up which means I would have to pay. Maybe I better just stay here and pay it out. It costs about $374 a day for radiation then some days I have an x ray and the dr bill is skyhigh!!! Wish I could just quit this. But I must trust God in this....I wonder why they won't pay for radiation treatments. I am so confused.....and frustrated. Okay, I need to take a deep breath and put this aside and just concentrate on feeling better from this colonscopy. I need rest. Not sure now whether to go in for radiation tomorrow or not. I am home alone for my boys went to play in a basketball game and Larry went to work to make up for he missed this morning. it is quiet and peaceful here.......Please pray for me in this situation and that I can have that peace once again.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God , which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Radiation day 15

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Looks like I will be living in the town where my mom lives to finish up my radiaiton treatments. I will go again tomorrow to see the radiation dr. here and have a treatment but they should be able to get in touch with the radiation center in M. by tomorrow. They tried today but no one answered so they left a message. They called my insurance twice to see if they would pay anyway but insurance is being stubborn and said no. I called to be sure they would pay for another set up (measuring where the rays will go, etc) and they said yes. I don't know when I'll go. I am glad my mom lives there and is willing to take my sons and I in for 3 weeks or so. It will be a hardship but will work out. I will enjoy getting to see my mom though and spending time with her and friends that I know there.

Tomorrow I am having a colonoscopy just because I am 50 years old and the dr. thinks I should have it done. So, today I am taking the laxative preps. Yuck. So far, it's not been too bad drinking the stuff and my bottom isn't too sore but the evening has just begun!!! lol. My husband had this done last winter and I remember that it's not a fun procedure. I hope I don't get nauseated from the medication they give to make you sleepy. My stomach is sensitive to anesthesia so we'll see how I do with the meds they give me in the morning. I will have a radiation treatment and see the radiation onocologist before going to the hospital. Thanks for your prayers.

Psalm 56:3-4 When I am afraid I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraidl. What can mortal man do to me?

radiation day 14

Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

We received some bad news yesterday. We found out that the radiation center is not part of the hospital system we thought they were under. They rent space from them. So, we then found out that they are not on our insurance plan. This is the only radiation center in our town. The radiation center called our insurance to see if the dr. is on the plan (no) and to tell them this is the only radiation center in a 100 mile radius. It didn't matter to the insurance company. Well, we believe we are owing them about $7000 now. Why weren't we told in the beginning that they were not part of the hospital system or why didn't we find out for sure that the radiation treatments were being covered. You would thought i would have learned from my mistake with the neulasta shots but no, guess I didn't learn well enough. Larry is wanting me to move in with my mom for a few weeks and have radiation in her town for that center is covered by our plan. But, we are about to reach the maximum of out of pocket expensese not covered under the plan. I need to call today to see what happens when we reach the maximum--will they pay 100 percent? If so, then no reason to change. If not, then I might be moving for a few weeks. Yikes. Not something I want to do. The radiation center told my husband that they would have to take the set up x-rays again if we move to another place. Of course, we've not talked to the center in the town where my mom lives. She lives close enough (2 hours away) that we can come home on weekends. I do believe God provides, for our stock broker called the other day to say we should sell this stock that we own and so we did and it will be enough to cover the medical expenses that have accumulated so far but not enough to pay for the rest of the treatments--it is expensive. I had hoped to buy a new car--a smaller one --to save on gas since I have a big car. Pray that we will make the right decision. Living away from home will be hard but luckily I do homeschool so the boys will come with me. However, they will miss going to their activities.

Seems funny but my breast sometimes look pink then at other times it doesn't. Maybe the aloe vera gel is the cause. It hurts too at times but not all the time. Thanks for your prayers.

I Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Radiation day 13

Psalm 46:1-2 God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear through teh earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.

Just a quick note for it's getting late and I am tired. My breast is definitely getting pinker and
more sensitive. For most of the day it's okay until I put on the aloe vera gel and then my nipple stings for about 10 minutes. Yikes. Not fun. I had a busy day and was in town most of the day but I did put the gel on once while in town. I really should try to put it on more often now that it is getting pink. A big problem I am having is that I find myself standing or walking stooped over. Not sure when that started or why but I keep having to tell myself to stand up straight. I am feeling like I am older than I am. Not good. The bottom of my feet hurt too. I feel like I'm falling apart physically....lol. Let's pray that it gets better. Thanks for keeping up with my blog--you must care and I appreciate that. Oh, I will be helping my daughter move into a different apartment tomorrow so I am praying that I won't hurt my back or anything. Have a great day.

Matthew 11:28 Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.

Radiation day 12

Psalm 9:18 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you , Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Yesterday the cancer center called to say that the radiation machine had broken down so I couldn't go in the morning at my usual time. The bad thing was that I had to go in anyway to get my coumadin levels checked. I already had canceled that appt. once so really needed to go in. Larry had taken his truck to the Ford house since there was something they had a recall on. I had to pick him up so had to make a trip into town anyway. Then the cancer center called right after lunch to see if I could come in this afternoon since the machine was fixed so I went in at 3:50. They were busy since they were trying to work the morning people in along with the afternoon people but they were in a good mood. My breast area is slightly pink today and sometimes it feels funny. I can't really describe it but it's not a burning sensation. I am putting the aloe vera gel on but didn't put any on this morning since I didn't know when they might call me. You can't put it on 4 hours prior to getting radiation treatments. I am really tired today and tried to nap but really couldn't do it. Will go to bed after I write this so I can get some good rest. My coumadin levels were too high which means my blood is thinner than it needs to be but I am handling it okay. My kitten has scratched me but I really don't bleed from it more than usual. They were hoping I could start getting my blood checks once a month but since it was too high, I have to come back in 2 weeks. Too bad. Luckily when the nurse was scheduling my next appt. she said I was to see the onocologist on the 24th but I said no, I'm to see him on the 30th but it was in the computer that the appt. had been changed after I last saw him. I didn't change it so since his office is in the same building and on the same floor, I just went to the office and asked about it. They couldn't figure out how or why it was changed so now it's back to the 30th. Whew, that would have been a mess up if the coumadin nurse hadn't said anything. The Lord works in interesting ways. :) Well, thanks for your prayers. I have a busy day tomorrow so hopefully I won't be too tired. Pray that I have the energy I need. Thanks. Love you all......

II Corinthians 12:9 My grace is suffcient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Radiation day 11 plus dr. visit

I Chronicles 16:11 Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.

Each day brings me closer to the end of radiaton!!! Of course, I still have several weeks to go but the end will be here before I know it. Tuesdays are doctor days so they weigh me and took an x-ray too. I saw the radiation dr. and he said all is looking well. He reminded me that I will get redness. I asked when that might start occurring since I've not experienced any redness yet. He said I should start seeing it maybe next week. I am faithfully using the aloe vera get but usually twice a day and not 3 times like I had planned. I just forget in the middle of the day. I'm sure if I'm feeling some burning, I will be wanting to put it on. lol.

Some of you might be wondering if my hair is growing back yet. Last month I had some hair growth on the top of my head but it hasn't changed since. I had chemo and hoped it wouldn't come back out and it didn't but maybe it kept it from growing. I thought by now it would start growing again. I noticed a few days ago that I did lose some hair on my arms for I had quite hairy arms (blonde hairs so not too noticable). So, no hair growing on legs, underarms, eyebrows nor eyelids. However, I did have a hair grow on my chin---oh, no, that is not where I want hairs to grow. lol. I plucked that one right out!!! Oh, well....I'm sure that my hair will start growing soon. At least I am hoping.....

My brother-in-law was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few months ago and just found out that it is aggressive so he has to have surgery in Dec. I am praying that they will have the peace that comes from God as I have peace. Reminds me of my first few days of realizing I have cancer. It is never fun to find out you have cancer but God is good and will give them the strength to get through this as He has given me. Love you, my dear sister!!!! Pray for them too when you pray for me--Khristi and Jim!!! Thanks always for your dear prayers.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight!!!

radiation day 10

Hebrews 4:15-16 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Went in today for my 10th radiation treatment. I went a little early and they were just sitting around waiting....so I got in and out really quick. I was to be there at 9am and I was out at 9:02!! I had a new tech or she said she is a therapist (they seem to call themselves all kinds of different names) named Amy. She was really nice too. Kim was quite talkative and very pleasant so it all went well. So far, no redness. It almost felt like I could feel some 'burning' but who knows.....I keep putting on the aloe vera gel.

I had a nice but busy weekend. I was very tired on Saturday. We went out of town (nearly 2 hour drive for us) for my boys basketball tournament. I slept on the way there and on the way home. Still was tired all that evening too. But on Sunday, I felt better. We (the whole family) volunteered at a HEB Feast of Sharing Dinner (free thanksgiving dinner for the community). It was enjoyable and I didn't feel tired at all. Nice to know that I can be in large crowds again and not have to worry so much about getting some disease. However, I am hoping I don't get sick at all for it's not fun to be sick. lol. I don't feel too tired today either so I've been doing some housework. I am so behind!!!Thanks for your prayers. They do mean so much to me. Love you..

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Radiation day 9 plus dr's visit

Psalm 91:1-2 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadows of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.

Today was a busy day medical wise....first, I went to see my onocologist. My blood count is all normal for the first time --red blood count was better than when I first started chemo. Praise God!!! I found out that I will be taking the oral anti-estrogen (hormonal) medication right after I finish radiation. I have read about the side effects of that medication so not looking forward to taking it especially right before Christmas but I will be taking it for 5 years so might as well get used to it. I still have to see the doctor a couple more times when it's time to take Herceptin but then it will go to every other month. I won't be getting the blood work in between my appointments but only the day before. Yea!!! it's a wonder my vein has held up all these months. Because of my blood clot, they should really use only my left arm and so they use the same vein each time. It is so nice to know that things are settling down. After my doctor's appt., I rushed downstairs to radiation and got my treatment then went to the chemo clinic. Luckily,all of this was in the same building. I had Herceptin and they were able to infuse it in one hour. So far, radiaiton is going fine and I'm not showing any redness. I thought it might be turning some red yesterday but there wasn't any redness today. The PA did tell me that Herceptin will probably give me fatigue, otherwise not any other side effects. I was really tired today so when I got home, I quickly did a little laundry and spelling with Brandon then I laid down to take a nap while they ate lunch. The nap helped me get through the rest of the day but I'm already tired again and it's only 8 pm. I think the combination of the radiation and Herceptin is getting to me. I hate feeling tired but I know it is part of this path I have to cover. It won't last forever which is what I have to keep telling myself.

Last night I went to the Survivor Sister meeting. My surgeon (and friend) was the guest speaker. I found out all kinds of information that I didn't know. One is that there is no test to say that you are cured from breast cancer. There are some cancers like colon cancer that after 5 years, they say you are cured but that doesn't work for breast cancer. Breast cancer can come back anytime even like 18 years later. Of course as the years go by without reoccurrence of cancer, the lesser chance it will come back but you just never know. That means women that had breast cancer have to be diligent to be on their guard such as doing self breast examinations and getting mammograms. I have people asking me if I am cured or when will I have tests to find out if I my cancer is gone. I can say that at this moment my cancer is gone but I can never say I am cured. But, this is not a worry for me. I have put my life in God's hands and will trust Him completely. Whatever He wills for me, I will accept. I know He loves me and will be with me no matter what. Thanks for your prayers.

Isaiah 4:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

radiation day 7

Psalm 89:1 I will sing of the Lord's great love forever, with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.

Today went better at radiaiton. I got there in plenty of time but they were ready anyway for me. Maybe they didn't have a patient in the time slot right before me. I was in and out of there within 10 minutes!!!! Wow, so fast. Still have no redness. I'm not too tired either so having a good day. Tomorrow I get labwork to see how my blood count is doing then I see the onocologist on Friday.

Remember my trip to DC? Well, the group that sent me there asked if I would write an opinion letter for my newspaper. They gave me a template to follow. I wrote out my story and then inserted the information about why I was in DC, etc. I am to send it to this group and they will edit it and then tell me what to do next. One lady had her article published in Newsweek magazine. Wow!!! Another step of maybe helping others and doing something that I've not done before. God sure is stretching me to do things I never thought I would do. lol. I was nice and didn't add the part of my first doctor refusing to let me have the MRI. No need to stir up a hornets nest in this town. The goal here is to encourage congress to preserve access to medical imaging tests.

Yesterday I received my last package from my chemoangel, Lisa. Thanks, Lisa. It was a great package but I know it's an end (a good end) to an era in my journey. She promises to stay in contact and I will love to stay in contact with her too. She was an 'angel' during my chemo treatments--always lifting my spirtits. My other chemoangel was a great lifter upper too. Thanks, Ann Marie. Thanks all to who pray for me. I sure need it to complete this journey that I am taking. Love you all.

Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.

Radiation day 6

Psalm 4:1 Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress, be merciful to me and hear my prayer.

I was emotional today or something for I was quite sensitive and had my feelings hurt by my 'favorite' nurse at radiation. I got there just about 2 minutes before I was to be there and she told me that I needed to get there a little earlier to be sure I have time to get dressed and ready to go at my appointed time. I have always been ready and waiting on them but this is the first time they were ready for me as soon as I was 'dressed' in my shirt gown. I don't know why that hurt my feelings but it did. As I was lying down on the table getting zapped by those radiation rays, a couple of tears rolled down my cheeks and I couldn't even wiped them away since my arms are up above my head and I can't move. I usually don't 'cry' at something like that even if my feelings get hurt. Oh, well.....I was quite tired this morning so maybe that was part of it. Larry hasn't set his clock back so he forgot and set his alarm to go off at 4 am instead of 5 am so it woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep. ( I took a little morning nap today)

Today at radiation, it was doctor day. My doctor assured me that I will get burnt eventually. Oh, great......I keep praying and hoping that I won't get burned. lol. He said that I will probably burned a little higher too especially since it has probably been exposed to sun before. I didn't realize I might get burned that high up. So far, no redness.....yea!!!! He also said that I will be taking 33 radiaiton treatments. Okay, 27 more days. After I put on the aloe vera gel at bedtime, my nightgown gets stuck to my skin. That won't be good if I am burned. Will have to be sure I give it time to dry before putting on my nightgown.

Last night I went to a ladies group that just started. It's a time for prayer, singing, and reading scripture. I didn't really know anyone there but guess it's a good way to meet new people. The lady leading it knows who I am and her daughter works for my onocologist so I see her all the time. Anyway, she asked me to share what's going on in my life and where I am in my cancer treatment. We had prayed via telephone earlier for another lady who has breast cancer. As I shared with these ladies, I realized that God has blessed me by me having cancer. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but I do feel blessed. God works through whatever situation we go through and makes it into a good, blessed situation. I have drawn closer to Him, to others, and have been blessed by people I wouldn't have dreamed would be there for me. These ladies gathered around me to pray for me by laying there hands on me and praying. It was so sweet.

Today I visited with my friend that had cancer 3 years ago so I asked her what it was like for her when she completed her treatment. I wanted to compare her experience to what I read in the book I have been reading. Of course, she is still on treatment for she's on oral medication for 5 years and that medication has side effects so still has to deal with that. I will be taking oral medication too for 5 years but a different one than she is taking. But when done with radiation, she felt like celebrating and glad that was behind her. Of course, it takes time to recover. People think that as soon as treatments are done that you will be feeling like yourself before cancer but it takes months to really recover completely. So, my friends who know me, don't expect me to be the same as before. However, I really haven't stopped doing too much--just here and there I might not have done things so I don't think I will have trouble getting back to normal but of course, I'm not done with radiation either so maybe it will take time to recover from that. We'll take one day at a time, okay!!!! :) Thanks for your prayers and love.....

John 14:1 Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.

radiation day 5

Psalm 106:1 Praise the Lord. give thanks to the Lord for He is good; his love endures forever.

I went today for my 5th radiation treatment. So far, no redness or anything out of the ordinary. I put on the aloe vera gel as soon as I got home. This week will be so much better schedule wise for it is more consistent. I did go in at 8:3o am today but the rest of the week I am to go at 9 am except on Thursday which will be at 2:5o since I am already in town on Thursday afternoons.

I was reading on the book "After Breast Cancer" from the beginning and it was talking about how many women find it difficult to adjust after treatments are done. I've never thought about it for I am ready to be done and go on with life. So, I'm glad to be able to read and find out these things so I can prepare myself. The author apparently had facilitated a support group for womnen going through chemo then ladies approached her to have support group for women after they were done with treatment so she has alot of knowledge from talking to women in that group. My time after treatment will not end so abruptly as some of these women since after radiation, I will still be taking Herceptin but only every 3 weeks. Of course, when that ends, then I guess that will be my end of treatment. However, many things she talks about like hair growing, etc. will happen before August. Somehow I feel that I will not be struggling when that time comes for I've been at peace through all of this and just having God guide me and close to me. I will have to ask some of the ladies I know who have gone through cancer to see how they handled that time in their life. During this whole journey, I just take one phase at time: first the surgery time, then chemo, and now radiation. I am glad I found this book, though, for it's opening my eyes to the next phase I'll be in. Most cancer books don't talk much about what happens after your treatments are done. Well, thanks again for your prayers and love....

Psalm 55:22 Cast all your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.

Saturday

Psalm 116:7 Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord, in the land of the living.

Yesterday was a fun day at radiation---I walked in and there was no one in the waiting room and all the staff was behind the front desk getting their pictures made for they were all dressed in costume. It turns out that they dress up every year. My 2 nurses were Robert , dressed as Popeye, and Milton, dressed as a prisoner. They were in a fun, talkative mood. When I left they wished me 'Happy Halloween" and gave me a sugar cookie that looked like a green ghost. It was from a bakery and very delicious--even better than mine and I really like mine. :) I don't have radiation over the weekend, yea!!!!!

One of my biggest problems now is fatigue and chemobrain (memory & intelletual problems). The chemo destroys good brain cells too so people have some short term memory problems , fuzziness of quanitative thinking, and other things. It drives me crazy for I am more forgetful than ever before. According to the book I am reading, it says our mental capacity does improve gradually but not to what it was before cheom. Oh, great....The book also gives suggestions on how to improve the brain such as lots of reading, doing puzzles, playing games, memorizing things, getting enough sleep (lol), writing, and changing routine and learning new ways to manage things. Also, I just seem tired all the time. I took the boys this morning to take a pre-ACT test then came home. I swept and mopped the floors and was exhausted by the time I finished so laid down and took a nap at 9:30 am. The rest of the day I have been doing a chore then sitting down and doing some kind of restful activity whether on the computer or grading papers, etc. I am feeling pretty good right now so guess the morning nap helped. Thanks again for your prayers. Love you....

Psalm 105:4 Look to the Lord and His strength; seek his face always.

radiation day 3

Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble, He cares for those you trust in Him.

Yesterday I had my 3rd treatment of radiation. I got there at 3 pm and there were 2 ladies in the waiting room. It turns out that the computer for the machine went down and they were behind. One lady in the waiting room was on her 33rd treatment and today will be her last. She said that in all those 33 days, this was the 2nd time she had seen someone else in the waiting room. She usually waits 5 minutes or less and then it's her turn. The other lady was on her 7th day of treatment and she had never seen anyone in the waiting room. Here it was my 3rd treatment and the 2nd time I had seen someone in the waiting room. I just thought it was the norm. Once I got in the treatment room, it didn't take long at all. They didn't have to put any wires on me this time. My favorite nurse, Kim , was not my nurse that day--just Robert and Milton but they are nice too. While in the waiting room, the first lady said she was on an antibiotic cream for her burns. Yikes. The 2nd lady told me that she wasn't red yet but has been putting on the aloe vera gel 3 times a day. She heard that it was usually midway before you notice any redness. I forgot to bring any aloe vera gel with me to town and here I was staying in town until 8 pm. I went grocery shopping after my treatment so I bought another bottle of aloe vera gel (figured I'll need another bottle anyway) and then I went into the bathroom at church when I dropped off the boys for basketball practice to put on the gel. I was able then to get the gel on twice for the day. My treatment today is at 11:20 am.

I went to the library yesterday and decided to look for any breast cancer book that wasn't there before. I found a great one for what to do after you are done with treatments. It is called "After Breast Cancer: A common sense guide to life after treatments". I started reading it especially where they talk about your hair growing back, etc. It says that your hair grows an inch a month and usually is curly like a sheep or poodle but straightens out more as the hair lengthens. The book says that the eyebrows and eyelashes grow back in faster and also hair on the legs and underarms. . I have to admit that it has been nice not to shave my legs or my armpits. But I won't mind doing it again for that shows me that things are gettting back to normal.

Gotta run, my walking partner just called and we are going walking. I will let you know more about what I am learning in the book in the next few days. Thanks for your prayers. Just pray that I will have the energy I need to get through each day. I am so tired these days but so busy too. Love you all.

Micah 7:7 But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior, my God will hear me.

Radiation day 2

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Things went smoothly for my second radiaton day. I had the same nurses--the guy is named Milton. They put the wire on again to measure the radiation. It read '5' but not sure what that means but he was pleased with the reading. I counted the seconds to see how long it took to zap me. Only 15 seconds each time. Wow---I'm there for a 30 second radiation treatment. lol. I was there for a total of 15 minutes. Not bad but then I spend an hour just driving to have this treatment. Too bad I don't have time to do things in town while there but I really have to rush home to finish up schooling with the boys, etc. So far there is no redness from the radiation. I felt some tingling sensations for a little bit but that is all. I am using the aloe vera gel so hopefully I won't get burned or at least not much. I am really tired today. I worked with kids at church which exhausted me but it was fun since I am teaching 5 energetic kids to scrapbook. Tomorrow I have my radiation treatment at 3 pm. Thanks for your prayers.

Galatians 6:2a Carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.